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*  elizasteas  !

          the morning rush is already dying down a bit, the smell of coffee and clinking of mugs and silverware a quiet and comforting thrum that filters over the quiet music playing over the speakers in the cafe. eliza loves this time of morning, how people can sit and stay rather than running out the door so they won’t be late for work. watching friends chat over coffee and breakfast sandwiches. a familiar head of dark hair passes the window on the way to the door and it only takes her half a second to check the clock before turning to the coffee maker. it had thrown her for a bit of a loop when rafael started coming in later after the school year ended but it was easy enough to fall into a new routine.           “good morning, rafael!” she calls without looking away from the coffee machine when the bell above the door rings.

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             the familiar chiming of the shop’s bell brings a soft smile to the older’s lips and it only WIDENS at the owner’s usual greeting . ❝ morning , eliza , ❞ he returns , not as much as enthusiasm as hers but the sincerity’s there . a creature of habit , though he’s been trying not to be , rafael takes a seat at his favourite spot ( in the corner , right by the window ) and gently sets his messenger bag down . he pulls out the novel he’s been WORKING on for the last couple of days , outliers by malcolm gladwell — maybe not the best read for someone in his situation but he has always been a REALIST . ❝ how are you today ? ❞ he questions , looking up for a brief moment , features stretching back into a kind smile .

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*  justcharlctte  !

     “ well — ” says charlotte, another glance at her cup. “ i supposed i could be named kira. do you know how many ways you can spell kira? far too many, i think. ” she giggles a bit and drinks more of her latte, shoulders rising in a shrug. “ JOHN could be interesting. a rather fitting name for myself, i think. ”

           her little commentary brings an amused SMILE to his lips and rafael’s brows rise upwards in agreement . ❝ i suppose that’s true , ❞ he shrugs . at her response to his suggestion , the older tilts his head at the girl , eyes narrowing slightly in feigned OBSERVANCE . ❝ hm , i agree . you definitely look like a john , but you seem like the upbeat type so .. maybe johnny would work better . ❞

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*  helenaieo  !

      she scoffs. “huh. was it me? or was it you subconsciously knowing you should do something better with your off day other than bumming around that outdated place of yours?” she wears a knowingly thin lipped smirk. anyone can see it’s too early to be sporting around a five o’clock shadow, yet here he is, right alongside her, stealing chips he should be replacing with a protein shake. but there’s a part of her that can’t blame him for his freezing emotional turmoil ; the other part continues to say that life goes on — and has been for the past several months. she looks to ric, then snatches the bag away from him. “i’m sorry…” sarcasm ensues, “did you buy these?? stop complaining and enjoy the fresh air before i kick you out there.”

            he wrinkles his nose at her in indignance — tongue out and blowing a raspberry forgone , but the INTENTION’S there . he doesn’t know how she does it but helena always did bring out his childish side , one he didn’t even know existed . ❝ outdated ? ❞ he scoffs , ❝ that’s a five year old , eight hundred and sixty square foot condo . i paid like , NINE HUNDRED THOUSAND dollars for that place . ❞ he turns to her with a raised brow . ❝ at a price point like that , i like to think of it more as .. enriching yourself and appreciating your surroundings rather than BUMMING OUT , thank you very much . ❞ alright , maybe he’s been a little , down in the dumps as of late , but it’s only been a couple of MONTHS — was there some sort of unwritten rule on how long it should take to get over a divorce ? rafael reaches for another chip before she quickly pulls the bag away and his hand is left hovering in peak grabbing position . letting out a sigh , he throws his hands in the air , green hues rolling at her words as he turns . ❝ always so CHARMING ,  ❞ he mutters , slumping against the bench .

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*  riiinaro  !

