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trying to write fic from v1's perspective has me honestly coming to realizations about myself like. i have never experienced anything even closely related to gender euphoria until i pictured myself as v1 for the sake of writing description. i want to overclock myself i want to be dripping with blood i feel legitimately dissatisfied not being able to feel wings vibrating on my back my hands itch having flesh on them. dont know what to do about all that, it's a deeply dissatisfying feeling, but it's more "i am realizing how dissatisfied with my presentation i have Always been without realizing it until now", and i've also never had something to point to as "that. i want that. i want to be that" so viscerally before. and i do like having that. puts my head in my hands. :[

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mr orange iz allowed to zwear btw

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I have terrible news

He’s named Herbert

Where I stole this from

I'm going to kill myself

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Posting my hcs for what the mercenaries smell like because why not

(Aside from the obvious sweat & gore)

SCOUT: Definitely overdoes it on trying to cover the stink of his job, lots of deodorant and body spray. A bit of the smell of Bonk because he drinks when running and spills some on himself (that stuff probably sinks into skin and permanently makes the smell stick). He doesn’t smell bad, he just needs to tone it down a bit.

SOLDIER: This man is STINKY. Dirt, grime, old food, and raccoons. Probably bathes by dunking himself in a river. Likely also vaguely sticky because of the covering himself in honey thing… it leaves a sweet smell that does not mesh well with the other smells.

PYRO: Gasoline, ash, burnt flesh, and something sweet. Probably has a big sweet tooth and has forgotten candy that melted in their pockets from the fire.

DEMOMAN: Alcohol. But also an indistinct warm smell that’s kinda comforting, and a reasonable amount of cologne. Probably one of the better smelling mercs honestly, as long as you don’t mind the alcohol smell. Besides alcohol and cologne he doesn’t have much of a scent because his mother raised him to have good hygiene even when he’s half-dead drunk. Would probably relax in a nice bath to settle down after a long day on the field. Would probably also pass out with his head and one arm over the side of the tub.

HEAVY: A homely scent like he’s been cooking all day, a very warm and pleasant smell. Takes care of himself and has good hygiene so he doesn’t stink of battle when he’s off the clock, aside from gunmetal from making sure his weapons are in good shape. Definitely a man who takes care of himself and his belongings.

ENGINEER: Oil, metal, and coffee from late nights spent fussing over inventions. Generally has good hygiene but can forget to take care of himself when he gets focused on a project so sometimes he’s a bit stinky.

MEDIC: This man stinks like a hospital and cadavers. Even off the field he’s digging through guts and is covered in chemicals you’d have in a hospital (for cleaning and otherwise). He also smells like his birds of course, which isn’t a bad smell, but it’s overpowered by the other scents. When he’s done being covered in gore he probably has to aggressively clean himself off so he’ll just smell like disinfectant and soap.

SNIPER: Earthy and vaguely like gunmetal and wood. He considers himself a professional so he’s got a regular self-care routine, he doesn’t overdo it on cologne and has a very subtle smell you can’t pick up on unless you’re close to him. That is unless he’s out in the wilderness alone, in which case he’ll smell like dust, mud, and sweat.

SPY: Absolutely DROWNS himself in cologne or perfume. Overcompensates for the stink of his job and cigarettes with expensive scents. You could choke on the amount of cologne/perfume this man dunks himself in. It’s so excessive that it starts to smell more like chemicals than a pleasant scent. He probably single-handedly destroyed the mercs’ noses so now they can’t smell him when he’s sneaking around. RIP to any Spy lovers with scent allergies.

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Sending after seeing the 'Gabriel would not hate kids' anon because 1. I agree so much and 2. Because I feel like sometimes people forget his default state is being kind!! Think of the hologram on the ferry, he didn't need to remind the sinners damned to the lowest levels to care for themselves, but he did! Think of actual Gabriel, he had to inform Mary of what would happen! He's only pissed at V1 because V1 beat his ass, killed thousands and doomed him to die, which is completely fair (But also him being whiny in fan interpretations is fun sometimes, he can have a little. As a treat)

(Also small note NOT hating on any interpretations of Gabriel just me thinking and rambling here) - 🪱

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something that stuck with me about comic seven,

after the administrator turns to dust, Pauling is like, absolutely covered in dust. Like to the point she's trailing it behind her

I don't think she would get that much dust on her just from standing close to helen while she disintegrated. With the way it all seems concentrated on her legs, it seems to me like she fell to her knees in the dust pile and got coated in it

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ADD GUTTERMEN TO ENCORE

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Your honor she was girlbossing

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Shocked an appalled no one is talking about pyro's dog

I really didn't think the dog would be brought up again but they were!

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[tf2 issue 7 spoilers]

It would have been one thing if they had the administrator at the end being like "Oh Ms. Pauling, I've been a fool! I regret everything! Don't lose your life to hatred! Don't be like me! Spite isn't the answer!" but instead she looked back over her 100+ year life dedicated to torturing this one man and went "hell yeah. nailed it." and then died so hard she turned into dust. absolutely iconic. next level hating. no one does it like her.

