unexpressedwords

[unexpressedwords]

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

If I were to lovingly describe you, my dear, you would be a book called "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen. This is not because of the significance of these two words but because you are the definition of the world inside the book itself. If I were to describe you, you are the setting that I love in the early 19th-century era. The grass is much greener, the structure of mansions and castles, the dukes and duchess, the balls for socialites, the clothes and dresses and cosmetics that perfectly describe the power of aesthetics, the hierarchy between the rich and the poor, and which no technology existed, just love letters as an exchange of communication. And then, If I were to describe myself, I would be Lizzie. A woman who was firm with her words and impressions yet melted on the spot as soon as she realized she was being irrational. A Prejudiced woman per se. Chaos is trembling within her heart. Yet loves Mr. Darcy so dearly that shook her soul. A woman who is lucky to have him. I can feel her sincerity towards him, so tenderly, so honestly. If you were Mr. Darcy, would you do the same, my love? His love was deep as soon as they met at that ball. His stares defined his intention with Elizabeth. He lovingly looked at her despite their differences. Even when Lizzie rejected his marriage proposal out of misconception. Still, He was insanely in love with her. Which I am to you. If we were to meet in another life, would we be these characters from a book? In which the author wrote with a happy ending? Would there be peace in my heart to reach out my love to you? If I were given an option, would I be able to choose you again in another universe? Strangers to friends, friends into lovers, and never strangers just lovers? If yes, you bewitched me, body and soul I love... I love you most ardently.

[unexpressedwords]

The Way You Walk Me Into Your World.

Dreams, was it? But I saw the glitters of the universe. The magnifying heavenly bodies; dancing above my head. I couldn't help but stare at them. Traces of its bags of dust, the smell of stagnant air, the enveloping warmth of the atmosphere, and the gravity that pulls me closer to the unknown entity. Anxious about the untold but thinking of the beauty it showed, there was you.

You held my damaged heart like a piece of glass, a piece of glass that reflects a prism of colors whose puzzle is yet to be solved.

You tried connecting difficult constellations in my worn-out heart, whose hanging in a thread and about to drown.

You caught the only flickering firefly on that summer night, which no one ever noticed. Not a single campfire illuminated the whole place as you cannot separate a fire, from a flame that already burns.

The way you walked me into your world is like a castle that continuously showed me the ethereal being of this world that I have never discovered. Bigger forest sometimes scary but calming, a bed of flowers blooming healthily in the Autumn season.

The way you walked me into your world is like your secret hideout base that no one knows. Where you plot the treasure map that leads to that very treasure trove but might lead you a decade to find it. Yet you were patient

The way you walked me into your world is like a fairytale ending, which radiates each chapter with magic and thrill, which gives a sense of security where I can live inside your heart and you carry me wherever you go.

The way you walked me into your world is like rolling old movie tapes under a little tent we made out of bedsheets. Where we set up a string of lights to set up the ambiance of the place as if it is a scattered star in our very own universe.

The way you walked me into your world is like showing my nakedness. Not the way I strip my clothes or show my bare skin in front of you, it is the art of vulnerability as my walls have fallen down to that gentle voice of yours. 40 feet off my ground.

The way you walked me into your world was like your favorite hot coffee on rainy days or your comfy cardigan that you never get rid of because you always keep it with you.

The way you walked me into your world is like a song that I usually listen to, walking home from school. A mixture of that tangerine color and a tone of coral pink with clouds just painted messily on the canvas.

Because the way you walked me into your world was love.

[unexpressedwords]

DECAY

A few more steps on a sharp glasses, will leave oxygen from my body. Not caring of how much blood it drained from my feet.

1 step, 2 steps, 3 steps at a time.

Little by little, the scars became laceration making it more sensitive to walk on to.

The open wound gushes another liter of blood, the second it was bruised, the minute it was sore, an hour it became numb.

Unsure of where should I go, I continued walking again, not caring how much it would cost me. Yet unfortunately, It costed my soul, a fragile soul I sold to the devil.

The devil smiled down upon my gracious desires, as the universe laughed in amusement for my soul's lighting candle which was slowly burning out it's own self. The eyes from the heavens took down pressure on me.

Kill me

Scratching the itchiness from my throat, the scars started forming all over my neck the bits of my skin stuck inside the spaces of my fingernails.

