twinbladeslegacy

[twinbladeslegacy]

11 Bloomingtide, 9:30 Dragon

Maker’s breath the worst has happened.

We arrived in Denerim today, and the one person that recognised me from Ostagar was too far into his cups to recognise I was lying through my teeth denying his recognition. I should have known that life was gearing up for a punch to the gut with that one, because it was far too easy; and indeed, the alienage has been closed.

Purged the guard said, under orders of a new arl — some shem called Howe — due to an “elven uprising” that “killed the former arl’s son”. With Urien being killed at Ostagar (though, the merchant who has been camping with us, Bodahn, says he’s heard a rumour that Vaughn set the Crows after his own father before he even made it to Ostagar), that left the city without anyone to pick up rule.

And it’s all my fault.

What else could I have done? Taken Vaughn’s bribe and let him continue to violate my dearest cousin? Not to mention his guards killing Nelaros and Nola, and the fact he would have violated Velora as well? No, I did what I had to do, but I’m not the one accepting the consequences of my actions.

The guard wouldn’t let me in, not even when I told him I used to live there. Alistair was kind enough to ask what had happened, and Maker, I almost blew our cover right there when the guard started clutching his pearls about knife-ears having the gal to kill Vaughn in cold blood. I went right up to him and told him what happened: that not even a knife-ear would sleep with Vaughn’s rancid ass so he deserved what he got when he tried to take it by force.

It’s all a bit vague after this point. I found myself trying to scale the gates, but Sten — the Qunari, that is — easily plucked me off of it and ushered me back to the other end of the marketplace while Alistair made excuses for my “inebriated state”. Morrigan seemed to brighten up at the thought of fighting Loghain head on, but Sten was right to stop me. I... I must trust that the Elder and Father and Shianni and Soris are keeping everyone as safe as can be. Once the alienage reopens, I’ll be the first through those gates.

[Attached to this entry with a clip is a short note with a reference to another tome.]

[twinbladeslegacy]

30 Cloudreach, 9:30 Dragon

I had my first dream of the archdemon tonight. It’s just like that first vision I had after the joining, only this time I could see it so much more clearly. It looks nothing like the dragons depicted in books or in the fancy tapestries or stained glass you see at the Chantry or other such fancy shem places.

It was... horrible, in a word. It’s like I could hear its screams reverberating in my bones, but it wasn’t the cry of a feral beast. It was... intelligent, somehow. Like, it was saying something, just in a language I don’t understand. Alistair claims that older Wardens are able to understand the archdemon’s speech.

I’ve never held much to the stories the Chantry told about darkspawn and figured there was a lot of allegory here the way a lot of the bits and pieces of elvish stories have, but this...? I could almost believe that the darkspawn are a result of the heavens being corrupted by evil.

I don’t think I’ll be able to get back to sleep, but we have a long trek ahead of us back to Denerim. We’ll go covertly, and I’ll stick to the back roads until I reach the market place and the alienage. I must see my father, and my cousins, and let them know I survived Ostagar before we continue on this mad quest once more.

[twinbladeslegacy]

29 Cloudreach, 9:30 Dragon

Moira was right about the bit of fun in the inn, after a fashion. Turns out (surprise!) that our waltzing into town with full Grey Warden regalia did not go unnoticed with a hefty bounty on our heads. Switching out of it as soon as we heard did nothing to hide our identities from the people of Lothering, and the inn had a bounty hunter ready to claim their prize.

With the help of an apparently former Chantry sister, Leliana, we managed to send the bounty hunters back to Loghain with a message. I would have rather operated covertly, but a bounty on our heads would have made it nearly impossible anyway.

On top of the sister — who, bizarrely, believes the Maker wants her to accompany us — we also convinced the Revered Mother to release a qunari into our custody. There’s something about him that intrigues me, though I cannot put my finger on it quite yet.

