unpublishedwriter

[unpublishedwriter]

bitches be like "this is my comfort ship" and it's literally at least one, but usally both of the most traumatized characters together

it's me, i'm bitches <3

[unpublishedwriter]

If we make it through December

Fandom: The Last Of Us

Characters: Joel Miller, Ellie Williams, Gn reader insert

Warnings: This is NOT a ship fic. Father/Daughter relationship, Father/Child relationship, mentions of abuse, mentions of blood, not very graphic description of injuries, hurt/comfort, found family, usage of they/them pronounce for reader.

Summery: After escaping David and his people Joel, Ellie and y/n make their escape through the forest. Once they find a place to stop for the night the three must come to terms with what they've been through and what they've become.

A/N: So this is my first time posting a fic online (wattpad who? sorry don't know what ur talking ab I definitely didn't have a wattpad when i was 11) so like bare with me please haha. Any and all constructive criticism is welcome:) Y/n and Ellie aren't actually related (unless u want them to be ofc) but they see each other as siblings. Reader is older then Ellie but still a teen (in my mind they are 17 but u can choose whatever age u want). Can be read as both game tlou fic and show tlou fic cuz I love both and didn't put any specific descriptions for Joel or Ellie. Also English isn't my first language, I triple checked the spelling but if you find any mistakes then sorry! This fic is dedicated to everyone that looked at Joel Miller and said "damn, i wish he was my dad"

They didn’t know how long they’ve been running for. Joel kept a firm grip on both kids, completely ignoring the ache from his right side where his wound was stitched up.

The pain didn’t matter. What mattered were the two kids he kept an iron grip on. The two kids that had been taking care of him, two kids who had to fight to survive while he was unconscious. Two kids that had to kill while he was in that basement. Two kids that he failed. 

His kids. 

He couldn’t think about that now, couldn’t let himself drown in guilt. 

No, he had to keep pushing forward, he had to put as much distance between them and that awful village. 

He had to get his kids to safety. 

Then he’s going to check if–   

No, he’s going to check where and how they’ve been hurt, because as much as he wished for it, there was no way they got out of this without any injuries. 

He had already noticed the blood running from Ellie's nose and the giant bruise on y/n’s cheek. 

The two teens were covered in blood, head to toe, and Joel prayed that most of that blood wasn’t their own. 

Time didn’t feel real as they kept pushing forward, going wherever their eyes could see. The kids held on tightly to Joel, almost as if to make sure that he wouldn’t disappear, to make sure he was really there. 

The wind started picking up and it looked like a snow storm was coming. 

While the storm would cover up their tracks, Joel’s stomach sank as he looked around and saw nothing but trees. Joel didn’t know what to do, he only knew that they wouldn’t survive outside. 

He kept walking forward, against the wind, as the two kids gripped him harder, practically wrapping him into their arms from both sides. 

They were all exhausted, on the verge of collapsing, and the wind was getting stronger. 

It can’t end like this. He can’t fail them again. He can’t lose them. Not again. 

Maybe luck was finally on their side, or maybe the god that Joel had long since stopped believing in had heard his prayers, but as they walked out of the woods Joel saw the outskirts of a small town. 

The ice cold wind was blasting in their faces, but they were together and they were almost there. They’ll be ok. They’ll have to be. 

The closest building to them was some sort of store, probably a drug store by the looks of how small it was. It's doors and windows were intact so it was their best option at that moment. 

The three made their way in and reluctantly pulled apart to check if there were any infected, or people. They were relieved to find out that the place was empty. 

Joel pulled one of the shelves to the door, barricading it. The windows were sealed and boarded up so no one could see inside but some light still filtered through the cracks. The light was grey and cold, the outside now completely overtaken by the snow storm. 

No one’s gonna find us here.

Joel walked away from the window and turned around to look at the two teens. Ellie and y/n were once again checking every corner of the store, making sure there was nothing bad in there with them. 

“Hey” Joel spoke softly and both teens stopped what they were doing. They looked at him, their eyes still frantic. “We’re ok here, we’re safe.” Joel assured them but it didn’t seem to ease them. They were shaken, bloodied and bruised and it was all his fault.

