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please how does no one know what im talking about

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passenger princess, but i got put in the trunk for being annoying :(

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you guys ever get a tattoo and just immediately start diddling with your ink sack? just me?

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🪳📢🐩

are you having a stroke?? should we call life alert

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honestly if they opened a real jurassic park i think i’d still go. just for the bit

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i say "godspeed, soldier" way too much for someone who puts their faith in neither god nor the military

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cats would be so fucking upset if they understood they were missing out on the ability to lie verbally

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Being a little too cold: brrrr i’m a little too cold !!!

Being a little too warm: i am going to kill the next person who makes eye contact with me.

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definitely just watched someone order a triple shot espresso and mix it with pre workout. dudes gonna be able to hear colors and see noises

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Im gonna shuffle my giant playlist of every song i like and if the very first one that plays isnt exactly what i want to hear right this second im gna lose it

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saying 'can I be really annoying for a sec' as if I'm not fucking irritating for the other 86399 seconds of the day

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I love it when bread is small and round and has stuff inside it. The perfect food in every regard except for how much effort it is to make.

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alright like this if you want a potential friend in your potential dms potentially

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finally remembered my wifi pw and it feels so good to not have to look at grey lil boxes and wait for messages to load for 10 fucking minutes

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if there’s one thing about me its that ive fucked around enough and haven’t found a single thing out. i think thats pretty sick of me. my names jake but you can call me jt :)

gh -> @somehowhome

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hello sharks i am asking for an uber to run me over and then back me over on this fine wednesday afternoon

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