to-the-black-moon-and-beyond

[to-the-black-moon-and-beyond]

Who in you’re opinion are the 5 best written characters in jjk?

1. Suguru Geto

Geto is the type of character I refer to as an "empathy monster", his genuine feelings of empathy for other people just make him all the more monstrous. Empathy isn't a positive or negative trait, it's just one personality trait that makes a person. It's just the ability to inuit other people's emotions naturally. It's not some magical trait that makes you a good guy. Suguru starts out his story as someone who strives to be good, but in a "self righteous" way. He's trying to assure himself that he's a good person, that his beliefs are the right ones.

Geto and Gojo work so well as character foils, because they are essentially the same person. They're both "the strongest" and that makes them see themselves as apart from normal people. Geto at first believes it's his duty to help weak people, but that still comes from a place of looking down on them.

Then Geto is put through something no normal teenager should have gone through, he gets close to a girl, only to watch her die right in front of him when he promised to be the one to save her and fall away from his best friend shortly after, because when Satoru became the strongest it seemed like he didn't need him anymore.

Geto sees himself above normal people, but it's actually him genuinely connecting to someone he and Gojo would have dismissed as a normal person before in Riko Amanai, and seeing her desire to live in this world the same as everyone else, only for it to be taken away that breaks Geto. Geto feels this empathy deeper and stronger than everything else, and because he cares the loss absolutely devestates him and the only way for him to go forward is to just cut off that empathy. He starts seeing everyone, except for the sorcers closest to him as being human. He disqualifies them.

Geto works so well as a character, because it's his good qualities that drive him to tragedy not his faults. He shows how uncaring the world of sorcerers is, if trying to be a genuinely caring person can be a fault that drives you off the edge.

2. Satoru Gojo.

Gojo's writing is well done because it's balanced, the entire character is built around the idea of being "the strongest" but instead of it being a power fantasy, Gojou's character revolves more around how much it sucks to be him.

Gojo can win any fight alone, but it doesn't get him what he wants. He can't use his strength to solve every problem. There are several things he can't do, he can't teach that well, understand or relate to other people, play politics with others.

What Gojo wants is a better world, and comrades that can stay by his side without getting left behind, but he can't have those things. Gojo actually has an insecurity around being the strongest, because he thinks it's all that defines him. He sees his strength as insufficient ultimately because there is so much he failed to do. He has strength, but he couldn't save Geto. Gojo is the strongest man in the whole world and still he fails, he makes mistakes like any other human. Just like his character profile says, Gojo can do almost anything, but there's nothing he particularly wants to do and when he does find something it slips out of his fingers.

3. Okkotsu Yuta.

Jujutsu Kaisen writes main characters well, and it does this by not allowing them to be "the main characters' of their stories. In most stories the world revolves around the viewpoint of the protagonists. However, in the case of both Yuji and Yuta every time they try to view themselves as the heroes, or act self-centered in their viewpoints, they get slapped in the face and reminded that they're not the only ones fighting here.

Yuta is a well thought out version of the "nakama" trope, in that Yuta's entire problem is how codependent he is. He can't function without people around him. He was so afraid of losing Rika when he was young, that he cursed her and bound her to him for years after her death which inevitably made her suffer.

Yuta's passivity is also a serious flaw. Maki calls him out for "playing the victim" as an excuse to avoid responsibility. If he lets others push him around, then he doesn't ever have to make decisions for his actions because he's "not at fault." Yuta's arc in Zero is forcing him to grow up and take responsibility, otherwise he'll keep hurting the people around him like he did Rika, and I hope we can see the conintuation of that arc.

4.  Kokichi Muta.

Kokichi is a perfectly executed tragic character. His circumstances aren't his own fault, but he still makes bad choices in those circumstances.

Kokichi's desire is to be together with everyone else. However, Kokichi is so afraid of his friends hating him, because of how worthless he believes his own body to be that he can't let them close. Kokichi has internalized the idea that he's weak, so he takes all the burdens on his own shoulders in an attempt to prove he's strong.

That, is what leads him to try to challenge Mahito all on his own. He wants to be closer to the others, but he can't bring himself to rely on them. It leads to one of the saddest scenes in the manga, and expresses the tragedy that's repeated again and again in the jujutsu world, that these are all just kids that want to be friends, and have the normal lives everyone else have. I want to be together with everyone. That's what Riko said. That's what Kokichi said. That's what Yuji tried to promise to Junpei. We want the characters we like to be happy, but to the ones with unhappy endings their story still matters.

