toddtootles

[toddtootles]

Tootles felt terrible, his heart sinking inside his chest. He had no idea that anyone could hear his and Peter���s conversation, or that it happened to be Wendy of all people who listened in until he found her upset like this. Without any context, what he’d said probably came off really bad. While at first Tootles had felt a big weight was lifted from his chest by finally confronting Peter, now guilt was settled in the pit of his stomach. He’d thought Peter had been the bad guy for a while now, but maybe he was wrong — maybe it was himself. 

The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt his sister; he wanted to protect her. She didn’t deserve to be strung along and lied to by Peter — she deserved so much better. But clearly, the brunette couldn’t see it that way.

“No…” Tootles trailed off sadly, meeting her gaze as she glanced in his direction. It was so late now, and they were both obviously tired, but Tootles knew he couldn’t sleep knowing his sister was upset. “It’s not about the kiss, or who he chose…” he continued, looking down at his hands in shame. At least he knew she didn’t hear everything, because they’d be having a very different conversation if she had. He didn’t intend to spill Peter’s biggest secret either; Wendy needed to hear it from him directly, as did Tink. Tootles could only hope that Peter actually listened to him and would eventually do the right thing. “There’s more to it, but … you’d need to talk to him about it. It’s not my place.” He sighed sadly. “I just don’t want you getting hurt. Or Tink. And … I think you both deserve better. I’m really sorry that what I said hurt you… I was only trying to help, not make things worse…”

"Sorry. I didn't realize you could hear me." -Tootles ( @toddtootles )

With hurt apparent on her face, the most Wendy did in response to her brother was slowly nod. She had in fact overheard what he had said. She heard every single word Tootles had spoken to Peter, including the way he had said it. All the disappointment he felt towards the other male, and as well as all the hurt that could be traced within his tone. But none of it was for himself. Not even for Wendy. No— Tootles was hurt for Tink. But that wasn’t why the Darling girl was feeling rather upset herself. The reason why she was upset over what she overheard Tootles saying to Peter was because he apparently didn’t agree with the fact Peter had chosen to kiss Wendy when the New Years had arrived. Not only that, but Tootles deliberately brought up the two of them kissing in front of Tink, and how ignored the other girl had felt by Peter through the night. Like he was scolding him for choosing Wendy instead— that’s what hurt her the most.

“Is it that shameful Peter chose to spend the entire night with me instead of Tink?” The brunette found herself asking as she glanced at Tootles. Don’t get her wrong, Wendy’s could understand why Tootles had said that to Peter. After all, it wasn’t a hidden secret that Tink had feelings for Peter, in fact she’s had them for such a long time now. However, the Darling girl also had feelings for him herself, and though they may not have been there longer than Tink’s has, was she not allowed to explore these feelings herself? Especially when it seemed like Peter was reciprocate them in return. After all, they had shared a kiss merely an hour ago and it was him who initiated it in the first place. Simply recalling the moment caused Wendy to lift a hand and touch her lip, wanting nothing more than to relive the high she felt when her lips connected with Peter’s, only for her expression to once again drop when realizing that one of her own brothers didn’t seem to approve of being with him. “Is it that bad that he chose to kiss me instead of her?” 

[toddtootles]

Both brothers fixed their hair with ease after messing each other's up. Though Tootles had perked up some, he still had a lot on his mind — he had yet to talk to any of his brothers about his confrontation with Peter the night of New Year's. Both he and Peter had been distant since then, Tootles having always been quiet and on the sidelines but Peter being uncharacteristically so. While everyone was hanging out tonight as a final goodbye to Cubby and Slightly before moving out, Tootles had been off on his own again until Nibs found him there. 

The last thing he wanted to do was bring down the energy of the night by venting about what happened, especially since this night was supposed to be about Cubby and Slightly. However, it was obvious that Nibs wanted to check that he was okay. His brother knew him all too well. “I know,” Tootles answered honestly, treading lightly even if he didn’t really need to. “Just a lot of change happening lately, you know?” But part of him felt at fault for that after the way he confronted Peter. “… You think everything will be okay still?”

Nibs smiled as Tootles fixed his tousled hair, making a matching motion to fix his own, though it mostly fell right back into place after being ruffled. It seemed like Tootles was in a bit of a better mood with the moral support he’d offered, but something still felt off. Nibs couldn’t put his finger on it; he just had a sense for how his brothers were feeling after spending their lives looking out for each other, and it seemed like Tootles had more on his mind than he was actually saying. But Nibs still didn’t know what that something was, so he couldn’t ease his brother’s mind from it—and he didn’t want to pry if it wasn’t something Tootles wanted to talk about.

