toasterfae - Tumblr blog

[toasterfae]

ancient japanese artists really lucked out with mt fuji, man. it's like an accidental centuries old geological branding campaign, the most svelte and serene looking mountain on earth, A+ character design

[toasterfae]

The true funniest thing about Breaking Bad is that Walter White is only the main character because he has main character syndrome, fundamentally believes that it straight-up doesn't make sense for something to happen if it's Not About Him, and when something is happening that's about someone else, he inserts himself into the situation until it ends up about him

[toasterfae]

icon of the Cambrian period

[toasterfae]

stop treating killing dragons as this act of bravery and valor. maybe ou should be kissieng and loving the dragons instead. and be more niceys

[toasterfae]

stop treating killing dragons as this act of bravery and valor. maybe ou should be kissieng and loving the dragons instead. and be more niceys

[toasterfae]

>Be John Ronald Reuel Tolkien

>Sign up to fight in WWI and come back as a man changed and haunted by war

>Write a Fantasy series based loosely on your Christian Beliefs, Your Experiences in the War, and your raging boner for language that’s so fucking good and in-depth that it codified the Fantasy Genre TO THIS DAY

>Write a scathing letter to the Nazis that you WISH that you were Jewish and that their ideology of Racial Superiority is Morally repugnant when they contact you to proclaim you an “Honorary Aryan”

>Borrow from various myths and legends all around the world, and create Orcs based on a quirk of language that goes all the way back to fucking BEOWULF.

>Characterize them all as evil servants of a Dark Sorcerer based on your experiences fighting German Infantry, who were very much NOT Black people

>Decades after your death, Mediocre Fake Nerd White Men who want to play White Savior declare you a racist for this, and use the characterization of Orcs as Primitive, Savage, Crude and Murderous as a sign that what you secretly intended them to be a metaphor for Black people.

>This despite the aforementioned hatred of racism being common knowledge

>This despite many, MANY people pointing out how drawing such a conclusion on a completely fictional race of typically tusked, green-skinned, pig-nosed monsters is actually pretty fucking racist because you’re saying that Black people are all Violent Savages 

>Woke Mediocre Fake Nerd White Men ignore this and keep trying to rewrite history in an even more egregious version than what happened to Lovecraft (Since you were never racist to begin with), all to shill their subpar products or otherwise fish for clout

If there was ever a reason that proved Social Media was a mistake, Progressivism is a Cult, and that fandom gatekeeping was actually good, it’s fucking this. Holy shit someone please kill Twitter. 

[toasterfae]

Skin? Moisturized. Teeth? Tusk-like. Today’s mood? Mastodonsaurus giganteus. This animal lived during the Late Triassic about 215 million years ago. It’s an extinct relative of frogs and salamanders, but it probably behaved more like a crocodile: Its large, flat skull and tusk-like teeth (some of which protruded through the skull) seem to be adapted for seizing large prey. You can see this life-sized model in the Museum’s Hall of Vertebrate Origins! Plan your visit.

[toasterfae]

im not gay but 20 blueberries is 20 blueberries

[toasterfae]

in general i dont think fandom tattoos are a bad idea but i think u need to at least give yourself like a two year buffer from the end of that piece of media before you commit. like if someone told me "yeah im obsessed with hazbin hotel rn so im gonna get a hazbin hotel tattoo" id be like woah okay maybe put a pin in that idea for later. but if someone told me "yeah i read homestuck in its prime and i still love it so im gonna get a homestuck tattoo" id be like well fair enough its been like eight years. if you still like it now you'll probably still have fond memories of it in 20 years. you do you.

[toasterfae]

[toasterfae]

[toasterfae]

Saying “the McDonalds flag at Guantanamo Bay is flown at half mast in order to honor the anniversary of 9/11” out loud and then immediately dying of a stroke

[toasterfae]

Fun fact!! While in the United States, the twin towers were attacked on September 11th, in the rest of the world it didn’t actually happen until almost two months later. This is because Americans use Month/Day/Year format instead of Day/Month/Year like most other countries, meaning that 9/11 actually falls on November 9th for most of the world.

[toasterfae]

starting an evil thrift store called badwill. all money goes to evil causes like cancer research (researching how to give more people cancer), feeding the hungry (to wild dogs) and supporting veterans

[toasterfae]

I'm a big fan of wizards-as-programmers, but I think it's so much better when you lean into programming tropes.

A spell the wizard uses to light the group's campfire has an error somewhere in its depths, and sometimes it doesn't work at all. The wizard spends a lot of his time trying to track down the exact conditions that cause the failure.

The wizard is attempting to create a new spell that marries two older spells together, but while they were both written within the context of Zephyrus the Starweaver's foundational work, they each used a slightly different version, and untangling the collisions make a short project take months of work.

The wizard has grown too comfortable reusing old spells, and in particular, his teleportation spell keeps finding its components rearranged and remixed, its parts copied into a dozen different places in the spellbook. This is overall not actually a problem per se, but the party's rogue grows a bit concerned when the wizard's "drying spell" seems to just be a special case of teleportation where you teleport five feet to the left and leave the wetness behind.

A wizard is constantly fiddling with his spells, making minor tweaks and changes, getting them easier to cast, with better effects, adding bells and whistles. The "shelter for the night" spell includes a tea kettle that brings itself to a boil at dawn, which the wizard is inordinately pleased with. He reports on efficiency improvements to the indifference of anyone listening.

A different wizard immediately forgets all details of his spells after he's written them. He could not begin to tell you how any of it works, at least not without sitting down for a few hours or days to figure out how he set things up. The point is that it works, and once it does, the wizard can safely stop thinking about it.

Wizards enjoy each other's company, but you must be circumspect about spellwork. Having another wizard look through your spellbook makes you aware of every minor flaw, and you might not be able to answer questions about why a spell was written in a certain way, if you remember at all.

Wizards all have their own preferences as far as which scripts they write in, the formatting of their spellbook, its dimensions and material quality, and of course which famous wizards they've taken the most foundational knowledge from. The enlightened view is that all approaches have their strengths and weaknesses, but this has never stopped anyone from getting into a protracted argument.

Sometimes a wizard will sit down with an ancient tome attempting to find answers to a complicated problem, and finally find someone from across time who was trying to do the same thing, only for the final note to be "nevermind, fixed it".

[toasterfae]

The earliest depiction of Christ was a shitpost

[toasterfae]

I'm so used to Gandalf's big naturals edits that now I watch lotr and I am shocked when I do not see his big naturals proudly displayed onscreen smh