My name is Des. I am 28. Gay. U.S. My last cut was: 11/25/2018 My last attempt was: 3/21/16 My last drink was: 11/02/2018
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Wanting to go home when home is no longer a place but a person hurts.
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Rainer Maria Rilke, Rilke’s Book of Hours
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I wanted her to miss me and she does, but I need her to be in love with me like I am her, to beg for me to be with her, but she never will. And I am fucking miserable and I wish I could sleep and never wake up.
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“An alcoholic who believes drinking will work “this time” is in the grip of insanity. I can’t reason with insanity.”
— my lovely sponsor
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“The other thing about depression
Is it kind of collapses time...
Suddenly, you find your whole days blending together to create one endless
And suffocating loop.
So, you find yourself trying to remember
The things that made you happy.
But slowly, your brain begins to erase
Every memory that ever brought you joy.
And eventually,
All you can think about is how life has always been this way.
And will always continue to be this way.”
-Euphoria: Episode 1.7
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and the girl I love the most
to my mom and dad
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