“Nah, I don’t do much,” he answered, because he really doubted that the ship was staying afloat due to any of his efforts. He was just the happy guy, there making sure everybody was having fun and not being left out or overlooked. When it came to actually taking care of things in the household, well, Tootles was the one who actually kept things running. “You can talk to me anytime, though,” he said meaningfully. “I’m always here for you.” Like right now.

[toddtootles]

Even if Tootles tried to play it off and reassure Slightly it wasn’t what he thought, it was obvious he wasn’t fooling his younger brother. He’d probably already said too much, but it was too late to take it back now. If he did, it would likely only make Slightly suspicious and begin to keep an extra eye on him moving forward, even if he was planning on moving out with Cubby soon. The reality was that they weren’t going very far — they would still be around.

Tootles nodded as Slightly began to piece things together. He was almost positive that he wasn’t the only one that night who noticed how upset Tink was that Peter took Wendy for the first ride with the new helmet, so it wasn’t that hard to figure out. He also knew deep down that most of the boys, if not all of them, had already caught onto Tootles’ feelings for Tink since they all moved in together. Even if Tootles liked Tink and had feelings for her, they all knew that she had feelings for Peter — Tootles didn’t like that Peter could so easily upset her the way he did without even batting an eye. It was painful to watch from the sidelines. That on top of Peter’s constant irresponsibility was becoming more and more unbearable. It really was the tip of the iceberg — an iceberg big enough to destroy the Titanic, even. It ran deeper and deeper the more he thought about it, but some pieces weren’t his place to discuss, like Peter lying about his immortality. Tootles shrugged his shoulders as he trailed off, “It is…” He could’ve said so much more, but it would open up an entire can of worms he wasn’t ready to unpack. Instead, he added simply, “I just don’t like that he’s been stringing both of them along...”

Tootles said it wasn’t like that, but Slightly wasn’t sure what else it could be like. He said it had been on his mind more recently; despite trying to emphasize the word recently in that sentence, Slightly caught the implication that it was something that had been nesting in Tootles’ head for longer, even if relatively dormant. He wasn’t the kind of guy who talked about his feelings a lot—anyone close to him knew that—but if this had been bothering him a while, it was about time he finally said something about it. Screw the strong and silent reputation. Well, they were talking about it now, and hopefully Tootles wouldn’t clam up after feeling like he’d said too much or been too honest.

“Since he got the bike?” Slightly repeated, thinking back to then and trying to figure out what it had to do with Tink and Wendy…He knew Wendy had been the first one Peter took out for a ride. He knew that was the kind of thing that would probably piss Tink off. It wasn’t a stretch to guess that something had happened surrounding that, but he hadn’t heard about the two women fighting or anything, just their resident fairy being moody when he’d left to go to his gig that day. “Because he didn’t ask Tink if she wanted to ride with him first?” Slightly hadn’t really thought about it, but he supposed it was pretty inconsiderate of Peter to insist on giving Wendy the first ride when she wasn’t even interested in motorcycles, as opposed to Tink. That was just one little thing, though. Slightly didn’t want to say he wasn’t understanding the full scope of the issue, so instead he intimated, “That seems like a…tip of the iceberg kinda situation,” in hopes that Tootles would elaborate and lay it all out for him.

[toddtootles]

Fawn seemed dead set on her words despite Tootles’ disbelief. He could’ve blamed it on the special treat Cubby had him consume earlier, but the truth was he probably wouldn’t have believed her while sober either. Why would Tink talk about Tootles of all people when she obviously had her eyes set on Peter for so long? Still, Tootles tried his best to believe her. Who better to get advice from than one of Tink’s best friends? “I’m holding you to that,” he agreed with a knowing look, a smile still present. So he was really going to try and make a move on Tink tonight, huh? The evening was sure to take an unexpected turn now. It wasn’t something he’d planned in the first place, but what better night to take a chance than New Year’s Eve? “Sometimes?” He repeated with raised eyebrows. “So more than once?”

Fawn scoffed at his attempts of disbelief, as if her telling him any of this wasn’t her way of trying to encourage Tootles into finally making a move on Tink. “Yes way— you gotta believe me.” She claimed, shaking her head at him. She could see that he did wanted to believe her, but there was still some resistance in his eyes, and at that she wanted to roll her eyes. Don’t get her wrong, she can understand why Tootles didn’t want to fully believe her when everyone knew how in love with Peter Tink has been for so many years. But when there are facts proving that Peter only sees Tink as a close friend, and that things seemed to be stagnant with no plans of them moving forward, Tootles might as well swoop in and sweep her best friend off her feet so Tink can finally be with a guy who does want to be with her. And so, Fawn shot in an unimpressed look, only to grin when he rolled his eyes and finally gave in. “Fine by me because it won’t backfire on you! I can guarantee you that Tink will agree to kiss you by the ending of the night!” The brunette reassured, even if said promise wasn’t a hefty one considering how Peter was spending most of his night with Wendy already. “Oh— so now you’re curious, huh? But yeah, we do sometimes.” 