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she had been wrapped in a cream fuzzy blanket, thick black glasses against her eyes and a glass of wine between her finger painted nails when her ex-husband knocked at the front door. their son was in his room, finishing up whatever homework he head from that day at school. after rina let him in, the female took her ex-husband into the kitchen that they had shared as their own just a little bit ago. “i’m getting him a car,” were the next words to come out of her mouth, the him referring to their son. it would eliminate the awkward encounters around town, let alone the awkward encounters inside their own home. “he could drive himself to school, drive himself to practice, drive himself everywhere.” the glass of wine locked against her lips once she was done, hoping the cold liquid would take place of the silence. 

             rafael sighs , looking up as an attempt to meet her gaze but it falls SHORT at the last minute. ❝ rin — ❞ the nickname passes easily from his lips and the moment doesn’t escape him but now it’s too late to CORRECT it . he pauses , hesitant , before continuing , simply opting for pretending that it just never happened . ❝ doesn’t it occur to you that maybe i like picking him up and driving him around ? it’s gives us a nice opportunity to really TALK . ❞ rafael shrugs a shoulder and raises his brows at her expectantly , ❝ do you really expect me to just stand outside and wait like some sort of dog ?? i used to live here too , you know . ❞

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*  a  starter  for  @riightwords  !

                 rafael had to admit — he was grateful for kacey’s company . it was a comforting reminder that he wasn’t ALONE in this world . not only was kacey a single father as well , but he too had recently ( more or less ) gone through a divorce — went through a similar sort of heartbreak . ❝ hey , ❞ he greets with a small smile . rounding their table , rafael sets down the two coffee cups on their respective sides and takes his seat . ❝ got you your usual sooo i hope you weren’t looking to try something NEW .. ❞ rafael’s words are said with a lighthearted tone , finished with a teasing quirk of his brow .

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*  nicmoretti  !

    “if there’s anything else i can get for you, now’s the best time to tell me.” the kitchen was getting ready to close up the diner for the night, and though they usually stop taking orders by now, she could probably convince them to whip up a brownie sundae or put another pot of coffee on if she needed to ; she learned early on that making friends with the people in back would benefit her in the long run, and it has. “otherwise i can get you the bill?”

                blinking away the sleep , rafael glances up at the girl and stared BLANKLY at her for a moment before finally comprehending what she had said . ❝ oh — ! shit , sorry . ❞ scrambling for his papers that littered the table , he shakes his head , embarrassed . rafael wasn’t usually that guy — he’s worked at enough fast food joints to learn that he hated that guy , but he needed someplace to work and the condo was just too quiet whenever milo wasn’t around . ❝ the bill’s fine , thank you . i’m — i’m so sorry , ❞ he sighs . pulling a twenty out of his pocket , rafael holds it out to her with a SHEEPISH expression , ❝ you can uh — keep the change . ❞ he had only ordered a single cup of coffee but the rest was more for himself , to compensate for his own guilt .

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*  brendanorwell  !

There were few things in life that brought Brendan any semblance of joy anymore, but one of those few things was taking the Skytrain. It was an odd thing to take pleasure in sure, but it was a good way for him to avoid thinking about his own life, and think about the lives of the people around him instead. This particular ride offered a wide variety of different people to observe and wonder about, as the Skytrain was quite packed. He was so caught up in his people watching, that it took Brendan a moment to realize that someone was now standing quite near him due to the lack of available seats. Sighing a bit to himself at the impending social interaction he was about to partake in, he moved his bag from the seat beside him. “You uh…can sit here, if you want.” He said to the person without really looking at them.

             despite being more of the reticent type , rafael had never really been bothered by chaotic environments — simply opting to just drown them out . today , his little habit nearly cost him a very nice on the skytrain , almost missing the younger man’s offer . and rafael would’ve if he hadn’t felt him physically shift over , his knees lightly brushing the back of his legs . ❝ oh — ! ❞ he mumbled in surprise , twisting awkwardly to glance at the seat as well as the kind stranger . but his face was blurry , barely reaching his peripheral vision . ❝ thank you , ❞ he returned anyways , sighing slightly — solely out of his own exhaustion . 

            with his messenger bag resting on his lap , rafael eased into the seat and readily turned to face the person with a grateful smile and a more sincere form of thanks . but when green hues fell upon a familiar face , raf’s brows instinctively pulled together , he asked slowly , ❝ .. brendan .. ?? ❞ but rafael already knew the answer to his question and hesitant smile slowly began to form itself on his lips .

