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“Did you just lick me?!?”

Geralt wishes he could blame this on his potions. Or some strange curse. Or being half awake.

SOMETHING.

Anything other than the truth: Jaskier’s neck was bared in laughter, it looked delicious, and he had acted before his mind caught up to him.

Face still against the bard’s throat, Geralt brought his tongue back into his mouth. “…I didn’t.”

The worst part was that it happened right after Geralt did it again. As if that wasn't bad enough, he opened his mouth without a second thought.

"Geralt, are you *biting* me?" Jaskier asked, feeling the witcher's teeth pressing into their neck.

If Geralt was honest, he wasn't entirely sure why he felt this urge—to mark Jaskier, to show the world that he was his mate.

"No," Geralt mumbled, mouth still against Jaskier's skin.

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Some guy in an avengers Tshirt I just met at a coffee shop: so who's your favorite superhero?

Me too exhausted to explain there's more than one Robin: Batman

Guy: oh! Did you watch the Joker movie? It was surprisingly good for a DC film haha

Me: yeah it was something

Guy: you know they really fucked up on Justice League, but I've got to say Wonder Woman was better than Captain Marvel. Like, we get it, "yay girl power." That's great but it was so over the top. It totally ostracized half of it's audience.

Me: wow really

Guy: yeah. You know, you seem pretty chill. Maybe we could hang out sometime and watch some decent superhero movies? You know, Marvel movies haha

Me: i never asked, who's your favorite hero?

Guy: Iron Man. Like Batman but richer and cooler haha

Me: you know, Batman's rule? No killing?

Guy: yeah?

Me: i have no such rule. Lindsey, I found another one. My usual, please

Lindsey, the barista: *hands me my sword*

Guy: wow that's a poor replica of the God Killer blade, it should have more- *beheaded*

Me: thank god that's over

Lindsey: yeah. Hey want to watch Birds of Prey with me sometime?

Me: oh? You mean like as... a date?

Her: well yeah... is that okay?

Me: of course it's okay! all this time, all these years, i never knew you felt that way

Her: i don't keep a replica of Wonder Woman's sword under the counter for just anyone

Me: i never thought about it that way

Her: *writes her number on the forehead of dead guy* text me ;)

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Why is it always “Dumbledore is my fave” or “Dumbledore is abusive” and never “Dumbledore is so fucking afraid of letting another dark wizard come to power that he channels his own darkness into training a human weapon from childhood to fight the darkness that he knows he can’t while pretending to be the wise wizard mentor that he wishes he actually was wow that is a super fascinating character and we should write all the fanfiction about it?”

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god I would be UNSTOPPABLE if I was capable of consistently initiating tasks. just you wait. you'll be waiting a while but just you wait

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I think some people forget that some literature and some media is meant to be deeply uncomfortable and unsettling. It's meant to make you have a very visceral reaction to it. If you genuinely can't handle these stories then you are under no obligation to consume them but acting as if they have no purpose or as if people don't have a right to tell these stories, stories that often relate to the darkest or most disturbing parts of life, then you should do some introspection.

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Going to need this guy's lawyer

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Beautiful cow who is mooing at you

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I cannot express how much I adore dappled shadows formed by sunlight in paintings and photography and in real life

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petition to bring back saying "huzzah!" when something goes your way and "alas." when it doesn't

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JK Rowling: I hate drarry shippers

JK Rowling: I wanted Harry to end up in a relationship that paralleled jily

JK Rowling: anyway here’s the scene I wrote of lily meeting james for the first time which parallels harry meeting draco for the first time and during which James repeats some of draco's dialogue nearly verbatim in a presumably intentional callback

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romeo and juliet (act one, scene five) but gay and at the skatepark

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When r u adding grandpas to ur game

the answer to this like many other things is: once i've found the funniest way to handle it

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tumblr is basically a gay bar in a mental institute

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one thing about orpheus and eurydice is you guys are all like “i’m different i wouldnt turn to look at her” because you are all familiar with the story of orpheus and eurydice. but orpheus wasnt familiar with the story because he was in it lol.

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Hey if you’re schizophrenic/psychotic I just want you to know that you’re a wonderful person and that you deserve so much better than the demonization, marginalization and stigmatization you face in this society.

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I said something once and it didn’t really go very well