Help is the only thing I could utter and think at this moment. I rolled my eyes in despair. Reaching out to that glimmering hope at the end of the tunnel.

I ran again, but this time I couldn't feel my feet anymore as I slowly saw a crying figure in front of me yet it stopped when it felt my presence, the figure started zooming in my peripheral vision.

I cried of how much angelic the broken figure was, it was filled with withered rose thorns, a face of lifeless human very much similar to a face that I lost along my journey at this point.

I have reached the end. I screamed in pain, as my time is slowly consuming the receipt from the devil themselves.

I crawled to that figure giving all my strength to chase the lost piece.

For a fool as I am. Memories started to flooding like cold water, which

I swam until the deepest.

This figure... This is me.

Its wings were torn apart; plucked from it's healthy feathers down to its roots, by the one they loved. Got betrayed for the majestic wings was for it was a lover's gift to the affair. How wonderful the pain it became.

and here the figure lies its last breath.

"My piece, my dearest piece... for a long time I seek on what you've become. My love you died." I croaked from screaming not caring how much the poisonous the thorns it envelops the poor body. I left it consumed me.

Time's up.

And then the devil's magical snap decayed me.

[unexpressedwords]

Slow Dancing in the Dark

I've experienced a looped relationship. I can't feel anything, I just feel numb without any progress. My desire to be wanted and to feel the warmth of my lover's physical touch can ease this desperate numbing of my frozen heart.

With my old vinyl record, I put the stylus onto my recorder as it played the ever-so-sweet song, it may have been a quiet crackle between the song because of the recorder, but the music was euphoric and was almost an escape from the nostalgic memories that had me suffering for the past few months.

The song was majestic.

I gestured for a dancing position imagining I was with a male partner and glided my feet together forming a box step, which I learned from our ballroom classes in high school. I keep turning, twisting my body as if there was support leading me to be in my graceful disguise. Sweat just dripped below my nape, ignoring those sensations as I continued my dance routine.

I started to feel the pressure on my feet, it was the signal of stopping the nonsensical dance. This was different, I had never felt this way before.

For almost 30 minutes the song on the vinyl record is on loop, which I didn't bother to stop.

It just hit me... I just hit the rock bottom of this emotion as my tears started trickling wanting to be released from my eyes.

Without holding back, I cried silently with my looping distorted song. These tears were endless, my heart is sinking almost not letting me to breathe for air.

When was it again? How long has it been since I have felt the shivers down my spine and experienced the thrill ride taking me to love avenue?

How long has it been since I've been feeling this way?

I wonder when did things go wrong? All of this confusion is so overwhelming.

My heart is stuck in my throat. I badly want to throw up.

This song healed me... I slowly danced in an empty room with the music, elegantly, gracefully, beautifully and all the good things.

My heart started aching again remembering the same things we did with each other all the sweet things.

With these pieces that cannot be returned to their original place. How can I love again? How can I open my heart to someone? Can I go back again where it used to be

The door gently creaked as you entered the room while I was hugging myself, you called my name ever so gently and lent a hand. I looked up at your smile and immediately sobbed after reaching into your sweet embrace.

I love you...

Your breath was so close to my neck, but it was so nice to hear the silence and the warmth I'm receiving from you in this cold room.

[unexpressedwords]

Like a dream [夢のように]

Uki x Sonny (fanfiction)

Stumbling into the unknown of darkness, they stood still at that very moment and saw their usual place. As if the whole universe is filled with sparkling bits of dust. Just the two of them. The woods were too strong to identify which direction they ran off. But not too far from their car. The taller guy lends out his hand to offer the latter some help in climbing a small hill they found.

He might've wanted to refuse his offer. Yet no one is there to watch. No one will be judged. Uki smiled timidly and thankfully grabbed unto the arms of his man. The guy let out a small chuckle as both of their skin came in contact. They both know they got electrocuted by their own desires. It can be seen in their eyes and through the beats of their hearts. Once the blonde guy reached Uki's hand he grabbed him down and off they go to the ground. "What the fuck, Sonny-" Uki blurted the curses because he was too stunned by what happened. Now he's on top of the gullible sunshine, who's smiling foolishly.