[toddtootles]

New Year, New Decisions — a self para

featuring @panforever & @toddtootles

Though Tootles hadn’t been surprised that Peter and Wendy kissed at midnight, Peter had certainly been surprised by the sight of Tink kissing Tootles. He wouldn’t say he was jealous, because he easily could have kissed Tink instead had he not been focused on Wendy the whole night.. besides, he and Tink had kissed in the past for New Years. It was no big deal. He was unbothered, at least he had convinced himself of that.

Still, that didn’t stop him from stepping away from Wendy for a moment after midnight as he saw Tootles going to the outside patio alone for some fresh air. Some people were already leaving or heading off to bed now that the high of the night had passed, while others were still chatting and having a good time. Peter floated past the others still around as he followed to where Tootles was, keeping the glass door open but closing the screen door. Peter didn’t think twice about whether anyone passing by would be able to hear their conversation outside, not thinking it would turn into a confrontation in just a few moments. 

“Happy New Year, Tootles,” Peter greeted his friend as he floated over beside him, sitting on the patio railing and facing him. Tootles' arms rested on the railing, taking in the view from where he stood as the moon and stars lit up the evening.

“Happy New Year,” Tootles answered simply with a nod, turning his gaze to his friend. He was still feeling the buzz from the brownie and the champagne, and especially the buzz from the kiss he’d had with Tink. Truthfully, he was surprised Peter came out here to see him; it was easy for someone as quiet as Tootles to sneak off on his own and get some alone time with his thoughts, easily slipping through the group of others who would be preoccupied with the party. He’d figured that Peter would still be giving all his attention to Wendy instead of focusing on his friends. 

“You finally got out of work to celebrate with us, huh?” Peter laughed, always poking fun at how Tootles was the responsible one. He remembered how before the Darlings adopted the boys how different it was, how Tootles wasn’t as responsible or serious, and how he had once been the smallest of the bunch. Oh, how so much had changed. Speaking of change… before Tootles could even respond, Peter continued, “I’m guessing that kissing Tink tonight was just an added bonus to getting the holiday off?”

Tootles' expression immediately shifted, surprised that Peter would be so blunt with all things considered. He didn’t think that was the reason Peter had come out here with him, but now it kinda made sense; he didn’t want to actually spend time with Tootles... he wanted to confront him. Tootles wasn’t going to play into his games though, having already been fed up for a while now. Tonight was the final straw. 

“I’m surprised you even noticed Tink at all tonight,” he responded instead of answering Peter’s questions. 

“Of course I did,” Peter answered as if it were obvious, crossing his arms over his chest like a child. “She’s my best friend.”

Unaware that Wendy had been looking for Peter and could hear them from inside, Tootles addressed the elephant in the room. “If that were true, you would have noticed how upset she was when you were giving all your attention to Wendy and kissing her.”

A moment of silence lingered, the distant sound of chatter from the rest of the party inside filling the void. Tootles could feel himself growing more heated, unable to believe that Peter had the audacity to confront him like this, as if he were the problem. What, was he jealous now that he’d seen Tootles and Tink kiss, despite that Peter had kissed Wendy? Did he really think he could have both of them and get away with it somehow? 

Peter kissing Wendy in front of Tink was only the tip of the iceberg though; the leader of the lost boys was messing with both the girls’ feelings while also leaving out the most important detail about himself to them, which only Tootles seemed to remember since Peter brought it up to the boys when they were younger — his immortality. Tootles could remember vividly when Peter revealed this to them, aware that now that he’d turned 25 in August he’d no longer age like the rest of them. How could he lead on two people they all cared about when he couldn’t even be honest? Did Peter ever plan on bringing it up again now that his birthday had passed months ago?

“You’ve really got some nerve, you know,” Tootles finally broke the silence again, shaking his head. “Kissing Wendy in front of Tink after making her think she had a chance.. for making them think that either of them have a chance with you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Peter answered stupidly, seemingly playing innocent, but the reality was that he really was clueless. He had no idea where Tootles was going with this.

“I remember…" Tootles continued, "What you told us when we were kids… I don’t think anyone else does, but I do. You’re immortal.”

Peter felt his entire world shift. He’d been avoiding his immortality this entire time, playing dumb and ignoring the reality that came with turning 25, but Tootles had been holding that truth close to his chest like a weapon of defense. How long had he been waiting to throw that out there? How long had he been burdened by Peter’s worst secret? 

Tootles took Peter’s silence as a sign to keep going — it didn’t surprise him that he had nothing to say to defend himself. He wasn’t trying to attack Peter or make him feel shitty though; he wanted him to stop playing with the emotions of those he loved, who they all loved. He wanted Peter to finally grow up.

“I can’t begin to understand how it feels,” he began empathetically, because truthfully turning 25 was probably a reality check for Peter. It explained his change in behavior since his birthday, his increased recklessness and his lack of caring for others around him, to some extent. But Tootles didn’t believe that gave him the right to treat them poorly, especially the girls. “… but we’ve all looked up to you for years. You’re supposed to be the leader. Keeping the truth to yourself and spiraling out of control isn’t right to any of us.”

Peter felt awful. Tootles may as well have punched him in the gut instead of confronting him like this. But Tootles wasn’t that kind of guy. He was trustworthy but also soft, caring. Truthfully, he made a better leader than Peter ever could, but Peter was the more extroverted and fun one, so he got away with taking on that role. At the end of the day, Tootles was a threat to Peter as a leader, even if he was the quiet one of the bunch. Sometimes, the quiet ones were the ones you had to watch out for the most. Suddenly though, it was Peter who was quiet. 

“If you want to be with Wendy, that’s fine,” Tootles finally continued after some deep thought. “If you decide you want to be with Tink instead… that’s fine too.” Even if that would break Tootles' heart in the process, he knew deep down that’s really what Tink wanted. He just had to ensure that whoever Peter chose, he did it right first. “But you can’t have both, and you can’t keep lying to them either… you need to choose, and you need to be honest.” Peter’s continued silence was almost infuriating, but the reality was that Peter was just digesting all of this carefully. 

Tootles sighed, finally standing up straight and pushing himself away from the railing to go back inside. “It’s time to grow up, Peter.”

Tootles went inside the warm apartment and shut the patio door behind him. Instead of following him inside or staying on the patio, Peter flew off into the night. He had a lot of thinking to do — a lot of growing up to do.

[toddtootles]

Even just the linking of their pinky fingers had Tootles eager for more, excited for the future and especially to kiss her in just a few moments. As if their friends knew how ready he was for midnight to come, they all began to chant the countdown to midnight to indicate it was quickly approaching. They’d been so caught up in chatting that he didn’t realize how close it truly was. Their pinkies disconnected and he watched as Tink finished the rest of her champagne, finishing his own to set the glass down despite already feeling a buzz from the brownies.

Facing each other, they followed along with everyone’s chant toward the end of the countdown. From the corner of his eye, he could see Wendy and Peter facing each other too, and Tootles hoped that Tink was focused on him enough to not even realize. “HAPPY NEW YEAR!” They all called out in unison, Tootles smiling from ear to ear as Tink floated up and placed her hands on his shoulders. It was finally the moment he’d been waiting for, Tink closing the space between them and pressing her lips against his. 

He didn’t pull away right away and neither did she. He didn’t want to. Her lips were so soft, and it was a better feeling than he ever could have imagined. It was once he heard more chatter surrounding them from the others that he finally pulled away, cheeks a little flushed as he smiled again. He hoped that it was enough to lift her spirits after being upset over Peter and Wendy. “Happy New Year, Tink.”

“Good.” Tink shook their hands—linked by their smallest fingers—to seal the deal, her smile returning after she managed to wring a promise out of Tootles that he’d be around for more New Years to come. He wouldn’t dare break a vow as sacred as the pinky promise, now would he? His work was important, probably more-so than any of the rest of them, considering he literally saved lives as a firefighter, but well…spending time with your friends was also important. Tink thought. There were others at the firehouse who could take over and work some of the holidays, anyway.

Before they could spend much more time chatting, “AAAAND TEN, NINE, EIGHT—” rang through the room, the rest of the partygoers’ voices chiming in to form a chorus as they counted down toward 2024. “SEVEN, SIX, FIVE, FOUR—” Tink finished off her champagne and set the glass aside before facing Tootles again and finishing the chant along with everyone, “THREE, TWO, ONE, HAPPY NEW YEAR!” A cacophony of party poppers, cheers and applause took over the room, and she floated up to give Tootles a kiss, placing her hands on his shoulders to steady herself as she pressed her lips against his.

Having assumed he would pull away after a brief peck, Tink found herself lingering for a longer kiss when Tootles wasn’t the first to break it. Still relatively chaste (in that they certainly weren’t making out) but surprising nonetheless. When the kiss ended, she gave him a smile and a softer-spoken, “Happy new year.”

