twilightresearch

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Do love triangles make the chemistry more exciting? There is a psychological reason why love triangles, such as what we've seen in Bridgerton this season, make such compelling tv: in simple terms, they tap into our love of drama. As Dr. Vowels explains, for some individuals this might spill over into real life: "Some people can enjoy the competition in a love triangle, and have fun in trying to win over someone else. Even if those feelings aren’t reciprocated, knowing that there are other people in the race can heighten levels of excitement." And then, there are the people at the centre of the love triangle, who might experience something of a power trip. According to Dr. Vowels, they; "May also get enjoyment in seeing other people battling for their attention. Feeling desired by several others at once can increase levels of self-confidence and even contribute to an ego-boost." /chcemy aby inni o nas zabiegali nawet jeśli nie odwzajemniamy ich uczuć /ego-boost

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Are love triangles romantic? Tv makes love triangles look like the epitome of romance and this is partly due to the way they are written, as a sort of "forbidden love". And in real life, some individuals in love triangle situations might feel a sense of excitement and thrill from finding themselves in a ménage-à-trois. As Dr. Laura Vowels, principal researcher and sex therapist at sex therapy app Blueheart puts it: "Those competing for affection can experience unrequited love in a similar way to forbidden love. The excitement of wanting someone that you can’t have may heighten the desire to win that person over." But, of course, reality doesn't always match our expectations. It's worth noting that when the initial excitement wears off, there might be considerable stress and conflict: particularly if there has been some level of deception leading to the formulation of the love triangle. /dlaczego ciekawią nas trójkąty miłosne /to, co zabronione /realia trójkąta miłosnego powodują dużo niekorzyści, dlatego tak chcemy o nich czytać bez konsekwencji

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What is a love triangle? A love triangle is pretty much what it says on the tin: a relationship dynamic involving three people. But in general (especially the way it is depicted in films and tv), it isn't consensual or intentional: unlike a polyamorous triad or throuple structure. Often the love triangle will involve one person who has feelings for two other people, who may feel the need to compete with one another in order to be "chosen" for a monogamous relationship by the object of their affections. /trójkąt miłosny

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Bridgertonowie Lady Whistledown - od strony autorki Zaczęła pisać anonimowe pismo, bo proca kobiety o wysokim pochodzeniu nie była akceptowalna Czuła, że nie ma kontroli nad swoim losem, więc pisała o innych

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/romanse pozwalają poczuć, że kobieta ma władzę jest bohaterem /często zmienia dynamikę roli kobiety w społeczeństwie podobnie autorki chcą czuć, że mają kontrolę nad sobą - brak kontroli prowadzi do fantazji

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/w romansach nie liczy się to jak dobrze ktoś pisze, tylko jak tworzy fikcję, fabuła jest ważniejsza

/język musi być przystępny dla odbiorcy - łatwiej czyta się mniej wymagające książki

/autor naprawdę musi lubić ten gatunek, żeby odnieśćsukces

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Why do I enjoy writing romance? "Because we are all affected by matters of the heart. The longing we share as humans to be accepted, wanted and loved unites us, despite any perceived differences we think exist and divide us. For me, delving into the many facets of the heart is an exploration into the human spirit and it has always fascinated me! It’s not just about the Happily Ever After (HEA), even though a romance will always have an HEA. For me, it’s the journey to that HEA. It’s always full of challenges, pain, triumph and joy - just like in life. The truth is in real life? We don’t always get that HEA, but we’ve all experienced some part of that journey to get it. What happens to us mentally, physically and emotionally, as we stumble our way down that path? It shapes who we are and how we interact with the world around us. That’s powerful. I started writing because I wanted to see diverse characters taking that journey in sexy tales I hungered to read. Everybody deserves their HEA, and you can have it within the pages of a book no matter what. That’s magic! Oh, and I also like to dash my characters against those sharp emotional rocks and see how they hold up. What’s a great romance story without broken characters trying to figure out how to love themselves to let love in?" /przeżywanie intensywnych emocji

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"Writers can create worlds and magic systems that add an enchanting backdrop to romantic relationships. In romance fantasy writing, there are no strict rules governing the world or the characters. This provides writers with the freedom to create unique and unexpected plot twists, keeping readers engaged and surprised. The possibilities are endless. In essence, writing romance fantasy allows authors to blend the emotional intensity of romance with the limitless possibilities of fantasy, resulting in stories that captivate readers with their magical allure." /romanse fantasy pozwalają na więcej możliwości i zaskoczenie czytelnika

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Bridgertonowie W serialu rola kobiety w społeczeństwie jest jasno zarysowana - ma być zależna od męża, nie może rozwijać swoich zainteresowań poza małym zakresem tych akceptowalnych cyzli muzyka i sztuka, zajmownaie się domem.