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Speeding bullet headcanons

In light of comic 7

The gaggle of children frolicking about? Target practice

Nerf wars in this home go HARD. The destruction of peace at the hands of a foam bullet

Scout wants to be as good a parent as his Ma. So, whenever something happens, he responds whoever he thinks his Ma would

Sniper points out that while he loves Scout’s Ma, maybe the kids shouldn’t practice gang fights. Just a thought

They both love the children very deeply. Once Scout is living life as a single father and reconnects with Sniper, Sniper just kinda moves in and starts doing the kids hair in the morning

Adopt-a-dad

Small children love chaos and starting fires and climbing trees and these guys are not able to resist the temptation

Sniper channels his dad to discipline the kids (which causes him to look inwards at how his dad fucked him up) and Scout is surprisingly a natural at gentle parenting

This rambunctious, poor-decision making young man transform into a wonderful and present father. Kids have a school play? He’s there front row screaming. Kid misbehaving? He’s explaining their behavior and how to better respond next time

Scout takes all of them out individually to play ball and it heals something deep within him

Totally wrapped around each individual tiny finger tho LMAO Scout WILL buy it for them and Sniper WILL take them there

They go on family nature outings ❤️ Sniper teaches the kids survival skills and Scout carries them when they get tired from walking

Scout works out using the kids as weights

They build family forts and tree houses!!

AKA Sniper builds them and Scout sword fights the kids with branches

It’s a very sweet domestic bliss. Scout and Sniper both deal with PTSD from the gravel war and rely on each other to get through it

When Spy visits they give the children sugar first 😈

When the mercs visit the kids have a sit down talk after about why we can’t act like that

Sniper and Scout fighting with 23039483727171 children about why they can’t have a baboon even yes uncle Medic has one

Privately they question if Medic is related to the monkey

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The TF2 mercs as incorrect quotes part 4

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TF2 ISSUE 7 SPOILERS //

Alright alright I know everyones going crazy over the ending of the comic (I am too) but I don't see this moment talked about enough and how beautifully done it is.

We start with the Administrator: The man who took everything from her is finally dead. She reigns victory. She is now living alone in peace, leaving flowers for each and every gravestone that was left before Zepheniah Mann's passing. The gravestones left before him are carved out beautifully, time and effort put into each and every one of them. The Administrator even lays out the roses so they look like they're grown out around the gravestones.

And here we have Zepheniah Mann's grave. A slab of rock with only his initials carved into it. The other gravestones are large, extravagant, and have their full names carved into them. Zepheniah's remains small; little thought put into it.

The gravestone wasn't even for him in the first place. It was for whichever of his son's died first, whichever one failed him. He himself didn't put much care into the gravestone, so why should he deserve anything better? In the end, he was treated the way he treated others. He was the failed son.

The Administrator leaves the stems of the roses out for him. She just places them there, no thought put into it seemingly. But there is SO much thought in this very moment. She had everything planned out from the very beginning.

Every day, she watched as the man grew older and older. She was there for his passing, and as far as we can tell, she caused his death. She leaves out roses for each and every grave, except for his. She leaves the stems. To her, he doesn't deserve the flower, he deserves the thorns. They aren't placed with care like the other flowers had been, they are simply put down. She gives him exactly what he deserves.

The atmosphere has suddenly lost that beautiful lighting and vibrant colours, the sky has become more gray and dreary. The Administrator is waking up more devastated, putting less time and effort into her daily life. The stems are turning brown, wilting under her eyes. She cares less. She seems relatively unaffected by the things around her. She gets stung by a bee, but doesn't seem to care. However that last panel says everything. She's growing tired of doing the same thing day in and day out. The cycle of depression is a tiring one. Soon enough you realize: is it even worth it? After all of this, after I finally got the one thing I wanted. But what now?

The scene is now almost completely devoid of colour. The weather is gloomy, and the Administrator looks like she has been bedridden for a while. She has taken the gravestone into her bedroom, now having to wake up to the reminder that he's dead and gone, she got what she wanted. But at what cost? There's nothing left to do anymore. She set herself out for one goal and one goal only her entire life. What was the point anymore?

There's so much to unpack in these panels, I doubt I've even scraped the surface of this. She's lost all emotion, the next few panels showing that she doesn't believe there's a point in living anymore. It's a terrifying thought, setting your entire life up to do one specific thing, getting that thing done, and then having nothing else left to live for. It's such a well-done portrayal of how depression can destroy you from the inside out.

Revenge is sweet, but it has a bitter aftertaste.

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Canonical TF2 names:

Scout: Jeremy Willis

Soldier: Jane Doe

Pyro: unknown

Demo: Tavish Finnegan DeGroot

Heavy: Mikhael (often goes by Misha), last name unknown

Engineer: Dell Conagher

Sniper: Mr. Mundy (first name possibly Mick, unconfirmed)

Medic: Mr. Ludwig, first name unknown

Spy: unknown

Miss Pauling: Flo Pauling

The Administrator: unknown (several fake names, all confirmed false)

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downside: going to have to include a picture of the Giza pyramids in the slides for the lecture upside: i get to give people a crash course in why perspective matters in two frames, because

followed by

is such a funny sequence

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While taking a nap today I dreamt there was a hazard sign called "never found" which was used to indicate a location where people disappeared never to be seen again