[toddtootles]

[toddtootles]

Instead of answering his statement, Tootles responded with a silent, goofy smile. No more needed to be said to explain his out-of-character silly behavior. At least he was having fun and letting loose tonight for once. Though Duke seemed unimpressed, that didn’t deter the other lost boy’s behavior; the brownie overpowered any embarrassment he may have felt otherwise. “Mhm, and we can thank Peter for that,” he answered with a single nod. Sure, he typically had his complaints about Peter, but he didn’t actually care that it was he who had the idea for the laced brownies. It seemed to become a staple for the lost boys' parties, a household tradition. “You’d think they’d taste different, right? But it tasted just like a normal brownie,” he explained with a small shrug. It was a good thing that Cubby actually labeled them this time. “But don’t worry, I’m good. You wanna sit?”

“Oh you are totally baked, aren’t you.” Duke responded, making it more as a statement rather than a question. It was the twin joke that sealed the deal for him, Tootles being one of the only ones among them who rarely makes twin jokes when it came to Duke and his twin brother, Benji. In fact, nowadays, most of the Lost Boys rarely made twin jokes when it came to the two of them, the once inseparable pair who couldn’t be distinguished from the other because all they knew was that they had the same face and the same voice, so it made sense if they acted the same too, they were now a pair of two boys trying to be their individual selves. At least, that’s what Benji had been trying to do. Duke on the other hand? That hasn’t been the easiest feat for him to accomplish, but he was trying. Anyways, how is Tootles making a twin joke be the concluding factor for the younger in realizing that his brother was baked? Easy, even back when the twins acted as one, Tootles still was the least among the lost boys to make that kind of joke, meaning he had to be baked for the older to have done so. Narrowing his eyes, Duke looked at his brother, unimpressed. “….Cubby laced the brownies again, didn’t he?” 

[toddtootles]

Although Tootles struggled to be in the moment a lot of the time, especially when it came to the fun stuff, tonight he really was taking a different approach. Between the brownie and his bold question to Tink, he was attempting to live a little rather than stay so serious and responsible. At the end of the day, he’d always have that responsible part of him lingering, even under the influence, but there was still a bit of spontaneity within him too.

He noticed the slightest falter in Tink’s smile, the worry creases along her brows evident as Tootles attempted to smile and ease her concern. While the truth was he usually volunteered to work the holiday, he decided not to share that aloud. Instead, he just nodded his head. “Yeah, for the most part,” he answered, knowing there would still be some holidays he may get stuck working, but it was much easier to get them off after volunteering so many of those days since he’d started.

The sparkle in her eyes as Tink lifted up her pinky to make a promise with him made Tootles’ smile grow. He’d never realized that she noticed or cared whether or not he was present for things such as holiday celebrations; it was heartwarming to hear that she was happy he was there, even planning on spending time together again the next New Years. Thinking about future chances to kiss her, even before he’d done so tonight, made his heart flutter in excitement. He nodded again, bringing his hand up to wrap his pinkie around hers. “Deal.”

Tink nodded as Tootles confirmed that he had been too busy working the last several New Years for them to have shared a midnight kiss—let alone celebrate together at all. It seemed like he never stopped working, which she could relate to as a routine workaholic herself. Sometimes she could get lost in a project and not move from her workshop to eat or sleep until it was complete. But on the other hand, when it came time to play, she was always ready to party. It was why she loved spending time with Peter and the rest of the boys, why she had accepted the offer to live here with them; they reminded her to let her hair down and live a little every day.

Tootles, though…He was often less present during the group’s crazy adventures and romps, but always there when it was serious, when anything needed taken care of. Did anyone ever remind him to take it easy once in a while? Tink’s smile slipped somewhat, a small crease furrowing her brows as she thought about it. He shouldn’t have missed so many New Years in a row. Most likely it was out of his control, considering his job, but at least he was here tonight.

“Do you have enough seniority now to get holidays off?” she assumed, not imagining that he’d chosen to work for the prior years. “It’ll be nice that you can join us for New Year’s from now on.” Her eyes sparkled as she offered a pinky promise. “We can make a pact so neither of us are alone five minutes before midnight next time.”

[toddtootles]

Tootles smiled as Tink took his hand, her touch gentle as he helped her up from the couch. He knew she didn't need help getting up, but he still liked to offer it. Now that they had a plan set and food was included, Tootles noticed that her mood had already improved; he was always happy to ensure she was happy too. There was no way Tootles would have been able to sleep soundly knowing Tink was bothered about something anyway ( or someone ). Before he could argue against it, Tink was already flying off to get her purse. He shook his head in amusement, kneeling down by the door to put his shoes on while she was gone.

