tsukkeisimp
dalia
131 posts
21, she - her, ceo of best friends to lovers. thinking about tsukishima kei 24/7. trying to write.
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tsukkeisimp · 3 years ago
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you drew stars around my scars, but now i’m bleeding
Pairing: Tsukishima X Reader
Genre: best friends to lovers, ANGST!!!
TW: cursing
A/N: i haven’t posted my writing in more than 2 years lol. this was supposed to be part of my tsukki smau ‘i think i kinda, you know’ that i abandoned a long time ago, but that still lives in my heart. i wrote this while i was doing the smau, but i never got to this part, and then felt like it didn’t make sense to post if i wasn’t gonna continue. it sat in my drafts. but i’m about to sleep and thought about it and whatever lol. i’m in a silly goofy mood. if anyone reads this, this is very sad and i’m sorry. and i’m sorry i won’t finish the smau and give them a happy ending.
also while writing this i had cardigan by taylor swift (huge swiftie alert) on repeat. the title is inspired by that song! 
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Tsukishima’s neighbour stood on the porch of his house, looking up at the mysterious grey sky, eyebrows frowning in hesitation. To go or not to go? Was it worth it to take the risk of possibly getting soaking wet under the rain, walking all the way to the bar next to the park, just to have breakfast? They did make delicious coffee there, but it was 20 minutes away and the dark and threatening clouds staring down back at him were a clear indicator it could have started to rain at any moment. But behind those huge and gloomy clouds was the sun, and he wasn’t planning on giving up his spot in the sky yet. He was willing to fight for it. No matter how hard those intimidating clouds were trying to suffocate him, a few of his rays had managed to get out. Little glimpses of light found a way to emerge from the darkness and slightly brightened up the otherwise depressive athmosphere. A weak yet hopeful smile surfaced on the man’s face, as he started walking towards the bar.
It was a similar smile, the one on Kei’s face that morning. Even though his had nothing to do with the weather, or with coffee, it was brought onto his face by the same sentiment that caused the man’s smile: hope.
Keep reading
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tsukkeisimp · 3 years ago
Text
you drew stars around my scars, but now i’m bleeding
Pairing: Tsukishima X Reader
Genre: best friends to lovers, ANGST!!!
TW: cursing
A/N: i haven’t posted my writing in more than 2 years lol. this was supposed to be part of my tsukki smau ‘i think i kinda, you know’ that i abandoned a long time ago, but that still lives in my heart. i wrote this while i was doing the smau, but i never got to this part, and then felt like it didn’t make sense to post if i wasn’t gonna continue. it sat in my drafts. but i’m about to sleep and thought about it and whatever lol. i’m in a silly goofy mood. if anyone reads this, this is very sad and i’m sorry. and i’m sorry i won’t finish the smau and give them a happy ending.
also while writing this i had cardigan by taylor swift (huge swiftie alert) on repeat. the title is inspired by that song! 
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Tsukishima’s neighbour stood on the porch of his house, looking up at the mysterious grey sky, eyebrows frowning in hesitation. To go or not to go? Was it worth it to take the risk of possibly getting soaking wet under the rain, walking all the way to the bar next to the park, just to have breakfast? They did make delicious coffee there, but it was 20 minutes away and the dark and threatening clouds staring down back at him were a clear indicator it could have started to rain at any moment. But behind those huge and gloomy clouds was the sun, and he wasn’t planning on giving up his spot in the sky yet. He was willing to fight for it. No matter how hard those intimidating clouds were trying to suffocate him, a few of his rays had managed to get out. Little glimpses of light found a way to emerge from the darkness and slightly brightened up the otherwise depressive athmosphere. A weak yet hopeful smile surfaced on the man’s face, as he started walking towards the bar.
It was a similar smile, the one on Kei’s face that morning. Even though his had nothing to do with the weather, or with coffee, it was brought onto his face by the same sentiment that caused the man’s smile: hope.
‘Oh I see how it is. Kei, Kei, Kei. You two never hang out with me anymore.’ Akiteru frowned and playfully rolled his eyes at Y/n.
‘Aw. It’s because you’re old now, Aki. Sorry to break it to ya.’ Y/n said smirking and gave him a pat on his shoulder. He cought on what she was trying to do and shot back.
‘Or is it because you’re both lame losers who prefer to ‘stargaze’ and ‘watch documentaries’ instead of going out with me?’ he smirked back and poked his tounge out at her.
Y/n’s giggle echoed all the way up to Tsukishima’s room and distracted him from the book he was trying to read. She was here. It was time. Before he could realise all that, she was already sprinting up the stairs and barging into his room.
‘Morning morning! Oh my God I gotta show you this hilarious video of Eri and I trying to do a handstand during practice.’ She said enthusiastically, scrolling through her phone. ‘It’s so bad –’
‘Uhm actually, I wanted to talk to you about something.’ Kei started, torturing the hem of his shirt
‘But look first! It’s so funny I promise!’ Y/n was too excited about showing him how she disastrously fell on top of Eri, to notice how strangly nervous he was.
‘No… This is actually serious Y/n, please put your phone away.’ he pleaded and let out a long frustrated sigh.
‘Okay now you’re making me worry… is everything okay?’ Y/n looked up at her best friend’s face, trying to read his expression. It wasn’t normal for him to be the initiator of serious conversations.
‘Yes. I mean, no – Y/n.’ Worry was starting to take over his body, doubts and concerns drowning all the hope in his heart. He sighed, almost ready to give it all up. Was it worth the risk? A little ray of sunshine had made his way through the window, into his room. It was brighting up the place delicately, hitting Y/n’s necklace and making it twinkle. Kei took a deep breath.
‘I think I’m in love with you. I’m pretty sure I’ve been in love with you for my whole life. But I never realised. And then… ever since we kissed, it just clicked. I love you. You’re – you’re my favorite person. Ever. The only person I could hang out with for a week straight and never get tired of. The only person whose opinions actually matter to me. I don’t care about anyone else, I just want it to be… me and you. And I don’t want to be just best friends anymore. I… I want you to be my girlfriend.’
A deathly silence filled the room. It wasn’t that comfortable silence they were used to chill in together, laying on Kei’s bed and scrolling through their phones or reading. There was nothing familiar or calming about it. It was harsh, awfully tense and somehow spooky.
‘You’re my favorite person too…
… but I… I don’t know. Kei, you know I love you. I really do. But… you’ve always been my best friend. And I’ve always been your best friend. I don’t want this to end… And – God, I’m confused… I love you. But I don’t know if it’s… that kind of love. I don’t know if I’m in love with you…’ Y/n was shaking, her eyes looking everywhere in the room but at Tsukishima. She wasn’t ready. She wasn’t ready to handle this conversation. She wasn’t ready to handle those feelings she had tried so hard to make disappear during the past few months, obviously failing. Her head was a mess, her emotions and thoughts all mixed up in a huge chaos. The stress from school exams and practice, her talks with Mika and Eri about possibly being in love, the fear of losing her best friend in the whole world.
‘Listen. We both know we’re not just friends. You can’t tell me that kiss in Tokyo didn’t mean shit to you. Things were so awkward between us after that, don’t you remember?’ Kei desperately tried to talk some sense into her. He didn’t wanna give up. He knew he wasn’t wrong. He knew it was love… right?
‘That kiss. It was a mistake… it did make things awkward, yes. It confused me. It made me think weird things. Maybe… maybe you’re just confused too?’ Y/n was just panicking at this point. She was trying to focus on the conversation and to give honest answers to his questions but… All her brain was telling her to do was: get out of there, as soon as possible.
‘But it’s not just the kiss! It’s everything else. How we look at each other, how we hug and… how we sleep in the same bed. Normal best friends don’t do that Y/n--’
‘I know, I know! But- we’re special. You’re confused Kei, and--’
‘Stop telling me I’m confused, fucking hell! I’m not. You’re the confused one. I wouldn’t have told you if I wasn’t certain of it.’ He raised his voice, frustration tooking over him. Y/n jumped a bit at his tone, she took a step back, away from him and her lip started to tremble. Tears started to accumulate in her eyes, but she tried her best to hold them back. She had never handled the shouting well, and he knew that. He fixed his tone before continuing.
