torchfour

[torchfour]

i invented a machine that transcribes the inner thoughts of oysters and it turns out the first oyster i tested it on was thinking like "beautiful human woman riding a bike i am the bike i am the bike"and i tested it on more oysters and it was all "delicious sediment" "my mucous membrane itchy" "i wish to digest particles" so i guess that one guy was just real horny

[torchfour]

Customer: :3 DMV: SILLY Verdict: DENIED

[torchfour]

[torchfour]

*thinks of a joke* haha this will be funny and lighthearted *realizes how abrasive it comes off as soon as it leaves mouth* *walks into traffic gets hit by a car survives gets hit by another car still alive but can perceive new colors never before beheld by the human eye*

[torchfour]

maybe if we torture this kid harder our lives will get even more awesome

[torchfour]

losing it bc Saga went to get us lunch and tried to type “you got sprite, boss” and sent this instead. you got a spore. Bitch

[torchfour]

they're boiling me in oil tomorrow and the day after as well

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[torchfour]

[torchfour]

a treasure found antiquing today

[torchfour]

i always liked dr doom cuz he looked really cool. Like thats a supervillain

[torchfour]

[torchfour]

I just realized your url isnt “hell it’s genetics” lmao

i thought your url was catboykitty.

we're both pissing on the poor it seems

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[torchfour]

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[torchfour]

me: “sorry ): can’t come!! got so much to do at home”

me as soon as im home: