unsavory-melon
unsavory-melon
Unsavory-melon
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unsavory-melon · 19 hours ago
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just remembered how during christmas break we got stopped at three different tsa checks cause they had no idea what the Dense Block in my moms backpack could be other than a bomb or brick of drugs. shout out Way of Kings by brandon sanderson!
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this thing is 4x2.5x7 inches. literally more than half as thick as it is wide.
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unsavory-melon · 6 days ago
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Finally
I reread the stormlight b9oks not too ling before I got WaT and I saw none of the issues people complained about
I'm so sick of people shitting on things the second they come out
So I finished Rereading Wind and Truth last night, and I finally feel ready to put together some coherent thoughts about it. I liked it a LOT better on the reread. Spoilers ahead!
Some of the issues I had with it on the first read were
character arcs not going where I wanted
cringe dialogue
characters not feeling like themselves
unnecessarily repeated information
scenes stretching longer than they needed to, the whole book feeling "bloated" for the sake of Sanderson getting to say he'd written a new longest book
Like 95% of this went away during this reread. I did reread all the main entry stormlight books before rereading this one (so I skipped Edgedancer, etc) and I think that must be why? I even made a post on here 200 pages into the Way of Kings being like GOD the writing was better here, but now I can't even tell the difference?
Maybe Sanderson's writing has just gradually changed over time and reading everything in series makes it not obvious in a way that reading one book on its own doesn't. Like, first read I thought Kaladin and Syl's dialogue was campy and eugh in a number of places, but now it feels like a more natural evolution of their characters.
I think also that since it had been so long since I had actually read the books that my memory of what each character was actually like had mutated in my own head, so seeing them back in canon was like being slapped in the face with the inconsistencies, but they were MY inconsistencies. I had forgotten precisely what things each character was smart vs stupid about and fallen into the trap of "Character A is smart, character B is dumb, and character C is smart about X but not Y" when they're all WAY more nuanced than that.
I was also focusing on the wrong details on my first read. I was super interested in the Ba-Ado-Mishram plot, and didn't fully absorb what was going on with Dalinar and Honor and Odium and Gavinor, so the fucking Gavinor Champion reveal felt unearned and shocking-for-the-sake-of-shocking in a way I don't expect from Sanderson and I hated it. This time, since I knew it was coming, I looked at Gavinor way more closely and yeah. That was set up in literally every single vision Gavinor and Dalinar are both in. It was set up in foreshadowing and fits thematically with the whole "when you say you'll sacrifice anything for the greater good, do you really mean it?" thing this book had going on, so while I hate it for reasons like "Oh god a child spent 20 years being raised with the attention of an evil god and literally noone else." That is in fact the whole point. You're supposed to hate it. Obviously. But it no longer feels "unearned" to me.
I still hate the Ghostblood plotline though. The ghostbloods have been utterly uninteresting to me the whole time, and I hate that they were the main focus of Shallan's adventures because I like Shallan but just couldn't force myself to care about the ghostbloods and it was all for that?? That fucking clownshow?? The big scary cosmere-wide intelligence organization of evil was taken down in a year and a half by a half-trained 19 year old who said "you're lying to my face rn, die on the knife I stole from you. I'm lying to your face rn, die on the knife I stole from you"? Their master plan was to stand around looking dangerous, wait for someone else to figure it out, and then swoop in at the last minute? No fucking wonder Shallan could bumble through everything and still win, she at least had some sort of direction. Utter waste of page space, that whole mess was. I didn't enjoy it the first time, and I didn't enjoy it the second time either.
