twerk4mothman - Tumblr blog

[twerk4mothman]

[twerk4mothman]

[twerk4mothman]

Happy 21st of September!

[twerk4mothman]

It’s him….

It’s Shrimp who fries the rice…

[twerk4mothman]

[twerk4mothman]

I just learned this fact and I can't help but share it with you!!!

In 13th-century European castles, separate fortresses were rarely built. Instead, one of the towers was significantly larger than the others and served as sleeping quarters for the lord or the king and his family.

Medieval life was full of changes and conflicts. Periods of peace were often interrupted by wars and sieges. To protect the ruler and his family, spiral staircases were built in the towers, winding clockwise. This design made it harder for attackers, as defenders could strike while using the wall as a shield, whereas attackers, especially right-handed ones, faced difficulties.

Additionally, the steps were uneven in height and length, making it easier for defenders, familiar with the layout, to move quickly. Attackers, in heavy armor and unfamiliar with the stairs, risked losing balance. This design significantly complicated sieges, particularly when climbing upward, giving defenders an advantage.

Thus, clockwise spiral staircases were not only convenient but also a crucial part of defensive strategy.

[twerk4mothman]

This blog has been telling you not to trust pelicans for over a decade and this is why

[twerk4mothman]

[twerk4mothman]

I wanted to revisit sock princess

[twerk4mothman]

okay but i'm DYING about the idea of lambert having stumbled on lettenhove one day injured from a hunt and on death's door, and jaskier's servants see a wolf medallion and just assume oh!! this must be the lord's witcher!! no idea where the *white* wolf is coming from but what other witcher would come so close to a place that rarely has contracts

and listen. lambert's half gone with bloodloss and potions and isn't 100% present when he's being ushered inside. and even after he's fully conscious again...listen. he's getting breakfast in bed. he's getting baths. he's getting "sir"d. he's getting his stuff washed and mended for him.

he has no clue who the FUCK this julian person is, but he apparently?? just likes witchers?? weirdo, but he's not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

and after that he just...keeps doing it. the lord is never there and has apparently not cleared up *which* witcher he means, and he can smell that no other witchers come here. so sweet. alright. free place to crash that's fully catered.

and he passes this along to eskel, naturally, one day when they meet on the road. lambert's learned that the lord has a smaller home in town and listen he's got dibs on the country estate, but eskel tends to get along with people better anyway, so he can have the townhouse. and eskel doesn't plan to actually do it (he is HEAVILY judging his lil brother, but he won't wreck this for him even if it's a bad idea), but one day he's injured and HAS to have a place to stay to heal. and listen. it's worth a shot.

and then it WORKS.

so lambert and eskel FOR YEARS have these simultaneous pseudo-hussles going on. they still don't know who this viscount is, but he's never home, and they're nice to the servants and help out with stuff like carrying heavy things around, so they're always welcome. and it's nice. having a place to Be.

aaaaaaaand then geraskier happens and jaskier goes to take geralt home to meet people, they get there, jaskier goes "this is the white wolf" and every. single. servant. is like "no????? no he's not????"

[twerk4mothman]

Dogs have had many jobs throughout history, in this case: Revenge.

[twerk4mothman]

There was this guy in the 1800s - I can't remember his name, but his name is recorded somewhere - who honestly argued that if given the choice between a beautiful woman and a heron, deep down in their most earnest true heart, every man would rather fuck the heron. And he got mad when people denied this, continuing to deny this what he had decided must be an universal truth, instead of praising him for being the only one who was brave enough to finally say it out loud. Like he really thought that every single person telling him "Jesse what the hell are you talking about" was not only denying him, but denying themselves their true desires and perpetuating the apparently massive cultural lie that herons aren't fuckable.

Anyway what I'm saying here is that every once in a while whenever you find yourself in a situation where nobody else is willing to agree with something that you consider the most obvious truth, take a moment to meditate on the possibility that perhaps they do mean what they say, and perhaps they are right. Maybe nobody else but you wants to fuck the heron.

[twerk4mothman]

the sexless lesbians who say every horny thought makes them "no better than a man" might kill me for this but regarding chappell roan's ass in the tight chainmail and thigh-high plate armor forming a pseudo-garterbelt situation, it needs to be said: AWOOGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HUBBA HUBBA WOWEEEEEEEEEEEEE HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[twerk4mothman]

[twerk4mothman]

WIP

[twerk4mothman]

Cats are human version of a child ♡