Kokichi couldn't leave his room in the end, but even so there was still someone who loved him in Miwa, there's still someone who will remember him - and there's a power in someone who tried their hardest to live and love even if they failed in the end.

5. Mahito.

Anyway, now I'm going to praise the asshole that killed my other favorite.

Mahito is a frankenstein's monster like Dabi, he's just a little uglier. Mahito serves as an embodiment, a walking, breathing, id of human selfishness and desire. What's so interesting about his character are all his nasty traits are perfectly human ones. Human pettiness. Human jealousy. Human fickleness. The things that Mahito does are all things other humans do with each other. A confrontation with him is like an acknowledgement of just how terrible people can be to each other.

However, there's more to him than that Mahito is basically an infant, he is frankenstein's monster, a creation of humanity but distinctly not human and unaware of what he truly is. What I'm invested in is the potential of a character like Mahito. His starting point si the absolute worst of humanity, but humans are ore than just their bad traits. Just looking at the bad parts of people you're not looking at the whole truth. I'm interested in what kind of character that Mahito can grow into as he gains a wider view of the world around him, because he is a curious learning thing.

I actually hope we see him come back in canon after being eaten by Getwo, because there's a lot more that could be done with a character with so much potential as him.

[to-the-black-moon-and-beyond]

Tumblr is back!

Oh my God, finally I have a place to pour my heart and my soul into

[to-the-black-moon-and-beyond]

Apart from labels,

I am a young adult, who has yet to figure many things out. I am a student, who often stresses out, but nonetheless still tries to find the enjoyment in learning. I am a sister, who sometimes does annoying things to my siblings but nonetheless, cares a lot too. I am a daughter, who loves her parents dearly even though sometimes questions the words that come out from them. In many ways I am just like the others - I do a lot of things that people would do too. 

It always puzzles me why people are so adamant on persisting that my life is unthinkably unimaginable just because of those labels.

[to-the-black-moon-and-beyond]

Numbers never lies like string of words do, but numbers always frustrated me.

Maybe it’s not the number that I’m frustrated about, it’s the truth behind those numbers.

[to-the-black-moon-and-beyond]

Sebelah Mata

Sebelah mataku yang mampu melihat Bercak adalah sebuah warna warna mempesona Membaur suara, dibawanya kegetiran Begitu asing terdengar Sebelah mataku yang mempelajari Gelombang kan mengisi seluruh ruang tubuhku Terbentuk dari sel akut Dan diabetes adalah sebuah proses yang alami Tapi sebelah mataku yang lain menyadari Gelap adalah teman setia Dari waktu waktu yang hilang Sebelah mataku yang mempelajari Gelombang kan mengisi seluruh ruang tubuhku Terbentuk dari sel akut Dan diabetes adalah sebuah proses yang alami Tapi sebelah mataku yang lain menyadari Gelap adalah teman setia Dari waktu waktu yang hilang...

Depok, 26 Februari 2018

Sungguh, takut sekali aku ini, akan segala sesuatu yang dibawa oleh gen-gen yang tidur di dalam tubuh ini. Sungguh, takut sekali aku ini, harus menebar abumu ke samudera dengan sesal seumur hidup.

[to-the-black-moon-and-beyond]

Eventually

If only there could be another way to do this 'Cause it feels like murder to put your heart through this I know I always said that I could never hurt you Well this is the very, very last time I'm ever going to

But I know that I'll be happier And I know you will too Said, "I know that I'll be happier And I know you will too Eventually Eventually

Wish I could turn you back into a stranger 'Cause if I was never in your life, you wouldn't have to change this

But I know that I'll be happier And I know you will too Said, "I know that I'll be happier” And I know you will too Eventually Eventually

And I know just what I've got to do And it's got to be soon 'Cause I know that I'll be happier And I know you will too Eventually Eventually Eventually Eventually Eventually Eventually Eventually Eventually

I miss watching city lights at midnight from the window of Em’s room while remind myself to breathe, to truly savour the moment, and convincing myself that eventually everything is going to be alright.

[to-the-black-moon-and-beyond]

I wonder whether things will be easier if I truly hate you.

If I do, I’ll have something to blame. You, that is. My hatred will be the reason of my leave. It’ll be easier for me to walk my way out, to end all of this for all at once.

The thing is no matter how hard I’m trying to do so, I can’t.

I would probably do the same if I were you.

[to-the-black-moon-and-beyond]

I always fond of writing stories.

In a way it resembles of baking, another thing that I find myself truly enjoy in doing. Both of it involves patience and careful calculations in order to succeed.

Like baking, you need a recipe to write a story. There is no rigid procedure of doing it, of course, after all, you only bake for fun, not for professional purpose. 