No, there’s no time for that now. They need me. 

Joel walked over to the side of the store that seemed to be the most clean of any rubble, then he put down his backpack and his gun. He looked back at the two kids who were still standing in the same places, staring at him. He nodded his head to the side, calling them over. Y/n closed the door to the storage room as Ellie walked over and put down her bag.

She didn’t remember when she got it back, nor when she had put it on. It didn’t matter much. Even if she’d lost it, it wouldn’t have mattered. 

Y/n also walked over putting down their own bag, then their gun and their bat. But as they looked at the bat, or rather the half dried blood on it, they decided to put it a little further away from them. 

They didn’t want to look at it, didn’t want the reminder of the things they’ve been through, the things they’ve done. They knew that they did what had to be done, had to protect themselves and their sister, but their stomach still turned as they remembered the screams of those man.

They quickly forced themselves out of it. This isn’t the time for it. They needed to make sure that the others were ok, they can deal with it later. 

“How’s your wound?” They asked nodding towards Joel. Y/n looked at his shirt, noting that there was no blood on the side of his injury, which probably meant that his stitches were still intact. 

“It’s alright, I’m alright.” He reassured them. They nodded softly and before he could ask them whatever it is he wanted to ask them, they had turned to Ellie, looking her up and down, holding her upper arms gently. 

“What about you? Did they get you anywhere? How’s your nose?” They looked at Ellie’s face, searching it for an answer but Ellie just looked back at them blankly before shaking her head and looking down. 

Y/n wasn’t sure they believed her, but they didn’t want to push. They didn’t find any wounds on her so they decided that the best first thing to do was to get Ellie cleaned up. 

Joel rolled out his sleeping bag on the floor next to a wall so y/n gently sat Ellie down on it before walking over to their pack. They pulled out an old shirt and without thinking about it ripped off a big chunk. Then they took out their water bottle and poured some of the water on the cloth, ignoring how the water made the open gashes under their, now soaked, bandages burn. 

Ellie was sitting there, completely zoned out and Joel was trying to figure out how to warm this place up. Even though they were inside, the walls and the floors were made of concrete, and the heating wasn’t working for obvious reasons. It was cold but he couldn’t start a fire since the windows were sealed shut. 

Y/n gently tilted Ellie’s head towards them, only holding her by the chin. Ellie was still spaced out, shaking both from the cold and the stress still running through her body. Y/n knew what she was thinking about, trying to process the horrors of the past few days. 

She must’ve been so scared, alone in that horrible cage. Y/n didn’t know exactly what happened to Ellie, they were stuck in a different room in their own cage, but through their own experience they knew that this is something Ellie will be haunted by for a very long time. 

Y/n gently started wiping away the blood on Ellie’s face. Her nose stopped bleeding a while ago, which y/n took as good news. 

Joel, seeing how much Ellie was shaking and not knowing what else to do, took Ellie’s sleeping bag from her backpack and unzipped it all the way. He walked over to where y/n was now carefully wiping the blood from Ellie’s hands, and wrapped the sleeping bag around Ellie hoping that it would warm her up. Then he walked over to where y/n had left the other part of their, now ripped, shirt and picked it up. 

Snow had flown in when they got inside and was now sitting in a pile next to the entrance. Joel wrapped as much snow as he could into the cloth and walked back over to y/n who was still trying to get blood off of Ellie. He gently took the wet cloth from y/n’s hands to which they protested and tried to get the cloth back but he stopped them. “It’s ok, I got her.” He spoke softly. “Here, put this on your cheek.” He held out the improvised cold pack to them. 

Y/n looked between the pack and Joel, who nodded softly for them to take it. So they did, and then put it on their cheek. They didn’t notice how badly it was hurting until now. “Thanks.” They said to Joel who just nodded and turned back to Ellie, wiping the remaining blood off of her. 

Y/n sat there for a second, not really sure of what to do. 

These past few weeks as Joel was recovering y/n was constantly busy. They were the one to check on his wound, they were the one going out to hunt and look through the empty houses for anything of use, they were the one to take the watch at night so that Ellie could sleep. 

