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i saw a post on twitter by a european saying americans are fake for their random compliments to strangers and their general cheery demeanor and like no. no no no you don’t understand. if you get a random compliment from an american on the street about your outfit or whatever, that is 100% genuine. we mean it. we aren’t lying we are making a small but fleeting connection with you because our lives are shitty but the human condition is enduring. oh god i’m clutching my chest

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hey, disabled person! do you feel tired all the time? do you feel like you’re working twice as hard as abled people for half the outcome? do you take longer to do every single little thing than an abled person would see as reasonable? well. I would like to introduce you to the concept of crip labour (I first came across this in Smilges, 2023 but I cannot verify whether they came up with the term)

crip labour is a term to describe all the extra work disabled people do on a day-to-day basis. it’s also a form of labour that is invisible to abled people, because they just don’t have to think about most of it. it includes:

the extra labour required to get ready to leave the house in the morning (e.g. the extra steps involved in getting dressed or having a shower)

the social labour required in order to communicate your needs to abled people

the labour involved in having to plan ahead (e.g. knowing where accessible toilets are, knowing where ramp access is, knowing which venues are safe for you to be in)

the administrative labour involved in gaining access to particular institutions (e.g. applying for disability welfare, applying for education access plans, etc)

having a term to describe all the labour involved in keeping yourself alive and happy helps to make that labour more visible. it gives us a way to point out that we are doing more and with less capacity, and it helps to explain why so many of us are so exhausted all the goddamn time

so I hope this is a helpful term for people to bring into their lives!

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touch-starvation needs to be written with emphasis on the starving part. you are hungry to be touched. so hungry that even the very taste of it makes you nauseous. it has been long since anything has ever touched you, ever fed you - that your body has grown more used to that gnawing emptiness more than anything else. it's better for you to be held, to eat but it makes you sick to try. you know

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“we are sun and moon, dear friend; we are sea and land. it is not our purpose to become each other; it is to recognize each other, to learn to see the other and honor him for what he is: each the other’s opposite and complement.”

— hermann hesse, narcissus and goldmund

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Edwin Payne, Charles Rowland, and Anastomosis

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It’s astonishing how much of the bad shit in Reservoir Dogs could have been avoided if Eddie had thought with his brain and not his dick and not put his boyfriend on the team

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your otp finding each other annoyingly endearing aka:

you’re so stoic or deadpan most of the time but when your get flustered your face lights up red like a beacon and it’s so cute.

you’re such a bum getting up late all the time but you always greet me by wrapping your hands around my waist and just get dressed already

you have no idea what personal space is and it’s really distracting when your face is two inches away from mine, what if i turn my head and accidentally kiss you

your music choice is so bad but your undeniably yet irritatingly cute when you bop your head along

you don’t like snuggling or a lot of touching but when you’re asleep you’re a cuddler for better or for worse

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I was gonna wait to post this for the beginning of Autism Acceptance Month. But I can't stop thinking about it so posting early~

Do you have anyone from history that you think was autistic? I'd love to know! It would be cool to make a book about all the historical figures who might've been autistic.

*edit* I made a really silly date typo and changed that, but very sorry for everyone reblogging the most basic of date-errors on a comic about history lmao

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i got nothing to post for thermidor but this

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Diet companies won’t tell you this but starving yourself is a lot worse for your health than overeating

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"Here are 6 ways to regulate yourself using neuropsychology:

If you are stressed, use the physiological sigh. Huberman lab talks about it, but it’s essentially two inhales and one long exhale, and you do that over and over again.

If you are anxious, go for a walk. It deactivates your amygdala.

If you are sad, acknowledge your feelings and then move your body. it release endorphins.

If you are impulsive, like angry. You can’t think straight. Look out the window and don’t look at anything. Just like dilate your gaze. It blunts your neuroadrenaline so you can think clearly.

If you have low motivation, this is interesting ~ focus on one spot on your screen for one minute. Ignore everything else. Pupilary convergence increases focus.

And finally, if you’re feeling insecure, low self-worth, write down your strengths. Logical thinking overrides your limbic system."

~ Ana Del Castillo / Women's Rightness & Empowerment Expert

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Once I was helping a friend help a young, disabled, homeless trans man and we were trying to get him placed in a domestic violence shelter. When my friend called she was told that of COURSE they couldn’t take him, he’s a MAN. She then found out that they wouldn’t take trans women either “for our other client’s comfort.”

If that isn’t a perfect example of how trans people will always be gendered by transphobes in the way that allows them to harm us the most, then I don’t know what is.

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Details That Convey Intimacy

Developing fictional relationships that feel authentic takes more than dialogue and grand gestures. All of details below can be used to show platonic, familial, agape, or romantic love depending on context.

cooking a meal for someone, bringing them food, or spontaneously sharing a snack

sharing body heat/warming someone with outerwear like jackets and scarves

fanning them with something if overheated

getting a cold/hot drink for them

offering to carry something, whether it's heavy or just a jacket, to lighten someone's load or free up their hands

changing the subject of a group conversation that will be personally discomforting to someone in the group

making sure to include someone in a group conversation, especially if it's a topic they know they have experience with

waiting for someone to catch up when the rest of the group has walked ahead

remembering someone's food preferences ahead of time when preparing/ordering food

planning trips, whether in a pair or as a group, that provide something positive for everyone to enjoy

procuring personal healthcare items like sunscreen, moisturizer, lip balm, or pain relievers and keeping them on hand for that friend who frequently needs them

making room for someone in a crowded vehicle or on public transit

making room for someone under an awning or in another limited space to help them avoid bad weather

warning or wordlessly covering for someone with a wardrobe/cosmetic malfunction

remembering a small luxury someone mentioned they enjoy, and getting it for them the next time it's in their power to do so

running an errand for someone to make their day easier ('importance of errand : depth of relationship' ratio should be explored)

escorting someone to safety in a sudden unsettling event

escorting someone who is drunk, sick, infirm, injured, or emotionally compromised

asking if light, noise, or other sensory factors are bothering someone and taking steps to make them more comfortable

getting gag gifts for someone to show you reciprocate their sense of humor or quirky self-expression (not everyone does this, not everyone appreciates it, and some people predominantly express love through humor and gag gifts; works well with some characters more than others)

holding someone's hand or arm as reassurance, especially when they are afraid*

using their body to block someone from wind, rain, or heat

picking up a dropped item, or carrying a train or other dragging garment for someone else

returning a recognizable possession to someone who may have lost it

This is an inexhaustible list as humans have many ways of showing love for each other. If you are writing spec fic with non-human characters, you can play with variations on these by remembering three core values the "lover" has to consider:

physical comfort of others

emotional comfort of others

social reputation of others

I'd add "sensory comfort" though I think it's tied to physical and emotional comfort.

Please do not try and force any of these into the mold of the misogyny-based "Love Language" trend. Human emotions and expressions of love are diverse and endless.

*While hand holding can be construed as romantic, in reality it varies. Some cultures do not see this as romantic, and some individuals only mean it as a sign of support or compassion. Same goes for long embraces and kissing, both can be done platonically and of course naturally between close family members or friends.

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loudly going "YOU'RE GOOD YOU'RE GOOD" to myself to ward off the memory of every embarrassing thing i've ever done

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