uiscewraith

[uiscewraith]

Last Night in Soho - Poster

Check out the trailer here.

[uiscewraith]

My “Last Night In Soho” film poster.

Now available in my shop: 

https://www.etsy.com/shop/MikeSapienzaDesigns

[uiscewraith]

Aron Wiesenfeld (1972-) “The Forest” (2020) Oil on canvas

[uiscewraith]

Ive never felt like I belonged anywhere. Even with those who care in their own way, I still feel a disconnect. I do enjoy some alone time, but it's not in balance. Im so unhappy and have always, always struggled to find a niche for myself, participating enough in society while maintaining my distance enough to be content. I have a lot of ambitions but few resources, despite my efforts. Im fine working a job I dont love, but its extremely hard to find anything even tolerable. Theres little interest in me anyway, but most job descriptions make me feel alien and churn my stomach with buzzing anxiety. I dont think anyone has ever understood how constantly fucking uneasy Ive been since about the age of 9, for everything. Im smart and aware, but that doesnt mean Im made for this world. I hated school, I hated the agendas of my parents, the self centered neglect of "friends". I hate the inhuman way the world operates and makes me feel like I dont deserve anything, even though I know thats bullshit. I need unconditional compassion and gentleness now more than ever. I guess the only thing keeping me from ending my own life is that vibrant awareness deep inside of the potential of things, and me, and fear, of course. I love a lot,but itsnot enough. I dont feel loved and nurtured, and there's always been a sense of lacking as far as emotional security, in all my relationships of any kind. Sure there have been good times, but there's always something wrong. The nagging OCD, anxiety, depression, the feeling of being constantly let down, the feeling of being more invested than anyone else, of knowing my qorth yet feeling insecure and sick inside. And the constant physical manifestations of all this bullshit, the aching and general feeling of discomfort. The strange sensations of trpuble breathing, of weitd muscle spasms, headaches, feeling gross, feeling uncomfortable in any sleeping or sitting position, NEVER feeling rested, amways exhausted inside. Life has been a huge disappointment in general. This shit is draining.

[uiscewraith]

New Designs

My wife just created two new earring designs on her page, called ‘Melancolia’ and ‘Radiant is the Night’.

www.etsy.com/shop/LuciernagaNegra

Any support and shares so very much appreciated, times are hard.

[uiscewraith]

this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!

[uiscewraith]

John Watkiss - Birth of Free Will

[uiscewraith]

New earring design just in time for Halloween-- called 'Under a Sacred Sky'.

Visit my wife's Etsy and use code SPOOKYTIME for 25% through the end of October!

Any support for her small business is appreciated, times are very tough.

Hurry before they're gone!

[uiscewraith]

New earring design just in time for Halloween-- called 'Under a Sacred Sky'.

Visit my wife's Etsy and use code SPOOKYTIME for 25% through the end of October!

Any support for her small business is appreciated, times are very tough.

Hurry before they're gone!

[uiscewraith]

Check out my new shop, LuciernagaNegra, on Etsy! Use code SPOOKYTIME for 25% all of October 🎃🦇🍁🍂🖤🧡🔮⚰🕯🚬🕸💋🧛🏻‍♀️

[uiscewraith]

Someday

Autumn in Edinburgh by folkenrose/Abbi

[uiscewraith]

[uiscewraith]

At the end of the day, I don't feel hope, or motivation, or truly loved and appreciated enough to make this drudgery worth my while. This is about refusing to settle. Actions really do have the final say. Im lonely and disappointed, and thoroughly disgusted by the willingness of everyone 'in my life' to be surface level and flakey as all hell. No one seems to truly fight for anything, no passion breaks through enough to light this shit with divine fire. You say you care, then fucking prove it bitch. Do something. Be fucking consistent in something other than your self centered double face.

[uiscewraith]

Sophia Loren in What Would Sophia Loren Do? (2021), dir. Ross Kauffman

[uiscewraith]

[uiscewraith]

Ava Gardner in The Killers (1946)

[uiscewraith]

You're self centered and weak minded, and have allowed yourself to become absorbed, mindlessly. You dont know the meaning of loyalty, and cant even maintain a relationship that meant so much at one time. Someone who took care of you in many ways, and thought you'd do the same. There have always been signs, of the rotten spot inside you, going back almost 20 years now. Of your failure to be consistent, of your interpersonal cowardice and failure to take responsibility. Why are you such a let down, after all this time? Why are you so heart breakingly disappointing? You've fallen into the mire of complacency and flakery. You had a spring of magic inside, but you've let it down. How dare you.