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Dick: Knowing what to do in an emergency is very important, so I'll teach you some basic first aid procedures. For example, what would you do if I got stabbed?

Damian: Avenge you.

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Just a little silly has me 💀

Harley is making reference to this post when tagging Dick

I won't lie I have almost no frame of reference for how to characterise Harley but I think I did ok

More Batfam twitter shennanigans here and here

Taglist under the cut

@scarlettauthor @searchingforthelamps @aceisferal @lady-bizarre @nana-mizu-shiki @reality-itself-but-magic

If you want to he added to or removed from the taglist for potential future Batfam Twitter posts let me know in the replies (easier to sort through than reblogs)

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I think more people need to play around with Damian's speech. Don't get me wrong, I love the antiquated Victorian child style of speech, but also he's a teenager that swears plenty in the comics. We really need more scenes like:

Damian: Father, I regret to inform you that I have been assigned in-school suspension for the next three days.

Bruce: What, why?!

Damian: My classmate Kevin was disparaging a female classmate for turning him down, so I called him 'a rizz-less, basic-ass neckbeard bitch' and said I was going to fuck his mom and give her a son she'd actually love.

Bruce: *is completely speechless*

Damian: That is all I needed to tell you. If you will excuse me, I have homework to complete before dinner and patrol.

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Batfamily in Nightwing (2016) #83

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My favorite fic trope is the "JLA meets the batfam because they arrested Jason as he was undercover and now the family is coming to pick him up" one, but imagine. Jason gets arrested by the JLA while undercover, and is brought in for questioning, but before any of the batfam members even notice that he is gone, Green Arrow walks into the interrogation room.

"It's okay, Superman, you can let him go."

"Green Arrow, Red Hood is a wanted criminal on the JLA:s most wanted list-"

"What? No, no he isn't, that's just Jason."

Superman stares. Jason stares too.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, that's just Jason, my son-in-law. You can let him go."

"...your son-in-law is the Red Hood?"

"No? Jason's not the Red Hood, he is just dressed as the Red Hood. He's in an mercenary group with my son, he does that. It's pretty easy to dress up as someone who doesn't show their face for a job. Jason's no Red Hood, let me tell you that. Or I guess I don't have to tell you that, since you've already arrested him."

Jason's not really sure if he wants to murder Oliver or not.

Superman stares. Oliver raises a brow.

"So? Can I have him back, please, we have a family dinner today and we're already a bit late."

"...sure."

Jason gets let out. Oliver throws an arm around his shoulders as they walk towards the zeta tubes.

"I hate you, Queen."

"You're welcome, kiddo."

JLA does leave Jason alone after that, though, because every time they see him outside of Gotham, they just go "oh that's just Jason dressed up as the Red Hood again, move on" and Jason doesn't know if he should be annoyed or not. It does make his work easier, but at the same time, it somehow feels like an insult.

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No one:

Absolutely no one:

Dick Grayson:

Source

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This five seconds clip is one of the funniest things in all of the DC universe.

Things I love about this:

1. The fastest man alive didn't think there was a man crime fighting in a bat suit.

2. Barry thought rumors of a man in a bat suit were too good to be true to the point where the news that he exists makes him physically react.

3. Green Lantern is over it all after the first sentence.

4. Hal is so apathetic.

5. Bruce does not even attempt to look over when hearing Barry. He just tinkers more.

6. Wait wha-

And of course:

Eh, he's over there. 😒

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By @shinoyangi

Follow and reblog pls

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i dont even go here

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12 yrs old Jason having just been dropped off at Wayne Manor: Do you just take in every orphan you meet off the street?

Bruce: No, you're the first kid I picked up off the street. I picked up my last one at the circus.

Jason: Is that a joke? I can’t tell if that’s a joke.

Bruce: My son's name is Richard, but he insists on going by Dick.

Jason: And he’s…from the circus?

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petition for tim to steal inherit more of jason's identities since he already got robin and red robin from him

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bruce: old money

damian: ancient money

tim: new money

dick: no money

jason: owes money

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Tim, after having a mental breakdown literally 10 seconds ago: ....wanna hear facts about whales?

Bruce: I don't have a parenting book for this-

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DC and especially Chip Zdarsky hates every Robin except Tim.

Steph and Duke is not here because they don't even "exist" 😑🤦‍♀️

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The Boy Wonder #2

I loved a lot about this issue but these were some of my favorite panels

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Tim realizing the best ways to hide your secret identity is to either be in love with them or to hate them, and since he already has a crush on an actual person he decides to go the hating Robin route

He can’t go about like Bruce does, him and Batman having a weird exes that weren’t ever dating thing, and he can’t do Clark’s I-disagree-with-Superman’s-methods thing because he has to be original and he refuses to go the easy route of having an actual excuse to avoid his secret identity

What Tim decides on is this:

They have beef. The beef will not be explained but there will be twitter wars. When asked they will only respond with “they know what they did”. They are fighting in a Denny’s parking lot. Bets are placed. There is video evidence. Surprisingly Tim wins. This is not explained. It becomes a running meme in Gotham.

Young Justice finds out- they don’t know Robin’s identity- they make fun of him. He kicks their asses in training. They are left questioning if Tim Drake could kick their asses. They belive Tim Drake is an upcoming Rouge. They do not know why Robin has been laughing his head off for the last ten minutes. Then they see a video of Tim face planting while skateboarding. They are no longer concerned. Robin is still laughing. They realize that Robin just really hates Tim and the hatred seems requited. They make their own memes.

Jason comes back to life. He sees the memes. He is confused. If Bruce is Batman, and Tim Drake, Bruce’s son (??? He has parents?), is not Robin, then who is? And does this mean that Bruce did not replace him?

Bruce has no clue this is happening.

Tim is having the time of his life.

J’onn is questioning how he got blackmailed by a 15 year old. (He thinks it’s hilarious)