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some people go to college to make more money. i go to college to write more danny phantom fanfiction. we are not the same

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Hear me out: Robin Dick would be the biggest Bruceman supporter and shipper.

This boy hates any of Bruce’s love interest with a passion because then his dad guardian spends less time with him and that’s obviously UNACCEPTABLE, SCANDALOUS even, so when rumours start circulating that Bruce Wayne is in a relationship with the Batman, he jumps right on the wagon.

Reporter, thirsty for a story: Mr Grayson what do you think about the rumours that Bruce Wayne is dating the Batman?

Dick: What do I think about my dads you mean? My very married very taken dads? My very faithful to each other plural dads?

He would fuel the rumours both as Robin and as Dick Grayson, punching criminals for talking bad about Wayne enterprises as Robin (“THAT’S MY STEPDADS COMPANY YOURE TALKING ABOUT!”). He would be on online forums all day talking about how Bruceman is the only Batman ship that makes sense and Doxxing people who disagree.

Bruce is so exasperated because this is happening at a time where only Alfred and Dick know his real identity so he can’t even do anything with ANYONE without making either Bruce Wayne or Batman look unfaithful.

Throw Reporter Clark Kent into the mix who has been sent to scope out the Bruceman story, who Bruce makes the mistake of flirting with at a gala. Both Clark AND dick are scandalised.

Dick, making a scene: HOW COULD YOU! BATMAN IS WAITING FOR YOU AT HOME AND YOURE HERE FLIRTING WITH SOME… SOME REPORTER??

Bruce, sighing: Dick-

Dick, tugging on Bruce’s suit and looking up at him with fake tears in his eyes: Dad, are you and dad getting a divorce? :(

Clark, panicking: NO NO THEYRE NOT GETTING A DIVORCE PLEASE DONT CRY

Meanwhile:

Bruce, crying in the corner: he called me dad

He would even go as far as insisting that Robin is his step sibling

Principal: how do you explain that whenever Robin is injured, Dick fails to show up at school the next day?

Dick: Robin and I are twins :) so when he’s injured I’m injured too and we have to stay home together!!

Bruce, whispering: I’m sorry, they’re not really twins but neither I or Bats have the heart to tell hem

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Tim, making chicken and dumpling soup, dropping a dumpling on the floor: This is sadder than the time I lost my spleen.

Bruce, choking on his coffee: Excuse me?

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obsessed with like, Jason who absolutely refuses to reconcile with the bats. he wants no part in that family and will not talk to them under any circumstances. but he's legally dead with no friends and sometimes he gets sick of being completely by himself and wants to have company. so.

Bruce: hey Alfred have you seen my-

*comes into kitchen to see Alfred calmly preparing dinner while Jason Todd, Killer Red Hood, silently does paperwork while sat on the corner of the kitchen counter*

Bruce:

Bruce: uh-

Tim, doing homework at the table: don't mention it. if you acknowledge him he'll leave. he just likes being around people sometimes.

the bats have to start treating him like a stray cat, letting him go to them and acting completely unbothered by his presence because if they even make eye contact with Jason he'll jump out the window and they 1. won't see him for a month and 2. will start to see a lot more murders cropping up around gotham.

eventually it gets to the point where Dick will come to dinner to see the rest of the family wordlessly ignoring the brick shithouse of a man who is just sat on the floor of the dining area reading a book and he has to just. take a breath and pretend Jason isn't there. calmly stepping around him without acknowledging him. Alfred will silently place a plate of food by the guys elbow while speaking to Damian about school. When they decide to move from the table to the tv room for a movie night none of them can even look around when they hear him eventually follow just to sit in the corner of this room instead.

Bruce: I'm concerned, this is abnormal for Jason. what if he's been drugged with something? or he's trying to gain sensitive information?

Damian: actually he used to do this a lot after he came out of the Lazarus pit. he liked to sit in and watch me train, and occasionally we'd find him sat by grandfathers feet while he ran meetings. Mother says it's important to let him settle, because it's likely that he's simply craving human intimacy on his own terms for once.