‘I’ve never been more sure about something. I’m in love with you and you’re in love with me.’ He took her hand as he said that and looked her in the eyes, with that same weak yet hopeful smile he had that morning.
She was so quick to break the eye contact though, and Kei’s stomach immediatly dropped.
‘Kei, stop that! I’m not in love with you. I’m not!’ She said, fully sobbing now. Her hand left his and went up to her face, continuosly wiping away the tears that kept falling from her eyes. She just wanted the conversation to stop. It was too painful and overwhelming. She couldn’t go back to thinking about this. If they were in love with each other, like an actual couple, that meant they could also fall out of love with each ohter. And then what? They would just… break up? Get out of each other’s life? Forever? Was he willing to take that risk? They were young. What do you know about love, when you’re young?
Tsukishima thought he had prepared himself to handle a rejection. He thought he was ready to take ‘no’ as an answer and go on with his life. Push his feelings aside. Act as if nothing ever happened. He had convinced himself he could do that. But how can you stand in front of the love of your life saying they don’t love you back and keep breathing? How can you not feel lost when the person you considered your home for 16 years suddenly feels like a cold dark street you’ve never been to before? How can you not break down crying when you see your whole world slip away from you right in front of your eyes?
That’s what she was to him. The love of his life. His home. His whole world. The only damn thing he cared about. He knew better than telling anyone that. He was 16 and he knew they would’ve laughed in his face. Because when you are young everyone assumes you know nothing about love. But Tsukishima Kei knew everything about love. He knew he was so deeply in love with Y/n.
He knew he could never have lived without the little made up songs she hummed absentmindedly while focusing on a maths problem or while writing down her school notes. Without the overly dramatic and exxagerated tone she used in the daily voice messages she sent him at the end of the school day, sharing a completely useless and most of the time unfunny anectode about something that had happened during class or practice. He could have never lived without that accomplished and proud smile that always surfaced on her face after she pulled off an impressive spike in his backyard, and the little celebratory dance that would follow, accompanied by the shouted words ‘Take that, Shiratorizawa!’. He could have never - ever - lived without the countless “you’re the best” she screamed to him from across the street, whispered to him as she tightened their hugs, wrote to him in the sappy notes she would leave in his jacket on his birthday, every time making him feel like she really meant it.  
He knew he could have never lived without her. Actually, it was worst than that: it was impossible for him to imagine life without her. They grew up together. She was the constant in his memories. When you close your eyes and think about your past, there’s always something that comes to mind first. It might be your childhood home’s comforting smell, your grandma’s soothing voice or your family dog barking. When Kei closed his eyes and dived into his memories Y/n always appeared first, with her contagious laugh and the sparkle in her eyes. From summer holidays spent at the seaside to the annual family trips to the mountains. From the first days of schools to the first vollayball practices with Akiteru in their backyard. She had always been there.                                            And the thought that there might come a time in which her pretty smile wouldn’t be the protagonist of his memories was terrifying.
‘I think you should leave, Y/n.’ It was happening. Kei was going back into his shell. Talking about feelings was the thing he had always struggled with the most. Through the years he had learned to trust Y/n with everything and she was the only one he would occasionally open up to. She would always listen to him with no judgement, comfort him and give genuine advice. She was different from other people. They were in love. Or so he thought. Turns out she was just as superficial and empty as everyone else. He couldn’t trust her anymore. She had just broken down everything they had built together for the past 15 years.
‘You promised… you promised it would have been forever.’ His voice broke, as he looked down and desperatly tried to stop the tears from coming. He was furious. He didn’t understand. He would never understand how she could not be in love with him.
