unreliablewitness34

[unreliablewitness34]

My liege, how do you remain positive in a world so cruel?

There is a lot of despair right now. I do not wish to add for it. A lot of things can be taken from me, but I will remain hopeful and silly and filled with love for the people I care about. They will not take away my joy

[unreliablewitness34]

idk why but i feel like being a punk is for he/hims and doing ballet is for she/hers

[unreliablewitness34]

I’m getting a lot of people on that post I made about minding your own business who don’t seem to understand what BDSM is

[unreliablewitness34]

[unreliablewitness34]

honestly more media should portray the anti aging industry as horrific and decidedly unhuman. it IS body horror it IS grotesque it DOES go against nature. it WILL kill you. yes.

[unreliablewitness34]

[unreliablewitness34]

an imp with a slug friend for imp thursday

[unreliablewitness34]

basically, i think the general rule of thumb is: if someone REALLY wants the blood that’s inside of your body, and they’re like… a vampire, or a dracula, or some sort of mansquito, then that’s probably okay. a dracula and a mansquito are made for removing things like blood and swords from inside your body. that’s basically fine.

if something wants to get at your blood, and they’re, say, some kind of murdersaurus, or maybe a really big frog, that’s where the problems start to arise. a really frog is not made for removing blood, and your blood knows this, which is why it is so vehement about wanting to stay IN your body instead of coming out. 

unfortunately this will not deter a really big frog, because a really big frog is full of things like prizes, and value, and quite a lot of hatred, and it would REALLY rather like to replace any and all of those things with your blood, and basically by any means possible.

[unreliablewitness34]

if your game needs 150 gigabytes of my hard drive it better come out the computer and suck me off. i hate you

[unreliablewitness34]

my favorite video of all time ever

[unreliablewitness34]

your honour i understand that it is treason to release classified documents about military equipment but you saw what that guy on the forum said i couldn't just let someone be that wrong

[unreliablewitness34]

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[unreliablewitness34]

i would've fucked so hard as a court jester in ye olde i would've jangled my balls and done a little dance and sang my silly tunes i'd be so good at my job. alas i have to be on tumblr instead which is like a poor imitation of it

[unreliablewitness34]

What's your thoughts on vegan zombies?

I mean like. The abrupt, tragic loss of one's individual identity, memory, and morality, replaced only by hunger, is kind of like. The principal thing about zombies. In my opinion

[unreliablewitness34]

”which could mean nothing” is maybe my favorite phrase of all time. where would we be without it

[unreliablewitness34]

it’s been. it’s been 364 days.

[unreliablewitness34]

“Unfortunately”