trueaffections

[trueaffections]

★ word on the street with EMIR KATTAN ★

first up, roll call: your position at eden and how long have you done it? my name’s emir and i’ve been a bartender at eden for a couple of years. 

what’s your drink of choice to make for yourself or others? i like a rum and coke. maybe with a little  lime. some of these cocktails, man, they’re just too much. sometimes, i want to tell people this is a bar and not a starbucks, right? obviously never would, but come on. help me out. order a nice, normal drink.

we’re passing you the aux. what’s your number one club classic? i still really like the hills by the weeknd, but i kinda get why it fell out of favor, it’s kind of sad as hell for like, a club song. and you know, maybe that’s a selling point for me, i can be a pretty sensitive guy, but i get why other people may not like… love that.

what’s your most iconic night out memory? there was one time i was out on the strip, and i bumped into this girl that looked so familiar, and i realized like halfway through a heineken this girl had been a really good friend of mine in like, the eighth grade. so we start talking and drinking and hanging out. and she comes to the next place with us, her and her friend, and it just feels so natural, like we haven’t missed a fucking beat, man.  like… that’s kind of crazy, right? not to mention, like, beautiful, that all these years later we’d meet at some random club, like, 500 miles from where we grew up. we split off from everyone else to go catch up at this pizza place. and i’m thinking this has all been a sign leading up to here, i’m gonna shoot my shot. i start telling some story, trying to be romantic, about how i remember staring at her from the backseat of her sister’s honda civic after homecoming and thinking about how pretty she looked. and she made this face at me and i figured i was getting curved and felt  like a weirdo, so i apologized, but then she said “no, it’s not that, i just don’t have a sister.” she was from columbia, maryland, not south carolina. i’d never met this lady before in my life. and the really iconic part is that we still did hand stuff in my car after she figured that out.

what’s your craziest rideshare story? i used to drive on my nights off, before i started taking on a little more responsibility behind the bar, picking up some extra shifts. anyways, most of my like, craziest stories are interacting with legitimately unreal motherfuckers. like, drunk people obviously, but i know how to handle drunk people, obviously, i just mean like… this one time, these girls got in, and the one riding passenger literally started trying to get me to talk shit on her friend in the backseat with her. and like, they were being sloppy as hell. and they did seem like they were jealous of her for getting the promotion they’d all gone out for, when like, it had to be one of them, right? actually, maybe she kind of had a point…

what’s your typical fast food order after the clubs close? I think it’s gotta be pizza. culturally, we decided that does count as all the food  groups, right? plus, it’s nice that it’s the last thing i don’t feel like shit having delivered. like, it’s just a pizza. and i can usually even stay awake til it gets to my apartment, but when i don’t it tastes just as good on the way to a brunch shift in the morning.

you ready to kick this interview up a notch? I got nothing to lose.

truth or dare? fuck it, let’s dare.

do your best impression of a coworker. ah,  i don’t know, that’s dangerous. i could do laz, i guess, ‘cause it’s mostly the accent, right? just the accent, and then saying like, really vague, mysterious shit. i’m joking, that guy rocks, i’m literally just jealous. lazlo’s like the terminator of fucking, i don’t know how he does it, but he just gets in there, and closes- it’s like, leave some for the rest of us, right? ha. i kid. dude’s like a brother for real.

[trueaffections]

★ word on the street with SERENA MCCOY ★

first up, roll call: your position at eden and how long have you done it? i’m serena, i’m a vip server at eden, and i’ve been here for like two years. which is like, ten years but also  a week and a half at the same time at a place like this. time flies when you’re paid to have an amazing party every night.

what’s your drink of choice to make for yourself or others?  i’m all about the bubbles. champagne when we go out, like i’m classy, prosecco if we’re drinking back at my place. it’s an underrated perk that everything you say sounds better with a flute in your hand.  

we’re passing you the aux. what’s your number one club classic? for me, it’ll always be crazy in love. i have been dancing to that song in ways that upset my parents longer than any other, it’d be wrong to say anything else. i had a solo in the eighth grade talent show to that song, and if you really get me on a good night, i might break out a little for you. 

what’s your most iconic night out memory? i used to work in midtown houston, and my favorite nights were the nights we’d bring the mechanical bull out. you ever want to watch people get downright disgusting, you start pouring johnnie walker and then start a grinding competition- yes, it is! that’s all we’re all thinking about when you’re up there, don’t lie! it’s the hips! anyway, i think the most iconic nights out start there, for sure. there may or may not have been a night that we shut it down for some vips from a particularly athletic background that wanted some pointers from the bottle girls on how to stay on longer. and what can i say, i’m nothing if not devoted to quality customer service.

