unfcrtunatescn

[unfcrtunatescn]

"FOR JAMES?!?" What was Mercury for, a garbage disposal?

"Has anyone seen James? I found a new potato pancake recipe and I want him to try it!"

The teen looks so proud of himself. Who could say no to him? Not James, whenever he finds him, obviously!

[unfcrtunatescn]

"I ain't even care, Oscar. At this point I'm fixin' to throw a fit from this heat," It was grossly hot.

"Mercury. You said Yall. Yer slipping dude. Yer getting lost in the sauce."

"Not that I blame you. It's hot enough I could fry an egg on the sidewalk."

[unfcrtunatescn]

"Ya'll, Vacuo is hotter than sin, I'll tell you what,"

[unfcrtunatescn]

"Holy shit, yes,"

"You want this burnt pizza?"

[unfcrtunatescn]

"Okay, I'm feeling unloved,"

[unfcrtunatescn]

Send "Grasp" to grasp my muse's jaw and force them to look your muse in the eye

[unfcrtunatescn]

Eᴠᴇɴ Mᴏʀᴇ Iɴᴄᴏʀʀᴇᴄᴛ Qᴜᴏᴛᴇs Gᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛᴏʀ!

Send in ✏️ and I’ll use this (improved) incorrect quote generator featuring both our muses! (please remember to specify how many muses/which muses for multimuses!)

[unfcrtunatescn]

If they had a kid meme

[unfcrtunatescn]

"I'm so pretty and all I get is struggles. And for what reason? Just give me kisses,"

[unfcrtunatescn]

