tragedyplagued

[tragedyplagued]

     “---make fun of vanilla sex all you want, at least i don’t need a car battery attached to my nipples to get off.”

              “you had needles shoved through your nipples AND your dick, don’t you come out here and shame me for being a kinky bitch!”

[tragedyplagued]

     oh no. be prepared for whatever bullshit is about to leave this bastard’s mouth, that smile never means anything good. “hey, uh, do you know where the general keeps his armies?”

[tragedyplagued]

     he may have been drinking, just a little bit. “if anyone needs me, and they better fucking not, i’ll be out screaming in the forest. no need to call the police, i am the police.” he may need a nap.

[tragedyplagued]

“ Call me the Titanic, because I’m sinking about you. ” // @ wesker

@thickcrskiin

     there was amusement in his features. “you’re ridiculous,” wesker commented before he held her closer. he wouldn’t really have her any other way though.

[tragedyplagued]

“ Tired. Sleepy. Need money. ” // @ chris

@thickcrskiin

     “i can maybe fix like. two of those things. if you wanna take a nap anyway.”

[tragedyplagued]

Rooster Teeth Starters Pt. 1

“ Life’s not a bitch. Life is a beautiful woman. ” “ Oh dog dog dog dog dog. There’s a dog next to you. Please pet ot. It needs to be pet. ” “ Where am I? What way up am I? ” “ I don’t hate kids, I’m inconvenienced by them. ” “ Brunch is how I learned to be a classy alcoholic. ” “ I love hating people. ” “ Tears make great lube. ” “ Everybody was gay in the 90s. ” “ You sucked my nipples! ” “ On a scale of one to fucked up, guess where I am right now. ” “ The ocean has no corners. ” “ We are not moving on until I know what a blue waffle is. ” “ I need to lay down and die now. ” “ That was traumatic. ” “ I cam here to tell clean, wholesome, family jokes, and you make me show my balls/tittys! ” “ There’s nothing more relaxing than a coma. ” “ Thanks or being the closest thing I have to friends. ” “ Cool is an emotion. ” “ I guess I’m a dumb bitch. ” “ Gravity is bullshit. ” “ I hate everyone equally. ” “ People aren’t cats. ” “ I have never stuck a finger in my asshole in a sexy way and sent it to a partner because they asked me to do it. ” “ From sucking dicks to eating cake. I love it! ” “ Considering this may be my last testament, tell everyone I know to go fuck themselves. ” “ I’m only gay in my car. ” “ They died being killed. ” “ Call me the Titanic, because I’m sinking about you. ” “ I’m sucking that big dick in the sky right now. ” “ Virginity is like your GPA when you’re an adult. No one fucking cares. ” “ Tired. Sleepy. Need money. ” “ Get fucked, me. ” “ I’m a lovely delicate flower, and also just fuck me hard. ” “ I thought the moon was a mile away in sixth grade. ” “ All the pretty things are broken. ” “ You were born to be THAT guy. ” “ France is in Italy, right? ” “ How up is space? ” “ Shiver me titties. ” “ I have the reflexes of a potato. ” “ I BLEACHED MY BUTTHOLE FOR YOU. ” “ Cockadoodle bitch biscuit. ” “ Is my finger suposed to bend this way? ” “ You don’t get warmer than hell. ” “ You look like you fingered Elmo. ” “ Look at all those wack-ass trees! ” “ I wish you were naked. ” “ Are you havin’ my ass? ” “ You can’t out-think someone who doesn’t think. ” “ You’ve gotta fuck things sometimes! ” “ I get turned on by people who can beat the shit out of me. ” “ I was just thinking about horse dick. ” “ Ding Dong, asshole! ” “ With great power comes, uh, you fuck shit up a lot. ” “ You can be beautiful on the inside and outside, you piece of shit. ” “ I am concerned about everything. ” “ Good lord on a bike. ” “ Time to make like a tree and branch. ” “ Here’s a fun fact about [[name]]. They’re dying from the inside out. ” “ I don’t trust the sun anymore. ” “ I didn’t think that Uno without dicks could be fun. ” “ First one to pass out is a bitch. ” “ Y'all are supposed to shut the fuck up. ” “ I’m going to mars out of SPITE motherfucker. ” “ I’m made of bad ideas. ” “ I don’t believe in numbers because I think they’re stupid. ” “ I agreed to a scary game, not a dildo in my mouth. ”

[tragedyplagued]

joseph frost is a tramp who never deserved to be brought back. ( this is what you wanted,,, right? )

send anons about my muse’s relationship! || @loyaltysworn​

     jaw clenched. hands balled into fists. hunk was really restraining himself from beating the shit out of the other, and rebecca, bless her heart, was trying to keep him calm. poor thing knew it was pointless though. “i’ll give you ten seconds to take that back before i invert your rib cage.”