what’s your craziest rideshare story? i had a date that didn’t make it past the lyft one time. literally in the amount of time it took us to ride from my house to the bar, he decided he didn’t think it was going to work out. and i know it’s because he didn’t think i was like, a serious person. he didn’t like my job or whatever, but i gotta say, it made me really self conscious about that dress for a minute too. like, i don’t even look good enough that you’d put up with my unambitious ass through apps? that’s harsh. that’s really harsh.

what’s your typical fast food order after the clubs close? i’m the person who always wants to find some little hole in the wall, or like, a food truck, or something. like, why would we go sit in your car and eat garbage when we could keep the party going down the street or something, you know? and tacos are always the biggest crowd pleaser like that. drunk people at least will always  lose their minds for dry tortilla chips, i can tell you that much.

you ready to kick this interview up a notch? should i be scared?

truth or dare? i’m gonna pick truth.

if your life was a book, what’s the title of the chapter you’re in right now? if my life was a book, this chapter would be the one that’s just called like, “i’m waiting.” i’m in the part of the romance novel that’s like, the maiden in the tower, or whatever. and i’m not like totally helpless, i’m scheming my way out too, but damn, can someone give me a hand?

[trueaffections]

★ word on the street with JOE DOYLE ★

first up, roll call: your position at eden and how long have you done it? my name is joseph todd doyle, i’m a vip server at club eden, and i’m coming up on five years of having been doing that. 

what’s your drink of choice to make for yourself or others? gotta be an old fashioned. something about it, man, like that’s just the drink. it’s the garnishes, right? people also do some really incredible stuff with ice - i’m partial to the sphere myself. i’m an industry professional, i’ve studied this shit, man. that’s why people come to party with us, right?

we’re passing you the aux. what’s your number one club classic? i think a good club song is one that like, from the first second, everyone knows what’s up. like don’t waste my time if it's not something that bar one is going to make everyone lose their mind. i usually have really good luck with hot in herre, i think that’s one that like anyone is going to be able to get into. that should be like, part of the criteria at the doors. i’m gonna talk to bruno about it.

what’s your most iconic night out memory?  a gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell, and all that. but let me see, if we’re looking at like, fourth most iconic, i lost a car in miami once. me and some guys i was working with at this pizza place drove out for spring break, cuz we didn’t go to school but that did that mean we shouldn’t get to party with everyone? course not. anyways, we rent this van, drive it down, hang out at the beach a little while, and then these people invite us out to these campgrounds. basically, we park at the edge of these woods and hike the rest of the way out, and i guess we just all expected someone else to remember where we left it. couple hundred beers later, we’re trying to find the fucking thing to spend the night in, but we were shit out of luck. spent the rest of the fucking weekend looking for it. i gave up on spring break after that, decided to make my own fun on my own schedule.

what’s your craziest rideshare story? i am currently banned from uber, um, because a lovely young woman from the panhandle that was helping me get home one night reported my account after she recognized me from a night out a few summers ago and i didn’t recognize her in an, uh, timely enough manner, i guess. does that count?

what’s your typical fast food order after the clubs close? i literally don’t care where we go as long as there’s fries, that’s the important part. i feel like the starch just sops up all of the bad. i really tried to cut the fried crap, but drunk joe doesn’t cooperate, when he’s got doordash opened up, who knows what call he’ll make.

you ready to kick this interview up a notch? always, baby.

truth or dare? let’s do a dare. 

open your camera roll, close your eyes and scroll to a random image. explain that image. ha. i mean, we can try. they’re not all like, saucy, you know, i take pictures of my dog and shit too - oh, but not this one. yeah, no, we can’t do that one. i’m not trying to get banned from lyft too.

[trueaffections]

★ word on the street with RIO ZARAGOZA ★

first up, roll call: your position at eden and how long have you done it? my name is rio, i’ve worked at eden for literally like, six years. i started as a bartender, then i did the bottle girl thing for a little while, but now i get to dj full time. it’s like, a job that’s literally only gotten better. next up, i’m coming for management, watch out - kidding! definitely kidding. don’t tell manny i said that.

what’s your drink of choice to make for yourself or others? well, they don’t let me drink anymore, but i love making martinis. that’s an attention whore ass drink. I like a drink with pageantry, i get to do the whole little dance with the shaker, and it just looks so like, classic and sexy and chic in her little glass. martinis, for sure.

