unemployed-skin

[unemployed-skin]

please don't have sex in disabled bathrooms if you're abled. we need somewhere to have sex too

[unemployed-skin]

many people assuming the tardis faked the coffee thing in wild blue yonder to send donna and 14 on an adventure but honestly I can't help but think she genuinely crashed right into the scariest situation possible, immediately panicked and ran off, and then spent 5,000 years peacefully idling on a nice beach somewhere before going "wait, I fORGOT THE DOCTOR AND DONNA"

[unemployed-skin]

In Bilbo's defense, I, too, would have been quite upset if a person I just met invited 13 strangers to my house without telling me, and they all started rearranging my house while eating literally every speck of food I have in my kitchen, then came up with a song on the fly poking fun at me and how strict I'm being.

[unemployed-skin]

im re-reading the hobbit and its so funny

Gandalf: “thorin your dad wanted me to give this to you when i found him in a necromancers dungeon”

Thorin: “why were you in a necromancers dungeon”

Gandalf : “dont worry about that”

[unemployed-skin]

Young dwarf Thorin

[unemployed-skin]

Everyone in porno has a cute pink little asahole with no hair or hemorrhoids. A perfect little baby starfish. Not me. My asshole is a craggy PIT

[unemployed-skin]

i buried a sword my f*ther made in my back yard YEARS ago and i live on a large plot of land and i can’t for the fucking life of me remember where, is anyone out here psychic enough to point me in the right direction, i’m getting exhausted and can only dig so many fucking holes in a day. yes i’m being serious, i want the fucking sword back

[unemployed-skin]

“Good Omens Season 2 will be quiet, and gentle, and romantic.”

[unemployed-skin]

id suck the tattoos right off that guy

[unemployed-skin]

an ice cold beer topped with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. lying on top of the ice cream foam is a salted peanut. this is the angel. around him are sprinkles (his tears). this is "the angel's lament", my new cocktail

[unemployed-skin]

[unemployed-skin]

[unemployed-skin]

if your country has or could have commuter trains would you take a train to a destination cooly without thinking much of it OR would you play it a little coy whenever the train shows up to the platform and flashes open its sexy little doors at you yearning for your attention for you to fall into its mouth but you look away seemingly uninterested and as it closes its doors defeated and leaves the station and you catch a glimpse of all the seats and handles and even tables in some compartments and as it pulls away you allow yourself to shudder with pleasure at the sound of the engine and you think about what it would be like to get consumed by this megafaunal steel block so you show up to the station day after day never quite getting onto the train but giving it just enough teasing to build the tension between you and this 500 ton beast of steel and plastic and you want to be trapped like a little fly inside its maw and explore its teeth and throat and trachea and into its stomach and feel yourself dissolve into the walls and become one with it but that can't happen just yet maybe it can never happen and it certainly cant be of your own volition to step in and get swallowed because whats important to you is that the chase never ends whats important is that it can never catch you or else the fun is over it can never stuff you into its jaws because its locked into a destiny of eternal edging unless you give it release and you stand at its precipice with its teeth and tongue and lips slick with oily salivation but you never quite fall no matter how much the poor trapped train flaps its stupid pathetic flimsy doors and coaxes you with the desperate voice inside the cabin announcing arrivals and departures no what really gets you off is the cruelty of it all the way you can burden it with human desires far beyond its own capacity to form them the way you can transform its dutiful burden of carrying passengers to and fro into a frustrating hateful drive of pleasure and you hope that one day it'll slide off its steel guides and finally squish you like the bug you are like a little defenseless prey-thing so naughty for having teased it for so long you want utter annihilation at the hands of a great big nasty oily puffing charging engine with no care for its own life just solely wholly focused on getting you in, on, or around it and you want to make sure both you and the train become so twisted by the chase that the pleasure awaiting you at the destination can no longer be distinguished from the pain of the journey and the hedonism just keeps adapting to baser and baser wishes until sex and death are a singular simultaneous yearning? which one would you pick

[unemployed-skin]

"rise and grind" okay uhhh rest and jest. bitch

[unemployed-skin]

[unemployed-skin]

[unemployed-skin]

hey patrick can you see my feet