unheavenlycreatures

[unheavenlycreatures]

i have this awesome skincare routine called picking at my face till it bleeds. its great because it makes my skin way worse in every way and also it hurts

[unheavenlycreatures]

you can actually still find porn on tumblr as long as ur at work or in public or with your family or trying to find something else or when youre trying to make a post or search your archive or check a tag or your dms or your followers or

[unheavenlycreatures]

If you have a friend that wants to vent to you but doesn't want solutions but you are a solutions-oriented person, may I suggest Silly Solutions (TM)? For instance, whenever my friend complains about the people at her job being dumb, I remind her that if only one of us had studied engineering, we could create a giant hippo robot with laser eyes to destroy them. It fulfills my need to offer a solution, doesn't violate her boundary of not wanting to problem solve, AND it cheers us both up!

[unheavenlycreatures]

I need to be the most fuckable person on this public transport

[unheavenlycreatures]

Not now kitten daddy's googling his symptoms

[unheavenlycreatures]

'cause I'm in my fucking house

[unheavenlycreatures]

Me: dang I hate how my voice cracks on the chorus of Pink Pony Club but the rest of the song is so good.

Six-year-old at karaoke: I only know the chorus. Because I’m six.

Me: this was destined to be.

[unheavenlycreatures]

i just remembered my favourite fucking tweet

[unheavenlycreatures]

Whats up ladies i im several years behind

[unheavenlycreatures]

[unheavenlycreatures]

one day i will write about someone having a good happy time

[unheavenlycreatures]

grief is so crazy like what if i forget what her laugh sounds like. does she know i loved her. i miss her so much. i catch myself doing things she used to do. i wish i could call her. i miss her so much. i do a crossword puzzle. i cry while washing the dishes. does she know i loved her? my heart feels like a hummingbird. i miss her so much. what if i forget what her laugh sounds like. what if i forget.

[unheavenlycreatures]

[unheavenlycreatures]

blackberries are so good <- the start of my fruit reviewer career

[unheavenlycreatures]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[unheavenlycreatures]

i hate knowing things. and not knowing things? not a fan of that either

[unheavenlycreatures]

i love writing situations where loop is having a lovely normal time :) they deserve it! My favorite lil fella!

don't! uh! look at that second image! haha i don't know who put that there! :)