we’re passing you the aux. what’s your number one club classic? i don’t know if i should give spoilers! i should say you gotta come party with me to find out. but i guess i could give you a little something… oh, maneater by nelly furtado. birthdays, weddings, funerals. i think that’s the song my heart beat in time to.

what’s your most iconic night out memory? before i got all classy about nightlife, i used to go to like, the most disgusting warehouse raves and shit. and i was like, definitely not old enough to be there either, but i could party, so no one caught on. so like, first of all, it was pretty iconic that i narrowly avoided those juvenile charges over and over when we got busted up. but the most iconic was probably my first ever set. i was a little baby in a hot pink party city bob, and i played a bunch of dogshit that i thought was really cool at the time, but the iconic part was just watching how people were just willing to lose their minds and have fun with me, even though i sucked. like that’s the moment i learned it’s never gonna be about being good, it’s about being fun. as long as i bring the party, the rest just falls into place. and that part comes naturally.

what’s your craziest rideshare story? i loooove talking to the uber driver, but i guess i’m a little too forward sometimes. i have been told i am no longer allowed to call what happened in that hyundai sonata a proposal, but what i heard was a very earnest offer to make an honest woman out of me. i hated having to turn him down, but i’m just not ready to give up the streets - now had it been an elantra, it would have been a whole ‘nother story.

what’s your typical fast food order after the clubs close? i love to go to like, a wawa, and get one of the big gross hoagies that’s just chicken tenders on a bun with sauces and salad and whatever. and then if we’re going somewhere else, it’s with a white monster, if we’re heading home, diet dr pepper and sour patch kids that i will not remember to eat before i kick..

you ready to kick this interview up a notch? they wouldn’t let me work here if i wasn’t!

truth or dare? dare!

return the last missed call in your call log right now. last missed call that would be… aww, benny bottles. i mean, i was busy when he called though, i was… getting a manicure. we can call him back though! he’s out front, but he’d probably answer... oh no, was that shady to say?

[trueaffections]

𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘦 !

i heard EMIR KATTAN: a. has lost $1,000 on bad sports bets in a single night. b. really genuinely tried to do stand-up comedy a few years ago until he cried on stage mid-fight with a heckler. c. got fired from his last job when he filled in for a trivia night at the last minute- after consuming a night ruining edible seconds before he agreed.

i heard ELI LANCASTER: a. claims she can hold her breath underwater for three full minutes. b. was dumped via song by her high school sweetheart, who has started dating one of those real sex dolls. c. hugged a bouncer trying to pat her down before a concert the first time she got stoned with her sisters.

i heard GAVIN ONAGA: a. has gorgeous twin baby sisters from his dad's third marriage that he is constantly posing with on instagram. b. grew up a competitive swimmer, until he started struggling with drug tests when he was 17. c. once initiated a facetime call with his dad while the bottle girl who spent the night was still in bed with him. she wasn't on camera or anything but that's weird, right?

i heard JOE DOYLE: a. achieved minor internet fame when a video of him and a flash-in-the-pan tiktok influencer making out sloppy style outside of his literal job went viral. b. bought his houseboat with life insurance money he got when he was orphaned in his early 20s. c. has accidentally hooked up with two sisters in one night on more than one occasion.

i heard JORDAN CHO: a. was poly one summer til both of girlfriends asked him politely to leave the relationship so they could date each other alone in peace. b. played college basketball for university of florida. c. has been hungover enough to attempt to enforce "quiet hour" in the kitchen during a brunch rush.

i heard LAZLO NABIL: a. has lived in 6 countries. b. moved here after he started receiving repeated death threats from the husband of a lady he had on his roster. c. has his tinder age range set 21-60.

i heard MANNY SERRANO: a. used to date a closeted state senator. b. was recently relieved from helping his sister coach youth cheerleading after too many parents complained about his persistent "poor sportsmanship." c. keeps a ranked list of all the concierges in his notes app that he updates biweekly.

i heard SERENA MCCOY: a. grew up with pet goats. b. has only called in twice, and both times it's because she was stuck at the scene of a car accident she caused. c. got divorced from her first husband when she was 20.

i heard SIRI BOWDEN: a. has been tipped more than once for letting girls know when their boyfriends hit on her while they're in the bathroom. b. organized a fight club for the girls at the last club she she worked at. c. refuses let any man spend the night in her bed but her fatass tabby cat named something like Lego

i heard RIO ZARAGOZA: a. has djed a wedding before where she realized she'd slept with the groom the night before. b. lost her virginity on an end-of-year trip to epcot in high school. c. has been apart of more than one flashmob.

