towardsomething

[towardsomething]

Goals

Identify prominent problems in living

Work on emotional health and emotion management to reduce overwhelm and ineffective ways of reacting to emotions (detachment, impulsivity)

Gradually change negative beliefs (defectiveness, incompetence) by instilling new ones

Find strategies to replace or change ineffective behaviors which contribute to keep problems running (avoidance of difficulty, people pleasing, self-deprecation, emotional inhibition)

[towardsomething]

Detachment

When I feel overwhelmed by emotions, problems and stress in life, I feel a sense of hopelessness. I feel tired, my body feels too geared up, so I detach from emotions by avoiding life and changing focus elsewhere.

Dealing with emotions instead of escaping

Regulate stress and overwhelm with relaxation activities; come back to my body.

Process by feelings by observing them in my body; not blocking sadness, anger, etc.

Developments to avoid emotional overwhelm

Practice being present in the current moment

Work on long term problems gradually

Develop my life to live a fulfilling one

[towardsomething]

Control seeking

When I'm in a control seeking state of mind, I worry about what I'm going to do to solve my problems and what I'm going to do with my life. I just want some clear direction and order; to figure out what I want to do.

It rests on the assumption that if I figure out what to do, I'll do it. If I just analyze and plan and figure it out well enough, I'll do it. But that's not exactly how it works. It ends me up going in circles of ruminating about what my problems are – what needs to be solved so my life can finally be good?

My mind feels overwhelmed and my thoughts are all over the place. I don't know what I want and what I need. It brings me to the brink of frustration where I just want to impulsively act out or be destructive to myself.

Underlying themes and feelings

Stagnation. I feel like I'm doing nothing with my life and I'm stuck with the same old problems, stuck in unhappiness.

Unfulfillment. I feel like something or a lot of things are missing in my life, but I can't point out exactly what those things are. I feel like I'm wasting my time, going nowhere, and I'm unhappy with my life situation.

Directionlessness. I don't know what I want in my life; I feel completely lost.

Hopelessness. I feel like I have a lot of problems and I don't know how to solve them.

[towardsomething]

Thought Challenging #1

I need to figure out what I want in life.

Figuring out what I want in life is a huge task.

I don’t want anything.

I do want things. That much is apparent from my longing, desiring, etc.

[towardsomething]

Emptiness

Emptiness is a state which I often enter after prolonged times of isolation and boredom. These periods usually follow some time of stress or an overwhelming emotional episode.

It feels like I have no motivation to do anything (because what’s the point?). I think of the things I’m lacking in life, like direction, interests, hobbies, passions, goals, a family, stories to tell, etc. etc. Conclusively, it seems like I’m lacking life.

Enter the over controller: I need to analyze, understand, figure out everything in my life before I proceed. I need to figure it all out.

I think at the core of this is a disconnection from my emotions and needs, perhaps due to a feeling of negativity and hopelessness. I’m searching for an answer, but none comes up.

I do believe this state informs me of things that really are missing in my life, things that make me sad and miserable. I do want some kind of passion, motivation or drive. I do want a future. I do want to feel like a person. But figuring out what I want in life is such an overwhelming task.

[towardsomething]

Journeys

Journey of Self Acceptance -

Journey of Authenticity -

Journey of Connection -

[towardsomething]

Index

To grow towards happiness, connection with my self, inner peace, a life that’s worth living.

Direction

Journeys

On purpose

On meaning

[towardsomething]

Emptiness

A sense of emptiness and despairing about life. Something is missing, but I don’t know what. What do I need to feel fulfilled?

It’s like I don’t care about anything.

Solutions

• I’m not in touch with my needs: what is missing on an emotional plane? what do I need out of life?

[towardsomething]

Overview

These are perspectives which will help me to heal and grow so I can really live a fulfilling life.

PROBLEMS

Loneliness

Lack of respect -

Lack of self/identity distortion - feeling like I don't know who I am, what I think, feel or believe; not knowing what I need or want

Emptiness/boredom - a lack of activities, hobbies, goals, desires, wants

BEHAVIORAL STATES OR PARTS OF SELF

Overwhelm - I feel overwhelmed by stresses and problems in life to the point that I can't handle my emotions in a healthy way

Impulsivity - I act impulsively with money, dieting, sexuality; an attempt to soothe emotions?

Detachment - avoiding problems and difficult emotions by focusing attention elsewhere

Control seeking (T) - I try to figure out and fix things by analyzing and ruminating problems, making plans; usually goes nowhere

People pleasing - social adjustment, social chameleoning, doing what I think others want; for fear of conflict, losing control or being disliked, criticized, seen as selfish

Self-deprecation -

Emotional inhibition - suppression of emotions, being cold, pretending like I don't feel

Social avoidance - avoiding people because being around them is difficult

Task avoidance/procrastination - avoiding uncomfortable and difficult tasks; can't be bothered; will do it later, etc.

BELIEFS AND THOUGHT PATTERNS

Defectiveness -

Mistrust -

Pessimism - seeing the negativity and wrong about everything, a lack in everything, a sense of hopelessness; everything is a problem