Alistair is once again uncomfortable by my choice of recruits, but this time I don’t entirely blame him. Allegedly, the qunari slaughtered a whole family, including children. But strangely enough, he didn’t deny the charges and was more than content to face the consequences. When we released him, he spoke of atoning through helping us end the Blight. I feel there’s more to the story than he’s letting on, but he seems disinterested in speaking.

I have discovered that Moira and her brother, Carver, also survived Ostagar somehow. Moira was vague on the details, deflecting with jokes much like dear Alistair. Carver is more surly, but similarly refuses to share how they escaped the horde. It is wonderful that they have returned home and found it whole, with their mother and sister safe from the ‘spawn, as much as anyone in Lothering is safe from it. They seem like a happy family, and it makes me miss my own very much.

While I’m loathe to return to our quest, and to leave Moira behind as the first real friend I’ve made outside the alienage, needs must. I don’t like the way the templars eyes follow Morrigan through town, and after putting down a sorry band of refugees gambling their lives on the chance they’d survive long enough to claim the bounty on our heads, I think it’s time we said goodbye to Lothering.

[twinbladeslegacy]

28 Cloudreach, 9:30 Dragon

I don’t know how to write this. How lucky I am to have kept this on my person before the battle, or I may never have recovered it.

Duncan is dead. As is King Cailan.

Alistair and I were sent to the Tower of Ishal to light the beacon that would signal for Teryn Loghain’s troops to flank the darkspawn, as agreed during the war council. But the tower itself had already been overrun by darkspawn; a Circle Mage and a soldier were the only survivors from an apparent rise of darkspawn from within the deepest parts of the tower itself. The entire tower was a shambles, corpses of soldiers, mages, and ‘spawn on every floor.

We managed to save some mabari, who aided us for a time until they refused to ascend the stairs to the top of the tower.

I almost wish I hadn’t either.

There was a horrible beast waiting for as at the top; Alistair tells me it was an ogre, one of the strongest darkspawn in terms of size and brute strength. We defeated it by the skin of our teeth and lit the beacon—

—and the next thing I knew, Morrigan, the shem mage we met in the Kocari Wilds, was standing next to me. We were back at her hut, or her mother’s hut, I suppose. All the other soldiers under the king, all the other Grey Wardens, dead because Loghain quit the field instead of responding to the signal.

So far, the only survivor we’ve met is that mabari hound I helped heal at camp, who seems to be bereft of his Ash Warriors as much as we have lost the Wardens.

I don’t even know how to process this. It has been hardly a week since I left home, and there are more dead at my feet than I care to count, whether through my blades or no. After the Joining, Alistair gave me a small pendant filled with the darkspawn blood from the chalice. It now hangs in a place of honour on my necklace, right next to Nelaros' ring. How heavy will this become before the Blight is defeated?

[There are several more paragraphs here, full of the author’s sorrow and feeble attempts and waxing poetic about her losses, most of which have been scribbled out in what seems to be a frustrated manner.]

Flemeth — the old lady — sent Morrigan along with us, and she seems a capable mage in her own right, though Alistair has a bee in his bonnet about it. Well, he’ll just have to deal with it if he insists on leaving all of the decisions up to me despite the fact that I’ve only just had my Joining.

Morrigan has taken us to Lothering, a little village just outside of the Wilds. We’re keeping our Grey Warden affiliation under wraps here, as much as possible, as Loghain has put a bounty on us for treason and I suppose indirect regicide. We keep the Grey Warden regalia at camp when we visit the village to gather news and figure out our next steps: trying to use these blasted treaties to gather allies to fight the coming darkspawn horde, especially since Alistair assures me (though he won’t share how he’s able to be so certain) that an archdemon is coming too.

I’ve met another rogue here, a young woman named Moira with eyes so grey they’re almost white, and a lovely gap-toothed smile. She’s directed us to the local inn for “a fun time”, though I expect her idea of fun is not the same as mine.

[twinbladeslegacy]

23 Cloudreach, 9:30 Dragon

I have but mere moments, but the Joining is over. Daveth and Jory are dead.

