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touchthebuttnemo · 5 years ago

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We can be friends | song fic - Dan Howell x reader

Warnings: a little depressing tbh

Pairing Dan Howell x Reader

Prompt: None

Tags: angst?, sad, breakup, letter fic

Date: (written) unknown (posted) 01/09/2019

Word Count: 539

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Dear (Y/n),

I often find myself thinking back on the days where I thought that everything was okay, or at least that it would be. I can’t deny that I was naive during our time together, but I blame that on how badly I wanted us to work.

I think that we both know that a relationship between us wouldn’t work. It’s sad but true. We gave it our best shot but things got in the way, our health, our mind-frames. Think about it now I can see just how broken we were. Why couldn’t I have listened to Phil when he tried to make me see sense? I guess that’s just how love works, right?

Our relationship wasn’t all doom and gloom; I haven’t forgotten our dates to the fair or when we would simply lay in bed all day talking about our wildest dreams and past secrets. It was those moments that made it so hard to turn away from you, but it’s the right thing to do.

I tried to help you, I tried so hard to make everything better and okay again but it drained out almost everything that I had. I wasn’t enough to chase the darkness away, to save you.

Every time we see each other, you greet me joyfully with one of your dazzling smiles as if we were still clinging on to our last string of hope. Sometimes it makes me want to do the same, to just go back to how we used to be. But I have to remind myself that we can’t.

Today, today was different. Today you asked me why I’ve changed. But you don’t have to worry, for it’s only this person in front of you who has aged and moved on. The person you seek, the man I used to be, he is still sitting on your bed- though slowly dying. He lives on in pain because you refuse to let him fall from your grasp. It’s a sad reality but it’s his and yours to share, for I want no part of it. I enjoy walking down the streets without fearing for you or myself. I enjoy breathing in clean air instead of the stuffy oxygen you tainted with your words of sickness and hate. Just know though that I don’t blame you for it. It was the creature in your head pulling at your puppet strings. It’s that thing that I have always been resentful towards, never you.

Maybe one day you can let him go, let him die the death he so desperately craves. I’m sure after that, things will get easier for you and I. But that decision resides with you.

As a last note to this letter, even with everything that we went through, we can be friends. We don’t have to ignore the other’s presence nor do we have to hate each other. I hope that you accept my friendship because I honestly don’t want to lose you. You’ve always meant more to me, and sadly now it will just have to be expressed in another way.

I hope that you make the right decision and that we can both continue to grow as individuals.

My love forever,

Dan

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A/n: I know it says that this is a songfic but honestly I wrote it so long ago that I genuinely can’t remember which song I based it on XD. It might be ‘Dark Side of Your Room’ by All Time Low but I really can’t be sure.

ALSO, I know that Dan has come as gay but, like I’ve already mentioned, I wrote this so long ago and it’s been sitting in my drafts collecting dust. I was going to delete it like the rest of my drafts but after reading I kinda like it. I wanted to post it just because I can :’) but I mean this isn’t really gender determining so I guess it can still work :))

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touchthebuttnemo · 5 years ago

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Sweeter Side | Levi Ackerman x Girlfriend!Reader

Warnings: It’s pretty cute and fluffy but others there are none

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Reader (fem)

Prompts: none

Tags: FLUFF, FLUFF, FLUFF, AND FLUFF, Modern AU

Date: (written) 24/02/2019 (posted) 02/09/2019

Word count: 1714

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I switched off the shower and stepped out onto the shower matt before wrapping myself up in my fluffy bumblebee yellow towel that had been warmed up thanks to the heating rails. Ringing my (h/l) (h/c) hair, I pulled it up into a damp messy bun before slipping on my dressing gown and exiting the bathroom. Crossing the hall to the bedroom that I shared with my boyfriend, I easily finished drying myself, changed into my Deadpool pyjama shirt and matching red flannel bottoms, swaddled my feet in a pair of black fluffy socks, and then finally sat down at my corner vanity to blow dry my hair and moisturise my face.

“Hey, (N/n), do you have a jacket I could borrow? Nothing goes with the dress I bought earlier.” twisting around on my spiny chair, I met the curious gaze of Zoe Hanji, my boyfriend’s flatmate and close friend.

During the first year of our relationship, Levi didn’t introduce me to many of his friends as he thought, and I quote, that ‘they’re too weird and would make me feel uncomfortable’. When I finished my university course, he proposed the idea that I move in with him since we had been together for almost two years, as well as the fact that it would save money and be easier for us. I was overjoyed knowing that he wanted us to live together, but when he mentioned his flatmate I began to have doubts. Fearing that I would be intruding on their personal space and life, Levi topped my worries with the idea that the tenant would drive me away with her… buoyant personality. But our worries were soon adjourned when Hanji welcomed me and dragged me away for coffee, leaving the only male to start unpacking my things. Arriving home, he had rushed out to make sure no damage had been caused in the three hours we were absent, only to find us giggling uncontrollably with our arms linked. Turns out we went to the same secondary school- though she left once I had started my second year- and we had bonded over our laughable adventures at the place of hell. Ever since that day Hanji and I had become best friends, much to Levi’s 'disliking’.

