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“reblog this or your mom will die”

“seriously judging everyone who doesn’t reblog this post”

“if you don’t reblog this post you have no soul”

“you reblogged something from an OP who is bad”

“i don’t care what your blog is about, spread this like wildfire!”

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“i wish i could go on platonic dates with people”

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Okay so we have a white American exchange student in our class and he’s kind of a massive dick.

We were in class and he made a fried chicken and watermelon joke to a Kaurna classmate and the whole table was just like ????

Like we all *knew* something was fucked up, from the tone of voice and body/face language but the association between black people and fried chicken and watermelon isn’t a thing here? I sort of roughly know about it from tumblr: enough to know that his dude was a fuckwit.

Everyone just stared back and were like “We don’t understand can you explain it?” And he started off repeating and laughing and then as we kept pressing for an explanation he was hella embarrassed and kept saying that “It’s fine, don’t worry about it, it was just a joke”

Until one of my table mates went “Oh, maybe he doesn’t understand it himself - I googled this, let me explain it to you AMERICANDUDE and she read off a whole definition while maintaining intense eye contact and and it was like watching a premeditated MURDER.

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Can y’all believe this…men always have something to say its literally just a picture of the ground

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When you accidentally bite your tongue while eating

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I’m a simple woman. I find a song I like, I listen to it for three weeks uninterrupted until I find another one.

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Interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Me: I used escapist fantasies as a coping mechanism to get through years of trauma and therefore never learned how to plan for a real life future

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Hilarious Reasons Why Every Cat Owner Should Get A Glass Table

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I like how everybody is paired off haha

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glitched areas in 3d games: bizarre but serene, like being in a wide awake dream world, where physics and logic are only theories, and everything seems so confined and yet you’ve never felt more free

glitched areas in 2d games: welcome to hell! welcome to hell! welcome to hell!

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Everytime I go to the Valentine’s Day section I lose my mind and become possessed by the physical embodiment of a glittery heart

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youre a mean one

mister

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Dramatic snow leopard spots new camera in enclosure for the first time

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Man shouldn’t be able to see his own face – there’s nothing more sinister. Nature gave him the gift of not being able to see it, and of not being able to stare into his own eyes.

Only in the water of rivers and ponds could he look at his face. And the very posture he had to assume was symbolic. He had to bend over, stoop down, to commit the ignominy of beholding himself.

The inventor of the mirror poisoned the human heart.

— Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet (1982)