Sonny hugged Uki. "I can finally hug you freely like this. No one is looking, right? Then I can do whatever I want with you Uki." He whispered while sniffing the latter's neck, exactly where Uki's beauty mark is placed. "S-sonny where are you sniffing...This-!" "No, please don't stop me. I have been holding back these past few weeks."

"But-" Uki replied in disbelief. But Sonny's eyes were expectant; anticipating that the guy in his arms will agree to whatever he'll say.

"Hear me out, Sonny, the road ahead of us is just too impossible to reach; I don't even know what will happen all the way on our journey. I'm a coward, and that's obvious. But even if I'm like this, will you still accept me?" Uki's words meant a lot to both of them he just found himself in an unexpected relationship with the one he love.

Sonny's eyes sparkled. "Pfft- what are you saying. I love you, Uki Violeta. You captured every single thing in me, you took my breath away from this world full of chaos, you are my star, my worl-"

"Alright! Alright... Geez, aren't you embarrassed saying those to me boldly? God..." Uki paused for a moment still looking away, all flushed in light red. Sonny immediately cut the silence between them. "Look at me. D-do you love me too?" Sonny's face is pure red from his own words, and his cheeks were hot through his ears you can see his embarrassment. Instead of melting on the spot, he locked eyes with the man he loves and eventually brushed off the icky shyness with a loving smile.

Uki was starstruck at Sonny's face, his lips froze as his mind became blank. The purple-haired guy gently caressed Sonny's face and titled his head. "Took you too long to notice dumbass." His body moved on its own.

His lips tasted like honey. A sweet, sweet flavor of nectar he harvested and owned.

"I love you too Sonny."

Under the starry sky, they made a history that only both of them knew. Bodies twisting and turning in a bed of grass, their vision was blurry and pure psychedelic as if they drank a whole bottle of aphrodisiac. The definition of love.

"Sonny..." Uki gasped for the last time calling his man's name. The guy who was focused on exploring the submissive's body left a bite mark on his neck mole. Like Uki did the last time. "You are mine and mine alone okay? I won't let anyone steal you, Uki Violeta" Sonny's voice was filled with authority and possessiveness. Continuing where they left off, the stars shone brightly on that very night their only audience that watching them. It was a bliss, a pure heaven they have reached on their own.

---

Both of them brushed off the grass from their body and returned to the car.

No one uttered a single word. Silence filled the ambiance. Only the sound of the car engine.

They can't go back to what they were before. This was the last moment of their lives, because once they go home, the cannot each other nor see each other again.

It was their last.

Sonny who was driving the car crept his hand on Uki's hand and interlocked it with his. He held it for a long time and kissed it.

Their expression says it all.

Agony.

As soon as they arrived at their destination, The younger slowly parked in front of the mansion as both of them got out of the car,

Uki placed his hand on his neck where the bite was. Reminiscing on what they did for the final time.

They both smiled at who was waiting on both of them, their parents greeted them cheerfully because both of their sons are getting along.

---

Like a dream, a dream they should wake up and go back to where things belong.

The painful reality. The reality they refuse to believe in.

A forbidden yet sweet one but there draws a line.

As blood is thicker than water.

[unexpressedwords]

OUT OF TIME (PART 2)

Ka-ching!

That's the sound of the cash register which can only be heard cutting the awkward ambiance of the coffee shop.

"Haa..." Uki sighed as he was counting the total sales for the coffee shop. As his shift is about to end, he grabbed the cleaning materials and started sweeping the floor, wiped windows, and the table. He rests his chin on the tip of the mop's handle and started to think what are his plans for tomorrow.

The manager of the coffee shop returned from taking out the trash, was smiling warmly upon seeing Uki pouting in some corner of the room while cleaning.

"Yahoo Uki~! You've been sighing a lot lately. Is there something wrong? I also noticed that you're looking tired even before your shift started." His cheery tone snapped Uki into reality, realizing he's been thinking for nothing.

"Ah- Alban-tenchou... I'm fine." He replied timidly. Then he started grabbing all the cleaning utensils and returned them to the storage room as he was finished, he immediately went to the staff's room to change his uniform. Alban follows him and leans on the side of the door as if he was blocking his way.

"Y'know Uki, it feels like you're stressed with something that I don't know about. I appreciate you for helping my coffee shop and being such a good employee. I couldn't ask for more to be honest." He paused for a while and looked at Uki who was changing still not paying attention to what he was saying. Alban walked inside the room and sat down at the nearest chair he could find.