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Traditionally, women have not been expected to confront fear and go beyond it. They have been encouraged to avoid what scares them, taught, from the time they were very young, to do only those things that allow them to feel comfortable and secure. In fact women were not trained for freedom at all, they were trained for dependency. Up to a point, dependency needs are quite normal, for men as well as for women. But women have been encouraged since they were children to be dependent; this kind of dependence upbringing is now seen as psychologically unhealthy by the contemporary society. Any woman who looks within knows that she was never trained to feel comfortable with the idea of taking care of herself, standing up for herself, asserting herself. At best she may have played the game of independence, inwardly envying the boys (and later the men) because they seemed so naturally self-sufficient. /rola kobiety była inna, kiedyś kobiety były uczone by być zależne od mężczyzn - syndrom kopciuszka w książkach - wszystko się im przytrafia

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Kompleks Kopciuszka po raz pierwszy opisała Colette Dowling, która napisała książkę o lęku kobiet przed niezależnością – nieświadomym pragnieniu, by ktoś się nimi zaopiekował. Mówi się, że kompleks staje się bardziej widoczny wraz z wiekiem osoby. Nazwa kompleksu pochodzi od bajkowej postaci Kopciuszka

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Today, we are so overwhelmed with information that reading books has become a refreshing respite. One of the best things about reading books is its ability to focus your attention for an extended period of time.

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Critics ofthe fantasy genre believe that indulging in fantasy stories can shift a person's focus to less productive matters. They argue that it tempts readers into avoiding the realities of life by putting off real-world responsibilities and evading serious personal issues. To these people, fantasy equates to useless daydreaming and nostalgia. "In fact, they conclude, fantasy is evasive, escapist, and counterproductive" (Pamela S. Gates). Several people oppose these beliefs. While they acknowledge that fantasy may encourage the evasion of real-life problems, they argue that the value of the genre cannot be overlooked. Fantasy, they propose, provides not only a temporary, healthy Dreaming is another human survival mechanism, proven essential to mental health by scientific studies. Entering a dream state on a regular basis refreshes the mind in order to cope with the demands of a new day. In dream deprivation experiments, where subjects are deprived of REM sleep (i.e., dreamstage sleep) mental deterioration occurs rapidly. Without dreams, without fantasy, we become shells of our potential selves. Fantasy is therefore important to mental well being, particularly for the young adult reader. It provides a momentary escape, a release. It helps increase the potential of ones' imagination to solve life's problems. It can help resolve emotional conflicts and alleviate teen anxieties.

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"I think it can be, especially in context. A) If this is the only thing you want to read, and the alternative is to not read (assuming this isn't distracting you from completing something more important), then I would say yes because the act of reading itself provides many benefits (language skills, cognitive functions, etc). B) I read non-fiction during the day, but at bed I read fantasy because it helps distract/calm my mind, making it easier to fall asleep. If I read non-fiction at bedtime, my mind would be spinning with thought processes, trying to remember details, planning, etc. So here, again, I'd say yes because reading fantasy enables me to get more/better sleep (which increases productivity)." /czytanie pozwala oczyścić umysł i dzieki temu możemy być bardziej produktywni

