truthunfiltered

[truthunfiltered]

Enough Is Enough – Addressing the Normalization of Toxic Behaviors on Desiblr

I can’t step into 2025 without addressing something that’s been weighing on me for far too long. Desiblr — what was once a space to celebrate culture, self-expression, and connection — has turned into something else entirely. It’s become a breeding ground for romanticization, fetishization, and sexualization. And the worst part? It’s all become so normalized. Excused. Ignored. Accepted.

Let me make one thing clear: this is NOT okay.

I’m writing this because I’ve lived it. I’ve seen it. And I’ve been victimized by it. I’ve had a front-row seat to this toxicity, not just for myself, but for those I care about, including a close friend who I consider my brother. The same toxic culture that I’ve been subjected to? He has too. And I know I’m not alone in this.

Here’s the truth: Behind closed DMs and hidden posts, it’s a different world. And it’s disgusting.

There are people — predominantly men — who act like they care, pretend to be supportive, pretend to understand. But deep down, they’ve got a different agenda: manipulation. A 25-year-old man I encountered had “18+” in his bio. He posted explicit content openly, then removed it, as if that changed anything. But did his behavior change? Nope. He still sent suggestive messages, acted like a predator, and went after vulnerable people, all under the pretense of being “chill” or “open-minded.”

And when I called him out? What did I get?

“Oh, it’s his blog. His rules.”

“He can post what he wants.”

Would you still say that if your younger sibling or cousin stumbled upon his account? If they became the next target of his manipulative, disgusting behavior?

When I tried to speak up, to raise awareness, I got dismissed. Some random person called me an “attention seeker” for standing up for myself. Since when did protecting yourself from being objectified turn into a “cry for attention”?

The normalization of these behaviors is the most dangerous part.

But this isn’t just about one man. It’s about the entire system. The culture that lets these men thrive without consequence. I remember a guy telling me he had a crush on me—great, but then he found out I’m an NRI and suddenly it was, “Oho, green card ka access mil gya.” Are you kidding me? This mindset is pure trash. It’s transactional. People are no longer seen for who they are, but for what they can offer. It’s disgusting.

But here’s the part that really stings. When I was harassed by that same guy who made the green card joke, no one came to my defense. Not a single person. Why? Because they knew who he was. He was the “popular guy,” the “known” one. So, instead of standing up for me, people just ignored it. It’s like they knew his behavior was toxic, but they didn’t want to risk angering him or getting caught in the drama. The girls who all claim to be “girl’s girls,” the ones who preach sisterhood and solidarity, where were they when I needed them? Nowhere. Not a single person stood up for me. But if it had been anyone else, I guarantee the story would’ve been different.

It’s like I wasn’t even worth defending because I wasn’t as “valuable” in their eyes as he was. And that’s the reality of it. The double standards, the prioritization of popularity and social status over basic decency. It hurts, but it's the truth.

I was harassed so badly that I ended up deleting my account altogether. I couldn’t even stand to stay on a platform where the toxicity outweighed the support. It wasn’t just about one incident—it was the culture, the dismissal, and the gaslighting that made it unbearable.

Later, I befriended a guy who seemed to get it. He understood how toxic Desiblr could be, how my ex treated me, and how I had been romanticized, fetishized, and sexualized. He seemed like someone I could trust especially after he had called out the other guy. But guess what? He ended up doing the same thing. Seriously? I made a fake account to go undercover and see if this really was the case, and he had the password because it was part of the supposed mission. I hadn’t used the account since June, but when my brother-like friend and I checked it recently, I saw that he’d changed the theme to make it look like a guy’s account. He even kept some of my posts and added vulgar things What. The. Hell. This guy, who seemed to understand, ended up being just like everyone else. The betrayal? Unreal.

Even my brother like friend, someone I trust entirely, has faced this. Women on the platform romanticize him, turn him into some kind of idealized fantasy, ignoring his boundaries, treating him like an object. When I talk to him, the first thing people ask is, “Who is she? Why is she always on your account?” The entitlement is real, and it’s infuriating.

And you know what? I’m done. I’m done tolerating this nonsense.

To those defending these behaviors, let me ask you something:

Would you leave your younger sibling or cousin in the hands of someone like that 25-year-old? Would you trust them with someone who claims “I’m not dirty-minded,” but then turns around and posts fantasies about dominance and control? Would you? No? Then why are you defending them?

Stop pretending this is normal. Stop pretending this is harmless. It’s not. It’s harmful. It’s disgusting. And it has real consequences. The emotional and mental toll of being reduced to an object of desire is immeasurable.

I’m speaking up because I refuse to let this continue. I refuse to let anyone else go through what I went through, feel the shame I felt. It’s time to stop pretending it’s “normal” and start calling it what it is.

And honestly? I’m still pissed.

It’s 2025 soon, and I’m not stepping into the new year without taking a stand. We need to hold people accountable. We need to stop excusing these behaviors. Stop calling them “harmless fun” or “just vibes.” It’s time to recognize the damage they cause.

This fight isn’t just for me. It’s for everyone who’s been silenced, dismissed, or made to feel like their boundaries don’t matter.

We deserve better. And we’re going to demand it.