‘And I still mean it Kei…’
‘Do you actually? If you meant it, you would have said it back. You would be in love with me too. Instead you ruined everything and –‘
‘I… You know I love you… but—'
‘No. I don’t wanna hear it. You just… ruined it all. Leave!’
Looking back, he had always felt it. That electifying and magical energy that filled the air when their eyes met. The peaceful and incredibly comfortable atmosphere they were able to create by simply hugging. The desire and passion in the kiss they shared in Tokyo. The love they had for each other.  Didn’t she feel it? Did he imagine everything? Had it always been one-sided? She kept repeating she loved him, as a best friend. No. If she felt what he was feeling, she would know. She would know they were soulmates. Was this ‘love’ she claimed she was feeling so superficial she didn’t think of him as her soulmate? Was she really gonna call another person her soulmate one day? Was she gonna replace him?
At this very moment Tsukishima Kei was completely sure everything he had believed in for the past 15 years was a lie.
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tsukkeisimp · 3 years ago
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maybe i wanna start something new idk 🕺😔
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tsukkeisimp · 3 years ago
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sometimes i do think about just publishing that confession / rejection scene i had written for my old tsukki smau but it’s painful and i don’t want people to just be left with that and don’t have a happy ending to read ☠️
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tsukkeisimp · 3 years ago
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Hey, I was one of those who read your story on tsukki and I just wanted to say that you putting off the story was definitely fine... If you ever decide to continue the story, that's great I'll be here to support you! And if you decide that you won't that's perfectly fine too, remember to put yourself first, so that much needed break is definitely
-if you ever need someone to talk to just send me a message :))
nah dude this is gonna make me cry you guys. thank you for this i appreciate you so much. life’s been rough, i got a depression diagnosis and got meds ever since i last updated the smau. but i also got into the uni i wanted and are enjoying my degree so much. haikyuu still brings me So much joy and Tsukki is still my comfort character. i have some updates for the smau i never posted, maybe i will come back to it soon idk. i’m definitely coming in a better place, but it’s not easy to come back after being gone and having abandoned the story for so long. love everyone who’ll read this. it def made my days getting comments on my smau and seeing how you guys liked it. thank you for this again. love, d <3
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tsukkeisimp · 3 years ago
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damn i really abandoned my smau like that one year ago, that was so rude. but i got to my worst mental health wise so i didn’t really have a choice :(
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tsukkeisimp · 4 years ago
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so hi 👀 update if anybody cares!!! i went through a rollercoaster of emotions these past few months and i was in a really bad place mental health wise. BUT NOW!! i got in my first choice uni and i’m so happy about that and i started lessons (which means i’ve been busy boooo) BUT!!!! this improved my mental health by A LOT. so this means whenever i have free time i’ll prob go back to writing. love y’all!!!!! i’ll go back to my lesson now. just know i’ll be back and i’ll definetly continue “i think i kinda, you know”. BYEEEE 🤩🥰🤩🥰
hi idk if anyone still cares about me but i’m slowly getting better and my anxiety has been toning down recently !!! so yea i miss posting and talking to everyone on here, hopefully i’ll be able to post soon 🥺
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tsukkeisimp · 4 years ago
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tsukkeisimp · 4 years ago
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Hi we haven’t ever talked but I just wanted to say I hope you are getting better (even if it is slowly). You are a fantastic writer and I hope to see you back soon!💜💜
thank you so much, you’re too sweet 🥺❤️
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tsukkeisimp · 4 years ago
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hi idk if anyone still cares about me but i’m slowly getting better and my anxiety has been toning down recently !!! so yea i miss posting and talking to everyone on here, hopefully i’ll be able to post soon 🥺
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tsukkeisimp · 4 years ago
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aaron aaaaaa i’m 🥺🥰✨❤️🤩⭐️ this is the cutest softest shit and it’s so well written ! you never fail to amaze me. thank you so much for this i appreciate you more than you’ll ever know !!!! love you 🥺🥺🥺🥺
— doting on you
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synopsis. because tsukishima kei is very much capable of showing love... when he wants to
pairing. tsukishima x gn!reader
for. @tsukkeisimp, some comfort and love for you💓
note. if this doesn’t show up in the tags im gonna riot
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Receiving affection from Kei is something of a rarity. It’s like dessert for you; a once in a lifetime event.