[trueaffections]

Yellowjackets 3x07 Joel McHale as Kodiak

[trueaffections]

Headcanons

[trueaffections]

what does ruby kim's bedroom look like?

when ruby met harper she had an annika's leaf bedroom. very airy and cute. pink gingham bedspread a couple of trinkets on a couple of surfaces but you could tell it wasn't like. naturally occurring clutter of living in a space it was very like by design. she was one of those people who wanted her bedroom to be like a quiet place she only used for sleeping. soft, pink lighting. lots of pillows. loud ass sound machine playing storm noises. and i think she did stage it for instagram story photos more than once i'm afraid.

but to be loved is to be changed etc etc. i think after she and harper moved in together she tried really hard to keep the space curated but it just wasn't possible. between the two of them, there's just so many little trinkets and clothes. and they also just spend more time in there than ruby had in her own room when she lived alone, and the debris of nights they spent doing face masks and watching the rachel zoe project while parallel scrolling instagram just starts to add up.

so kind of at this point i feel the vibe transitioned to more of a mid-2000s movie teenage girl who "likes fashion" room. still chic because don't get it twisted they do have good taste. but definitely more eclectic. which only got worse when kira moved in. you want to talk about a lady who makes some eclectic interior designs. ruby had to step out of the room to avoid saying something Hurtful more than once during a discussion about where to place her giant jewel toned room divider with all these birds on it.

and i also think they're all three very dangerous individuals to set loose in a peddler's mall. i just know they're always bringing home some bullshit then having to spend the night renegotiating surface space on the dresser like it just always becomes a whole thing.

ultimately though, i think something that has always been very important to ruby is making sure their apartment visibly belongs to three women. kind of ruling a lot of ruby's aesthetic choices is the fact that she is nearly theologically femme and like that will simply be reflected from their big ruffled comforter to their little dainty adorable silverware. so as long as they can keep in line with that, she'll get over it one day.

[trueaffections]

what is raphael cabrera's college major / how does he fit into the college social scene

raphael's college major is boats and hos god bles.

[trueaffections]

set the scene setting prompts (but a little more specific) from yours truly.

001, a convenience store past midnight.

002, a hospital waiting room at 3 in the morning.

003, a photoshoot outdoors in the middle of winter.

004, an indoor filming set of a detective's office.

005, a new house/apartment filled with unopened cardboard boxes.

006, a swing set in an empty playground at night.

007, on stage in an empty theatre.

008, inside an old abandoned house.

009, an empty cemetery at night.

010, the arrival hall at an airport.

011, the last train compartment that's not full.

012, the roulette table in a casino.

013, on the deck of a cruise ship.

014, a kitchen during a black out, surrounded by candles.

015, a treehouse in the middle of the woods.

016, on the dance floor during a wedding.

017, behind the chapel before the wedding ceremony starts.

018, backstage during the middle of a concert.

019, a crowded club during a bachelorette party.

020, standing in front of a painting at a museum.

021, a small, intimate family barbecue.

022, a gazebo while it's raining.

023, the back of an empty bus.

024, a hotel room with only one bed.

025, an empty balcony while a party goes on inside.

026, a bar just after closing.

027, an empty sports stadium.

028, lakeside while the sun is setting.

030, an empty stretch of road beside a broken down car.

031, in front of a suspicious pool of blood in an empty parking lot.

032, in the crowd of spectators during an underground fight.

033, a plane during a bout of turbulence.

034, on kiss cam at a sports game.

035, at a table during a charity gala.

036, a masquerade ball.

037, a halloween party in a suburban house.

038, the beach in the late afternoon.

039, a dressing room after a big performance.

040, exploring the depths of a mysterious cave.

[trueaffections]

dark dive.

dialogue prompts from dark dive by andrew mayne.

i can tell there's a lot more to this.

return a call, would you?

you know who you are and what makes you happy.

if you ever want any bad advice, you know you can come to me.

are you happy?

you haven't called me ____ in a while.

you have no idea how proud you make me.

sometimes people don't want to be found.

you were there when it counted. you always are.

you don't believe in monsters, do you?

how much more trouble can i get into?

what the hell did you get yourself into?

how did you find this place?

i never asked. maybe i should have.

do you believe half the shit that comes out of your mouth?

i don't want any surprises.

i knew one day, somebody would come asking.

it's time for a reckoning.

you're a slippery bastard, i'll give you that.

come on. somebody knows something.

you must be playing dumb.

from this point on, there's no going back.

you can get into most places with a screwdriver and five minutes of youtube instruction.

i have something i want to show you.