Still not happy at the Jasnah-Fen-Taravangian debate also. I hold to my first impression that Fen folded way too easily. I simply refuse to believe that she would be shocked that Jasnah had assassins look into killing her. Like, she's Alethi. duh. Fen accused Dalinar to his face of trying to conquer Thaylenah when he was putting the coalition together and she's shocked that his niece is as ruthless and brutal as he was? Please be so for real right now. Fen is in her seventies and has been queen for god knows how long, she absolutely knows by now what a snake pit the Alethi court is. That Jasnah is just as bad as the rest of them really shouldn't be a surprise to her. And that being the thing that convinces her to join Odium? That Jasnah's a hypocrite? I thought the point about Thaylenah not having any friendly ports to trade with was way more compelling personally, but that gets glossed over as soon as it's brought up. But no, Fen has to be worried about a foreign Queen putting her own country over Thaylenah (which. Obviously a queen cares more about her people than other people, but even so Jasnah has backed other coalition countries instead of trying to take back Alethkar this WHOLE TIME, so like, does Jasnah even put Alethkar first? I would argue no, honestly)... and so then Fen chooses to be the first one to ACTUALLY betray the other person and signs her country over to literal Odium instead of taking the chance that Jasnah might pick her own people over Fen's in the nebulous future. Thematically, and for her own character arc, Jasnah losing that argument works. On its own though, that whole debate doesn't work for me in the slightest.
HOWEVER the stuff I loved the first time was even better the second time. I knew exactly what was gonna happen to Adolin and could still feel my stomach roiling in stress every time we saw Azimir. I have thoughts about the implications of the Unoathed but that's gonna be a whole separate post. I knew exactly how the Kaladin-and-Szeth Roadtrip-to-Hell was gonna shake out and that actually enhanced my enjoyment of watching these two human weapons figure out how to talk about emotions and consider being a real person for once. Them ending up with Szeth finally deciding for himself for once and choosing to try and put down the sword was heartbreaking to watch, his flashback chapters showing us that he was just a little boy that nobody helped, and Kaladin deciding that he would fight and protect people because that's who he truly is even outside of duty came together beautifully. I was cheering my way through the last 200ish pages at their successes.
Other things I loved - Rlain and Renarin are canon! Two local misfits finally start kissing about it! Also, Venli and Sigzil outsmarting Odium and Moash and El - extremely satisfying. Take that you fucking bastards. Still would have liked to see more Moash though, he feels a little underutilized. El is possibly also underutilized, but I can accept an extended setup for wherever the hell he's going, I trust Sanderson to have a good plan there.
IN SUMMARY - already knowing where everyone was headed and having refreshed my memory of the previous material bumped my rating of this book up from a 6/10 to like 8/10. Not stressing about plot let me enjoy the characters for who they are, and I really like these characters!
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unsavory-melon · 8 days ago
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I Assign Cosmere Characters A Random Animal As Their Pet
I'm using the random generator from this post. I've already created a list of Cosmere characters (it's just the main characters I always do, ha ha), and then I'll randomly assign them a pet and see how they fair! For the record, these results are not altered at all!
[For the purposes of this post, we're gonna pretend that any animal that comes up would make a good and ethical pet, okay? Please don't actually try to adopt a bear.]
1. Kaladin: A dromedary (a type of camel)
Kaladin: [stares at the camel] Camel: [stares at Kaladin] Kaladin: T-This is just a bigger, meaner horse! Kaladin: I can tell just from one glance into its eyes that that hump is full of SPITE Camel: [spits at Kaladin] Kaladin: I KNEW IT
2. Vin: A mustang (a type of horse)
Vin: Yes, yes, you think you're soooo pretty and fast, don't you? Vin: I'm faster, you know. Probably. With enough metal. Vin: So just don't you getting to big for your horse britches! Elend: Wow! What a beautiful horse! Vin: Don't you start!
3. Shallan: A monkey
Shallan: What a cute little monkey you are! Shallan: With the little outfit Adolin sewed for you, and the paintbrush I gave you! Shallan: A regular little monkey artist! Pattern: [buzzing] I keep telling you, Shallan, this creature wants to be like that one person I saw when you were looking for the herald! It wants to be paint with its p- Shallan (loudly): We'll just use regular paint, thank you!
4. Tress: A mandrill (largest monkey in the world)
Tress: Wow, you have such a pretty face, ma'am! Tress: And a large girl like you won't need to fear any mean ol' cat, will you! Charlie: I feel strangely inadequate. Tress: I-I didn't mean it that way!
