undeadsourpatchkid

[undeadsourpatchkid]

[undeadsourpatchkid]

Your straight male friends after two beers: "Hgey man can I smell your hair"

Your friend with the haunted shamisen: [plucks a baleful chord of ill portent]

[undeadsourpatchkid]

hey sorry for getting really pissy at you earlier because I could hear you chewing. see I have a condition called [remembers pathologizing my behavior is unhelpful] it's actually because I hate you, specifically,

[undeadsourpatchkid]

[undeadsourpatchkid]

me, eating a pile of nuts, cheese, and apple: mmmm tasty

the medieval peasant in my head watching me eat: thou knowst what would MAKETH this meal? dried fruits.

me, getting out the raisins: god damn, etheldred, you are SO right

the medieval peasant in my head: yet thou art still not heeding mine words regarding the blasphemy

[undeadsourpatchkid]

I think there's something to be said that saying the words "Deny, Defend, Depose, you're next" to an insurance sales rep can get you arrested for 'threats of mass homicide' or whatever with a threat of 15 years in prison

But when I was a manager in a fast food restaurant I've had customers throw food at me, demand for my personal phone number with an added threat of "Well I'll just have to FIND it", customers charging past the front counter to physically intimidate me and my coworkers, screaming and swearing, demands to know what time I get out of work, demands to know when my manager would be at work as a threat, people sitting in their car waiting for me to finish closing because they were angry at me, causing me to stay in the office watching the camera waiting for them to drive away...

But none of those incidents are arrest-able offenses, not one, any time I called the cops on any customer I would just hear excuses like " "there isn't anything illegal about calling a restaurant", that nothing physical happened and therefore there's nothing they could do, to call back and let them know if anything else happens

Idk, just think it's A TEENY TINY BIT ODD

Cop in the news goes "words have consequences" as if people don't berate and threaten fast food and retail workers every day

[undeadsourpatchkid]

Love seeing something from TikTok and going “girlie that is literally what led to the downfall of the Papal States”

[undeadsourpatchkid]

guys I got too attached to the sacrificial lamb again :( yeah I let myself pet its soft little head and care for it forgetting that I would be its undoing again. yeah I witnessed the unconditional love and trust in its innocent eyes even as I held the blade to its throat and set it free again. sorry :((

[undeadsourpatchkid]

[undeadsourpatchkid]

my wife and I saw you from across the roundtable and we liked your sniveling pathetic vibe and wanted to invite you to our castle to wage a slow psychosexual war on you

[undeadsourpatchkid]

my name is Freak Fucker and, well, I won’t waste your time…I’m here to fuck your freak.

[undeadsourpatchkid]

my name is Freak Fucker and, well, I won’t waste your time…I’m here to fuck your freak.

[undeadsourpatchkid]

my name is Freak Fucker and, well, I won’t waste your time…I’m here to fuck your freak.

[undeadsourpatchkid]

Portland is always moving the culture forward

[undeadsourpatchkid]

"ingredients you can pronounce" "all natural" "organic" "no chemicals"

[undeadsourpatchkid]

The plague doctors that the media has made really is the pinnacle of clothing. and its so sad to see what actual plague doctors were like

[undeadsourpatchkid]

Ilsa von Bulow of Women of Sodom, photographed by Michael Barkavy 𖤐