unapolme

[unapolme]

Feeling funny today

[unapolme]

esoteric form of roleplay where instead of actually roleplaying you just make up characters together and discuss in abstract how they'd interact and how their story would go

[unapolme]

.:

[unapolme]

[unapolme]

a fascinating new addition to tumblr's christmas pantheon

[unapolme]

hi im una, 22/they/them. i didn't want to understand tumblr for a decade but here i am now. i am gonna shitpost about my ocs and media and aint nobody gonna stop me

i am a writer/roleplayer hobbyist. i write too many words and i am full of angst beyond angst.

i pretty much exclusively write OCs and i strongly prefer cyberpunk/scifi stuff. i also dabble in weird ghost horror. i do *not* write nsfw stuff. i just don't enjoy it.

if you let me infodump ill never shut the fuck up

all of my ocs are stupid, traumatized, or both

i think ocs by nature carry pieces of their writer with them. i try to write them as if they aren't blank slates influenced by me designed to fulfill my desires, but rather as people who are real in the scope of the world they live in. their experiences are their life, informing their existences and personalities.

im edgy basically

[unapolme]

The batfam trauma candy salad would go absolutely insane.

Dick: Hi. I'm Dick Grayson and when I was 8 I watched my parents fall to their death in front of me, then I had to move away from everything I love and spend the rest of my life in some weird American city. And I brought the sour gummy worms.

Jason: This is so stupid- my mother used to kick me out when he drug dealer would come over so I didn't see her spending our very small amount of money on drugs.

Steph *off screen*: what did you bring?

Jason: nerds.

Cass: I was raised to be a weapon, a murderer. I brought peach rings.

Steph: I'm Steph and My dad was an alcoholic who thought he could go head to head with batman and outdo the riddler. And I brought Reese's pieces.

Tim: I'm Timothy Drake Wayne and I had left the house to try and find some guy before he killed my dad, just for him to kill my dad when I was gone. I brought sour rainbow strips.

Duke: My parents are in a mental ward, high on joker toxin. No one knows if they'll ever get better. And I got m&m's.

Damian: I am a highly trained assassin and-

Steph: cut. Cut. Damian. Civilian identities. Ok. Restart.

Damian: My mother randomly dropped me on some weird man's doorstep when I was ten. I brought rock candy.

[unapolme]

Headcanon that since Jason can’t go out with his family publicly, what he does instead is show up in random disguises.

Bruce is chatting up some socialites at a gala, talking about the joys of fatherhood and how rewarding it is. Meanwhile he made eye contact with Jason disguised as a waiter twenty minutes ago, and is currently trying to stop his eye from twitching.

Dick is speaking to a third grade class as a part of the Bludhaven Police department outreach program, except when he walks in Jason is sitting behind the teachers desk, playing the role of substitute.

Babs can’t help but stare when Jason hands her a coffee from behind the counter of her favorite coffee shop. (His name tag reads Peter, and for a second she thinks she’s actually lost it).

Tim walks into Wayne Towers one day and on his way in, he waves to his secretary- lo and behold Marjorie has been replaced by Jason. It takes him three hours to notice.

Cass walks into ballet class to discover her teacher had to take a sick day- his replacement is Jason in a beret who talks in a terrible French accent the entire class, only to drop it at the very end to talk in a thick New Jersey accent. Her entire class talks about it for weeks.

Stephanie hails a cab on her way home one night, only to find Jason driving. She’s not sure how he pulled it off or how he got a cab, but her mind is effectively blown.

Duke is on a school trip to the natural history museum, and when the tour guide introduces himself, Duke can’t help but role his eyes. Jason gives a surprisingly good tour, even throwing in some tidbits about a robbery that went down just last week that the Signal stopped.

Damian’s encounter happens when he’s with Jon in metropolis. He’s watching Jon play baseball, and when Jon steps up to bat, he can’t help but notice a the umpire looks a little familiar.

[unapolme]

i dreamt about ultrakill for some reason

there was this living city run and held up entirely by one individual like LITERALLY held up like atlas

gabriel warned them not to let the city fall to fight v1 even if it showed up, and that he would defend the city for them

but the city holder ignored gabriel and confronted v1, but was defeated and so the city fell down. but v1 was like "no!! all that blood!!!" and plugged itself into the city and managed to take it over somehow just long enough to restore it and proceeded to immediately sack it for the blood

there. was so much angst art my brain was generating of gabriel and the cityholder. like literally cityholder wiping blood from gabriel's face. (i think this was post-gabriel ultrakilling the council and he was still alive somehow and he and the cityholder were like. friends in the sense of "you are the only one i can truly trust")

ALSO, the game was sponsored by mt dew and taco bell had exclusive ultrakill flavors. it was pink like danganronpa blood.

[unapolme]

conceptualising brucie wayne as like…. an ominous boomer texter. he uses a lot of ellipses. never elaborates on anything. describes events in the worst ways imaginable. he texts dick ‘the plane went down. we lost tim’ (bruce forgot to pick tim up from school after lacrosse practice) and dick tries to call and ask if bruce just told him his brother?? is dead?? and bruce just keeps replying with thumbs up emojis with no context and ‘tim passed’ (his final exams)

[unapolme]

at the mariners bar: sorry mates i cant go out today.. My boat's transmasc now. He's more comfortable with he/him. He just went through top surgery to get his sails removed and he's recovering. Bluebeard-and-Pronouns the woke pirate: arrg so he's gotten a mastectomy. well i'm glad that he's discovered himself.

[unapolme]

It is incredibly clear that Luigi Mangione TERRIFIES the leeches at the top. The entire media machine, the law itself, it has all been focused on disassembling the class consciousness generated by his actions. They've tried to dig up every shred of dirt on him, they're censoring his name, they're setting the dogs of corporate media on him, they're planting evidence on him to prevent bail. And it's barely working, but it's technically working. At this point, anyone with a negative word to say about him or his actions is a class traitor

[unapolme]

Remember earlier this year when Boeing very clearly had a whistleblower executed? And law enforcement didn't even look for anyone or release any info about it or anything?

People keep comparing Luigi Mangione's case to the subway murderer who got off because of systemic eugenics, but I think there's something more apt about the fact that a CEO had someone executed in recent memory, with zero attempts to find a culprit, while they spared no expense at all to find (and probably frame, it's beginning to look like) someone who shot a CEO. It's always fine to slaughter if you're rich, but if you kill the rich, they will hunt you down.

[unapolme]

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

[unapolme]

i think the only reason aqua did that actually is because he had the terminal drama gene and he got that directly from hikaru, ai, AND gorou

saying this as someone otherwise totally isolated from the oshi no ko fandom but

aqua totally didnt need to stab himself and die to convince people about hikaru. he could have just shoved hikaru into the freezing cold ass water, waited like 15mins and went "911!!! 911!!! my shitty dad jumped into dangerous rocky water when i told him about the movie!!! help :( " and then went to the concert

in fact this is what i believe happened now because i wanna be delusional

[unapolme]

The funniest one star review of Wicked I've seen so far

[unapolme]