Tootles glanced up as she returned, finishing with his shoelaces as she asked about work. He shrugged. "Pretty quiet. Mostly focused on training and cleaning." When a typical shift was 24-48 hours, the firehouse was practically a second home; it wasn't just at the apartment where Tootles was recognized as responsible. Despite the quiet shift, the training and cleaning did leave him drained, but he had a few days off after tonight to catch up on sleep. At least now that he was off the couch, he wasn't feeling as sleepy, but it could have been the promise of food ( and alone time with Tink, of course ) that gave him the extra energy boost to be able to drive. Standing back up, he ensured his keys and wallet were still in the pockets of his sweats before opening the front door for her. "Ready?"

Tootles was definitely exhausted, and Tink was pretty sure she’d heard somewhere that driving drowsy was just as bad as driving drunk, but who was she to question a first responder’s judgment when it came to safety matters? He volunteered, after all, and he could assess his own capability to operate heavy machinery better than she could. Also, she was really hungry and willing to make excuses in the name of getting food. She took Tootles’ hand as he offered it, though she really didn’t need help off the couch—he had a gentlemanly way about him like only a few of the other lost boys did, and it was something she liked to encourage rather than rebuff.

“Sounds good,” she confirmed his suggested food option easily; she wasn’t particularly picky as long as there were vegetarian options, and as Tootles was already going out of his way to take her out to eat, she was content to accept his first suggestion. “Let me just get my purse.” She flew off to her room before he could argue about paying for their meal and came back tying her trusty belt bag around her hips. In the end, she’d let him treat her to dinner without a fuss, but she needed her wallet and the stash of secret tools she kept in her bag to leave the house comfortably. Just in case. As they put their shoes on at the front door, it finally occurred to her to ask, “How was work?” She’d been too stuck in her own sour mood when Tootles first got home to consider asking about his day, but she was already feeling better with just the promise of food on the horizon. That made it easier to think about other people for a moment.

[toddtootles]

He only had a moment to think about the potential consequences of being so forward — real smooth, Tootles — but maybe he wouldn't have to go back to Fawn to say her suggestion backfired. Tink only hesitated briefly before she agreed, and Tootles even noticed her smile grow into a genuine one. His smile grew, too, as his heart raced nervously.

Tootles was certain they hadn't had a kiss before for New Year's, or ever at all, shaking his head quietly as she asked. In fact, he had spent a lot of the holidays over the years working since becoming a firefighter. It wasn't that they always forced him to do so, but he had a hard time saying no ( just like with Cubby's brownies ), switching shifts with others who had families because he didn't mind the sacrifice. Was that why he was always the one to be left out, though? Did he do it to himself? Maybe that was partly why he was just going for it tonight, taking the opportunity with Tink while he had it. Hell, he was already letting loose more than usual with the fuzzy high he was feeling, he just hoped it didn't backfire.

"I was working the past few New Year's," he answered after a moment's pause. Whether or not she even remembered that, it wouldn't bother him either way; he was used to blending into the background as it was, so when the others didn't notice his absence, it didn't come as a surprise. "I guess if I hadn't been working, maybe I would've asked you sooner."

Tink experienced a range of emotions in quick succession while processing Tootles’ words, beginning with surprise chased by confusion, followed in turn by understanding, then consideration and finally landing on acceptance. The pause before tacking on “at midnight” had made it seem like he had meant it generally, like he just wanted to kiss her for the sake of it, which would definitely be some new information to digest. She didn’t have to sit with that for too long, however, as she immediately remembered that he was high from Cubby’s brownies, which accounted for any weird phrasing and...pausing in the middle of sentences as he tried to make his brain function through the haze.

It didn’t take long for Tink to decide that she was down to make him her midnight kiss, only a fleeting thought of Peter crossing her mind. She had already just about written him off for this new year—Tootles was just making it easier on her. Always so observant and thoughtful, he must have noticed she was standing alone this close to midnight and didn’t want her to feel excluded from the festivities. Or maybe he didn’t want to be excluded for once, which was fair enough. Either way, they were both on the outskirts together now, so there was no reason not to band together in solidarity.

“Let’s,” she answered, her smile pushing further into her cheeks and revealing her dimples. Four minutes to midnight and she didn’t have to worry who she would be ringing the new year in with. “We’ve never shared a New Year’s kiss, have we?” she asked, racking her memory for any former instance when she and Tootles had been paired up during the holiday. She had shared kisses with plenty of the rest of their friends throughout the years—it was always a musical chairs game of sorts with New Years partners—but she couldn’t remember any particular time with Tootles, so if it did happen, it must have been years ago.

