undeadkenny

[undeadkenny]

@pacificanrthwst

Kenny had noticed her during the first week he started at Gusteau’s — the gorgeous blonde who was totally out of his league. He could only assume she was rich, because most customers at this restaurant were, not to mention she gave off that vibe just from a first glance. Kenny didn’t particularly struggle when it came to flirting, but he'd never tried to shoot his shot with anyone super wealthy before. At the end of the day, he still saw himself as the poor kid from Colorado, just like he always was. He could practically hear his friends voices from back home in his head: “Dude, she’d never go for a poor son of a bitch like you. Don’t even get your hopes up.” Even if he wanted to though, the chance never arose to talk to her; he was still training at his new job, and he knew better than to screw up when he needed the money for his new place. 

Lucky for him, she returned just a few months later. He’d almost forgotten about her, but Kenny recognized her immediately. The only downside was this time, rather than being there with what he assumed to be her parents, she was there with another guy. Shit, did she have a boyfriend? Kenny had to clean the table beside where the two were seated, and he couldn’t help but overhear the conversation between them.

“Pacifica, I’m not gonna pretend to be your boyfriend, even if you paid me. Your parents would never believe it if we tried,” Dipper responded to Pacifica without hesitation. If the twin had known this was why the blonde brought him to Gusteau’s, he probably would’ve saved her the trip and texted her a simple no instead. He was smart enough to think through this clearly, but perhaps Pacifica was desperate enough to not think clearly enough. 

Dipper didn’t notice Kenny cleaning the table beside them, who was still listening. Kenny perked up as he heard something about a pretend boyfriend. So they weren’t together, but she was proposing a fake dating scenario. And offering the guy money for it. Kenny couldn’t help but turn his head toward them in interest, waiting for the perfect opportunity to chime in as if he’d been part of the conversation all along. 

“I could pretend to be your boyfriend,” Kenny offered, causing Dipper to instantly turn toward the guy in pure confusion. He’d never seen this guy before, taking in his appearance and noticing the smudges and stains on his work uniform from cleaning tables. There was no way Pacifica would listen to this guy, right?

“What?” Dipper asked, trying to process whether he was serious or not. Kenny assumed he didn’t hear him (that was a common occurrence), so he paused what he was doing and took a few steps closer to their table. “I heard you need a fake boyfriend,” he repeated, turning his attention to the blonde. Damn, she was way hotter up close. “You need a fake boyfriend, and I need some money,” he shrugged, ignoring Dipper’s bewildered stare. There would obviously be more perks than just the money, like getting to know who she was, but he didn't want to come off too desperate and miss out on this. “Maybe we could both help each other out?"

[undeadkenny]

Name: Kenny McCormick Age: 24 Height: 6'0 Pronouns: Any (in fact call him a princess while you're at it) Sexuality: Bisexual Occupation: Busser at Gusteau's Zodiac: Aries sun, Gemini moon, Leo rising Faceclaim: Rudy Pankow

TW: alcohol, drugs, death & suicide mention

Description

Kenny grew up as one of the poorest kids in his hometown of South Park, Colorado. He is the middle child in his family, and despite being much closer to his little sister than his older brother, he was still protective of both siblings. Their parents were alcoholics and drug addicts, who even used their home as a meth lab to make extra cash and continue to fuel their addictions. The three kids ended up in foster care at one point due to neglect, but it was only temporary, and they somehow ended up back home again eventually. 

Unlike his brother Kevin, Kenny had a tendency to ignore what was happening in their house. While Kevin would constantly fight with their parents, escapism was more of Kenny’s coping skill, mostly hanging out with friends at their homes or focusing on other, better things like girls or video games. However, the truth was that Kenny had bigger things to worry about and escape from than his parents making terrible life choices. He couldn’t die. 

Well, that wasn’t entirely true — he could die, and that was the problem. Kenny experienced death over and over and over again, but he always woke up in bed the next day as if nothing had happened. He could recall every death and even remember how it felt, but no one else remembered. His experiences with death were always different, including the ways he died (hit by cars, gunshots, explosions, illnesses, and many other horrible ways) and what he'd see before waking up again (a white light, heaven, and sometimes even hell). There were a few moments where his friends seemed to remember him dying, but they’d eventually forget again, going back to normal as if nothing ever happened. Kenny even tried to get them to remember once by killing himself to prove a point, but he still ended up right back where he started, with none of his friends remembering.

Kenny’s immortality may sound cool in theory, but the reality was that it was beginning to weigh heavily on his mental health. It didn’t help that he was also growing tired of his life in South Park, always being the butt end of the joke from his friends because he was poor and often getting left out of things because of it. In the end though, it was his sister Karen that he stuck around for the most, making sure she was protected and taken care of since he knew their parents were neglectful. When Karen graduated from high school, Kenny finally felt ready to get the hell out of his hometown. He’d been researching where he should go, and that’s when he came across Destiny Isle and learned about the magic that resided there. He hoped that he could possibly find some answers to his immortality, or meet people who face similar hardships as him with his ability, so he said goodbye to his childhood friends and moved to Destiny Isle. He was just as broke as ever and knew no one at his new home, but he thankfully got a bussing job at Gusteau’s to keep him afloat and meet some new people.

Headcanons

Kenny has a secret superhero identity, Mysterion, that he uses to help people in need. He used it a lot to help his sister, but now that he’s left South Park, he doesn’t anticipate continuing his double life. Will Destiny Isle need Mysterion and his immortality abilities, or can he just attempt to live a normal life for once? 

He grew up wearing an oversized orange parka for years since his parents could hardly afford new clothes for the kids, and it often muffled what he was saying since it covered so much of his face. He got used to others not understanding him, and sometimes he still mumbles out of habit

Had a theory at one point that his parka was cursed and that was why he was constantly dying and coming back, but that was quickly proven false when he died as Mysterion without the parka

He was always known as the horn dog of his friend group and would make stupid jokes all the time about sex and other inappropriate stuff. Kenny was the first of his friends to be interested in girls and is a known flirt. He doesn’t really struggle when it comes to getting into new relationships because others can see how empathetic and caring he is, always putting others first

His best friend was always Eric Cartman, but truthfully he always felt bad for Eric. No one wanted to be his friend because he was a problematic asshole. Eric would make fun of Kenny the most out of anyone for being poor, but Kenny knew that Eric was almost just as poor as he was, so he was likely projecting and taking the attention away from his own poverty. The good news is Kenny has thick skin thanks to being Cartman’s friend for so many years 

Has been arrested a few times in the past

He had a terrible habit of being self-destructive as a kid when he was bored, like hitting his head against a wall or desk while taking tests in school, or even chewing on his own hand

He has also fallen into other bad habits in the past, including drug use. He took his escapism a little too far with drugs, but thankfully his friends showed genuine concern and helped Kenny 

He doesn’t have a smartphone but instead has a basic flip phone. Not that he’s never had a smartphone before — he had an iPhone but he sold it to help pay for the move to Destiny Isle

He moved into an old studio that isn’t the best and needs a lot of work done, but he doesn’t mind because of the cheap rent. He’s used to living that way anyway, considering what his childhood home was like 

Has an orange cat he brought with him from South Park that he named Fish Stick. The cat would always hang around his family’s house, so Kenny eventually kept him. When he couldn’t afford to get more cat food he would feed him fish sticks which is where the name came from (not realizing his friends would call the cat Fish Dicks until it was too late to think of a better name)

ISTP

[undeadkenny]

Rudy Pankow appreciation post

[undeadkenny]

[undeadkenny]

Soooo I watched the Barbie movie