5. Dalinar: A bear
Dalinar: You and I are a lot alike, bear. Dalinar: We are both large and intimidating, and we can hurt a lot of people if we get violent. Dalinar: ... Dalinar: Also, apparently Navani really likes to cuddle with both of us. Navani: He's soooo soft!
6. Painter: A bighorn (a type of sheep)
Painter: I like him. Painter: He's got a noble bearing. You can tell with those big horns and steely gaze, he's probably king of his herd or something. Painter: So please stop stacking chopsticks on his head. Yumi: Come on, he LOVES his chopstick-tower-hat! Bighorn: [making happy sheep noises] Painter: I-I just think his gravitas is taking a hit.
7. Leshwi: A burro (a type of donkey)
Lewshi: I'll admit, I was really hoping for an animal that could fly. Venli: Surely anything can fly if you lash it to the sky. Leshwi: I tried that. Leshwi: Apparently donkeys don't like to fly.
8. Adolin: A basilisk (a type of lizard)
Shallan: So...why the little cape on your lizard friend? Adolin: He runs across water! It's cool, but I thought it would look even cooler if he was wearing a cape while he did it! Shallan: Where do you find enough water for that? Adolin: Well...he's mostly been running across a bathtub. Shallan: Ah, so he REALLY needs the coolness factor of a cape... Adolin: Yeah, I think it'll really help his self-esteem.
9. Steris: A sheep
Wax: Hey Steris. Steris: Hello, Wax. Wax: I can't help but notice that where yesterday was one sheep, today there are fifteen sheep. Steris: I read that they feel better in herds! Wax: You always go all in--I love that about you. Wax: ... Steris: ... Wax: So we're sheep farmers now? Steris: A little bit, yeah.
10. Navani: A ferret
Sibling: NAVANI YOUR FERRET IS RUNNING THROUGH MY TUNNELS AGAIN Navani: It loves you! Sibling: IT'S LIKE THAT LIFT CHILD ALL OVER AGAIN
11. Siri: A budgerigar (bird)
Siri: This little guy is perfect for me! Siri: Colorful, small, sweet! Siri: I'm teaching it to talk! Budgie: Let's destroy evil! Siri: ... Siri: Uncle Vasher was here again, wasn't he?
12. Kelsier: A duckbill platypus (yes, really)
Kelsier: Everyone, meet the newest member of our team! Dockson: Uh...what is that? Vin: It looks like a bunch of different animals stuck together. Breeze: Rather unsightly, really. Ham: You, uh, doing okay, Kel? Kelsier: You're all such doubters. But watch what happens when I do THIS! [Puts a fedora on the platypus] Vin: ...Why do I suddenly feel like he's going to make a great spy? Kelsier: Trust me, this is gonna be great!
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unsavory-melon · 9 days ago
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Starting a collection
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unsavory-melon · 9 days ago
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POV you’re watching Jayce and Viktor give their science presentation but one of them clearly pulled an all nighter
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unsavory-melon · 9 days ago
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SIR
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unsavory-melon · 9 days ago
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unsavory-melon · 9 days ago
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woke back up at the edge of sleep the other night with a very unimportant thought
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unsavory-melon · 9 days ago
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She began the process anyway. Ten heartbeats, to bring forth the fruit of her sin, the proceeds of her most horrific act.
shallan has a shardblade???
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unsavory-melon · 9 days ago
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I KNOWWWW MY LITTLE MAAAAAAAAN
SCREAMING. CRYING. THROWING UP. TIEN.
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unsavory-melon · 14 days ago
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Cosmere Characters React to the Cosmere Femslash Prompt Generator
Happy femslash February! @gal-palanaeum has created a Cosmere Femslash Prompt Generator (here) which creates fun ships & scenarios to inspire you! Please check it out!
Me being me, I've created a bunch of randomly generated prompts to consider how Cosmere characters might react to them.
1. The Prompt: "Venli couldn't stand Palona at first, but then..."
Venli: [Looks expectantly at Palona] Venli: Well? What about you is going to win me over? Palona: Hmmm...well, there was a time my partner and I had a literal picnic during the onset of the world's first Everstorm--on the Shattered Plains. You know, the very place where the two storms were crashing into each other. Venli: ... Venli: Dammit, that IS really hot...