"I know it's something you can't talk about. But if you're feeling sick we have few staffs that can cover so don't hesitate to–"

"I'm! I'm fine really..." He smiled sourly at the poor manager. Uki cannot think of anything on what to say. If Alban keeps prying, he might say things that he'll regret later.

Uki grabbed his bags and bowed to the manager as an expression of "Good work".

"Tenchou! The package just arrived, where should I put this? Wow wow! Look at this vanilla syrup." The guy with the blonde hair called him in an enthusiastic tone.

"O-oh! Yes, let me help you, Sonny!"

---

"I guess I was a little harsh on him earlier... Should I buy him sweets or something? Or some coffee? Stupid Uki, Alban had enough of coffee from his samples!" He mumbled while walking on a busy street.

The breeze of the wind is pretty cold for a Spring Season. Orange with a tint of red— covered the atmosphere more like perfect weather for strolling. The aesthetic of the streets made it even better. Uki took out his phone and captured the breathtaking moment. Immediately, a smile plastered on his face upon receiving the satisfaction just by appreciating the scenery he had seen.

---

He arrived at his comfort place. Yes, the bookstore he is visiting every day after his work. For a person like Uki, it's no doubt that he loves spending his time and money on the books of his choice. Without any judgment, expectations, loneliness, or unfairness. Uki can be himself when he reads.

Clink~

The sudden jingle of the bookstore's bell welcomed him. He slightly tiptoed out of excitement as he can feel the chills coming on his way.

The attention of people caught the glimpse of his presence. Their mouths hung open as soon as they saw an ethereal figure walking inside the store.

Lips plump with the little bit of curve on the edge when he smiles, his heterochromatic eyes sparkle as soon as he caught a glimpse of every masterpiece he's familiar with, and his slender model figure captivated most of the people inside.

---

To be continued...

[unexpressedwords]

OUT OF TIME (Part 1)

He drinks another glass of water.

Again.

Again.

and again. Then the last gulp...

As soon it trickles down his throat, he hyperventilates once again. He grabs the 50th paper bag he has in his cupboard to breathe all the oxygen he can to prevent himself from vomiting.

Unfortunately.

It didn’t work, all the drinking and breathing...

He put his hand on the sink in front of him and started vomiting he thought was blood.

No. Roses.

Petals coming out from his mouth. He eventually let himself be carried on what he felt at that moment. All the anxiousness, frustrations, and the pain that was clenching inside his heart, was gone in just a single vomit.

“Shit.” He cursed softly. Staring at the sink filled with roses and blood, his legs started to melt like jelly, as he sank into the floor hugging both of his knees.

Shivering, with lifeless eyes he whispered... “I thought, I was going to die...”

---

Uki knew from the moment he was born, he wasn't normal like everyone else. He tried becoming one but his goals were too far to be achieved. The poor boy just wanted attention from their parents just like any other kid does. But his family does the opposite, he was pressured to do formal etiquette, study 24/7, learn how to sing, dance, play instruments, sword fight, horseback riding and etc.

Due to ideals and principles that were pushed on him, he was diagnosed with an unusual disease called "Hanahaki". Hanahaki disease is a rare disease that only 20% of the population in their country suffers from it. It is where the carrier coughs out flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It will only disappear completely if their beloved returns the carrier's, romantic love or when the carrier dies.

The disease will only be cured temporarily through surgery and through suppressant pills specifically only for the Hanahaki. When the pills are consumed or abused by a person who is not diagnosed with the said disease, he/she might be poisoned, experience cardiac arrest or worst die due to uncalled circumstances.

But since Uki has been carrying it since he was born, hungry for the love of his family and friends, he was abandoned as soon as they found out that he was diagnosed with a "disgusting" (as they like to call it) illness.

They didn't want their own bloodline to suffer or be affected, that's why they kicked the young man from their house, changed his name, gave him a whole new identity, and cut him off completely from the family as if he was just some kind of stranger.

Because he was disowned at a very young age, they agreed that they will give him his own apartment, provide financial support and good education. Once he reached his legal age, his family stopped supporting him and made him stand in his own shoes, and shuts him off completely.

And on that day forward, Uki was alone.

He never felt what it's like to be loved and to love.

Until he met someone who changed him completely.

---

To be continued...