And so does writing.

I’ve found my personal favourite recipe in doing it.

Step one is pouring raw painful feelings by typing it down. Sometimes you’ll go too far in mesmerizing the pain, and before you know it, your feelings have gone all over the place. You become too immersed in it. Think about it just like when you pour too much of flour into the bowl when you’re baking. The whole thing will be messy at first. But worry not, you can always clean it up later.

Step two is start stirring your whole story into a direction that is align to the message you’re trying to tell to the world. You write to express yourself, but you obviously don’t want to expose yourself. That’s why you wrap those raw feelings with metaphors, formed in fictional stories. Do it gently and carefully, like when you’re kneading the dough. 

Step three is adding your personal touch as a signature of your work. In other words, decoration time. It doesn’t have to be perfect, because that is not the aim of doing both of writing and baking. It aims to be authentic -- it aims to be you, only in different manifestations. You don’t have to add lines that doesn’t sound right to you. You don’t have to try to sound poetic in order to resonate to others. Simple illustrations will always do.

Above all of that, do both gently with a lot of love.

[to-the-black-moon-and-beyond]

Every once in a while I’ll find myself being mentally down and emotionally exhausted.

If that happens, I shut myself off from the world, spending my day staring at the ceiling of my room. I’ll tell myself that I’m too tired to cry, yet crying is the only thing that I manage to do for a whole day.

When the end of the day is near I’ll promise myself to bounce myself back the day after. To pick up whatever I left off.

However today I find myself fail to promise myself so.

[to-the-black-moon-and-beyond]

Every time I got my heart broken I always find myself asking the same question.

What did I do wrong?

What am I supposed to do to end this seemingly unbearable pain?

How do I mend my broken heart?

I always convince myself that I’ll somehow manage to go through everything. 

When I finally have, it feels like I become more enhanced -- there will be something different about myself. I become firmer of my own principles. Somehow the wounds and the scars shape me even more, and thicken my skin. I can feel that it strengthen me more as a person.

For once in a while every time I get used to the pain I’ll be convinced that I have become stronger. I won’t let myself be wrecked over such things in the foreseen future.

However pain is inevitable, thus it is naive to wish for not being in one ever again. Every time I got my heart broken again, it feels like I’m getting back to square one.

[to-the-black-moon-and-beyond]

ふたりで交わす言葉　それが歌になるのなら

君が気に入ったのは　どんな melody なんだろう?

急にこの世界が　昨日と違ってても

君がいればそれだけで　また奏でられる duet

複雑な現実も　予想出来ない筋書きも ふたりでいればちっとも　怖くなんかないから 日々を飾る光(light)や　心満たす夢が 足りないより君の事　奪われるのはまっぴら

忘れないで　忘れないで 僕は君が好きなんだ 常(とわ)と書いて　永久(とわ)の愛で 護(まも)りたいと知ってよ 愛してるよ　愛してるよ　全部君に捧(あ)げるんだ だからさあ　僕の側においで

ふたりで過ごす時間　それを歌にするのなら 僕がつま弾いたのは　少し寂しい音符さ ひと懐っこい方が　しあわせ呼べるから 君と僕のすきまを　ふたつで埋める duplet

でたらめな噂も　耳を疑う冗談も ふたりで聴けばまったく　迷う事はないから 君の嬉しい顔が　僕の motif なんだよ 何をしても君の事 傷つけるのはまっぴら

変らないよ　変らないよ 僕は君が好きなんだ 直(ただ)と書いて　無償(ただ)の愛で 包みたいと知ってよ 信じてるよ　信じてるよ　君と常(とわ)に生きるんだ だからさあ　僕の側においで

君を乗せて　ふたりを乗せて colorful ���奏でる melody 響くよ 更に乗せて　想いを乗せて　重ね合う まだ駄目だ　まだだ　終わる事ない duet

君がいつも　僕にくれる 宝物がそれなんだ 君の涙　君の笑顔　分かちたいよどっちも 暗く長く　寒い夜も ふたりで明日(あす)を照らすんだ だからさあ　もっと側においで

忘れないで　忘れないで 僕は君が好きなんだ 常(とわ)と書いて　永久(とわ)の愛で 護(まも)りたいと知ってよ 愛してるよ　愛してるよ　全部君に捧(あ)げるんだ だからさあ　僕の側においで

[to-the-black-moon-and-beyond]

You Ask: Why Do You Play Your Playlist on Loop

To forget about the time.

To let the time pass.

To trick myself that I haven’t waste a day by doing nothing but staring at the ceilings, wondering why and since when everything went wrong.

