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Here's a mural outside city hall in Santa Fe...what a beautiful city with amazing intriguing art all around. More on Santa Fe later

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Sporting an amazing outfit near the natural hot springs in Taos, NM

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Three Poems I Wrote Today on the Mountaintop

1

Cedar wind clears nostrils clean

Feathers tickle finger(tips)

Yellow rays select some shade

2

Stroke the fire smell the smoke

Sift the ashes down

Let snow reach our ancestors

3

A raven is like a crow

But magestical

It may be the bird's black beak

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Today and yesterday I visited Mesa Verde, CO. It is a National Park and inside the park are thousands of dwellings, dating from 500 AD to 1300 AD. Most of the dwellings are the first hogans, on top of the Mesa, and were built up until 1200 AD--then the people began moving down into the cervices of the Mesa and building with sandstone and mortar. Of the some 4,000 dwellings, only 600 are cliff dwellings and were only built the last 100 years the Ancestral Puebloans lived in Mesa Verde. They look amazing from the outside, but even more amazing is how many rooms they have inside--some up to 60-80! No one knows why exactly they moved, but there are many logical speculations (including shelter from the elements and dwindling resources). I toured two of the major villages, Cliff House and Balcony House. 

Cliff House is thought to be a ceremonial place, because it has the most kivas of any of the dwellings--it is haunting and beautiful. Our guide was adorable--his name is PT and he sounded like, and looked a bit like, Jason Segal. (Pictures 1 and 2)

Balcony House is the most interesting: we had to climb down extremely steep stairs on the cliffside as well as up a 32 foot ladder to reach the first courtyard. Then we walked through a small crevice to get to the second courtyard. To exit we crawled through a small tunnel (the only way the people would get in and out) and up three more ladders to the top. It was an adventure! You could feel the difference in space and vibration between the two houses; this one was obviously lived in. Our Balcony House Guide was a man named John--John looked like if Smokey the Bear was your grandpa with a white beard, care-bear eyes and witty humor. (Pictures 3, 4)

The 5th Photo is of the inside of one of the towers looking up. If you look closely you can see a painting that is fading on the wall. (Cliff House)

At Balcony House there is also a fading painting...one which they are debating restoring. Ranger John said they are in talks with the Puebloans about this, but that they say that Everything has a beginning and an end. The man who drew this know that one day it would fade away. I like that idea, and I hope they don't restore it. 

John ended our tour with a story and a Native American proverb. The story was he was at a Native American festival and spoke with many people; told them he was a Ranger and such. He asked one woman, is there anything you'd like me to say to people? She said "Yes! That we are still here." The point is that Mesa Verde is not the end to a story, but a middle; those people moved on (to New Mexico, to Arizona) and their children live on.

The proverb he recited went something like this, "Treat the land well. It was not given to you. You did not inherit it from your parents, you are borrowing it from your children." 

The last photo is from almost the highest point in MV in the morning. 

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On Wednesday I decided to drive through the reservation and visited the Hopi Village of Hotevilla. I called ahead and was greeted there by a wonderful man named Eldric. He works out of the community center with youth and elderly, he tells me as we walk the yellow dirt path he's been walking since he was a child, down to the older houses (hogans) and kivas. Kivas are sacred places of gathering--the men have their own, as do the women--and are used for ceremonial purposes as well as social and are a tradition well over 1,000 years old. Both the original hogans and kivas are made from a white/yellow stone, and the kivas each have a hole in the roof with a ladder to descend into the room. 

Near the kivas is the Plaza of the community, where dances and social gatherings take place. Sitting in the Plaza as we arrive are three jovial women sitting, shucking corn, laughing. Two of the women are older, one with short hair, one with long, each adorned with a silver crown, ripening to jet black at the ends; their skin is beautiful and sun-kissed. They are Eldric's 'aunties' and light up when he comes near. They joke in Hopi but speak English to tell me about their process of farming and shucking corn.

We then descend to the terrace garden and spring below. While at the community center and school they have power, the lines stop before the original part of the village; everyone who lives in there lives without electricity by choice. They use kerosene and drink from the spring (the spring also waters the terrace garden). I drank some of the spring water and it was the best water that's ever touched my lips--crisp, clean, it felt like it was cleansing me from the inside. The irrigating spring (which you can see pictures of on their Facebook) used to be much deeper and could be a swimming pool--Eldric would swim there as a child--though now it's been shallowed to be more effective. The elders were against this because it is said that there lived a serpent (two serpents, really, a male and female) and that shallowing the waters would trap them at the bottom.

