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can y’all just imagine if in Breaking Dawn when Bella’s spewing her whole ‘I can’t tell you’ bullshit to Charlie in her own stupid cryptic way, he just stops her and goes ‘So is this much bigger than the vampire thing’ CAN Y’ALL IMAGINE HOW SHOOK THE ENTIRE CULLEN HOUSEHOLD WOULD BE??? 

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pov but is bella in bd pt 1 showing emmet and jasper how edward watched her sleep

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An idea of what the Twilight vamps can look like in the sun: 

1. They look the way they did when they died: 

- Carlisle has a bite mark on his wrist and his arm hangs weirdly, like his shoulder was out of it’s socket, body still hunched over in pain. 

- Jasper has a bloody bite on the juncture between his shoulder and neck, another on the other side to match, always bleeding and always burning. 

- Edward looks like a living corpse, hectic spots of red on his cheeks from the fever, all skin and bones, a bloody bite on his wrist, his face and body gaunt. 

- Esme’s stomach is slightly swollen, her neck bent at an impossible angle and her spine all twisted and broken, dried tears on her cheeks, a bloody bite on her throat. 

- Alice is all skin and bones, hollow eyes and gaunt body, twitching periodically like she can still feel the electricity zipping through her body, a bite on her shoulder. 

- Rosalie is all bloody and beaten up, half dead, lips swollen and bitten raw, dried blood on the insides of her thighs, a broken collarbone, broken leg, and 4 bruised ribs, she hisses out in pain every time she moves, a bite on her throat. 

- Emmett is a bloody mess, his clothes all shredded and body twisted in pain, deep gashes across his chest and abdomen and legs, his body broken, a deep bite on his neck. 

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Ok I'm trying to sleep but I had this thought and it won't go so:

In Twilight, Edwards only, what, just over 100 right? Can you imagine being Bella, and listening to Edward angst on and on about being immortal and seeing time pass you by, but then finding out that it's only been a century???

"Bro, you're only slightly older than some people who just lived a good life, get over yourself. Carlisle is the only bitch I respect in this house"

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Carlisle Cullen (23) Esme Anne Platt Cullen (26)

(Tools: Artbreeder, Sai 2)

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I like to think that these days, Carlisle visits Charlie every now and again and they watch ball together. And Charlie always gives him a beer and Carlisle always says, “You understand I won’t drink this, yes?” and Charlie says yes, but he feels better if they both have a beer and so Carlisle just sits there with a beer he doesn’t drink, and they enjoy the game together.

I have high hopes that eventually Billy came around, too, and it’s all three of them.

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If I was in twilight

*out hunting with the cullens*

Me: Cracking open some boys with the cold ones.

Carlisle: nO-

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Bella (casually): The Cullens seem nice, they’re all very pretty.

Charlie (not even slightly casually): Wait ‘til you see their dad. He is hot, no, like hot hot. Alas, married, but still… wow.

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He was checking her out.

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Literally the best part of Breaking Dawn is Renesmee getting sad that she doesn’t sparkle like the others, and Bella saying “You’re the prettiest” followed immediately by Edward saying “I have to disagree” right in front of her

Like I get Edward can’t turn off the Bella Compliment Machine but imagine being self conscious about your looks and your mom is like “oh honey I think you’re the best looking one here.” And then your dad walks in like “What? No she’s not.”

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There are so many plot holes in twilight you could strain pasta through it

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carlisle when hearing his emo son stopped a car in front of the entire school

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Bella: I can’t dance

Edward: Well, I could always make you

Carlisle in the kitchen, being forced to listen to his son behaving like a shady serial killer:

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In Conversation With A Himbo

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Twilight:

Midnight Sun:

No Edward, she thinks your dad is a dilf

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*the Cullen family playing hot potato with Edward’s severed head*

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