[toddtootles]

He stayed silent as Fawn continued, attempting to keep his expression serious despite wanting to giggle. Tootles shook his head — no, he didn’t need her to spell it out. He was somewhat smart enough to figure it out, and hot according to Fawn … And Tink? He wasn’t sure he believed that. “No way..” He attempted to brush her off in disbelief, though the look he gave her suggested that he wanted to believe it. Could it really be true? Even still, there was obviously someone else who had Tink's mind preoccupied... Regardless, he couldn’t help but trust Fawn’s words, considering she was one of Tink’s close friends. He rolled his eyes with a smile. “Alright, if this backfires on me later, you're to blame," Tootles teased. He couldn't help but be curious too, his smile turning to a sort-of smug one as he continued, "So .. when were you two talking about me?"

When she realized he didn’t get what she had meant, the brunette rolled her eyes at him and shook her head. “Come on, do you really need me to spell it out to you?” she began, now staring at him with a look of disbelief as there was no way Tootles didn’t get what she meant by telling him to ‘just be hot.’ Obviously, Fawn wasn’t saying that because she thinks her best friend was shallow. Tink was a lot of things, but caring about someone’s look wasn’t one of them, not when it came to her being interested in them. Otherwise, her friend would have moved on from Peter a long time ago when there were way more hotter people out there for her to be into. One of them, for example, was the guy she was currently standing in front of. “What? You don’t like me telling you to be hot? You are. So, I don’t see why that’s such a big deal, and it’s not like I haven’t heard Tink comment on your attractive looks before!”

[toddtootles]

Out of anyone, it was almost always Nibs who noticed Tootles first. Though he appreciated his efforts, making sure he felt included when he fell into the background of things, Tootles couldn't help but feel guilt, too. He was the one who missed out on things the most, therefore when Nibs hung back with him just to make sure he was good, he was missing out too. That was never the eldest lost boys intention. Still, he couldn't help the smile that formed as his (unspoken favorite) brother rubbed the top of his head affectionately. He got Nibs in return, rubbing the top of his head before he reached his arm up to fix the disheveled mess that his own curls surely looked now.

Hearing that he was the glue that held them together didn't exactly put him at ease like Nibs had likely hoped it would. It seemed that keeping everyone together was becoming more and more difficult; between Slightly and Cubby moving out and Peter's continious strain on the peace around here, it felt like all of Tootles' efforts were failing. "Thanks man," he answered, keeping his doubts to himself like he usually did. "I couldn't do it without you, you know?"

@toddtootles said “I didn’t think anyone noticed me.”

That was honestly heartbreaking, albeit expected. The same way Nibs was perhaps the only one in the group who tended to sense that Tootles actually needed attention beyond the support he was expected to provide everyone else as the eldest brother—Nibs also realized he was the only one who saw this. He generally tried his best to accommodate for that, including Tootles as much as possible when he was in danger of being left out, but he knew there were times he could do better about it. For instance, Tootles still ended up the designated driver nine times out of ten because Nibs couldn’t resist joining the festivities and Tootles was so good at self-effacing that it was easy to convince oneself, when you were really in a mind to enjoy yourself, that he was truly just as content to play Dad. Was it worse that the others didn’t notice at all, or that Nibs did notice and still didn’t do enough to make up for it? “Of course, man,” he said, rubbing Tootles’ head with affection and unspoken apology. “You do so much for all of us…You’re the glue that holds us together." It was an unhelpful and ironic truth about being the underappreciated caretaker of a family, but Nibs said it out anyway, "Even if people don’t actively notice, they’d notice if you stopped.”

[toddtootles]

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[toddtootles]

It wasn't common for Tootles to be so upfront, but he had some help with his confidence this evening.. Well, sorta. He couldn't decide if being under the influence made it easier or harder for him, and Fawn's advice to just be hot still didn't quite make sense to him. If he were already hot, wouldn't she have noticed by now? Was the truth that he wasn't hot? .. Then why would Fawn say that? He was overthinking again, but that was typical when he was around Tink.

While slumped into the couch, the eldest lost boy had been the first to notice that Tink was bothered — she kept looking in the direction of Peter and Wendy, her expression obvious as to how she was feeling. No matter how hard she tried to hide it, Tootles knew. In fact, it was the one thing that had successfully pulled him out of his comfy spot in the couch, now standing beside the smaller girl as midnight was inching closer and closer. He still felt warm as he stood by her, his cheeks flushed a light pink, and he flashed her a genuine smile even if hers didn't quite reach. He was glad she didn't question what he meant — what would he even say if she asked? suddenly it felt like there was a frog in his throat— but he could still tell that she wasn't completely satisfied. It wasn't just the company she needed — it was more than that. His smile fell just a little bit, but he lifted his glass with hers. "Me too," he agreed, his own eyes glancing toward Peter and Wendy as his glass clinked against hers quietly. But he didn't drink any, suddenly realizing what Fawn meant.

