tsunodaa

[tsunodaa]

i love f1 because sometimes you get races where people are hardcore beefing with each other and slandering on live tv and we are blessed with actual miracles and then there's going to be one random subplot like wdym yuki tsunoda was contemplating the effects of global warming because of a beaver

[tsunodaa]

[tsunodaa]

After meeting Olric in every part-time job possible I can officially declare him Mistria's Barbie

[tsunodaa]

Yuki revealing that he's had several Michelin chefs reach out to him regarding opening a restaurant but that he doesn't want to make it a high-end place because he wants young people to be able to go.

Working class F1 driver, man for the people

[tsunodaa]

I made one for each team cause these were fun to make :)

[tsunodaa]

Honda needs to figure out how to get Yuki into that Aston Martin team! Idc if it's realistically not possible (for right now). Someone needs to find a way!

[tsunodaa]

literally the realest thing i’ve seen today

[tsunodaa]

CHARLES LECLERC FINALLY WINS THE MONACO GRAND PRIX

[tsunodaa]

watching the front positions of f1: Same 5 guys trading off finishing positions with each other every week

watching the midfield/backrunners of f1: Pierre Gasly and Esteban Ocon are roleplaying Javert and Hugh Jackman in a Les Miserables fight to mutually assured destruction over a no-points position. Lewis Hamilton is going to physically fight his own car to the death. Yuki Tsunoda and Daniel Ricciardo are going to physically fight each other to the death, but Daniel has a disadvantage because Lance Stroll has a sniper rifle aimed at his head. The Saubers are rewriting the federalist papers in the pits. Kevin Magnussen has planted a bomb on the track, and the blast has inevitably caught a Williams.

[tsunodaa]

am i really gonna wake up in the middle of the night just to watch a redbull one two? yeah

Will i have to deal with how Sainz fans to shout abt how Charles is washed and Logan’s continued suffering to ? probably.

Will i complain? oh yeah

Will i get yoints? god i sure hope so

[tsunodaa]

Me and the girls manifesting yoints

[tsunodaa]

No wait I got more to say. Yuki is the guy who has apologised when the team has fucked him with bad strategy, posted public apologies to his teammate after losing both their races, avoided slagging of de Vries when he ruined his race and literally apologized to the entire factory after Mexico. He's not the petulant child you try to frame him to be

[tsunodaa]

Yuki missing Q3 by 0.0007 and qualifying P11? Traditions

[tsunodaa]

we are gonna get a yodium this year, i feel it in my bones

[tsunodaa]

It wasn't enough for P7 but Franz got to watch Yuki, the last of the many drivers he's mentored, the one he defended so fiercely when everyone wrote him off in 2021, drive a perfect race and win driver of the day and that has to mean a lot

[tsunodaa]

nothing but respect for my silly guys 🫡

[tsunodaa]

Ok desperate times, desperate measures.

It’s time for some anti Red Bull crimes just to make the end of season interesting.

I’m taking a guess here on where people’s cars and previous results should put them in the race.

So lap one George is going to gently walk Max off the track, but do enough damage the cooling goes or something and he has to retire. (Sorry George it has to be you because third times the charm this season, this time you will get him to DNF). I’m gonna let you finish 5th or 6th (see the Lance caveat later).

Right Lando, Lewis get gone off down the road. All you have to do is keep it on the grey stuff and have fun racing each other, so you get some tv time.

Oscar, Charles, Carlos, Fernando. You need to keep Checo busy and most importantly off the podium. Daniel if you could loom ominously behind that would be perfect.

Ok so in a world where they manage to fix damage to Max’s car, Esteban, Pierre, Alex, you have two jobs here. 1. Protect Yuki. 2. Make Max’s life really really difficult. You all have just cause, so just channel your inner Fernando.

Ok Valtteri, Zhou, Logan, Kevin, Nico. You are going to have a great race, great race. Lots of screen time, because every time a Red Bull comes up behind you to lap you, you are going to be blind to blue flags and your radio is going to be dead ok? Valtteri this is your moment. You have our permission to be a dick. We love you, we will all find this funny. Go for it.

Ok Lance, I haven’t forgotten about you, it’s just make a decision are you going to retire the car by lap 10 or race like you did in Vegas? The latter options means you are going to be tailing Yuki through the pack.

Right we are aiming for a Lando win (that way the press can stop asking him the damn question and Max will be kinda happy about the result), with Lewis and Yuki on the podium (cos God knows he’s earned some real recognition this season).

Oscar and Lance can fight for 4th and 5th followed by George. (sorry Ferrari I don’t think your car is going to be good enough for top 5 this weekend).

Pierre I would love for you to get the podium you want, but the universe wants Yuki on there more!

One national anthem plays (driver and team, same country), Lando and Lewis drown Yuki in rosewater (Yeap that shit again) and we all stagger off to recover from a long arse season and wait for the drivers to start posting Christmas pics followed by pre-season thirst traps.

No one needs to hear from Christian Horner. Max isn’t expected to murder another song.

Who’s with me?

We all go off into 2024 lying to ourselves Adrian Newey, the God and Genius he is, hasn’t already designed a championship winning beast for next year.