[tragedyplagued]

namiko nivans is just a whore and being in a relationship with him is a mistake because he'd only ever want one thing. ( thanks! i hate it! )

send anons about my muse’s relationship! || @loyaltysworn​ (two for one special)

     “fuck you.” rage boiled in leon’s veins. “shut the fuck up and go fuck yourself. nami isn’t anything like what you’re saying. leave him the fuck alone and apologize, cunt.”

     you know what one of the most terrifying sounds is? the bitter laughter of the gods. so many voices laughing coming from a single body. wesker snarled and glared. “ya wanna run that by me again, you racist piece of shit?” eyes were red, fangs bared. so what if he was living up to his own stereotype, no one says shit like that and gets away with it.

[tragedyplagued]

AYO CHRISTOPHER -- how did you meet jonah and how did that lead to you marrying the bastard?

send anons about my muse’s relationship! || @loyaltysworn​ 

     grin slowly started to spread across his face, “walked into the svu, saw that bastard that looked like he had a stick up his ass and made it my personal mission to get him to loosen up.” god, this was going to be one hell of a story wasn’t it?

     “we were assigned to be partners so, you know, had plenty of opportunities to annoy the shit out of him, but we worked well together. i think i impressed him and i made him smile once and that was that start of it. i wanted to annoy him as long as i could and he kept tolerating it, eventually he started going along with my bullshit and he was impossible not to fall for.”

     there was a loving smile, amusement in his eyes. “one day joking just went too far. realized it wasn’t really joking anymore and, you know, sexual tension broke. knew pretty much from that point on i never wanted to be without him. he made me so fuckin’ happy and it just got to that point, you know? saw a life with him, wanted to have it.”

[tragedyplagued]

alright, wesker, how did you and namiko meet? and how, despite the backgrounds you both have, did you end up together? do you have any regrets?

send anons about my muse’s relationship! || @loyaltysworn

     the only reason they were getting honesty was because he felt safe enough to. “i saw him in passing at umbrella. never really talked until i saw him at the rpd with a puppy.” god, seeing him like that really was the start of it all wasn’t it? “it took a lot of time. we built up each other’s trust enough to be close at work and it just. . . happened. i don’t regret a thing.”

[tragedyplagued]

Send my muse anons about their relationships.

dominaedenixarchive-deactivated

Canon ships, non-canon, OTPs you have or OTPs I have. Send them. Make my muse giddy, break my muse, make them laugh or cry. Do your best.

[tragedyplagued]

"I used to wonder when humanity will learn that their actions and selfish pursuits have harmful consequences, but I've officially determined that the answer is never," Ash muttered, seeming existed, "The flavor of the era is hubris and soon the earth will learn to live without us."

     there was a sigh from the chimera, having had musings similar to ash’s own far too often. “nothing’s changed from the past. humans have always been this way and always will be.the earth will be lucky to survive long enough to learn to live without people.”

[tragedyplagued]

Things you said

prompts: 1) things you said at 1 am 2) things you said through your teeth 3) things you said too quietly 4) things you said over the phone 5) things you didn’t say at all 6) things you said under the stars and in the grass 7) things you said while we were driving 8) things you said when you were crying 9) things you said when I was crying 10) things you said that made me feel like shit 11) things you said when you were drunk 12) things you said when you thought I was asleep 13) things you said at the kitchen table 14)things you said after you kissed me 15) things you said with too many miles between us 16) things you said with no space between us 17) things you said that I wish you hadn’t 18) things you said when you were scared 19) things you said when we were the happiest we ever were 20) things you said that I wasn’t meant to hear 21) things you said when we were on top of the world 22) things you said after it was over 23) things you said on the streetcar at 1 am 24) things you said with clenched fists 25) things you said in the back seat of a cab 26) things you said sitting still 27) things you said on the phone at 4 am 28) things you said but not out loud 29) things you said in the backyard at night 30) things you said on the highway 31) things you said while I cried in your arms 32) things you said I wouldn’t understand 33) things you said at the back of the theatre 34) things you said in your sleep 35) things you said that made me feel real 36) things you said you’ll never forget 37) things you said with the tv on mute 38) things you said while holding my hand’ 39) things you said when we first met 40) things you said when you met my parents 41) things you said you loved about me 42) things you said when you asked me to marry you 43) things you said in our vows 44) things you said before you kissed me 45) things you said on new year’s eve 46) things you said when you kissed me goodnight 47) things you said in a hotel room 48) things you said on our honeymoon 49) things you said when we were 18 50) things you said when we were 70 51) things you said as we danced in our socks 52) things you said with my lips on your neck 53) things you said in the dark 54) things you always meant to say but never got the chance 55) things you said under your breath 56) things you said in the spur of the moment 57) things you said when no one else was around 58) things you were afraid to say 59) things you said after we fell in love 60) things you said [make your own]

(reposted from here because the syntax is broken)

[tragedyplagued]

oh, jake was way too aware of what finn was up to after he realized that FUCKING mercenary had snuck away. does he want to be? not at all... son of a bitch. jake hadn't planned on sleeping anyway, so he's now stuck waiting up like a disappointed parent. maybe he is. so when finn (that bastard) returns, jake gets close, yelling in a whisper. "what the hell, finn?" and in comes the mercenary with a smug look on his face. at least the little bastard returned. jake still wants to strangle him.

