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SYDNEY’S NEW YEAR EVE FIREWORKS 2022/23

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For all of the people who makes me smile,

When I really wanted to cry

Thank you,

I wish you sunshine in the sky,

I wish you loverooted within you,

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Sepertinya aku hidup di masa yang salah.

Ketika manusia mengagungkan estetika,

Aku mendambakan kejujuran apa adanya.

Ketika manusia berusaha terlihat lebih dari segala,

Aku mendamba hidup sederhana jauh dari hiruk pikuk ketenaran fana semata.

Izinkan aku rebah dalam ketenangan.

Pasrah.

Berserah.

Dan demikian saja.

16.07.2022

#Kepinganpikiran2022

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I killed people,

in my tought.

Cause killing people in real life will be a mess

and I hate trouble.

But sometimes people are gross

And I want to kill them,

Platonically.

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“I have made this mistake in my life…not once but twice I have loved someone more than my heart would bear.” - Sebastian Faulks, Birdsong

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“We would be together and have our books and at night be warm in bed together with the windows open and the stars bright.”

— Ernest Hemingway, A Moveable Feast

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Notes to Self

Below are notes I wrote to myself that helped me through the most difficult time of my life.

November 27, 2015:

God will carry us, like He has always done.

April 3, 2016:

We belong to God and it is His decision what He does with us. This is where God wants me.

May 2, 2016:

Your unsolvable problems are no different than the unsolvable problems of others. God wants you to see your powerlessness compared to Him. And to see that the afterlife is more important.

May 3, 2016:

No matter how hard it is, today will pass, and the day after it, and death will eventually come and free you.

May 3, 2016:

Today will pass.

May 21, 2016:

Maybe the point is to enjoy life as it happens, and not to think it is my job to manage the world. Maybe the point is that there is no point, except doing good with what we are given.

July 2, 2016:

“… and despair not of relief from God . Indeed, no one despairs of relief from God except the disbelieving people.“ (Quran 12:87)

May 21, 2017:

Do righteousness and help the needy and give up sin and honor the Lord and His rites and then expect your prayers to be answered. (The Bible, summary of Isaiah 58)

June 6, 2017:

If God chooses to throw away my intelligence, my talents, my youth without making use of them then He can do it. He can bring about a thousand like me in very little time. He is needless of me and of all humans.

July 6, 2017:

If I am fatigued, if my eyes are dry, if I can’t be productive, if I have neuropathy, this is God allowing this to happen to me, maybe this will be my life until I die, maybe accept it and stop fighting against it. It is God’s business. Maybe this is the life He wants for me. Like a priest who dies alone, poor, hungry and unknown. A nobody. Accept it, be content.

July 17, 2017:

“… and be of the thankful ones.” (Quran 7:144)

August 21, 2017:

You have an estate in the afterlife. That’s your real life, your real wealth, your real status, your real condition. Whatever the state of that estate is, it will seep into this world and make itself apparent. If your estate in the afterlife is a ruin and on fire from your sins, then that will show itself in the present life through illness, calamities and disgrace. And if your estate in the afterlife is a beautiful and thriving garden, its scent and quality will enter your present life, in this way you will have a beautiful, honored and comfortable life.

August 25, 2017:

God wants you to lose hope in this world so that what you look forward most to is Paradise, a cup of tea with cake in the evening without fretting about how it would completely ruin the next day from blood sugar issues and insomnia.

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2022.03.19

I hope that one day I will find an effortless romantic relationship, like I and my friend do.

A relationship that doesn't need sweet talk, but pure honesty.

A relationship that so strong, even after so many gap we have, we're still walking on the same path, laughing for the same joke, and it feels effortless.

The interaction, the meeting, the communication.

I want an effortless romantic relationship.

Something that feels natural.

And doesn't make me feel tired.

Tired of pretending to be someone I'm not, tired of pretending that I'm a generous human being while I'm not. I hate most of people on earth except those who I cherish the most.

If it's not an effortless relationship, I don't want it.

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2022.03.17

I want to love myself even my own thought said I am stupid, ugly, and fat

I want to love myself even my own thought said that I don't deserve anyone.

I want to tell myself that the universe has been good to myself all this time because I have:

An imperfect family that love to argue and sometimes said shitty things to each other but still trying to apologize and forgive

Some low maintenance good friends that share the same humor.

Most of the time of my life, I met a lot of kind people that teach me to be kind more and more to other people.

I don't need to be skinny or have glowing skin to be loved because I was surrounded by people who LOVE me not because how I look or what my position is. They are all LOVE me the way I am: my small eyes, my wide smile and big teeth, my big nose, and thick lips.

They LOVE me even sometimes my words are sharp and hurt them, yet they forgive.

I want to remind myself that I before him, is always loved.

Even when he doesn't love me back, I still receive so much love from anyone.

I always content

I always blessed.

I love myself with or without him.

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yooo how do u email a prof for a recommendation letter?

Hi Professor!

I am in the process of applying to ____ and they require letters of rec. I sincerely enjoyed your classes, and felt that they gave me a particularly good chance to display my strengths, such as ____ [class participation, writing, etc.] and would love for you to write me a letter, if you’d be willing. The due date is ____, and I can send you further instructions for submission later if you accept.