Y/n needed something to do, something to distract them from all these thoughts and feelings in them. They walked over to where their backpack was and sat down next to it. With their free hand they ruffled through their belongings until they found their first aid kit. It was mostly empty now, after all the time of tending to Joel’s wound, but it still had a roll of gauze. They put down their ‘cold pack’ and started to undo the bandages that were currently on their hands. 

They were soaked in blood, both their own and the blood of the hunters. Their hands had chapped from the cold, so much so that gashes split open in their skin, causing their hands to bleed. They didn’t have anything to treat their hands with so their best option was to wrap them up, at least to prevent infection. 

Taking the gauze off proved itself to be an issue. Their hands were shaking more than usually and it was very painful to peel the gauze from the skin. They struggled a lot but finally freed their left hand. 

Wrapping the hand, as it turns out, was going to be even more of a challenge. Last time they did it their hands were not in that bad of a condition. But after all that time in the cold and all the fighting they found their hands in terrible shape. They had to handle it. They had to. 

They had to fix their hands, and go back to taking care of the little family they now had. They needed to protect them no matter the cost. They weren’t going to let their hands stop them from doing so. 

They had to keep them safe, they had to- “Let me see that.” Y/n looked up to see Joel now kneeling down in front of them. They looked behind him to see Ellie who was now clean of blood, except for her clothes but it was still an improvement, wrapped in the sleeping bag and looking through the crack in the bordered up window. 

They then looked back at Joel whose hand was reaching for their now bandage-less hand. Not touching them, just giving them the option. 

They held out their left arm which Joel gently took, avoiding all the open wounds. He looked it over, then reached over to the now almost melted ‘cold pack’ next to y/n, got the remaining snow out of it, and gently started to wipe away the blood on their hand. Then he took the new gauze and started wrapping it around y/n’s fingers, asking them if it was too tight or if it hurt every once in a while. 

Once he was done with that hand, he repeated the process on their right hand, just as gently and carefully. Once he was done, Joel helped y/n put everything back into their pack and then helped them get up. “We’ll find you something to help with that later, ok?” 

Y/n nodded and picked up their own sleeping bag and walked over to where Ellie was starting to drift off. Joel sat down next to Ellie after pulling out the gun out of his holster. He stayed close to her but gave her space. Ellie however moved closer to him, leaning on his side for warmth and comfort. Y/n mirrored her, they sat down on the opposite side of Joel, unwrapped and fully unzipped their sleeping bag, and then carefully placed it on top of their and Joel’s legs. 

Finally, a heavy silence took over them. None of them could talk, all three were lost in their own thoughts, trying to process all that had just occurred. 

As it got darker outside, Ellie lied down on the ground, putting her head on Joel's thigh. She looked like a child. Of course Ellie was only 14 and still was a kid but right there and then she looked even younger, curled up at Joel’s side, sleep finally taking over her. Joel put his hand on her arm. 

“You should get some sleep.” Y/n whispered to him. “I can take first watch.”

“No it’s alright, you should sleep tonight.” He said in a lowered voice as to not wake Ellie. 

He saw that y/n was about to disagree but he shook his head. “I’ve slept enough already, and knowing you, you probably got no sleep at all.” Y/n got quiet and turned their head to look forward instead of at him. 

They looked exhausted, their skin was sickly pale and the bags under their eyes were almost as dark as that horrible bruise on their cheek. They were a stark contrast to the bright and funny teenager he got to know these past four months. The teenager that always had a look of wonder on their face, finding beauty even in the broken world around them. 

Sometimes when something reminded them of their past they’d get lost in thought, their eyes only focusing on the ground under them, but they’d always comeback to reality quickly, if not for themselves then surely for Ellie who’d talk her heart out until y/n said something back. 

The same Ellie at his side that hasn’t said a word in hours. It was uncomfortable to not hear Ellie's voice for so long. No questions, no puns, no sarcastic comments. 

And while now Ellie was asleep, Joel knew that she wouldn’t be back to her normal self tomorrow. 

His heart clenched as he realized that there’s a possibility she’d never go back to her normal self. Neither of them might. What if his two children will never be the same again? No more stupid jokes, no more silly arguments, no more talks about the stars, no more questions about the past and the future, no more wonder.