@loyaltysworn

     look, finn was done in the moment that bastard flirted with him, he really doesn’t know what jake expected. especially when the chimera seemed to be drawing out the absolute worst in him in no time at all. maybe he really wasn’t thinking with his head but-- it felt like he had to have that moment with piers, like if he didn’t he would regret it. so what if he was absolutely in trouble now that he was back? finn just had a hell of a time with piers and nothing was going to kill the high he got from it. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.” a damn lie whispered through a smile.

[tragedyplagued]

" jake is mean and said i have rabies. " they're both children, really. [ from piers ofc,, ]

@loyaltysworn

     he bit back his immediate thought, instead going to awful advice. “so bite him.”

[tragedyplagued]

✿ [look. I'm a sleeby fool and too tired to send multiple like heathen bls just... some good stuff for some of our kids. It what they deserve ]

there’s gonna be so many kisses and hugs || @loyaltysworn

31. hot steamy kiss

     look, if they were better employees they likely wouldn’t be here right now. and yet, they somehow managed to remain alpha team even as they hid in the supply closet. hunk pressed joseph against the door and roughly crashed their lips together. there was a desire he had trouble shaking, overwhelming him with a lust. he pressed their bodies as close together as they could be, tongue sliding between joseph’s lips and grinding his hips against joseph’s until moans escaped, caught by the other’s mouth. more. hunk wanted all that joseph was willing to give.

2. all over kiss

     if there was one thing leon was, it was a sappy bastard. he was overwhelmed with emotion as he looked at namiko in the afterglow, so very in love with that sweet face and that soft, sleepy smile. leon couldn’t help himself. the kisses started on namiko’s forehead, trailing down the side of his face to his cheek bone and then his nose. a kiss pressed to his lips and a smile against them. “i love you,” leon spoke softly before kissing at his jaw, then his neck and down his torso. he stopped at nami’s stomach, perhaps getting a little too emotional as tears threatened to spill over. “i love you so much.”

48. unreciprocated hug

     it was absolutely nothing against namiko. wesker just. . . well he didn’t even have words for it. it happened again. and he knew he looked upset and hurt and. . . and, while he really just wanted his mother that was impossible. what was possible was finding comfort with the one person alive that he truly trusted.

     he flinched when namiko touched him. he hated himself for it. he hated the sick feeling in his stomach when nami’s arms wrapped around him and he hated the fact he couldn’t bring himself to hug back. the panic finally set in fully. he could hear nami purring in attempts to calm him down but it was ineffective. there were a lot of tears. there was a vulnerability only namiko would have the displeasure of seeing.

     wesker couldn’t hug back. he couldn’t find comfort in the physical touch. but at least he felt safe. he felt like he wouldn’t do something that would upset his friends or namiko.

21. upside down kiss

     look. . . look. sometimes you just end up hanging upside down from the fire escape. it happens. probably. the good news was that they caught the bastard they were after! that was all that mattered! probably. 

     jonah rolled his eyes as he approached christopher, the man was unbelievable. how did he even manage to get stuck like that?

     “honeybun,” christopher whined uselessly. “wait come here, i wanna try something.”

     and jonah knew exactly what it was, he also knew if he didn’t do it christopher was going to pout for a week about it. or at least until jonah fucked his throat so hard the little bitch couldn’t talk for a week. and he wasn’t sure he’d have the energy for that tonight or tomorrow. so he settled for approaching and giving his face a gentle caress, or trying to. this position was awkward. lips met, eyes closed and. . . okay, jonah had to admit it was different but nice.

     when he finally pulled back christopher sighed. and grinned. “my spidey sense is tingling if you know what i mean.”

     “bye.” jonah said, immediately walking away from his nonsense despite the protest and pleading for help. of course jonah would send another officer to help in a few minutes but for now? let the shithead suffer.

65. “don’t let go” hug

     leon was shaking. the pregnancy-- it. . . it had to be happening. five tests couldn’t be wrong. but it couldn’t be. they had been so careful, they took every precaution, how was this happening? leon was terrified as he pulled them from his bag to show namiko. he didn’t seem angry. he was reacting better than leon thought he would. thank god.

      he wrapped trembling arms around namiko and sobbed, clinging tight to him. what were they going to do? their parents were going to fucking kill them for this. “don’t let go,” leon whimpered. “please don’t let go.”

     “i won’t.” namiko assured.

22. spin the bottle kiss

     was it really any surprise that the dumbass trouble group was playing spin the bottle like mature adults? no. absolutely not. and it really was no surprise that there was a stupid smile on his face when the bottle landed on piers. finn leaned over, hand placed on piers’ cheek before stealing a slow, lingering kiss. gods, he loved this game.

[tragedyplagued]

     “what if the danger turns you on?”

     “. . .” why was he like this?