Attached to this email is ____, the piece of work I did in your class which best showcases my abilities, as well as my current CV [or resume]. If you agree to write me a letter, soon I will also send you drafts of my ____ [statement of purpose, personal statement, application essays, other relevant material] for my application to aid in your writing. I am also happy to meet in person to discuss this with you.

I want to stress that this application is quite competitive, so if you feel you will not be able to write me a strong letter then I completely understand - but please let me know. Thank you so much for your time!

Sincerely, ____

—

a few notes:

- you should have all your relevant materials (app essays, etc.) sent to them *at least* a month in advance to give them ample time to write the letter

- thus, your initial email asking them if they’d be willing to write a letter for you should be sent *over* a month in advance. professors are busy

- if you are applying for a really prestigious position/scholarship/fellowship, or grad school, it’s best to have at least a majority of your letter writers be professors (rather than adjuncts or post docs). ideally you’d want them to be full/tenured professors. in lots of cases, especially academic ones, *who* writes your letter matters - not just *what’s in* your letter

- the reason you send them the piece of work you did in their class that you are most proud of is to remind them of your abilities as a student and the quality of the work you produced for them. they have lots of students. sometimes they need a bit of help jogging their memory of exactly what you did in their class.

- the reason you send them your other application materials (personal statement, statement of purpose, CV) is so that they have information to draw from when writing your letter. they know what you’re passionate about, what you hope to do in the future, other experience you have, and can use this information when writing your letter

- on a similar note, this is also why you’d want to list the strengths you displayed in their class

- basically, you want to give them as much information as you can about your strengths, goals, and intentions - give them prompts they can use to write your letter

- the bit at the end about asking for a “strong letter” is important because some professors can only write you mediocre letters (e.g. “this student was always on time to class and gave their undivided attention during lecture” - what does this tell admission committees? well, it tells them that the professor has nothing positive to say about your *academic* abilities and so they’re resorting to other strengths. it’s a polite way of saying “this student was okay, but not spectacular in any notable way”. big red flag for admissions committees.) if all you’re going to get is a mediocre letter, you might as well not get a letter at all

- if the professor you ask accepts, then be sure to send them polite reminders as the date approaches. (i usually send a reminder at the 1-month-till-due-date mark when i send the other application materials, and then again at the 2 week and 1 week marks, and, if necessary, every day after the final 3 days leading up to the due date

—

i know this was a lot, but i remember being in your shoes and being completely lost when it came to applying for stuff so i know how daunting it can be. i figured i’d just throw all this information at you to be of as much help as possible.

for reference, i’ve applied to graduate programs, fellowships, and scholarships. i have been accepted into several of the top 10 graduate programs in my area, as well as received multiple scholarships and a fellowship, and received honorable mentions for some of the most competitive fellowships in the US. i have also worked with the admissions committee at my graduate program to organize multiple informational events for those interested in applying to graduate school and, in the process, have learned a lot about what makes a strong application.

so while you should absolutely take my advice with a grain of salt (different circumstances call for different standards), i do have quite a bit of experience with applications and what makes a strong letter of rec.

i hope this helped! best of luck with whatever you’re applying for :)

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fridays spent in the company of celtic mythology and thousands of books

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I feel a lot, and sometimes it’s horrible but sometimes it’s awesome.

Victoria Pedretti for Style Like You

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12.09.2021

Di usia 28 tahun, aku benar-benar paham dan sadar bahwa alasan kita disebut "hamba Allah" karena memang tugas kita adalah "tunduk dan patuh" tanpa tapi, tanpa bertanya.

Tapi karena kita manusia, punya akal untuk berpikir dan menimbang, kita jadi suka lupa dan merasa diri kita lebih dari segala.

"Tuhan tidak ada! Kalau Tuhan ada, seharusnya kejahatan tidak akan ada di muka bumi ini! Kalau Tuhan ada, semua orang tidak akan merasakan kesedihan!"

Tapi memang itu tujuan kita diciptakan. Untuk dicoba dan diuji. Lalu kita harus menerimanya dengan lapang dada. Pasrah, ikhlas, tanpa perlawanan.

Dalam bahasa Inggris, hamba diterjemahkan sebagai "slave"; budak, hamba sahaya. Apa yang seharusnya dilakukan budak dan hamba sahaya? Tunduk dan patuh pada majikannya.

Kita adalah budak-budak Tuhan. Bahkan, di kitab Injil saja manusia dianalogikan sebagai domba-domba yang tersesat. Tahu kenapa? Supaya kita senantiasa sadar betapa rendahnya diri kita.

Manusia tidak lebih tinggi.

Manusia tidak lebih hebat.

Kita cuma dikasih akal saja.

Sedih ya kalau dirasa-rasa? Jahat ya, kayaknya. Tapi kita tetap harus tunduk dan patuh. Tanpa tapi, tanpa bertanya.

Ah, hidup ini sungguh paradoks.

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Quran 82:6 – Surat al-Infitar

مَا غَرَّكَ بِرَبِّكَ الْكَرِيمِ

… what has made you careless about your generous Lord?

Source: suhaib93, via IslamicArtDB