turquoisedragonmaster

[turquoisedragonmaster]

Good news that we deserve 😌

[turquoisedragonmaster]

I know that officially Doctor Mario is just Mario dressed as a doctor, but I choose to believe that he’s Mario from an alternate timeline because it’s the option that lends itself to shenanigans.

Doctor Mario: Welp gotta head home. It’s our anniversary tomorrow and we’ve got an early flight to Delfino we have to catch

Mario:

Doctor Mario: Y’know most people follow that up with a little, ‘hey, happy anniversary’ or-

Mario: You’re married??

Doctor Mario:

Doctor Mario: You’re not????

Mario: No!! Who are you married to?????

Doctor Mario: To Tony!!!

Mario:

Doctor Mario:

Mario: WHO’S TONY??????

Doctor Mario: WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘WHO’S TONY’???????????

[turquoisedragonmaster]

Alien pulling your sleeve to get your attention: and who is this Cunt you all serve

[turquoisedragonmaster]

"Why was Steve Irwin praised for free handling venomous animals, yet freehandlers today are condemned?"

(I live in the US, so this post and reference to law makers/the hobby is very US centric. Keep that in mind as you read, please) Let's pull back and take a look at -how- the free handling was approached when it came to Steve. At the beginning of each of his shows, there were several warnings posted, telling viewers how dangerous what he was doing was, not to try it at home, and that he is a trained professional with years of experience and access to anti venom. These warnings were repeated several times through out the the episode, both by Steve himself and the narrator. The animals were treated with respect, he would often avoid the head being to close to him, and he did it to show the lack of maliciousness of these animals. He also had an entire crew with him, so if he were to get bit he could be transported for treatment quickly and efficiently. His entire goal was education, not clout. Free handling keepers nowadays (A majority of the time) do not have any warnings on their free handling photos and videos. They post selfies with these dangerously venomous animals as if it's the most normal thing for regular people to handle them. There's nothing saying that it's dangerous, that it should only be done by professionals, etc. This encourages people who post on the internet for clout to try this, because it gets them attention. These people regularly have the faces of the animals close to their body, and in their hands, again, with no 'do not try this at home' warnings. Just photos as if the animal is not venomous. In a lot of places, training is not required to own venomous animals. You can go online, buy a venomous snake, and often times the person selling the venomous snake won't even ask questions. Dangerous animals are easier than ever to get a hold of, which makes the nonchalance of free handlers even more dangerous. It's not about putting themselves in danger, it's about encouraging others to do the same. Often time these venomous keepers that freehandle do so alone, with no one else around. In the event of a bite, the person may not be able to transport themselves to a hospital for treatment. They often also don't have anti venom on hand. A free handler getting bitten and dying can put the entire reptile keeping hobby in danger because the vast majority of people who write laws, know nothing about the difference in species. They do not care if the snakes are venomous or not, they will see that someone died from a snake bite, see all snakes and go 'this is dangerous' whether it be a corn snake or a cobra.

[turquoisedragonmaster]

Oh yeah there's a part 2 of the horse desensitizing that I love.

🐎: Hey what's with that tiny predator, the one you're hold- WOAH WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS IT UP SO HIGH

[turquoisedragonmaster]

funniest fucking thing

[turquoisedragonmaster]

Imagine having been born in 1905... And all your life it doesn't fucking stop. The Great War, the Spanish Flu, and then you go out of your mind for 7 years. Everyone is traumatised and nothing matters. Then another crash. And then the rise of fascism, and the War to end all Wars didn't and it's 1945 and you're just about still there. You may have fought or ferried the boys from Dunkirk or sabotaged the Nazi occupiers or worked in the factories and put out fires during the Blitz and you're lucky to be alive, because not all your friends made it. But you are and finally, fucking finally, it stops. It stops. You are tough as nails and you can put that strength to work into building something and you do, and people have cars and can buy icecream and you have a pension fund and the kids have money of their own and no nightmares.

I want that for us. I so want that for us. I want to be the generation that has seen fucking everything and is like a MRSA bug and unfazed and when that Cheeto finally dies, I want us to. Plant the gardens and clean the seas because we can and we want to and we remember some joy, some time of trust even when it got broken and we can say to the 20 somethings "let us show you what we can build, how it can feel."

And maybe Gen beta will take it all for granted like the boomers did, but we can give Gen Z and Alpha some peace because we, and Gen Z and Alpha have seen the Dark Times and fuck that noise.

[turquoisedragonmaster]

Today, March 27th, is Uni’s 5th birthday!

Thank you for coming into my life.

Please say "Happy Birthday Uni" to him! :3

[turquoisedragonmaster]

Fun fact: by just using imaginary numbers, some Evil Math, and 101 rotating vectors You Can Create a shitty approximation of a fish.

[turquoisedragonmaster]

Happy Birthday Big Bill!

[turquoisedragonmaster]

I don't normally post photos or talk about the protest actions I participate in, but I was at the Chicago Stand Up For Science rally on behalf of my job recently and this sign took me out at the knees.

[turquoisedragonmaster]

[turquoisedragonmaster]

every time i see someone call kirk and spock the oldest ship, i'm filled with the urge to go "hmm actually the holmes and watson girlies have been here for a hundred years now", and i refrain because i know the natural conclusion of this game is gilgamesh and enkidu

[turquoisedragonmaster]

return to form i guess

[turquoisedragonmaster]

That guy who fell asleep during a 24 hour marathon playing majora’s mask will always be fucking hilarious

[turquoisedragonmaster]

this shit is the only remaining good part of twitter

[turquoisedragonmaster]

A Refined Ant With Expensive Taste Attempts to Steal a Loose Diamond From Wholesaler’s Desk