unqualified-advice-blog

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for my fellow psychotics who struggle with thinking someone is in their house, a method I’ve found that really works are these guys:

i put them on my front door and anytime it opens they ring. that way if i think someone has broken in or i see someone who isn’t there i can think back to if the bells have rung, and if they haven’t i can assure myself it’s not real. obviously it’s not fool proof, like if you are prone to auditory hallucinations, but it has really helped me calm down in time to avoid major psychotic breaks. it’s a real lifesaver

nonpsychotics encouraged to rb

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If a child is so afraid of getting in trouble that they don't come to their parents when they make a mistake that could possibly put their health or even their life in danger, then those parents have failed.

If something goes wrong, and the first thing that child thinks is, "oh god, my parents are gonna kill me," then the parents have failed.

If a child is afraid of their parents, if the child sees their parents as an active threat instead of a source of safety and guidance, then the parents have failed.

A parents job is to protect, to teach, to guide.

If a parent makes themself a danger to the child, in any capacity, then that parent has failed.

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there is no such thing as universal advice. and therefore, saying “this suggestion you just shouted into the void would make one particular situation so much worse” does not invalidate the advice itself.

“cut off people who do nothing but drain you, your well-being comes first” and “be compassionate towards your friends in need and do not be afraid to ask for compassion in return” are both good advice! both are rules we should try to live by. the balance, the decision of which rule applies to which moment, is something you have to decide for yourself.

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a gentle reminder that you just need to make things a tiny bit better for your future self. reading one page, writing one sentence, getting half of a task done, it’s still good.

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You should tell people how important they are to you. Not because they could leave at any moment, but because they’re here now, and it’s worth saying something.

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i like being a lesbian and all, but holy shit, men are so cool. i hope all men reading this have a wonderful day.

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things that made me stop wanting to die that require no effort whatsoever

change the color used to highlight text on your laptop

move the pictures on your wall

stack whatever clutter is in your room into piles even if you don’t have time to clean it all

slightly vary your commute, even just by one street

change where you sit and scroll aimlessly on your phone even if it’s only to the chair in your room instead of your bed

drink water or juice out of a wine glass in the morning because nothing is real

shower with the lights off, without music

buy $3 flowers at trader joe’s—they look bad next to the more expensive ones but they look so good in your room

start typing things you don’t post into your notes. your thoughts can be worth documenting even if you don’t deem them worth sharing

wake up super early just once. you don’t have to make it a habit it’s just extra satisfying to go to bed that night

listen to the entirety of your favorite album from 2015

[unqualified-advice-blog]

stem departments in academia: no :) everything’s fine here :) we accepted so many women (2/15 incoming students) :) so what if they all dropped out within the year :)

can we talk about the way we encourage women to enter stem fields but then do nothing to change what makes stem environments hostile to women

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sometimes it’s better refrain from deep introspection and allow yourself to just be.

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So I spend quite a bit of time in the mountains, but as a disabled person I end up spending a lot of time hanging out at the cabin or only getting to see the views via car accessible overlooks. But!!! I just discovered this wonderful website called Accessible Nature. It lists “easier”, wheelchair accessible, and trails designed for the visually impaired all across the United States and Canada. It’s of course not a perfect system, because we all have different varying degrees of physical capability, but an incredible resource all the same.

They are also always looking for more info! Definitely get in contact if you can help build this database!

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“I’m almost 50, and here is the best thing I have learned so far: every strange thing you’ve ever been into, every failed hobby or forgotten instrument, everything you have ever learned will come back to you, will serve you when you need it. No love, however brief, is wasted.” @louisethebaker on Twitter

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setting up my little habitat in the office, engineering my space so i drink enough water every day

I don't know who needs to hear this, but if the phrase "self care" doesn't resonate with you, try calling it "system maintenance" and see if that clicks.

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i almost never see any real positivity for butch/masc bi women because people can’t seem to stand the idea that bi women are capable of rejecting femininity while still claiming their womanhood and sexuality. so i’m sending huge love and positivity for butch/masc bi women who don’t feel welcome by straight people and people in their own community. huge love and positivity for every bi women whose identity has tried to been reduced to their “availability” to men. huge love and positivity to all the bi women who are interested in all the things that are traditionally considered masculine. huge love and positivity to butch and masc bi women, you are always welcome in my circle just the way you are.

and it bothers me that i even have to write this next part but yes bi women are absolutely allowed to identify as butch and if you want to clown on this post, take your nasty biphobic ass somewhere else and stop harassing bi women.

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truer words have never been spoken (x)

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i don’t think we acknowledge enough that when children want to be treated “like adults” what they really mean is “like people”

this is just my own observations of course but 90% of the time when a kid tries to get people to treat them like an adult, what they really want is the respect and acknowledgement that they associate with adulthood - because that’s what they must give the adults. they have to give that to the adults in their lives, but the adults never give that same respect back, and so they see that difference and decide that they want to be treated “like an adult”

and sometimes i see parents who are like fine you want to be treated like an adult then you can work and pay rent but that’s the exact OPPOSITE of what the kid is actually asking for. you’re just belittling them, clearly intending to punish them for daring ask for your respect, clearly intending for them to break down and beg to be “treated like a child” again because you purposefully twisted their wants. they ask for respect, and you give them abuse.

never, ever, ever, treat a child like a full grown adult. it’s our responsibility as adults NOT to, because they ARENT adults no matter how much they think they want to be, and it’s our job as adults to take care of them.

that said, ALWAYS treat children like people. because they ARE that. they’re real people with real agency acting as best as they know to with what knowledge they have

it’s not a matter of kids trying to grow up too fast, it’s a matter of kids wanting to be treated like people instead of objects or pets.

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I have a rant about how we are not taught what strength looks like in women bc that’s never something we emphasize abt women’s appearance in media and how women’s bodies tend to display muscle differently from men’s bodies so associating strength with men tends to engender this bias and etc