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*  helenaieo  !

all the go-doers are alive and in charge ; the skaters, the cyclers, even the tenants of their pop-up resting points who sell over priced bottles of water. this morning, helena opts into the proactive shtick of getting some exercise because, really, she can’t remember the last time she’s done anything for the sake of her own health benefit. yoga seemed like a good idea at the time… until she saw an empty bench that overlooked the rest of the park, the foam mats littering the green grass. clad in workout clothes, she decides it’d be better to take a seat and reveal a bag of classic lays potato chips to indulge in. a shadow overcomes and helena halts with a nonchalant tilt of her head ——— “i thought about joining, but then i remembered my body doesn’t bend that way.”

           rafael turned to the blonde with a quirked brow , hand subtlety moving across his lap to sneak a potato chip . ❝ i can’t believe you convinced ME to think about joining , ❞ he retorted , his tone almost accusing . popping the chip in his mouth , he shook his head with a scoff , gaze returning to the class that consisted of mostly fit , young , women . definitely not a group that he would easily BLEND INTO but he’d been pushing himself to try new things since [ redacted ] left , not wanting to become a creature of habit , again . maybe it was his need to prove others wrong about him or maybe he was doing it for her , either way , he’s been TRYING . but , yoga ? had he lost his mind ?? ❝ i swear , ❞ the man huffs , taking another chip — this time less shy , ❝ you’re trying to kill me , elle . ❞  

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*  justcharlctte  !

     “ uh— ” gaze looks at the cup in her hand, a bemused expression crossing her face before she lets out a little laugh and shakes her head. “ —-who spells charlotte with and s? ” like whatever, this isn’t going to effect her day at all but seriously people?

open!

        his nose scrunches in a grimace at the girl’s words , head tilting slightly . ❝ alright , i understand people like to be ... unique , but no one in their right MIND could possibly think that that’s a REAL name . ❞ green hues take a subtle glance at her cup and lips stretch into a restrained smile , ❝ next time , just tell them your name’s john , that’s what i do . ❞

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hihi everyone !! lily here with my favourite son , raffy !!! but like .. if you call him that he’ll definitely get booty tickled :/ anymeme , i’m just gonna warn you guys now that this intro’s gonna be pure garbage . like i know people joke but srsly ... anyways i have a stats page for raf here and a wc tag here but no bio bc i ... don’t have the emotional energy for that SO here’s the run down !

* raul esparza , forty five , cismale — hey , have you seen rafael romero anywhere ? i’m hearing beyond the sea by bobby darin so he must be around here somewhere . hm , maybe they’re at home in commercial drive or at work . they’re a high school teacher , y’know . people also call them the academic ‘cause they can be pretty reserved & stubborn . but others say they’re also benevolent & empathetic , so i guess it balances out .

okay not to be dramatic but .. raf had a pretty rough childhood idk why but ... all of my muses did .. maybe i’m projecting or maybe i like 2 suffer but uk.. its wtvr ig :/ 

background

death tw / cancer tw

— born in dawson creek , british columbia , raf’s family had to move to the small city of grande prairie when he was around eight years old . his dad was laid off from his job at the oil patch and they moved to alberta for the supposedly better jop opportunities but with only a high school diploma and his lack of ambition , there really wasn’t much there for him . 

— with 5 kids in the family and an unemployed dad , raf always kinda knew the #struggle . and when he thought things couldn’t get any harder ! raf’s mom was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer his freshman year of high school , it kinda ran in her side of the family . then by the time sophomore year rolled around , raf was helping his dad plan her funeral .