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Książki fantasy – korzyści z ich czytania Pierwszą, najbardziej oczywistą i największą zaletą czytania książek fantasy jest pobudzenie naszej wyobraźni. Zgłębiając losy tajemniczych stworzeń, czy to faunów, czy smoków, czy humanoidalnych robotów, możemy polegać tylko na sobie. Postacie, ziemia, niebo, krajobrazy – to my nadajemy im kształt, to my powołujemy je do życia. Wszystko to sprawia, że nasza zdolność twórczego myślenia nabiera rozpędu, a my stajemy się coraz bardziej kreatywni. I chociaż ten miły stan najczęściej przerywa premiera ekranizacji, to wtedy – na szczęście – możemy narzekać, że w naszej głowie wszystko wyglądało lepiej. Drugą, niemniej ważną korzyścią czytania fantastyki jest ucieczka od rutyny. Lektura, czy to o podróżach w czasie, czy śmiercionośnych stworach, urozmaici każdą drogę, zwłaszcza tę do pracy lub na uczelnię. Z książką fantasy szybko zapomnisz o zbliżającym się stresie – odwrócisz bieg myśli, puścisz w niepamięć nadchodzące sprawozdania bądź egzaminy. Nieocenioną zaletą czytania fantastyki okaże się więc możliwość pogrążenia w nierzeczywistym świecie, a tym samym sposobność do chwilowego odprężenia. Bo w końcu czymże jest spotkanie z Sauronem wobec poniedziałkowego poranku? Trzecim atutem fantastyki jest przyjemność płynąca z bycia zaskakiwanym. Czytając o przygodach wilkołaków, magów lub superbohaterów, nigdy nie wiesz, czego się spodziewać – ze względu zarówno na postaci, jak i nieodgadnioną scenerię. W książkach fantasy autorzy i autorki dają upust swojej wyobraźni. Śmierć protagonisty, przepowiadające przyszłość wrony bądź wskrzeszenie umarłych – tego rodzaju zwroty fabularne to chleb powszedni. Dzięki temu czytelnicy i czytelniczki fantastyki nie mogą narzekać na nudę, w ich lekturach zagadkowe wątki dwoją się i troją.

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Why are men obsessed with sports?

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Introduction

Earlier this week I was blessed with the opportunity to watch my cousin play football in one of the most famous football stadiums in London. It was my first time going to a football match, and though it was only an under 18’s game, the atmosphere was electric, and it really got me thinking. Why is football a thing? I am not referring to the art of football, yes I say art because I appreciate it is a sophisticated sport that takes practice, intentionality and mastery. Footballers whipping their bodies in shape, often sacrificing their childhoods for a 10 year slice of fame, prime and success; so yes I will pay my accolades to the sport.

Why are modern men obsessed with football?

Modern men are obsessed with football, or mainstream sports for that matter often because of one reason… It speaks to their desires.

Because the modern world for the everyday man is devoid of spirituality, which was the main reason for not only permitting a life of toil, but seeking suffering head on, in a form called sacrifice. This was mans highest calling.

This calling explains why the generation from our grandparents and above were content fighting in a war, not knowing if they would ever come back to see their families, because they believed they were doing the right thing to protect their country.

In many ways I would argue that men do not want to avoid suffering by any means, men actually seek out suffering, but the right kind, the noble kind of suffering that provides a sense of purpose and meaning for ones life. This principle explains why so many turn to the gym as a method of noble suffering, the desire to suffer for a high purpose is encrypted in their DNA.

To add further to this point of disempowerment that men feel due to a lack of calling, many men feel threatened by the societal empowerment of women. Women are educated now and at a much higher rate than men, Women have jobs now, And in many cases women earn as much as men; women don’t even need a man physically to bear children any more, leading men to internalise a feeling of uselessness in their value to women.

I believe that this leads men to seek out other men, in like suffering and form groups, crowds, or ‘mass mobs’ as Le Bon would deem it, and football clans is certainly one. Group psychologists would argue that in groups, these men are liberated from the torment of their psyche, and able to latch onto a group identity, one that masks their bruised sense of masculinity with a caricatured version of masculine bravado. So men go to stadiums, or should I say modern day colosseums and watch football matches, they cheer and laugh, the scream and shout, they fight and drink, because it makes them feel like part of something greater than themselves.For the moments that they are part of this mass consciousness of a mob they are distracted from the feelings of insecurity, lack of control over their conscious life. The crowd becomes the escape.

Due to a lack of higher purpose, Juvenal would argue that mens purpose now lies in two things, bread and circuses. Juvenal Juvenal was a poet in Roman times, who complained that men had become selfish, and his phrase ‘bread and circuses’ came to symbolise that the masses, rather than revolt for a higher cause could easily be subdued by their desire for food, sustenance and entertainment. He made this apparent when he said …

“Give the people bread and circuses and they will never revoltt” – Juvenal, Roman poet. AD 60 to 130

I’ve also noticed some videos of Bill Cooper re-circulating on the internet and a prolific quote of him relaying the nature of the Roman Circus is very fitting.

