ultimatehistorical

[ultimatehistorical]

im convinced kafka was my soulmate but we couldn’t exist in the same timeline because he would definitely annoy me as he was a cancer man

Lmao fair enough

[ultimatehistorical]

Funniest historical events bracket

Details under the cut:

Aimo: He overdosed on meth during combat. He was a Finnish soldier during WW2 and his group was attacked, but they managed to escape. He got tired but couldn't stop, so he consumed the entire supply they had. Then he lost consciousness. He woke up alone the following morning and he was attacked by the Soviets again, escaped, got injured in a landmine and hid in a ditch. He lived until 71 btw this adventure wasn't that bad for his health.

Horse: its a legend. not real. maybe inspired by real events but no one was hidden in a horse. but look at this fucking picture i had to put it in just for the picture. yeah warriors hidden inside a wooden horse whatever

[ultimatehistorical]

Funniest historical events bracket

challenger: they were gonna put big bird (muppets) on that thing.

franz ferdinand: there were 6 assassins along the motorcade route. First one was armed with a bomb, and did absolutely fuck all when the cars passed him. Okay. Next to him there was another one armed with a bomb and a pistol. He also did nothing. Further along there was another dude with a bomb. He threw it at the car and it bounced off the folded roof. It exploded under the next car and some people were hurt but Franz Ferdinand is still completely fine. The assassin swallowed a cyanide pill and jumped into a river but he was so bad at assassinating he couldn't even kill himself. The other 3 assassins were also completely useless. Then the archduke and other were going to visit the people injured, but the driver took the wrong turn, someone qualified came and shot Franz Ferdinand at point blank range. the end. and thats why *checks notes* the germans invated belgium?? how does that make sense

[ultimatehistorical]

Franz Ferdinand made some gay ass music and that's why they assassinated him

[ultimatehistorical]

🥳🔪🕺🔥💃✨️🤗🎉🤩🎊❤️‍🔥🤪🗡😈🎉🤺

[ultimatehistorical]

franz ferdinand recording and releasing the song Michael while still professing to all be straight is one of music's biggest moves

[ultimatehistorical]

What is the best book to ever exist?

Is a question being asked to you!

The rules are simple:

As long as it's a book, it's allowed!

No fanfics are allowed, only original works

Books from any culture are allowed

Picture books or comics/manga/etc are allowed

The book doesn't have to be printed, it can be online

It doesn't have to be finished, only as long as there is something there to read (one or more chapters)

Don't submit whole series, only individual works per submission

Only one book per submission, but there is no limit to how many books one person is allowed to submit

Submit books below!

Tagging: @tournament-announcer @sapphic-book-tournament @bookclub

[ultimatehistorical]

wooooowwwww thank you !!!! reaaaaaal copper !

[ultimatehistorical]

Okkkkkk thank yuo cani have 3 copper sticks please

[ultimatehistorical]

Hey anyone know if this copper is from a trustworthy source?

[ultimatehistorical]

Bram Stoker, Mary Shelley and Robert Louis Stevenson reading like that Edgar Allan Poe meme

[ultimatehistorical]

The Master:

He's Kenough

Tzeitel:

I love her wry sense of humour.

[ultimatehistorical]

Gregor samsa

[ultimatehistorical]

You die two deaths - your physical death and your true death when your name is spoken for the last time. You, a mild-mannered introvert, have been stuck in limbo for centuries waiting for your true death, and finally found out why.

[ultimatehistorical]

[ultimatehistorical]

I love both but please vote willkommen I'm begging you

Musical Theatre Song Contest: Round Three C

Submitter’s propaganda under the cut

I’m Breaking Down

Local housewife makes banana carrot surprise and goes insane over her ex-husband being gay. What more do u want. This song is amazing, Trina sweep, goodnight

so freaking relatable

Wilkommen

Opening song of all time