tranquiloakshoa

[tranquiloakshoa]

July Newsletter

Happy Independence Month residents of Tranquil Oaks! We, at the HOA board, are looking forward to your many celebrations! We just needed to give a few housekeeping reminders!

1) Unfortunately the town fireworks have been cancelled this year. Additionally all fireworks, flares, sparklers, and roman candles are banned this year as well. We have been alerted by the county police department that these only serve to attract the attention of the roving hoard of the undead currently making its way through our fair county.

2) If your already purchased your fireworks for this year, we request that you place them in the community stockpile located at the pool house for future possible emergency use.

3) Due to above mentioned hoard, we will be strictly enforcing the gate policy. No non-residents are to enter at any times. Larry, our gate custodian, will be checking every occupant of a vehicle for signs of vitality or injury. We apologize in advance for any inconvenience.

4) Likewise, all outdoor BBQs are to be cancelled until further notice. Grilling meats seem to entice the former foodies and chefs among the undead. They have proven themselves fiendishly clever when Wagu beef is involved.

5) Please review the "Undead Incursion" Handbook delivered to each household to review our policies regarding proper handling of successfully dispatched corpses, quarantine requirements for bitten household members, and the ideal aspects to creating a last will and testament. Will Cooke, esq. has volunteered his legal services for any who have recently lost touch with their family attorney.

Thank you for your attention and have a wonderful and safe July 4th!

Your Association President,

Karyn Bradford.

Announcements:

-Please congratulate Kelly Buford on her formal acceptance of her offer to Stanford!

-We are hiring new members to our landscaping and maintenance crew, all hires must be thoroughly examined and vetted by Dr. Fuller.

-Please see the lost pet notices at the pool house for the following dearly beloved four footed members of our community: Susanna Wellington Barksalot, Mrs. Sanderfloof, and Corey the Turtle.

Upcoming Community Events:

-July 5th- Dr. Wilford will be hosting a seminar at the clubhouse "So Your Family Member is a Zombie, Now What?" at 7pm, light refreshments to be served

-July 10th- Neighborhood Watch recruitment drive- Sgt. Wilson and his crack team want you on their side! Join the watch now! Poolside with demonstrations and balloon animals, 12-3pm.

- July 15th- Garden Club- new members welcome! Clubhouse, 2pm.