✰  —  —  —  EVEN MORE POPULAR TEXT POSTS STARTERS

‘  let me just make one thing clear… i have no clue what’s going on, ever, at any moment, at any point in time. who knows what’s going on? not me. not ever.  ’ ‘  i would just like to publicly announce that i have no idea what i am doing  ’ ‘  we came from the same star and we will come together again in the end  ’ ‘  i have a ��why am i like this’ moment at least five times a day  ’ ‘  did i need it? no. did i buy it? yes.  ’ ‘  the most dangerous game is resting your eyes after you turned off the alarm clock in the morning  ’ ‘  petition for stars in the day time please???  ’ ‘  i love it when i wake up and stretch and something cracks. makes me feel like a glo-stick  ’ ‘  drop whatever you’re doing right now and climb a tree  ’ ‘  the most fucked up part of adult life is how you can just decide to do things  ’ ‘  i’m a person who wants to do lots of things trapped inside a body that wants to SLEEP at all times  ’ ‘  i’m so tired but i’ll probably be awake until 3 am for no reason  ’ ‘  time to kick my own ass. bitch had it coming for too long  ’ ‘  honestly ‘thanks i hate it’ is one of the funniest phrases in the english language  ’ ‘  do you ever wonder how many people have loved you and never told you?  ’ ‘  the internets one true talent is making me sick of things i’ve never seen or read or heard  ’ ‘  i’m permanently emotionally damaged but it’s chill, i’m chill  ’ ‘  all cracker barrels are dimensionally linked. you could walk into a cracker barrel in georgia and walk out of one in arkansas and feel nothing  ’ ‘  ‘you look different with makeup’????? you think i’m buying shit for hundreds of dollars to just keep looking like my ugly self … ok  ’ ‘  why did the fray go off so hard in ‘how to save a life’?  ’ ‘  anyone else bummed they have 2 sleep alone tonight and uh not in some1s arms  ’ ‘  not to be too controversial but i like it when people are nice   ’ ‘  the sun has no business tapping out at the tender hour of 5pm bitch i have depression  ’ ‘  i forgot how fucking weird november is theres no afternoon its just night after 2pm  ’ ‘  what time do you need me? i am unavailable whenever that time is  ’ ‘  look i may have made a few typos and committed a few murders but nobody’s perfect okay  ’ ‘  i guess at this point i should just consider dating myself  ’ ‘  i’m aiming for the “she’s a badass and cute as hell but i wouldn’t touch her without asking” look  ’ ‘  haha if you’re bored you could kiss me idk just sayin  ’ ‘  i see you’re paying attention to someone who is not me. why is that.  ’ ‘  80s music wont solve all my life’s problems but it certainly distracts me from them  ’ ‘  i cant believe what walkie talkies are called  ’ ‘  some people think life is like a rollercoaster but my life is more like one of those rides that spin really fast so you’re pinned to the wall and can’t do anything about it  ’ ‘  hey girl do you want to make a fragile human connection in the vast and unfeeling infinity of a chaotic universe  ’ ‘  all these fuckboys but who is the fuckfather  ’ ‘  i love drunk me but i don’t trust her  ’ ‘  do you have those people that you’d go anywhere with unconditionally, like they could say “lets go check out that dumpster” and you’d be like “im in”  ’ ‘  nah sorry i cant go out tonight, i have plans to spiral into uncontrollable anxiety starting in the early evening and ending at roughly 3 am  ’ ‘  me: queen of having had enough  ’ ‘  she needs a hug (i’m she)  ’ ‘  is it acceptable to start an essay with “listen here you little shit”?  ’ ‘  90% of my day is me being nervous  ’ ‘  cons: i’m an asshole. pros: i’m your asshole.  ’ ‘  give me 10 reasons why i shouldn’t just turn into a slug right now  ’ ‘  are we gonna fuckn hold hands tonight or what bitch  ’ ‘  dear soulmate, where the fuck are you  ’ ‘  i’m so easily revitalized by small, loving gestures  ’ ‘  i dont know what im feeling but there is a lot of it  ’ ‘  let’s be friends with benefits. the benefits? you get to be friends with me  ’ ‘  you ever just sit back and think like… yo… i really don’t care  ’ ‘  im surprised no one has ever punched me in the face  ’ ‘  what if mike was short for micycle  ’ ‘  hey fellow regular kids what’s up  ’ ‘  if u ever called me pretty i love you. ur pretty too  ’ ‘  do you ever just ‘there’s probably something medically wrong with me but i’m just gonna ignore it and hope i don’t die’?  ’ ‘  why did we stop building castles? i feel like humanity might live to regret that  ’ ‘  i’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace  ’ ‘  i am so glad you exist, even if you exist so far away from me  ’ ‘  i can hold a wet bar of soap better than a conversation  ’ ‘  she is beauty, she is grace, she got her feelings hurt 42 times today  ’ ‘  13 years of school and im still not sure if its ‘grey’ or ‘gray’  ’ ‘  hope u like bad girls because i’m bad at everything  ’ ‘  got a problem with me? kiss me on the lips dude  ’ ‘  too many songs about love. not enough songs about sword fights  ’ ‘  don’t talk to me or my 78 insecurities ever again  ’ ‘  i just did a tarot reading… it said ur a bitch  ’ ‘  a good substitute for love and fulfillment? a crunchwrap supreme from taco bell  ’ ‘  i fucked up? idk what you’re referring to but probably  ’ ‘  *in a high-pitched mocking voice* “are you okay?” what the fuck.  ’ ‘  how do u just….. not believe in aliens  ’ ‘  a coffee pot can be a coffee mug if you just don’t fucking care  ’ ‘  “you’re up early!” jokes on you i didn’t sleep at all and am in between energized and dying  ’ ‘  dont wanna sound like a slut but i really need a hug right now  ’ ‘  casual fan? no sorry i only know how to invest my whole livelihood into something and spend every waking moment thinking about said thing  ’ ‘  i have a dozen hearts swirling around my head irl like that isnt a filter its permanent  ’ ‘  i worry about you even when you say you’re fine  ’ ‘  i will never hurt you. i will always stick by your side. i will always try to make you smile  ’ ‘  true love: having to hold back your adorable, violent girlfriend to keep her from straight up murdering a dude  ’ ‘  cute date idea: be nice to me  ’ ‘  im so jealous of people who know what they want to do with their future i dont even know what t.v show to watch next  ’ ‘  me? clingy? yes please don’t leave me  ’ ‘  hey….,.,.. no offense but,,. i want someone to love and cherish me  ’ ‘  i need someone to lay in bed with me for hours  ’ ‘  dark hannah montana….. show me the worst of both worlds  ’ ‘  someone has to say it: come on eileen is a fucking banger like that shit snaps,, a bop for the century  ’ ‘  roses are red, i’m going to bed  ’ ‘  bless netflix for creating the skip intro button honestly  ’ ‘  they call me… 7 Knives. because that’s how many knives it takes me to cook things because i keep puttin em in the fuckin sink without thinking about it  ’ ‘  i wanna burry my face in someone’s chest right now til i fall asleep and wake up 4 hours later just to find i’m still in their arms  ’ ‘  the internet has ruined me honestly i’m numb to everything. it could be the end of the world and i’d be like “tag urself i’m the acid rain”  ’ ‘  lately i have been…….dying to be in love…,..and that’s the mood sadly  ’ ‘  not to be ns fw but i’d cry if someone kissed me on the cheek  ’ ‘  sexting? nah. i’m into spexting. spooky texting. ever seen a ghost? hmu.  ’ ‘  not to sound cocky as shit but i’m a fucking good person with a big heart and i deserve a lot more than the shitty hand life has dealt me this far  ’ ‘  i say i love you a lot because i do  ’ ‘  i’m sorry. i can’t come to the phone right now? why? oh. cause i hate talking on the phone please text me instead.  ’ ‘  low on self esteem, so u run on mac & cheese  ’ ‘  who’s gonna come lay with me in bed and let me wrap my legs and arms around u like a small bear  ’ ‘  youre a coward if youre not on the way to my house right now to give me a kiss  ’ ‘  my personality is like 90% the song i’m currently listening to  ’ ‘  the first step to any murder is to have fun and be yourself  ’ ‘  no offense @ life but can i have a breath.. a break… some slack…  ’ ‘  the best kind of alcohol is a lot  ’ ‘  911 i hate to be “that guy” but i glued myself to the ceiling again  ’ ‘  having “feelings” is ruining my reputation of being a heartless bitch  ’

[unfcrtunatescn]

"Are you bullying me cause I'm barely literate, concussed, or need glasses? I need clarification cause I was in an explosion like two hours ago, Blonde,"

"Words are harder to read than normal. I either have a concussion again or need glasses,

[unfcrtunatescn]

"Words are harder to read than normal. I either have a concussion again or need glasses,

[unfcrtunatescn]

Day three, dance/date! Jaune meets a strange boy in the club...... :]

[unfcrtunatescn]

unfortunately i only had the time for one caduceus drawing, so i followed the prompt for day 6 of caduceus week, healing/scars! theres nothing like tenderly kissing your homie’s hand as you heal him <3

[unfcrtunatescn]

have you considered them today

[unfcrtunatescn]

I wonder what they’re talking about.

I was in a Emercald City Retro mood. 

[unfcrtunatescn]

Jaune: ... You ever notice how nice Mercury's thighs are?

Emerald: of course I have.

Jaune: ...

Emerald: ...

Emerald: You didn't mean to say that out loud, did you?

Jaune: Nope. Same for you?

Emerald: Yep. We're never bringing this up again?

Jaune: Sounds good to me.