The hospitality I experienced was breathtaking...Eldric showed me his home (which like many others has been there since 1906, with slight remodeling). He showed me pictures of his sister's recent wedding and where the women bake Piki or "paper bread," made from blue cornmeal. 

Though the Hopi have a Tribal Council, Hotevilla does not participate in it. They govern themselves. Hotevilla and it's people live simply, though it is a place of rich gratitude and spirituality. Happiness comes from thriving off the land and its resources, delighting in what this world has to offer, and remembering the other worlds. 

There is so much I can say about this place, and stories I was told--including the story behind the second photo, which is a Petroglyph on a boulder called "Prophesy Rock,"* but I feel they are better said in person. So the next time I see you, remind me to read you my journal and what I learned.

*You can read about Prophesy Rock online, a lot of New Age people make "pilgrimage" there, but aren't taken seriously by the Hopi. The way Eldric told the story (there are many interpretations) is the way I like to remember it. PS. on the bottom right corner of the photo, you can see some vandals who tried, very poorly, to add to the petroglyph.

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Looking down in Montezuma valley from Mesa Verde in CO

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AZ, CO, UT, NM

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Navajo fry bread is one of the best things I've ever tasted!

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Inside a rainbow driving from Grand Canyon to Tuba City--one of the first trading posts

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Hey all! I made it to the Grand Canyon and Tuba City (Navajo Nation) yesterday...this video is from that--didn't have Internet so I couldn't post. Next I'm off to Hopi Nation and Chinle!

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Here I go! 

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Here is a map of my route! Seems daunting

Please if you know of a great place along the way, tell me about it! Either in or around my stops:

Grand Canyon, AZ

Mesa Verde, CO

Santa Fe, Albequerque NM

El Paso, TX

Austin, TX

New Orleans

Montgomery, AL

ATL, GA

Savannah, GA

Charleston, SC

Emerald Bay, NC

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I Can't Get No (Satisfaction)

“Mommy, I hate my nose, I want a nose job.”

“Honey, I hate my boobs, they sag. I want a boob job.”

“Doc, I just can’t handle these wrinkles on my forehead. Or this saggy pocket on my thighs. I’m not old yet! Give me surgery!”

  How much do we all complain about our bodies? A lot. Even if we do not take action on it, we still annoy our parents, friends, spouses and whoever else will listen about how much we hate ourselves. But, those who have the time, money and desire to do so, will change their bodies. And in some cases, never stop. Plastic surgery is in abundance in Western culture today, just look around. I can spot Judy G., and five other women’s cheek implants from 50 feet away. Among those who opt for plastic surgery as a means to better their life, there are those who only want one aspect of themselves to look different, better maybe. But there are others who, when one problem is solved, another is created: so they find a doctor who will do anything and morph their bodies into a plastic figure from the swinging 60s. Then there are those who have surgery to ease their (alternative) mental issues. And then there are those whose lives and mental health depends on a surgery that no one will perform.

  Body Integrity Identity Disorder, or BIID, is a psychological condition in which the individual requests an elective amputation. Individuals with this condition experience the persistent desire to have their body physically match the idealized image they have of themselves.

This desire forces individuals to deal with the paradox of losing one or more major limbs (i.e. arm[s] or leg[s]) to become whole. In their minds, "less is more." This disorder is different from your average Body Dysmorphic Disorder case. For BDD sufferers, the surgery never ends, for BIID sufferers the surgery is their only hope.

  These individuals are not psychotic. In fact, a diagnosis of psychosis excludes a diagnosis of BIID. BIID has been most commonly compared to Gender Identity Disorder (GID). A common factor is the individuals in both conditions relate their feelings and urges as present since their pre-adolescent years. The trigger appears to be the sight of an amputee. Many individuals can clearly recall the first amputee they saw resulting in a "recognition" response of their hitherto vague feelings of discomfort. This may be as early in life as age 4 or 5.

  Currently, the psychiatric and psychological communities are working to more clearly define the condition and treatment options. Research in this area is very minimal. As a result, every answer leads to more questions.

Based on the limited information known, males are much more often affected than females, but the ratio is not defined. Due to the nature of the disorder, accurate numbers for the occurrence in the general population are undetermined.

The causes?

First, the sight of an amputee in infancy imprints the child's psyche and the child feels that that should be their body image. Second, a child may feel unloved and by becoming an amputee may attract sympathy and love. There are always strong positive thoughts about becoming an amputee. The third is that desire is an external manifestation of an unresolved internal conflict. Or fourth,

condition is a neuro-psychological condition in which there is a structural or functional anomaly of the cerebral cortex (higher part of the brain) related to the limb(s).