It wasn't about actually being hot. It was the confidence. Even if Tootles didn't feel fully confident or hot, he could try. Peter was confident in everything he did, and it was part of what drew everyone to him. Maybe it really was that simple. Besides, it was obvious that Tink wasn't feeling very confident herself tonight.. maybe he could help. Before he could even filter out his own thoughts and actions, he was blurting it out as the seconds ticked closer and closer to the new year. "I really wanna kiss you," he confessed, adding after a moment, "— at midnight.." Well really, anytime anywhere, but he was a gentleman first and foremost. "Can I?"

@toddtootles said: “I know I'm not the person you want, but I'm here.”

It was five minutes to midnight and Peter was still standing with Wendy like he had been most of the night, the focus of his attention making it clear who he intended to kiss when the clock struck twelve. Tink was doing a very poor job at trying to look unbothered by this. And Tootles was, if not the first to notice, the first and only to actually do anything about it, coming to Tink’s side as he usually did when she was in a mood and needed cheering up. She smiled up at him, not a full bright smile, but not a forced one either.

“I’m glad you’re here.” There was no need to dissect what he’d said about not being the person she wanted; she wouldn’t be surprised if Peter was the only one who couldn’t tell, so she wasn’t going to ask Am I that obvious? She would just be happy that she wasn’t left alone in a corner at midnight, thanks to Tootles. She raised her champagne glass in a silent toast. They'd all been toasting all night, sharing their best stories of 2023, their hopes and resolutions for 2024, and Tink was honestly all toasted out. Pretty much everything had already been said. "Ready for the new year," she said simply.

[toddtootles]

"I don't know. Just be hot." -@ffcwn

Tootles looked at Tink's friend with a confused smile, as if trying to decipher what the hell Fawn meant from that. Tink wasn't shallow like that, right? It couldn't be that easy. "I don't think it really works like that," he answered with a chuckle, though he was still looking at her with narrowed eyebrows, as if wondering if it really were that simple. Maybe the brownie just had him overthinking. He thought it would help shut his mind up, but instead it only made his thoughts louder. He chuckled again, his smile growing. "Seriously, that's the best advice you got?"

[toddtootles]

It wasn't that Tootles wanted to be quiet about everything all the time — he wasn't good with words. He wasn't a musician like Slightly, or a poet like Cubby, or charming like Nibs. He didn't naturally draw everyone's attention like Peter did either, making it so easy for him to stay quiet on the sidelines and keep peace. Most of the time he was too busy anyway; if he wasn't working, he was taking care of everyone. Starting a ripple in the family by being honest about his feelings would only result in more for Tootles to feel responsible about, more mess to clean up. At least, that's what he's kept telling himself.

Tootles shook his head silently instead of answering Slightly's question. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything — the last thing he wanted to do was burden his problems onto someone else, especially any of his siblings. Also, truthfully, he wasn't even sure how long. Regardless, the answer wouldn't make either of them feel better about it. "It's not like that." No, it really was though. "It's just been on my mind more recently," he attempted to emphasize, "because of Tink and Wendy. Especially since Peter got the bike."

@toddtootles said: “I got my rep as the strong, silent type to think about”

“Sure, but…It’s still okay to talk about your feelings sometimes, y’know.” Big words from someone who only genuinely expressed his own true thoughts and feelings through music—in day-to-day conversations Slightly always felt like he was performing a character of someone who had it all more together than he did. Someone cleverer and more sure of himself. He supposed it only made sense that everyone else was pretending too; they were all just imposters, playing the roles that they had either been assigned or carved out for themselves over time. Tootles was the “strong, silent type,” so he had to deal with everyone else’s problems, but didn’t get to complain about anything or express his own feelings? That was totally unfair. Life’s not fair, yada yada, but even knowing that, Slightly could wish for better for his loved ones.

"How long have you been holding onto this?" he asked. Tootles was always so selfless, it had been hard to realize he also struggled sometimes. Now that he knew, Sly wondered how much else he missed. He probably knew Cubby’s soul the best of all his brothers, from the art they’d created together, followed by Michael and the twins. Tootles, Wendy, John and Nibs were almost another category entirely, as the older siblings who he wasn’t supposed to have to worry about or be protective over. Maybe he should check in with them all more often.