trevor-da-tractor

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Remember back in 2011 when Obama had GOP members over for dinner, and he served so many peas that the republicans made him eat their servings, and a bunch of cartoonists argued about who made whom eat peas?

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a good apron hugs your voluptuous curves tight like bondage. only then can you enter the chef zone

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I am, like, a long running proponent of the "eat something and you'll feel better" crowd and am often one of the first people to suggest "maybe it's time for a snack before I get whipped into a frenzy" but I really do resent how instantaneous it is. like it'll feel like I'm having my worst day in months and then I'll start eating and literally before I even finish I'm like oh yeah the world is beautiful

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they should make clothes that are designed by people who are familiar with human anatomy & physiology

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and it’s like. don’t get me wrong. i understand why it’s controversial to say that your boundaries WILL get crossed. like i get it. but listen. are you mythologizing sex? are you putting it on a pedestal where it is completely separate from other human actions? are there other social situations where you believe there is ZERO margin for error? if you genuinely believe that no mistakes or accidents ever happen during sex between consenting adults, i can only imagine you’ve never had sex, you don’t make your partners feel safe coming to you when they feel uncomfortable, or you have a fundamental misunderstanding of how boundaries work. it’s not that it’s GOOD or that we should NORMALIZE crossing boundaries, it’s that we recognize that human interaction is complicated and sometimes there’s stuff to work through rather than just burning it all down.

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vampire appreciators have two modes:

it’s about the secret darkness inside you. it’s about not being able to tell if it controls you or you control it. it’s about the wrestle between who you want to be and who you need to be. the conversation between the gruesome and the uncontainable

sexy guy bite neck sexily. biting

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You are NOT going to kill yourself! You're going to outlive that 80 year old cheeto and be first in line to turn his grave into a gender neutral toilet. You're going to make it through the next four years. Do you hear me?

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did it work

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eww why are you having salad

are you five years old

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hate coming to terms with things. i should be able to cast a fireball instead

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Accidentally wound up on "hear me out cake" tiktok, and I swear, if another one of these bitches puts down an at-most-unconventionally-attractive human man, Lady Dimitrescu or Nick Wilde/Robin Hood I am going to lose my fucking mind.

Saw one where the first person they named was Disney's Aladdin and I tapped out so hard I entered a fugue state and didn't regain full consciousness for like a solid hour.

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hey in case you didn't know trans inclusive terminology in healthcare is not about protecting peoples feelings, it's to stop insurance companies from going "well it says here that hysterectomies are a procedure performed on WOMEN and you keep insisting that you're a MAN so we do not in fact have to cover that have a nice day and eat shit"

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I think about how hayao miyazaki said that love is two people inspiring each other to live. and to live doesn’t just mean to be alive. living involves finding beauty in the simple moments of being. so to inspire someone to be in awe of the simplicity of living? that’s special