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19/12

Feeling the pain of someone so brave and which I love and the passing of Jonghyun has lead to tears and hard thoughts making its rounds again. (as well as personal judgements of self made by others -numb to that I say but still hurt.)

The thoughts of wanting to kill myself resurfaces. Be it swept by the seas, be it violently; or I prefer to say -gangsta- shoot myself down

Deep within, I have long been prepared for this. I’m a nobody. By choice and not by circumstances. My isolation is a quiet solitude and a considerate decision I have put in place. 

Everyday I am reminded of being a greater failure than what I am suppose to be living for. I have too many unfulfilled things and strained financial resources. How am I suppose to believe that the future will look fine for me; if already the end of the tunnel looks bleak.

Meanwhile, I am taught to be grateful of my life. Compared to so many, I have so much resources, I can definitely pull myself together and I did it so many times!

At the end of the day, who awaits me? A shadow of my former self or really just me? My time is ticking away as I agonise and type away. I want to live for myself. What I do. What I breathe. I truly want to live a beautiful live that I can call my own. Till that day, I shall not find great rest in myself.

Many will not face this obstacle of depression. I have been fighting this and times and times again, it drains my energy, it drains my life away and it chips away at me-it’s pulling me farther and farther from who I am.

I tug myself on my face. Chin up man! You ain’t dead till you dead. You are alive and of course, there will be a better day ahead.

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1/9

im heartbroken honestly, can't find a job, feeling damn fucked up everyday,each day is a chore by itself and i am forgetting how to breathe for myself as i suffocate my very existence with no meaning :l i guess that is life.

-

that is what i can say. but what if i try hard now. make some mistakes and just pull myself up make some mistakes live the world i want to live without restrain. let’s not put a restrain.

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PREACH

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troubled thoughts 1 :try as i must

try as i must.

as I stand

in the middle

it’s tough

standing, looking

look- I

am

alone

not

as

one

still. .

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TWICE covering Seventeen’s Pretty U in TWICELAND

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Welcome to TWICELAND!

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Two actual pictures of me showing my everyday life.

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when whitney houston went off on wendy williams back in 2003 :(((

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humans are so cute, when we say goodbye we put our arms around each other and to show we love someone we bring them flowers. we suck the cum out of peoples dicks like a gogurt. we say hello by holding each other’s hand, and sometimes tiny little dewdrops form in our eyes. for pleasure we listen to arrangements of sounds, press our lips together, smoke dried leaves, get drunk off of old fruit. we’re all just little animals, falling in love and having breakfast beneath billions of stars

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Katherine Langford //  Things like mental illness and consent are things we should be talking about. It’s not something people should be embarrassed by. Mental illness is very normal. Growing up in an age where we’re starting to acknowledge just how prevalent it is, we need to be matching the rate at which it affects people. There needs to be a proper conversation, and people need to be informed and educated about it.

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seeing people from your school in public

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