When it does happen, then lucky you, you’ve just hit home run
“...y/n?” a voice called out. The entrance of your home shuts close, and a pair of footsteps come making its way towards the kitchen.
But you’re completely unaware of the new company as your ears fill with the sound of your quiet humming, along with the clacking of pot and spoon. Though, you’d only have Kei to blame for the love song that’s incessantly playing in your head. An earworm, as he’d call it.
Kei quietly shuffles about, dropping his keys on the kitchen counter, hanging his winter coat, and yawning from fatigue.
Seriously, when where going to turn around give him that warm welcome?
He pouts at your lack of acknowledgement.
“Y/n,” he says again, this time just a few steps away from you.
“Kei? Oh, you’re home!”
You continue to busy yourself with cooking, but the sudden feeling of air fanning on the back of your neck takes you out of your trance.
“...Kei?” You’re certain he’s standing mere inches away from you. And indeed he is, bending down to hover his lips over your exposed skin.
He leans in and gives the back of your neck a sickeningly sweet kiss, pulling away slightly that you can still feel the surface of his lips. It’s warm, and sweeter than any dessert you’ve ever had.
“You forgot to greet me...”
You can almost see the small frown on his face. The wooden spoon you’re using is set to rest on the counter as you make your way to turn around to properly greet him.
But before you can even do so, Kei moves to wrap his arms around your waist and buries his face on the crook of your neck. You can feel the vibrations as he groans out his day’s frustrations.
“Hmm...”
He peeks up a little, “I missed you, you know?”
“You missed me? Oh, I certainly didn’t know that,” you quip. You bring a hand up to run your fingers through his blond locks— it’s soothing, so much so that he tightens your hold on you; his way of saying thank you, and that feels good.
There’s a short, comfortable silence that spreads throughout the room as the the two of you stay tangled. The smell of your cooking wafts through the air and to Kei’s nose. He peeks his face out again to get a wiff of your cooking, then brings his nose back over your neck to inhale your scent some more. He thinks, there’s nothing better than this.
“Is that for dinner?” he asks, to which you hum in reponse. He brings his face up to your cheeks and gives you another heartwarming kiss, afterwards pulling away from you.
“Let me take over, love.”
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tsukkeisimp · 4 years ago
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i loved this !!!!! need more !!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺
2 a. m. 《 tsukishima
pairing: tsukishima x reader
genre: fluff, oneshot, slight fwb and veeerryy lowkey fuckboy!tsukishima vibes
word count: 1.5k
warnings: a few swears but that is all ꈍᴗꈍ
a/n: it is literally 5am as i post this dhfjd i spent all night adding to it and editing and honestly it might be a whole ass mess but ig i’ll find out tomorrow haha. if ur reading this i love u and goodnight
“Hurry up,” Kei pressured.
He watched, expression bored and hands tucked in the pockets of his sweats, as you attempted to noiselessly shut the front door of your house. Both you and Kei knew that if you had managed to get dressed, tiptoe past your parent’s bedroom and all the way downstairs, without waking them, you were practically off scot-free. That didn’t stop the racing of your heart.
“Shh!” You hissed over your shoulder, just as the door finally came to a close.
Keep reading
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tsukkeisimp · 4 years ago
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can i pls b added to the taglist of i think i kinda, you know?? I JUST SPENT THE MOST OF MY ONLINE CLASS SWOONING OVER IT OMGG THE STAR AND THE BED CUDDLES ISNDIWJEJE THE CONVERSATIONS ARE SO WHOLESOME KEEP IT UP LOVE STAY HYDRATED <333
i don’t deserve this kind of support OH MY GOD THANK UUUU SM 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 but also pls pay attention to ur online classes education is important ❤️✨ and yes i’ll add u to the taglist (updates are very slow sadly but they’re coming) !!!! ily thank u !!!!! 🥰🥰
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tsukkeisimp · 4 years ago
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chapter 1 :D
[a/n: first chapter !! i hope its not underwhelmingly short, they do get longer eventually :D kages vibe here is entirely inspired by this one scene, i think viewing it really adds to the experience so ive put it at the end. enjoy !!]