“I might do. By the way, you look fantastic.” Climbing to my feet, I raided through the shared wardrobe as well as the chest of draws that contained a few odd items of clothing that didn’t fit in the closet.

“You think so? I was worried that I’d look ridiculous since, as you know, I’m not much of a girly-girl.” She commented, double-checking her appearance in the full body mirror that hung to the right side of the door. The brunette styled a pretty high-low dress in the shade of a lavender purple, the shoulder straps meeting at her collarbones in a wide 'U’ neckline. I nodded before letting out an 'a-ha’ in achievement when I spotted my black pea coat.

“Here, this will work with your shoes.” I was right, the soft material coat suited her 4-inch black heels with three straps pulled together around her ankles. The 27-year-old woman beamed as she slipped on the item, glomping me in excitement as soon as she had examined herself in my mirror.

“Ah, thank you! You’re honestly the best.” My lips turned up from the corners with pride at her words and joyful expression.

“Happy I could help. I’m just glad it fits okay; though I guess it is a touch too big for me.” Satisfied with her, now complete, outfit, I collected my phone before following Hanji out into the open planned dining and living room where she grabbed her bag from the eight-seater table at the back of the room. Upon entering, I instantly spotted Levi who looked away from the T.V to see who had joined him. The man briefly sent me a small smile but was distracted by his friend who was dressed to the nines at almost nine-thirty. I giggled quietly at his face which had contorted into a look of utter confusion and slight worry.

“You’re wearing a dress?” He blurted out, not meaning to sound rude. Fortunately for them both, Hanji had known Levi since he enrolled at her college two years after she had and the fact that they had been living together for 5 years also helped in this situation. Basically, they were used to each other’s shit.

“I’m going on a date, I said that earlier.” She reminded. Levi’s expression didn’t falter but instead grew even more confused.

“Someone asked you on a date?” I covered my mouth to hold in my laughter as I picked out a new reading book for myself, trying to look busy while they talked.

“I know right.” Hanji agreed, just as shocked it seemed, making my laughter come tumbling out with an unattractive snort. “One of my co-workers, well he’s on a different section but still on my team, asked me. His name’s Erwin.” She explained in her every day easily distracted manner. Having found a story I had yet to read, I slipped myself over the back of the sofa and got into a comfortable position beside the raven-haired 25-year-old.

“Wait, isn’t that the dude who drove you home a few times before.” She nodded. “Dude…” I trailed off. I’d seen him when he helped Hanji up to the apartment with her box of case folders, and let me tell you that he was a seriously attractive human being. Maybe not my type, but I know a sexy office man when I see one.

“Well he’ll be outside in a few minutes so I’ll see you both later.” Heels clicking, Zoe passed the couch to leave through the second door which remained closest to the front door.

“We won’t wait up.” I commented with a small smirk. She rolled her eyes and was almost gone when I called her back. “Hanji, don’t forget to use protection!” I yelled over Levi’s head before sitting back on my butt after receiving the middle finger from the woman. The two of us left behind chuckled at her reaction and then fell into a calm silence.

“Oi, I got the new Thor movie if you want to watch it.” His deep voice suddenly perked up, turning to me with a less-emotionless look than he usually wore. I grinned and nodded in a jubilant manner. I was such a nerd when it came to Marvel or Batman movies.

“I’ll go make some popcorn.” Closing my book and rising from the couch in sync with him, I softly held Levi back by his arm, placed a kiss on his cheek as I did multiple times a day, almost routinely, and then directed my steps to the kitchen while he proceeded to the bedroom.

Hunting for the packet, I closed the pantry door and placed the snack in the microwave. As the machine hummed it’s working tune, I poured out two glasses of cherry flavoured coke while listening to the distant sound of Levi setting up the film. It didn’t take long until we were both settled again; this time with our movie rolling whilst curled up together on the couch. Our legs were tangled together while I held onto his arm that had been wrapped around me, the other tucked under my head as a make-shift pillow. As a fighting scene occupied the flatscreen, I let out a series of yawns concurrently as my eyes began to droop.

“You tired?” Levi asked from behind and slightly above me, having rested his head higher up on a cushion so that he could see clearly.

“Mm, sorta. You?” I returned slightly slurred.

“Getting there. Do you want to go to bed?” Shaking my head awkwardly I twisted around so that I was facing him before wrapping one arm under his torso and letting the other lightly rest on the side of his neck.

“No, I want to finish the film first.” His gravelly chuckle rumbled through his body like thunder, but it only helped to relax me more.

“You’re not even facing the right way.” I shrugged, burying myself deeper into his chest after placing yet another habitual kiss on the underside of his jaw.

“It’s okay. I can still see.” I mumbled, happily drifting off to sleep. The man laughed again, completely amused by my sleepy antics, but didn’t question me any further. Instead, he tightened his hold slightly and melted into the sofa alongside me.