  Most BIID sufferers have all or a combination of the following symptoms; a feeling of "incompleteness and disability" as a four limbed individual but a certainty of a feeling of "completeness and enablement" after amputation; a fixed idea about the limb and the level of amputation required; a feeling of intense jealousy at the sight of an amputee; feelings of shame and unworthiness about the feelings. These individuals feel completely alone and do not believe anyone else can suffer from such bizarre ideas. They may have been in psychiatric treatment without ever informing the therapists of their underlying desire; repeated episodes of depression and sometimes suicidal thoughts. Sometimes there have been plans of self-injury to achieve amputation such as by using shot guns, burning or deliberately infecting wounds; failure of the currently available psychiatric treatments to resolve their problem; rehearsal activity (pretending) during which they imitate the amputated state in private and in public.

BIID patients appear to seek amputation in order to achieve their perceived body image, but not for vanity, for mental and emotional ease. BIID is linked to transsexuals, schizophrenia, personality disorders, depressed patients who mutilate themselves, and patients with Body Dysmorphic Disorder. These transsexuals, schizophrenics, personality disorders and depressed or confused people do mutilate themselves and are all treated as mentally ill. They can seek help for their predicaments and doctors who will treat them. All of these peoples self mutilate for reasons from a response to a delusional belief that the body part is defective or bad, to disinhibition or poor judgment, to response to some perceived physical imperfection, or to assume a physical appearance (of the opposite sex, of an amputee, etc). BIID is even linked to patients with Factitious Disorder; so eager to enter the sick person's role that they will intentionally produce psychological or physical symptoms.

The idea of having extreme elective surgery, even when it involves mutilation or removal of healthy tissue, has met at least some acceptance in cases like sex reassignment, or cosmetic surgery for those who hate their noses or breasts even when those body parts are objectively fine. But an obsessive desire for a limb amputation - one that drives people to cut off healthy arms and legs - tests the tolerance of even the most open-minded.

  Body integrity identity disorder has led people to injure themselves with guns or chain saws in desperate efforts to force surgical amputations. A few have sought out amputations abroad, including one man who found a surgeon in California (who had lost his license more than 20 years earlier for several botched attempts at sex reassignment surgery). At a clinic in Tijuana, the surgeon, John Ronald Brown, 77, cut off the left leg of Philip Bondy, 79, of New York, who had paid him $10,000. Then Mr. Brown sent Mr. Bondy to a motel in a run-down section of San Diego to recover on his own.

Two days later, Mr. Bondy was dead of gangrene, and Mr. Brown was charged with second-degree murder. During the trial, newspaper reports said that Mr. Bondy had sought the operation to satisfy a "sexual craving." Mr. Brown was found guilty in October 1999 and sentenced to 15 years to life in prison.

  But not everyone is convinced: Dr. David Spiegel of Stanford said he believed that body integrity identity disorder sounded closer to either body dysmorphic disorder or anorexia nervosa, though he added that he had not seen any patients with the integrity disorder. The connection to anorexia, he said, is that people with B.I.I.D. "have a clearly mistaken belief about their bodies."

  So, why can these people not get help? Do they need surgery? Why is surgery not an option for them in today’s society?

  Dr. First, of Columbia University coined the term “Body Integrity Identity Disorder.” He speaks about similarity and difference between surgery like a sex change compared to BIID. "When the first sex reassignment was done in the 1950's, it generated the same kind of horror" that voluntary amputation does now, Dr. First said. "Surgeons asked themselves, 'How can I do this thing to someone that's normal?' The dilemma of the surgeon being asked to amputate a healthy limb is similar." Still, the analogy is imperfect. "It's one thing to say someone wants to go from male to female; they're both normal states," Dr. First said. "To want to go from a four-limbed person to an amputee feels more problematic. That idea doesn't compute to regular people."

  Every doctor must take an oath in order to receive his/her medical license. This Hippocratic Oath states that a doctor can do no harm to his/her patient. So, the argument in the medical community is, these people are crazy, and why in the world would you amputate a crazy person’s limb simply because they asked you to?

However, which is doing more harm, not allowing these people the opportunity for surgery, or performing surgery on them?

  Utilitarianism, specifically John Stuart Mill, preaches the greatest good for the most number of people. In that case, John Stuart Mill would most likely argue to please everyone. So, he would argue for the Wannabe amputees. Why shouldn’t any utilitarian when surgery will ease the mind of a sick person, especially when we have deemed sick people worthy of assistance in society. The happiness that these suffering peoples would achieve is enough to apply utilitarianism. After all, the Greatest Happiness principle is happiness with pleasure and freedom from pain.