No more Ellie and y/n. 

How could he have let this happen? Doubt and guilt started clawing at his mind again. His weaknesses led to this. Because of him these two wonderful kids have been stripped of their identities. It was all his fault. 

He failed again and again and aga-

His thoughts stopped in their tracks as he felt y/n lean their head on his shoulder. Y/n wanted to stay up, they wanted to protect the two people they loved the most, but their body was betraying them. 

After weeks of barely any sleep, after all the fighting and running, they were shutting down. 

They needed to let go, they needed to sleep for at least a little bit, but they were so afraid that while they slept something terrible would happen and they’d wake up all alone, without a trace of either Joel or Ellie. 

Their eyes were drooping as they fought to stay awake. They tilted their head a bit upwards as they whispered

“Joel?” 

He hummed, letting them know that they had his full attention.

“I’m so tired.” They whispered. 

It was a confession. It was more than just about their body. They were tired on so many levels.

They were tired of being an adult when they should have been a kid, they were tired of being scared, they were tired of being unloved. 

They confessed that to him, quietly, not expecting him to understand it on any other level other than that of a physical tiredness. 

But Joel understood. Of course he did. They were his child. 

And it didn’t matter that he didn’t see them grow up, it didn’t matter that he wasn’t there when they spoke their first words or took their first steps. 

It didn’t matter that they weren’t tied by blood.

All that mattered was that they were there by his side, and he was going to take care of them. 

He was going to take care of both of them, both Ellie and y/n, because now he had two children. 

It didn’t matter that he failed, it didn’t matter that he wasn’t as strong as he thought he had to be to protect them. They were his kids and there was nothing he could do about that now. 

All his doubt and all his guilt was nothing compared to how much he cared about the two kids that were now clinging to him. 

He let go of the gun he was holding, leaving it in his lap, then he wrapped his now free hand around y/n’s shoulder, and y/n hid their face in his neck as they felt tears welling in their eyes.

“It’s ok, you’re ok now. I’m here, you can sleep. You don’t have to worry anymore. I’m right here. I’ll take care of you, I promise.” He reassured them quietly. 

That was all it took for y/n to start sobbing. He held them tightly as they let it all out. 

Joel had only seen them cry two times. 

First time after Henry and Sam, when they held on tightly to a shaking Ellie, covering up the young girls eyes when Henry pointed the gun at himself. 

The second time was back in Jackson, in that little room on the second floor. 

He regretted what he said, he regretted how he made those kids feel. 

Quiet tears slipped down both of their faces when he told them that they were not his children and he was not their dad. He was lying to them as much as he was lying to himself. 

But the way they were crying right now… he’d never seen them cry like this. 

They were trying to be as silent as possible, both for his and Ellie’s sake. Their body shook as they took in rigid breaths. 

Joel felt their tears on his neck, and it broke his heart. 

That was the moment that he vowed to himself that he would do everything in his power to make sure that neither of his kids had anything more to cry about like that. 

He knew that they’ve been through a lot. He knew that the two charming kids that had not only broken down his walls, but also crawled into his very heart and made themselves at home there, had lived through things that no human, let alone a child, should ever live though. 

He knew that they’ve lost people, he knew that they’ve been neglected and abused, left to fend for themselves for years. 

And as sad as it made him he knew that there was nothing he could do to change that. 

But as y/n finally fell asleep, their tears still wet on their cheeks and on his neck, and as he held the two sleeping kids in his arms he once again made a vow to himself. 

A vow to give these kids a childhood, a family, a home. 

He knew that they still had a long road ahead of them, their journey wasn’t done yet. 

But they’ll get through it. 

They’ll finish this whole vaccine business and go back to Tommy's. He’ll teach them everything he knows, he’ll take care of them. 

They showed him that, what he thought had died all those 20 years ago with Sarah, was still there within him. So he’ll do the same for them, he’ll show them that they can still be kids. 

He’ll show them what it’s like to have a family and he’ll watch them grow up. 

Yes, the road ahead was long and hard, and he knew that this wasn’t their last challenge. 

But it didn’t matter because they were all together. 

They had each other and if that wasn’t worth fighting for then he didn’t know what was.