this almost never happens.

have you ever been out here after dark?

you don't strike me as the supernatural type.

i want to hear what you believe.

i didn't even get into the really weird stuff.

desperate means dangerous.

just keep doing what you're doing.

everyone is suspicious to me.

i get the sense you're not being challenged enough.

i only trust the ones who know when i need saving.

i have many eggs in many baskets.

what does your gut tell you?

don't tell anyone yet. it's complicated.

if anything weird happens, just get the hell out of here.

it ain't pretty, but you're going to be fine.

i need you to shut the fuck up.

it's all wrong. nothing has been like we thought.

aren't you supposed to be convalescing?

you're smart, but you're not as smart as you think you are.

a lot of things could go wrong with that plan.

you're driving now?

[trueaffections]

i mean i know its not what the song is about but i think it applies to the sort of love triangle i imagine these three to be locked in atp. because like both of these girls are just too clever to be oblivious to what's going on here.

i think for cleo it was really powerful at first. as someone who maybe has a little trouble committing, what better way to dip your toe into commitment than by dating a guy who's in love with his neighbor? cruz was fun to hang out with on thirsty thursday and she didn't have to feel guilty about continuing to post thirst traps to get attention from a guy who gave her a tattoo when she was 19, so like win-win. plus, she's never been one to be afraid of putting on a show, so like how sweet of him to be handing her not just a juicy role but an attentive audience.

and honestly it worked for iris too. she got to be his friend and hang out without having to worry about all that other stuff clouding things up. they'd missed their moment and that was sad but fine and it was for the best that he was moving on with someone that seemed to be so uncomplicatedly fun. in iris's world, that's the happiest ending here: uncomplicated and fun, everyone back in their neat little boxes with their happy ever afters. she'd already fucked his up once and she wouldn't do it again.

so like yeah they know their roles here. but as long as they stay in them, it should all be fine. i think in both cases though there's just a point where it's just not enough.

like it's fun and all to play house but there's a line you cross eventually where it's not a performance anymore. you can only big spoon that other lady's soulmate so many times before it starts to feel like maybe he's your's. and like it has to mean something that against all odds, he hasn't broken up with her yet, right? it'd be a little fucked up to explain to their kids one day, but there are worse things to be than a little fucked up if it all works out otherwise.

and iris try as hard as she might has just never been as disciplined as she thinks she is. like as nice as it is to get to hang out with cruz as a friend and still have that relationship, when the night's over, she watches him leave with someone else. and it pisses her off because she just literally wasn't done talking to him yet. and like how do you "its for the best" your way out of being jealous of the fact that cleo's gonna be the one to get to debrief with him after the group hang.

just a bit of a pickle.

incoming cleo/cruz/iris "how bad do u want me?" fanvid

[trueaffections]

cuz u hate the crash but u love the rush and i'll make your heart weak every time..... you hear my name and she's on your brain and i'm here to kiss you in real life..... do you see the vision....

incoming cleo/cruz/iris "how bad do u want me?" fanvid

[trueaffections]

incoming cleo/cruz/iris "how bad do u want me?" fanvid

[trueaffections]

last 3 things ezra, zoe, & maisyn tweeted about 💅

ezra's last tweet is deadass a poster for transformers dark of the moon because his heart just isn't in posting i think he gave up on it in middle school. unfortunately i'm starting with the only one i can't in good conscience "yes and" because he gives me suchhhhh guy who's really into instagram vibes. like he's still using filters on pictures of his dog. he's posting the views from various vistas with inspirational quotes. but he does do the thing where it all cross posts on facebook. has to make sure the skillfully shot and edited photo of finn hanna holding a frog reaches a wide audience.

zoe's twitter is a veryyy reality tv focused space. i think she's one of those people that like livetweets the bachelor and is always sharing 90 day fiancee memes. i think zoe has oomfs like i dont think her account is notable by any means but she is not afraid to get up in people's replies and dm's. all of this interspersed with like pictures of baby animals and random teacher memes.

maisyn's last tweet was to her priv account where she just saves hydraulic press videos to watch before bed later. her last original content was to her main account where she's keeping a thread of screenshots of articles austin texts her on sunday mornings with vaguely threatening warnings like Heads Up.. (alarmist emergencies like the burmese pythons, various conspiracy theories, anything about upcoming local weather). she likes to consider it his little newsletter

[trueaffections]

i can hope tonight goes differently, but i show up to the party just to leave.

canon. pinterest. third thing? none of these work yet, i'll get to it.

[trueaffections]

who else up thinking about aaron riley lancaster