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actualdumpster‌:

kit spent his break where he did every other break: in the food court, with his legs spread over two seats and his boots hanging into the aisle. “so, have you heard what they’re saying about hot topic?” he asks the person nearest by. “that there’s bloodletting in the back room, that all the managers are vampires, that we’re required to get facial piercings.” kit presses his tongue against one of his snake bites. “i mean, i can’t believe they’re onto us.” 

just as fern was leaving the store for the day he was smacked in the nose by the friendly aroma of a spinach and feta pizza pie -- his favorite. he felt the urge that he always felt after six hours of standing on his feet to take a pie home and spark up. that’s what he’ll do, he decided, and as he began to pat down his pockets to feel for his wallet, kit chimes in. “fucking eh,” fern chuckled. “bloodletting, huh? no wonder you’re so pale.” he rolled his eyes at his friend. 

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psychefm‌:

“you saw a couple fuck in the ball pit?” newt replies with an arch of his brows, lips already curling in amusement a moment before he narrows his eyes and teases. “fern, you absolute pervert. you know, i never took you for the peeping type.” newt can’t help but smile as fern continues to ask a question and answer himself, huffing a laugh as he arches a brow and says, “okay, now you’re saying we should let them be stupid, not me. just wanted to point that out.” newt turns his attention back to the ball pit then, watching the children for a second before replying, “… but maybe you’re right though. why destroy their innocence by letting them know what happened in that ball pit hours ago? ignorance is bliss, right?” 

he laughed at newt’s facial expression. “oh, shut up!” three little girls waiting in line for the apple picking game stared at the two of them so hard, fern felt himself start to feel embarrassed until he remember he was more than twice their age. without newt noticing -- or so fern hoped -- he mean mugged the three of them back causing them to fall out one by one. lowering his voice, he continued,”i didn’t mean to watch them. i really thought something else was happening -- looked violent.” fern couldn’t hold in the stifled laugh that came from his own ignorance in the situation. “i’m not a fucking peeping tom, jerk off -- i witnessed... a crime really. that’s illegal right?” 

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hey good morning, I’m never wrong

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actualdumpster‌:

kit leaned in close to fern, grinning crookedly. “oh, man,” he said, “if only, right?” with that, kit dug a hand into fern’s cup of coins, grabbing some for himself. “i think she’d kill us first, honestly. you wanna race? i’m fuckin’ shit at these games, but i’ll try to beat ya.” it didn’t help that kit was insanely competitive; he did not like losing. 

fern jumped back. “hey, man! don’t fucking –” it was too late. fern glared at kit. “i earned that shit, so, yeah, i’m gonna fucking earn it back from you.” he spoke through a tight lip as the two of them began choosing cars and characters to play. “i call the blonde girl,” fern reminded kit. 

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psychefm‌:

“should we… just let them do that?” newt asks no one in particular as he stares at the children frolicking happily in the chuck e cheese ball pit. his nose is wrinkled in some amount of horror, head tilting as he adds, “y’know, considering the rumours that a couple was, well.” newt shrugs, before dryly saying, “balls deep in there in more ways than one. cause it feels kind of immoral to allow it but…” newt watches a child pick up a plastic ball and whip it at what looks to be his identical twin brother hard enough that the kid drops back into the ball pit like a stone.  “…they look so happy.” 

fern stood next to him trying to stifle a laugh. he was watching the same group of kids trying to balance the force of the pit. “not a rumour... I saw it, man.” he raised his brow to emphasize his credibility. he was right, though. the kids did look happy. “they’re happy because they’re stupid though, you know. they don’t know shit -- you saying we should let them be stupid?” Fern asked almost rhetorically before answering himself. “yeah.” 

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actualdumpster‌:

there was no question in kit’s mind that he was coming to the grand re-opening of the chuck e. cheese. he’d never had enough money to go there, and now? with unlimited tokens? please, he was about to have the time of his life. and, as if it was a sign from the universe that coming here was a good decision, he saw fern as soon as he arrived. “archduke franz ferdinand,” kit greeted, using the stupid nickname he’d concocted over the years. “how’s it goin’? havin’ a good time so far?” 

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 fern was bobbing along to the music of the drag racing game; with a full cup of coins and it was pay day -- fern was feeling himself. and the 8bit tune he wished was sold in CD format somewhere. “oh shit,” fern grinned as kit approached. “listen,” he hooked his arm around kit’s shoulders. “we gotta figure out a way to make sure kathleen lets mall employees get endless coins all the time.” fern spoke in a rushed, hushed tone. 

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talk to the hand ARÓN PIPER, FERNANDO “FERN” HARK is the new kid on the block around here. at TWENTY, the CISMALE works at NORDSTROMS in the mall and, like, HE totally reminds us of JOEY TRIBBIANI. oh snap! what? their favorite movie is FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH ???? so is mine! 

im mel btw! 

info dump time!

my boy fernando, often called fern, is my babe – so jot that down

you have to call him fern… that is his nickname. if you just met him thru work where he was called fernando, then you’d call him fernando. if you were friends with him you call him fern and you gotta make sure its cool for you to call him fern, but never ask because fern never tells u

hes a chill guy, he likes to laugh

working at nordstroms bc his mom (he later found out) was banging the general manager and he got started at a high ass rate but shhh (this can be a secret)

family life is fine, fern is a middle child and kind of doesn’t give a flying noodle about most family things because he observed so much as a kid – i like to think of fern’s dad like jordan belfort to put it in perspective

college isn’t on his mind right now because he thinks he can get into bonds and other stock stuff later but he’s been two years out of high school and he has no motivation to start toward the education track… maybe looking into something like modeling or acting

he knows he’s cute okay

fernando like does not take anything seriously he like is above it all

people give him alot of attention so at this current space in his life he um likes it and likes giving attention back read: whore

i think u will like him and if you don’t he doesn’t really care. or like, he does, but you won’t know.

look at the muse tag bc he’s wild and this don’t help

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#mood

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Billionaire Boys Club (2018) Directed by James Cox

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“ugh, your mind” - me to myself before doing the absolute dumbest shit imaginable

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Louise Glück, Averno

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