  However, the removing one's limb(s) is an issue that does not solely concern the individual, but the doctor involved and the community. Essentially, a person is making his/herself handicapped, which may have implications for society, and taxes. Why should taxpayers pay to accommodate more handicapped people, let alone a handicapped person who chose to be that way. And, because there are less people with the disorder than without it (an estimated several thousand suffer from BIID) then happiness for the most people would be in favor of those without BIID.

  However, if the unhappiness of BIID sufferers is more than the happiness of the public, than the argument favors the surgery-option. According to Mill, these BIID sufferers would be considered more virtuous than a noble person performing the surgery, because utilitarianism states that one achieves virtue when one’s sacrifice brings more happiness. So, in that sense, these people sacrifice their ‘normal’ lives, and achieve greater happiness.  And the general public becomes virtuous as well because they sacrifice for the greater happiness of the sufferers.

  Now, perhaps the problem is that there needs to be another form of treatment for these people. However, therapy does not work for most and the majority believes (and many have experienced) that surgery is their cure.

Dr. Spiegel expressed more faith in psychotherapy, especially something called response prevention and thought-stopping. "It involves training the patient to try and block the thought when it comes up," he said, "and to keep him from trying to act on it."

None of the subjects in Dr. First's study reported being helped by therapy or medication, but Dr. First said that might be because they had not received "psychotherapy tailored to this disorder" or "high sustained doses" of medications used to treat related conditions like obsessive-compulsive disorder. He said more research was needed into treatment options and into whether amputation was an acceptable treatment "as a last resort."

  Dr. Robert Smith, of Falkirk and District Royal Infirmary in Scotland is one of the only doctors to have performed surgery on a BIID patient. He performed two surgeries before being expelled from the hospital and up against the ethics board.

“It gave me considerable pause for thought and it took me a year and a half of investigation before I agreed to do the first patient," he replied. "I became increasingly convinced that the patients had had very little success from their treatments by psychiatrists and psychologists over the years. These two patients had been fully assessed by two psychiatrists, one of whom has an interest in gender reassignment disorders, and also by a psychologist."

  The hospital's Ethics Committee was brought in after a sufferer in America made a request for an amputation. Trust chairman Ian Mullen said: "I don't believe it's appropriate for this type of operation to go ahead without consideration being given to the potential implications for the local reputation of the hospital and the concerns that might arise among the local population.”

  In Kant’s Universal Law theory, he states that what ever is considered moral, determined with a veil of ignorance, is therefore always moral and must be constant. Therefore, if it is conceived that easing one’s mental anguish, or in general to treat the sick, then it is always moral to do so. Kant further states that “a person’s moral worth cannot be dependant upon what nature endowed them with accidentally.” This statement rings true for any person more or less fortunate than others, from financially to mentally. Further, with the veil of ignorance over one’s eyes, one must assess what his/her desire would be if he/she were in the situation; I can say with almost 100% certainty that anyone who would potentially suffer would want to be cured. If equality reigns, then no one should suffer while others watch.

The utilitarian approach then, while valid, is still a system which “devalue[s] the individuals it is supposed to benefit…[and] allow[s] the valuation of one person’s welfare and interests in terms of what good they can be used for,” as Kant states. 

So, instead of being considered by their worth, BIID sufferers should be considered on an equal level, with as many rights to ease their pain as any.

  That said, the procedure cannot be performed for just anyone. Unless some kind of screening process is involved, there may be people who are not serious about being an amputee, and could cause more harm than good. However, if there is a system that can be worked out, much like the process one must go through to have sexual reassignment surgery, then surgery for BIID patients should be no problem. As in a sex change, there could be a requirement of a two-year therapy in which the person must see an analyst and be deemed a legitimate BIID case. This form of treatment seems like a viable, good option. And as Kant says, “goodness cannot arise from acting on impulse or natural inclination, even if impulse coincides with duty. It can only arise from conceiving of one’s actions in a certain way.” Therefore, as long as it is properly researched, it is entirely ethical to amputate a healthy limb from a BIID sufferer to achieve his/her ideal body image. And is entirely non-ethical that anti-BIID surgery behavior continues. 

Surgeon Defends Amputations. BBC News

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/625680.stm 

At War with Their Bodies, They Seek to Sever Limbs. New York Times. http://www.nytimes.com/2005/03/22/health/psychology/22ampu.html?pagewanted=2&_r=1&oref=slogin 

Kant’s Ethics. 

John Stuart Mill. Utilitarianism.