“It’s the Roman Circus. What does the Emperor do when the people become restive, and when the people are asking questions. When the people don’t like the policies of the Emperor, he sends them to circus! He creates a circus, fills a giant coliseum, and he begins to throw the Christians to the lions. And he has great chariot races. And football games. And basketball games. All to keep the idiots preoccupied with things that don’t mean anything in the scheme of the entire world.” – Mr Bill Cooper

To elaborate on the sense of purpose point that football culture provides to the average man, we can delve a little further. We have established that modern men need a noble cause to suffer for, a righteous war to fight in, and since modern society doesn’t cater to such desires anymore modern men turn to the football match. They watch two teams battle it out in the stadium, advocating for one and hating the other. If their team wins its roars of laughter, and shouts of joy, if their team loses its tears, violence, and abusive calls. The stakes are very high, so high that it is almost as if the fans are the players themselves. Like the Romans in the coliseum watching the gladiators fight to the death, this was a form of mass catharsis, a chance for the viewers to act out their wildest dreams of becoming the noble knight, the man with a high calling, a noble purpose vicariously through a screen, or in a stadium. We know the ferociousness of this desire to win, to the extent that domestic violence and racial abuse goes up when England team loses, an air we are all familiar with when the cup didn’t make it home in 2021.

Why is football encouraged on a state level?

Whilst some would say the main purpose is to control the masses, I would argue that this isn’t the case. Rather it is to distract the masses into submission. If you can entertain a man, or society to such a state that they become docile and submissive to whatever you do to them, it is far more powerful and sinister than any direct form of physical control, this is something Orwell showed us in 1984.

“Heavy physical work, the care of home and children, petty quarrels with neighbours, films, football, beer, and above all, gambling, filled up the horizon of their minds. To keep them in control was not difficult. [ … ] It was not desirable that the proles should have strong political feelings. All that was required of them was a primitive patriotism … […] And even when they became discontented, as they sometimes did, their discontent led nowhere, because being without general ideas, they could only focus it on petty specific grievances. The larger evils invariably escaped their notice.” – Gerogre Orwell, 1984

Is there hope that the masses will gain consiousness?

One can only hope that the masses would wake up, become aware of their needs, desires, shortcomings, and how they are being manipulated for the gain of others. I mean football is a trillion dollar industry and it is only so big because, the masses have a demand for it. There is a reason footballers get paid significantly more than nurses, or doctors. Because people value entertainment and escapism more than they value life itself. Its certainly a scary truth to accept. Man wants to be distracted through life into a casket. The sad thing is that the masses do not realise the power they have in numbers, that is why they must be subdued into docility, but can you image if we all decided to say no to dangerous escapism and face life head on?

I do believe there is hope, and it starts with individuals being more consious and aware of their unconsious desires, and how they are being manipulated. Orwell depicted this hope clearly in the qutote below:

“If there was hope, it must lie in the proles, because only there, in those swarming disregarded masses, eighty-five percent of the population of Oceania, could the force to destroy the Party ever be generated….But the proles, if only they could somehow become conscious of their own strength, would have no need to conspire. They need only to rise up and shake themselves like a horse shaking off flies. If they chose they could blow the Party to pieces tomorrow morning. Surely sooner or later it must occur to them to do it.” – George Orwell, 1984

Like Orwell, I too lament the pacification of the masses, if only people were awake to understand the power in numbers, a lot could change; potentially for the better. But I have come to bring my focus not onto the masses, but onto myself. In what ways can I become more aware of the seductiveness of the modern entertainment coliseums, and how can I limit my exposure accordingly? These are questions I ask myself, and the conclusion isn’t necessarily to hide out in the woods somewhere and get rid of every form of entertainment, or to never attend a football match ever again…No! That isn’t the point of this article, rather I hope to bring to your conscious awareness the desires that are often manipulated by large entertainment industries, so you can make more informed decisions over your life, and not be a slave to your unconscious desires.

Thank you for reading. I write poetry, social commentary, short stories, personal essays and I would love to meet you here on another one of my posts.

Disclaimers for this article:

1) If you are our overseas American cousins, I know footie or should I say “soccer” isn’t as big over there, but feel free to apply this to whatever you guys watch across the pond, be it NFL, NBA and even the Super Bowl.

2) I have mostly spoken in generalisations here, I talk about why men love sports – that is because when the majority of sports fans are male, it means it speaks to something in the male psyche in particular. That isn’t to say there aren’t female sports fans to whom this message can apply to as well. However I will say the general vice for women in terms of our colosseum happens appears to exist in the space of movies, tv shows and programmes. Different spheres but the same fundamental tenets, I hope to go on to discuss the dangers of the entertainment industry in another article!