2. The Prompt: "If Shallan keeps looking so maladroit I'm going to end up scrying her," Tindwyl whispered to herself."
Shallan: [scoffs] "Maladroit"? I've never been maladroit in my life! Tindwyl: [calmly holds up a screenshot of Shallan sprawled out on the floor with her underwear showing] Shallan: T-That was on purpose! Tindwyl: Mmm-hmmm.
3. The Prompt: "Can't you be normal about Hesina for five minutes?" Jasnah growled at Palona.
Hesina: Oooh, so in this story, the Alethi Queen and Urithiru's economic powerhouse are fighting over me?? Hesina: What happens next?? Jasnah [who had been about to criticize the implication that she would tell any woman to be "normal"]: Well... Palona [who had been about to criticize the implication that she'd let any situation devolve to the point of growling]: Uh... Jasnah: Perhaps...Palona starts to expound on your virtues? Palona: Y-Yes, the words, "How COULD I be normal about such a woman" are surely coming next. Hesina: [eyes sparking]
4. The Prompt: "Watching Akane and Yumi kiss made the Midnight Mother feel so mean!"
Akane: The Midnight Mother...is homophobic? Yumi: W-We should make out harder to show her the error of her ways!
5. The Prompt: "Cord and Rysn were constantly trying to pinch each other, until something changed…"
Rysn: [Looks at Cord] Cord: [Looks at Rysn] Rysn: [Imagining sloppy make-outs] Cord: [Imagining her defending Rysn from a sudden pirate attack after which she leaps to safety with Rysn in her arms] Rysn: C-Can you imagine... Cord: H-Ha, yeah...
6. The Prompt: "Sylphrena nodded, looking over her plans. 'The only way to stay on the Wind's Pleasure is to break up Cord and Rysn,' she announced."
Cord: Uh, wow. Rysn: Dishonor Spren, more like. Syl: I-I'm sure it's one of those stories where you'd end up getting back together!!!
7. The Prompt: Eshonai and Vivenna walked hand in hand in the Nightwatcher's Valley, with their trusty havah nearby.
Vivenna: Now, I'm relatively new to this world, but isn't a "havah," like, the main piece of a woman's clothing? Eshonai: Among Vorin humans, yeah. Vivenna: So are we, like, strolling naked? Eshonai: On our way to see a dragon. Vivenna: Kinky.
8. The Prompt: "'Sure, I'm atop Gallant,' Radiant smiled, 'but I would leave it all behind for you.' // 'Even your spren?' Design asked, blushing."
Pattern: Mmmm, ditching your chaperone, Radiant?? Pattern: I know what that means!
9. The Prompt: "She was running out of time. If Queen Fen didn't act fast, she might lose her chance to ask Jaxlim on a date."
Jaxlim: Ah yes, this is told of in our ancient songs... Jaxlim: It is called "Old Woman Yuri." Fen: Is that...really in the ancient Listener songs? Jaxlim: [smiles cryptically]
10. The Prompt: "'I wish I could milk Azure and Jasnah,' Sylphrena said."
Azure: ... Jasnah: ... Syl: ... Azure: ... Jasnah: ... Syl: Although...you know, now that I'm thinking about it... Jasnah & Azure: NO
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unsavory-melon · 15 days ago
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good things will happen 🧿
things that are meant to be will fall into place 🧿
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unsavory-melon · 15 days ago
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whenever a young kid joins our staff at work im just like huh. guess im a father now.
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unsavory-melon · 15 days ago
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*through gritted teeth* i will see the good in the world
*clenching my fists* i will be kind to myself.
*screaming into a pillow* i will love this life for all it has to offer
*face down in the floor* there is so much beauty that i have yet to experience
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unsavory-melon · 16 days ago
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No it's rough actually
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Perfectly timed wedding photo
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unsavory-melon · 17 days ago
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I read Tress Of The Emerald Sea recently and I just want to say, seeing a well adjusted teenager slowly devolve into a pirate captain gremlin obsessed with what's probably the most dangerous thing on her planet is exactly what I needed
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unsavory-melon · 19 days ago
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