[to-the-black-moon-and-beyond]

I hate you.

For being so careless and reckless, making me somehow feel obliged to take care of you in a way that is not always pleasant, like nagging you about curfew a lot.

I hate you.

For having such strong presence even in my personal space which I value very highly.

Even in your absence your presence somehow lingers, as if you never leave in the first place.

I hate you.

For whispering that you love me, leaving me to wonder how am I suppose to reply on that.

As if it’s not obvious already.

Most importantly I hate myself for not being able to say that back, because I'm so afraid that I won’t be able to forget you once I say it out loud.

[to-the-black-moon-and-beyond]

The Louvre

Well, summer slipped us underneath her tongue Our days and nights are perfumed with obsession Half of my wardrobe is on your bedroom floor Use our eyes, throw our hands overboard

I am your sweetheart psychopathic crush Drink up your movements, still I can't get enough I overthink your punctuation use Not my fault, just a thing that my mind do

A rush at the beginning I get caught up, just for a minute But lover, you're the one to blame All that you’re doing Can you hear the violence? Megaphone to my chest Broadcast the boom, boom, boom, boom And make 'em all dance to it

Broadcast the boom, boom, boom, boom And make 'em all dance to it Broadcast the boom, boom, boom, boom And make 'em all dance to it Broadcast the boom, boom, boom, boom And make 'em all dance to it Broadcast the boom, boom, boom, boom And make 'em all dance to it

Our thing progresses I call and you come through Blow all my friendships To sit in hell with you But we’re the greatest They’ll hang us in the Louvre Down the back, but who cares—still the Louvre Okay I know that you are not my type (still I fall) I’m just the sucker who let you fill her mind (but what about love?) Nothing wrong with it Supernatural Just move in close to me, closer, you’ll feel it coasting

A rush at the beginning I get caught up, just for a minute But lover, you're the one to blame All that you’re doing Can you hear the violence? Megaphone to my chest Broadcast the boom, boom, boom, boom And make 'em all dance to it

Broadcast the boom, boom, boom, boom And make 'em all dance to it Broadcast the boom, boom, boom, boom And make 'em all dance to it Broadcast the boom, boom, boom, boom And make 'em all dance to it Broadcast the boom, boom, boom, boom And make 'em all dance to it

Depok, February 19th 2018

I don’t want to become bitter about the end of everything, instead I’m trying to treasure everything that’s left behind. Life, after all, isn’t about getting what we want

[to-the-black-moon-and-beyond]

The Bonsai Tree

Grandpa loves to garden.

He’s fond of flowers, especially the colourful ones. When I visit him on summer, there are sunflowers planted in his backyard.

I like how it brightens up the whole home, as if it always offering warm and welcoming smiles, like my grandpa’s.

One day I try to talk to these sunflowers. Even though my parents already told me that plants can’t talk back to me, but I’m more than happy to try. They won’t push me to talk more like the adults, they won’t mock me if I stutter like my friends do, and most importantly I’m free to talk whatever I want to.

On the other day I pluck some of the petals. It’s so pretty -- I want to plant them too. Maybe it will grow if I plant these petals I will have sunflowers too in my home. So I decided to plant some of the petals to my grandpa’s ground to see if my plan will work or not.

“Oh no, my child,” Grandpa gently remove my hands from the ground. It has already been dirty by the soil. “You’re trying to plant one too, aren’t you?”

He picks me up and wash me, despite of my resistance. But grandpa isn’t angry, I think he just doesn’t want to see me dirty.

“You can’t plant these flowers in your home, my child. You live in an apartment, there’s no backyard like one in my house.”

He walks to a mini green house that’s full of plants on pots.

“But I know you like to talk to plants,” he picks up one of the pot. A particularly small one. “So I’ll give you this one.”

I frown upon this little pot. It doesn’t look colourful like sunflower. It’s fat and all green.

“It’s bonsai. This is a mini pine. It won’t grow bigger than the pot so you don’t have to worry, it will be forever small like you,” Grandpa hands me the pot.

“You should water it at least once a day and put it near the sunlight. I think you can place it on your desk, and it will accompany you at all times even when you’re studying.”

[to-the-black-moon-and-beyond]

A Lie

“I had been worst back then.”

Yet years after, there’s still rooting doubt in my mind that I have changed, at all, over the past years.

Maybe if I repeat those words like a mantra, I’ll finally be convinced that the present me is better from who I used to be.

[to-the-black-moon-and-beyond]

It takes a great amount of effort to train my self-control but here I am. Trapped in the vicious cycle of self-loathing for lashing out what I should had been repressed, again.