I understand now why the Joining is a secret; the Wardens would never get voluntary recruits if everyone knew we had to drink darkspawn blood to join them, to become immune to the darkspawn taint.

(I confess I giggled audibly, even at such a serious time, when Duncan explained the ritual to us. Thankfully, only Alistair heard me and he graced me with a wink).

Daveth was the first to drink, and it killed him immediately. I couldn’t bring myself to run to catch him as he fell. He was the best of us, I think. I don’t want to be here, and Jory [here, a word is scribbled out] was too preoccupied with his wife and his future child to be wholly invested in the Wardens. Daveth was willing to gamble on a chance he might live through the Joining, over certainty that he’d die if the Blight ran unchecked.

Maker rest his soul. He would have made a fine Warden.

After Daveth died, Jory lost all nerve. I can’t blame him. If Nelaros hadn’t already been killed, if I hadn’t killed Vaughn, then I too might have a life I’d be afraid of leaving. Duncan killed him before he could kill us, or before he could run and sound the alarm about the Joining. 

Then it was me. Maker, but does it run like fire through you. I blacked out, I must have, because I found myself on the ground with Alistair and Duncan standing over me. Alistair asked if I had dreams, but Duncan interrupted him to say that we were to join them as soon as possible to meet with the King. 

But I did have dreams. There was a sickly green glow, and what must have been a dragon. 

[Here, a crude ink sketch that looks more like a blot, if not for an elongated snout and jagged triangles to represent teeth]

Alas, I am no artist. and this looks more like the figures Soris and I drew in the dirt. But in any case [The entry ends abruptly]

[twinbladeslegacy]

23 Cloudreach, 9:30 Dragon

Well, I’ve returned from the Wilds relatively unscathed. On Duncan’s orders, we collected vials of darkspawn blood for this mysterious “Joining” ceremony that is to be held after nightfall. I also managed to get some herbs for a sick mabari warhound, and we found the Grey Warden cache in the old Warden ruins at the heart of the Wilds. The documents had been cared for by some old shem woman and her daughter; the boys all think they’re witches, but how is a witch any different from a mage? It’s almost laughable the way they were afraid of being turned into frogs when both women were more than happy to engage in civil conversation — more civil, I might add, than a vast majority of so-called cultured shems I’ve met.

[A few lines are blacked out, as if the author thought better of what they wrote; in some places, you can almost make out a name: M--g--an.]

In any case, waiting for this so-called “Joining” is making me nervous. Anything that uses the blood of these creatures cannot be fun.

[twinbladeslegacy]

23 Cloudreach, 9:30 Dragon

After several days’ journey, we’ve finally reached Ostagar. The shem king, Cailan, is nice enough for king. He hasn’t a clue what goes on in his own city’s alienage, though he doesn’t seem to be ignorant by choice — he said something when we met about not being allowed to visit the alienage. Though, who is above a king, I wonder?

I wish Shianni and Soris could have seen the look on the shem king’s face when I told him what I did to find myself at his service. Duncan hastily smoothed things over and diverted the King’s attention back to the supposed Blight, but it was nice to have the full attention of the most powerful man in Ferelden if only for a few minutes. I only wish Duncan had let me tell him exactly what goes on in his city without mincing words.

I’ve met the other recruits, two shems called Jory and Davey and they seem nice enough. How funny it is, the way the Maker plays with our lives. Jory is from Highever, though our paths wouldn’t have crossed had I gone there with Nelaros. Davey, like me, is a criminal saved from the noose by Duncan’s perfect timing... though his crime was petty theft as opposed to murder, but who’s counting?

There’s also another Grey Warden here, a funny shem called Alistair. He doesn’t seem to have been part of the Wardens for long, since he’s still full of jokes and none of Duncan’s grumpiness.

I also met Teyrn Loghain. He seems like a nice man. A smart man, honestly, and far smarter than the King. The Teyrn seems to also find the King a little too eager to dive into battle as if we’re only playing at soldiers here. Not that I can say much, wearing my mother’s armour and having only a skirmish at best under my belt, but the King doesn’t seem to be taking any of this seriously.