3rd person~

The time was reaching midnight when Hanji strolled through the front door with her date in tow after they had enjoyed a lovely dinner before getting a few drinks at a bar close by. Not wanting Erwin to drive home, despite his protests, the woman offered the blonde to stay over for the night, happy to share her bed in a none sexual manner. She had been promising the man that it was truly alright for him to stay in her usual above-indoor voice before falling silent.

Stepping into the living room, Hanji was ready to scold the young couple for watching Thor: Ragnarok without her, only to find the pair asleep on the couch in a fashion that left Hanji no choice but to snap a picture for the scrapbook she was making for them in preparation of their 5th year anniversary that would be arriving in exactly 465 days’ time: Levi had his arms wrapped around (Y.n)’s torso in a gentle squeeze- almost as if he was afraid she would disappear if he let his hold loosen for even a moment- and had buried his face in her neck, (Y.n) then had her arms secured around Levi’s neck, head resting on his chest close to his heart, and her left leg bent up at the knee over his lower body and onto his lower stomach. Hanji’s heart melted to see them so close, but also had the ultimate desire to tease them about it endlessly. Maybe that was why they didn’t always cuddle of show their sweeter side around her…

Placing a spare blanket over the duo, Hanji switched off the T.V before guiding Erwin to her bedroom where they too ended up cuddling for the night.

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A/n: I wasn’t sure on the ending part, it might have been too descriptive? Yanno, with the day count til their 5th anniversary, but oh well. I think when I wrote it I just wanted to finish it. nvm, I might edit it some other time.

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touchthebuttnemo · 5 years ago

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Safest With You | Levi Ackerman x Scared! Reader

Warnings: Astraphobia

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Reader (Fem)

Prompts: None

Tags: Cute fluff, Canon AU

Date: (written) 16/11/2019 (posted) 17/11/2019

Word Count: 761

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It was a peaceful night for most of the soldiers in the scout’s HQ- all of them having passed out after a particularly agonising training regimen that day. So with all of the cadets and higher-ranking officers sleeping soundly, the violent storm outside raged on alone. Its monstrous cries being ignored until one squad leader stirred in her sleep. But suddenly, with one rather loud clap of thunder, Y/N shot up before the blur of lightening had even reached her room.

Drops of sweat cascaded down her face as the tears quickly welled. She had never liked thunderstorms as the loud sounds and angry winds activated her fight or flight reflexes. Every single time.

The girl remained still, hoping that it had already passed over and was on the road to quietude until another clap made the room feel like it was shaking. Much like a frightened cat, she leapt up from her warm place amongst the pillows and blankets and dived underneath the bed itself. Her hands clamped around her ears as she curled into her knees.

What was it mum used to say? She urged herself to remember the numerous amount of nights she spent in her mother’s arms, but the panic and the adrenaline that was coursing through her body made it rather challenging.

Too caught up in her thoughts and anxiety, Y/N was not expecting another applaud from the vicious weather to come just yet. So without meaning to, a sudden scream was ripped from her throat. Her eyes widened before she squeezed them shut against her tears. All she could do was pray for it to end soon.

It wasn’t long though until a pair of feet softly padded into the room. Worried eyes narrowed at the empty messy bed and dark bathroom before soft whimpers resounded from underneath the bed. A deep sigh was released as the man knelt down and lifted the draping sheets. Just then another round of thunder came and spooked the woman even more; another yelp slipping from between her lips.

“Hey, come on.” Levi whispered gently, holding out his hand for Y/N to take. Her widened eyes rapidly fell upon his comforting features. It didn’t take much before she practically threw herself towards him, desperate for the security his arms could give her.

Having quickly pulled her onto his lap, he hoisted them both up so that they sat on the edge of their bed together. Her limbs hooked onto him as he began to rock the shaking girl. This wasn’t the first storm he had held her through, and he silently hoped that it wouldn’t be the last either. He softly cleared his throat and smoothly began to sing the beginning line to the song he knew her mother had sung to her during storms previous; his hand running up and down her back comfortingly. His voice was in no way the best, in fact, he pretty much hated singing, but it always sent Y/N back to sleep when fear kept her awake.

With her legs wrapped around his waist and arms fastened around his upper torso, he marvelled in how rapidly her body relaxed. Her heart rate slowed down drastically and her sobbing ceased to nothing. She was exhausted, he already knew that seeing how early she had retired to bed. Left to finish his reports on the day, his heart had frozen altogether when he heard her cries.

It pained him to see her suffer like she was, but he understood it. Everyone had their own silent nightmares, even he did. As long as he was able to make it better, that’s all that mattered.

“Can you stay with me? Please?” Her voice was so small against his chest, still riddled with anxiety. It made his stomach turn uneasily.

Without a word, he lifted the girl again, but this time moved to lay her down. From there he curled up beside her and pulled the sheets back up. Y/N was quick to move closer, practically laying on top of him, but he didn’t mind. Not at all. It was endearing to know that she felt so safe with him. It made him feel even more loved in a sense. His hand moved to hold her closer, the other hand working through her slightly knotted locks.

“I’m right here. And I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

No, he didn’t like seeing her so weak and fragile. But as long as he was able to fix it and take care of her, he knew that it would be okay.

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