The sun was still bright even late in the afternoon; one of April’s main drawbacks for Kageyama, who was sweating in his maroon jumper as he jogged over to the drinks machine hidden near the gym. Behind a wall of a few coins and some button-pressing lay his saviour in this hot season: icy-cold milk. He hurriedly took out three cartons in one payment and began drinking before he’d fully stood back up. However, a sing-song voice cut through his bliss.
“HA! So you’re the bastard who’s been taking all the cartons from this machine! I knew I’d get you in the act one day!” a girl with long, dark hair chirped; her sparkling eyes and the wry grin on her face showing the intended good nature of her remark. “I thought it’d stay my little secret, but it was only a week until all the milk in it was disappearing quicker than if there was nobody but toddlers coming here!” she whined, with a pout. And that, that obnoxiously dramatic expression, that was where it began. From the expressive face and the melody in her voice to that goddamn mock-pout, Kageyama knew there and then that he hated this girl, and probably always would.
For Miya Kensouki, it was a different story. The boy in front of her had taken her completely by surprise, resembling no part of the milk-fiend she’d envisioned in her head. Admittedly, the boy’s black hair would’ve taken on a better life after a wash and some nice products, but she couldn’t stop herself from getting lost in his dark blue eyes. Once he straightened out properly and she could see his true height, it was all she could do not to gasp, and she was certain that a pink blush was rising to her cheeks. However, his expression wasn’t mirroring any affection for her at all. 
It was as though flames had grown in those beautiful eyes and engulfed the scene, leaving her trapped in his fire of resentment and anger.
“If you wanted a monopoly on milk then you should buy a fucking cow, dumbass!” Kageyama raged. Who was this stupid girl, talking to him with a grin as though they were friends and acting as though she hadn’t called him a bastard in their introductory sentence? She had some nerve. “I’m pretty sure there’s a rule about using this machine if you’re not part of any gym clubs, so you can see yourself out”.
At this, Miya curled her lip and glared coldly at the boy whose height she’d now composed herself over. If he wanted to be a dick, two could play at that game. 
“I’m here for my best friend who’s training to manage one of the clubs, actually, mate: it’s you I’m not sure belongs here. Panting and sweating after jogging, like, ten fucking steps? Give me a break…”
“I. Am panting. Because it’s the middle of a fucking heatwave. And I’m wearing a fucking jumper.” the boy seethed through his teeth, his accelerated hatred now palpable in the air.
“And whose stupid idea was that?” she retorted back. 
The two glared at each other for a little while, each unsure what to say next. The blush in the girl’s face had given way to a mere flush from anger, and such an annoyance was reflected on her target’s decreasingly attractive face. Finally, he snatched his remaining cartons out of the machine and stuffed them hastily into his pockets, shooting Miya one last withering look and stalking away, his footsteps so intense that they could still be heard long after.
She stood for a moment in a haze of emotions. What had just happened there? All she’d tried to do was have a laugh with a fellow milk-lover (an endangered species past the gates of high school), but it had ended up as a showdown with perhaps the moodiest guy she’d met since starting at Karasuno. The way he’d gotten so angry over a joke about milk was honestly laughable, so she let out a giggle, but it merely sounded hysterical. Try as she might to paint the boy in her mind as someone with clear anger issues, she just couldn’t suppress the intoxication from the stranger’s intense, fiery gaze. Thankfully, his name still flashed on the drinks machine as its previous customer, so he couldn’t just prowl away and remain anonymous.
