ttshncl

[ttshncl]

03/01/25

Engineer, endeed the conversation without replying back to me. I guess that is his way respecting my decision haha. at the end of the day, ik deep down to my spine that he was a good person, it justt he was hurt so much, so much to the point na he doesnt know where he leads, i think he is loss rn, and ik that the i cant be with someone who is broken and dont know where to go or hindi maibigay yung respect na i deserve. i know he knows that, he was just so mad with all the women coz uk haha. im not bothered with the fact na sayang or what ahaha kasi if ipagkakaloob sayo, it will be. dont rush things ive learned it from my experience haha i do like him, i really do. if its meant to be, it will be. i can feel it na magiging magandang tatay sya sa mga anak nya. i wasnt ready as well, im not financially stable haha nakakahiya naman if makikipagdate ako kapag broke ako ahhaha anddd i have a lots on my plate right now and i think mas priority ko 'yon, my mind speaks that it was sayang coz engineer was the best match but i think im still not ready for him.

[ttshncl]

FEBRUARY 19, 2025

Hi, its been a month after i wrote a nonsense journal here haha. so, life update, haha we talking pa rin, idk to what extent or i dont know hanggang saan to all i can say is, i wont giving anything.

[ttshncl]

01/14/2025

14th of june and first time akong magsusulat ng hindi about kay jd!!! HHAHAH. So,,, basicallyyy infairness naman sa crush ko??? tuloy tuloy na kami nag uusap?? hindi ko nga ineexpect na magchachat kanina kasi akala ko seseen nya nalang ako?? but nagchat parin sha and i think that was the longest convo!!!! aas in pero as in napikon din talaga ako saknya hahah meron syang point thoo, napipikon ako kasi naooutsmart ako haha! kasi totoo yung sinasabi nya!

[ttshncl]

11/23/24

Goodmorning? haha. I miss Jd. nothing more, nothing less. I miss him. Funny, 'no? ganto pala kapag Love mo soaper hahah. Mahal na mahal ko sha????????? as in HAHAH final na to? kasi love q tlaaga sha. Nver beg him to stay but nag beg ako natigilan nya ako kasi boards season whahha. and time flies so fast, 19DAYS NALANG RTLE NA!!!!!!!!! BAKIT ANG BILIS HUHU HINDI NA PO AKO NAGMAMADALI :(( MORE LIKEEE BAGALAN NATIN ORAS PLEASE

[ttshncl]

10/18

mababaliw na ako, mababaliw na talaga ako. Hindi ko na alam gagawin ko. It kills me inside, my mind, my mind,,, it kills me so much so much to the point that I don't know what to do with it. Mababaliw talaga ako

[ttshncl]

10/10/24

- It's been a year. I don't know when was the lastime i wrote something about jd here. Lately,,, I've been dreaming of him w his new girlfriend ahhaha that shits sucks kasi it hurts down to my spine n hindi sya one time lamg hahahahahah idk if miss ko ba sya, kasi for sure miss ko sya, won't deny it. The idea of seeing him with her its the thing na hindi ko pa ata tanggap up 'till now hahaa i know na dapat i should accept things and be happy with things hahaa but the thing is,,, im happy with him, i know to myself na hindi na talaga coz all of my prayers was been answered haha. I don't know bakit andito pa rin ako?? i do trust my process but ganon ko ba syaa kamahal? kasi for sure love ko for him walang tutumbas hahaa its like,,, i love him till i die, meron man akong bago or wla haha na may space talaga si jd sakin na kahit anong gawin ng mga tao, there is always a space. Namimiss ko sya now, tagal din bago ako mag relapse ko uli, kinda moving forward w things but I'm happy na rin kung saan sya now kahit shit ginagawa nya sakin hahaha.

[ttshncl]

08.09.24

there's a movie that titled "10 things y i hate you" ako siguro mga 30 things y i hate you. Kidding.

This action of mine or i would say idea of mine haha this idea of mine is so stupid, lame, so careless haha. Idk, when, how, i just do naramdaman ko lang haha. there's no doubt kasi ik, ik myself more than anything else.

[ttshncl]

08.02.24

I really don't want to do this anymoreeeee its so tiring

[ttshncl]

08.01.24

Almost a year now. Happy 2nd anniversary, Love. You're still my favorite person. Happy graduation, JD. Won't deny it, I love you n I miss you so much.

[ttshncl]

06/13

almost 2yrs now, i miss you.

[ttshncl]

Probably,,, mababasa mo 'to 6mos from now.

[ttshncl]

05.25.24

I want to do things with you, i wanna study and pass the boards with you. I want to go to places na tahimik and spend the rest of the day w you coz i know how much you like peaceful places. I want to hangout with you and play billiards ksks. I want to be a mom and magkaroon ng anak sayo haha funny but i really want it to be twins nakamukha mo, i know na you'll be a good dad. JD, i want to takecare of you and spend the rest of my life with you.

The mere fact that we are not together,,, i don't know where it will lead us but i just know that he has a better plan for us. I don't know how to unloved you, I just know how to live without you. There's always a piece of you in my heart haha.

[ttshncl]

05.23.24

I would love you in a way, it will soften the rough edges the world gave you. I miss you, love. I miss you more than you know. I love you, baby.

[ttshncl]

it's always been jd and the boards

[ttshncl]

05.23.24

Miss kita super.

[ttshncl]

05.23.24

Idk how months had past, i just know lang na Love kita, and i trust God and his process ksks mahal man kitaa ngayon,,, baka sa susunod hindi na. I walk by my faith and not by my sight. I know my panata is stronger than anything else in this world, i got him no matter what circumstances i am in

[ttshncl]

02.13.24

- I don't know what to feel right now, i really hate the fuck how fucked up my life right now, how stupid I am to expect things from you haha. I was genuinely happy, like finally I'm getting what I deserve ksks then suddenly, magpaparamdam ka ng parang wala lang, just to check up on me haha y didn't u check up on me when my world was down to earth? Like why now lang? na finally okay na ako?? and I'm fucking miserable again haha.