Ostagar is impressive, even as a ruin. It’s far larger than Denerim castle, and the Kocari Wilds are a beautiful backdrop. Duncan says we are to go to the Wilds to collect vials of darkspawn blood for this “Joining” ritual. I have a bad feeling about this, but it’s not like I have much of a choice.

[twinbladeslegacy]

16 Cloudreach, 9:30 Dragon

I hardly know how to begin. My last entry was so full of hope, even if tinged with impending homesickness, and now... so much has happened, none of it good.

Nelaros is dead.

The only balm on my soul is that pig Vaughn is too. Son of the arl decided to get handsy with the ladies in the wedding party, and Shianni — Maker bless her heart — beaned him with a wine jug before she realised who he was. When Vaughn came to, he took all the women, myself included, back to the castle.

It was well that he knocked me out cold first, frankly.

When I came to, we were trapped inside; the guards arrived, killed Nola, then took Soris’ Velora and Shianni to Vaughn. I would have been thrown into the dungeon to await my turn, but Soris arrived. The guards were shocked enough to take their eyes off me, and Soris took the opportunity to slide me a couple of daggers.

We made short work of those two, but arrived in the main hall too late to save Nelaros. My legs felt like lead as I tried to run to him, knowing it was far too late for me to do anything. He hit the floor before I took two steps, and by the time Soris and I killed the guards he had gone. I didn’t even get to say good bye, or thank you. The wedding band I took off his finger now hangs from a chain on my neck. It’s not much, but the touch of the metal against my skin reminds me every day of his sacrifice.

I only wish—

[Here, several paragraphs of ink have blurred in odd splotches, as if someone was crying. The paper is delicate and almost brittle, the way wet paper looks once it dries.]

— was where we found Shianni. Vaughn tried to bribe me forty sovereigns to leave, but I killed him anyway. It was the least I could do for Shianni, though I’m not sure if my actions will make her suffer more in the long run. The murder of an arl’s son, no matter how justified, can hardly go unpunished by the shems.

We made it out, but it was only moments before the city guard arrived. I took the blame, if only to save Soris from the hangman’s noose. I don’t really understand what happened after this point.... another human, a Grey Warden something-or-other that had come to visit the Elder, stopped the guard from taking me to the gallows. Something about a war, or a blight, or ... I don’t know. Strange words, that I have only heard used by the Chantry sisters who come to preach on the weekends.

Duncan — that is, the Grey Warden — says we make our way to King Cailan’s camp at Ostagar. Father gave me mother’s armour as a parting gift, something he had secreted away under the floorboards for the last twenty five years. I’m amazed he didn’t sell it, the worksmanship alone is likely worth the entirety of the Alienage many times over. 

I don’t know how I feel about this whole Warden business. Duncan seems nice enough, but I have a feeling before this is over I might have preferred the hangman’s noose.

[twinbladeslegacy]

15 Cloudreach, 9:30 Dragon

The day of my wedding has arrived. Cousin Soris is none too pleased by his parents’ selection for his bride, but he tells me my groom is handsome. I have not yet summoned the courage to meet him, instead dragging Soris back to the house so I can write.

I am none too happy to leave Father alone in the alienage, to be whisked away to some Maker-forsaken arldom in the north. It’s been just Father and me for years now; I don’t even remember Mother, save the stories Father raised me on. Truth be told, I’m loathe to leave home; it is my duty, and I accept that wholeheartedly, but I am so... sad. Not just father, but Soris and Cousin Shianni as well, and everyone I’ve grown up with. Even the familiar sounds of the hustle and bustle of Denerim will be gone, replaced with who knows what in Highever.

It isn’t even far from Denerim, all things considered, but it might as well be a world away since I’d have no way of making the trip regularly. And once I start my family, who knows if I’ll even be able to make the trip? In fact—

Ah, we are being summoned. Away I go to meet my new husband. I hope he is as kind as he is handsome.