“Oh no, Tobio Kageyama…” Miya muttered under her breath before entering her own details to buy the sole milk carton he’d left behind. “You’re not getting away that easily…”
✧─── ・ 。゚★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧
intro  ・ 。゚★: *.✦ .* :★. chapter 2
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tsukkeisimp · 4 years ago
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!!!!!! go !!!!!!! read !!!!!!! this !!!!!!!
do you know? i know.
an encounter at the drinks machine; just the first part of track in the roller-coaster ride that is Tobio Kageyama and Miya Kensouki. a king of the court having the passages of his heart resided in by another for the first time in a long time. a city girl trying not to drown in the blue of his eyes. will they remain symphonic, or will a rogue electric guitar be a permanent interruption to the melody they create?
✧─── ・ 。゚★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧
a kageyama tobio X own character, ig? other characters are involved too but. i dont want to spoil too much just yet 👀
[a/n: hi!! im chlo and smth has possessed me to post the fanfic that i spent half of my summer writing ! it started off as just a joke with my friends, me creating a character that was essentially just myself at first by fancying half the characters in the show but being a kage simp at heart, but eventually it developed into the biggest writing project ive ever done :D i wasnt gonna post it bc i still dont feel too confident about it, but i thought why not see what other people think rather than just judge it off my own opinion ? so here she is!]
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chapter 1: should’ve bought a cow
chapter 2: oh, fucking hell
chapter 3: ???
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tsukkeisimp · 4 years ago
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hi i’m alive but still trying to fight my anxiety ✨🧚‍♀️
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tsukkeisimp · 4 years ago
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this was so cuteee 🥰
“write for me” (t. kei x fem!reader)
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summary; after years of crushing on you, the introverted writer from class, tsukishima finds a way to let all his feelings out. if he couldn’t talk to you, then he would write to you.
genre; fluff.
warnings; none.
word count; 1.3k
autor’s note; i’m sorry but i thought once about tsukki being a writer and here i am now lmao. i could totally see him using writing as a coping mechanism bc he can’t express his feelings. is this self inserted? yes very much. anyways, enjoy.
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everyone knew tsukishima was smart, he liked to read and was and extreme geek. he could tell you trivias from every marvel movie if you asked. maybe that’s what drawn him to you. imagine how hard his jaw dropped when he saw his middle school crush in his same classroom, there, in karasuno. to yamaguchi, it was hilarious. your figure hadn’t change so much during holidays, if anything, you were even prettier. of course, tsukishima would never say that out loud. he had made sure to get a seat from behind you, in order to make his staring less obvious, but never escaping from yamaguchi’s comments on how he should at least talk to you.
the first time he noticed you, was during a break in your old school. you were sitting in the floor with a notebook supported on your thighs, writing something with a weird speed. even between all those noisy kids, balls flying around, you seemed so focused on your writing that it almost looked out of place. kei’s head was filled with questions on what got you so excited to write, because being a writer himself, he knew that inspiration was a hard thing to get. since that moment, his eyes always found a way back to you. sometimes, you just stared at a blank paper, or write your brainstorm down. it would be a lie if he said he never wondered what was on that paper, on those notebooks. more than once he stayed up all night thinking about it.
“there are tons of others schools! it has to be a sign, tsukki!” yamaguchi had tried to convince him to talk to you for ages, but an uncommon shyness struck the blonde whenever it came to you.
“shut up, yamaguchi” he always shut him down, but his friend understood, and seeing tsukishima get flustered was always a pleasure to sight.
in the whole time he knew you, you never seemed sad. yes, you were usually by yourself, but he catch on those small smiles whenever you were satisfied by what you wrote, or when you laughed at yourself for any reason. he was sure that, at least throughout middle school, you were happy. someway along the way, it changed. you were making new friends, and to anyone who didn’t pay attention, you were happy as always, but he knew you weren’t. tsukishima desperately wanted to talk to you, he hated seeing those bags under your eyes, that fake smile. he wanted you to be happy and didn’t know how to help you.
“hey y/n.
you looked sad today, i wanted to talk to you but i couldn’t. is it because you stopped writing? if it is, please don’t, i look forward to read something from you.
ps. please don’t get scared, i’m not a stalker. i just like you, a lot”
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