— after that , things really started going downhill fast . his dad still couldn’t find a job and started pretty much flaking on them , disappearing multiple nights in a row , drinking heavily . raf’s dad was a good man , respectful , and care about his kids but just not enough . it came to a point when raf reached his eighteenth birthday that he just left them , with nothing more than a note apologizing , saying they’d do better without him . 

— throughout high school and up until his college years you better believe that raf was on that work grind™ . his mom left him and his siblings the house plus a decent amount of money but he wanted to save that money for their schooling so he was working multiple jobs at a time , some full time , just to support himself and his siblings . raf missed so much school one year that he almost failed his junior year of high school . but grande prairie was a small place and all of his teachers pretty much knew what was going on so they cut him some slack .

— really , they pitied the kid . they tried really hard to help him in whatever way they could his senior year since they knew raf actually had potential . they got him to focus more on his education and work just that much harder and it all paid off ! because raf got a full-ride scholarship to the university of british columbia . things really started looking up after this .

— since he refused to leave his siblings behind , raf sold their house in grande prairie and used the money from that with the money their mom left them to move himself and his siblings to the tiniest , cheapest apartment he could find in vancouver . while still working , in ubc he completed his bachelor’s in english and afterwards he got accepted into their law school .

— after law school , raf flitted around the city between different jobs at smaller firms for a couple of years until landing a decent one at one of the city’s top corporate law firms . there , he worked his way up and up through the years , earning a name for himself in the city until he reached the title of senior partner . throughout this , he supported his siblings , helping put them through college , etc .

— it was some time around this point in his life that raf fell in love , got married , and had a kid of his own . but he was so focused on work , not wanting his family to go through the same financial struggles he did , that he completely forgot about spending time with his wife and son . this was the main reason his wife divorced him and moved out of their condo and this kinda .. what led raf to ~reinvent~ himself and have a reverse mid-life crisis jfdijfing

— so he dropped his HIGH-PAYING JOB AT A TOP NOTCH CORPORATE LAW FIRM smh ,,, and picked up a teaching job at his sons high school :/ can u say .. embarrasing .. but he a smort binch and worked smth out money wise so that they’re not broke .... like a savings ? im a dum binch so idk but like ... yeah ....

— so like right now , raf just wants to spend time with his son , inspire kids , help them the way his old teachers helped them in high school . even tho ... he kinda fucked emotionally , doesn’t think his feelings are valid ... #relatable #toxic masculinity ,, but like hes TRYING ok 

connections

— coworkers !! pls ! maybe they get along , maybe raf hates them , maybe they hate raf , gimme all of it !

— friends ! casual or more the ride or die , “i won’t let you go through this alone” type , whatever works !!

— former students . again , maybe they hated each other , or maybe ! raf changed someone’s life , a gal can only dream right ...

— neighbours . if ur muse lives in commercial drive in a maybe nicer condo , cause y’know , he spoils his son , then ! maybe they cld be neighbours !!

— uhhh people who are friends w his son ? idk that’s kinda weird but he’s like 17/18 sooo uk , go off

— someone that knew him from his #lawyerdays would be cool too ! so if your muse is in tht typa scene .. they cld meet him now n be like ... wow u rlly downgraded :/

— idk being a dad is natural to him , he’s been a dad since he was like 15 so if ur muse needs guidance ... the light ... a father figure ... big brother .... let a heaux know cause i think raf lowkey thrives off of being needed ....

— anything else ! if you have any other ideas or maybe we shld just surprise ourselves and completely do it chem based , that’s cool too ! i’m literally down for anything !!

there’s a bunch of personality stuff on  his stats page i don’t wanna make this any longer than it already is SO THATS IT IM DONE IM GOING TO STOP TYPING NOW BUT PLS !! give my sad boi some life

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Raúl Esparza in ‘A New American Religion’ (The Path, S03E12)

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Cities are built from ruins. I think people are too.

Midnight Excerpts #24 // L.H.Z (via lhzthepoet)

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To succeed had become an obsession.

Zelda Fitzgerald, Save Me the Waltz (via rocknrollreads)