Bruce, crying: oh

Jason still refuses to say a word to any of them unless it's in costume, and even then it's the same old 'i'm not your son! i'm not one of you! fuck off!' shtick like normal. they just have to accept him sneaking into the house every now and then too.

one time Tim needs Red Hoods info on a case he's working and since Jason's been sat on the floor against the wall of the bat cave for the past 45 minutes just. staring into space and vibing. he risks sliding the file across the floor towards him before pointedly turning back to the batcomputer, the info he needs marked clearly. five minutes later it's wordlessly slid back, info filled out and Jason refusing to acknowledge Tim's existence again. it's the only way he'll communicate with them.

after a while it gets to the point where Jason will straight up go to bludhaven and break into Dicks apartment just to silently sit in the corner of the room and Be Around A Familiar Person. Tim comes back from his lunch brake at WE to find him sat on the edge of his desk, working through a case. They work in silence for the rest of the day and when Tim leaves Jason just follows. They get a batburger together but the second Tim slips up and asks how his day was he's off like a shot. Damian regularly eats lunch at school on the roof while Jason plays mario kart on a DSI next to him. Batman will be 4 hours into a solo stake out when civilian Jason will silently slide up next to him with a crossword. they never talk. Jason still makes it clear that he's pissed at Bruce. Bruce doesn't know what else to do but let him be and hope eventually, with enough time, things will progress even further.

Dick, whispering so Jason won't pick up on the fact that he's being perceived: are you sure this is normal

Damian: is anything about any of us normal

Tim: he's got a point. at least we know Jason's watching us. I did this shit all the time before I was Robin, and none of you ever noticed me.

Dick:

Tim: sometimes its comforting to be in the same room as people you're familiar with, even if you can't handle interacting with them.

Dick, crying: ok

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Dick giving Damian a trapeze bar gift and Damian deciding to use it as one of his weapons

he's really gonna hit people with it

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Batfamily and extended Batfam in Dc Ultimate Character Guide New Edition

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pray for better times, cause something doesn't feel right / am i losing my mind

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Did a silly little video

It’s also on TikTok if you use that

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Tim: When I was small-

Jason: *laughs*

Tim: What?

Jason: 'Was'.

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"Jason Todd. Once a Robin, always an ass" - Timothy Drake

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Tiny robins based on this post

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Bruce; my kids are so innocent and can do no wrong!

Dick: cheated on Kori with Babs while engaged

Babs: hacked the American government for petty reasons

Helena: framed a semi innocent man for guilty man to walk free because of plan

Cassandra: killed and revived a man with one two punches to teach him what death feels like

Jason: is a crime lord

Tim: blew up LoA bases and prob killed thousands

Steph: stole a million dollars from Bruce

Damian: almost killed a zookeeper to free a tiger

Duke: blew up a warehouse because it would make his job easier

(This all happened that day)

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Tim: We all have a skeletons in our closets.

Damian: You do?

Jason: Some more than others.

Damian: I don’t… anymore.

Dick: It’s perfectly normal.

Damian: You said it’s illegal to do such a thing.

Tim, Jason and Dick processing what he said: Wait, no!

Dick: We’re not being serious!

Jason: It’s an idiom, kid!

Tim: It means having past secrets that are either bad or embarrassing.

Damian: Oh. Then I don’t have any skeletons in my closet. You all know my past now.

Jason: I gotta get you an idiom booklet.

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Just found out that Barbara Gordon peels the crust off her sandwiches. She can hack into any government and has contacts all over the superhero and general world, and she peels the crust off her sandwiches, I love her so much, she contains multitudes.

My beloved loser-nerd who is one of the most dangerous people on the planet.

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I honestly cannot believe how far T(W)ERF rhetoric has spread on this site. They used to be the ONLY ones I saw openly mocking the concept of identifying as queer, the ONLY ones I saw referring to people as ‘kweer’ in a mocking way.

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Been reading about 1930's Italy for a fic then something something back then, boys Nico's age were trained to become soldiers, pledge their loyalty and all that.

It got me to thinking that MAYBE part of the reason why Nico likes Mythomagic so much is because something in him remembers how it felt to strategize and to win. Something like the thrill of observing and finding your enemies' weak points and knowing exactly when and where and how to attack.

That's it. That's my brainrot.

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by guanyueyingmiao084