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Was anyone going to fucking tell me that electric eels have their anus directly under their heads because their head is basically their entire main body and they're actually like 90% tail

Or was I just supposed to casually stumble across that information

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NEW !!! SNAKE DISCOVERED

ITS CALLED THE LIMESTONE EYELASH PIT VIPER. THAT iS SO CUTE. ITS SO PRETTY

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The other day I answered the door to my postman. I was signing for stuff, like you do, when my kid came downstairs with only his underwear and a t-shirt on.

Now, the postman couldn’t see him from the front door, and I scribbled my signature and said, to my son, “You need to put some trousers on.”

My postman, very slowly, looked down at his trouser-clad legs with a mixture of confusion and horror, and then looked back up at me.

When I explained I was talking to my little boy out of his line of sight, he gave a very solemn nod and said: “I thought I’d put trousers on this morning, but suddenly when you said that, I really wasn’t sure.” 

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Every summer I forget how much I fucking love spiders I’ve drunk one every day this week

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what's a tumblr influencer? what am i influencing? my mental illness? 😭

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In Russia squirrels have been known to hunt stray dogs in packs, mobbing them in large numbers, gnawing them to death, and witnesses claim the squirrels then ran off carrying small chunks of flesh. It's probably a social defensive response that ended up accidentally killing the percieved predator and the squirrels were just like "hey, waste not want not" and decided to eat some of their would-be attacker.

hey what the FUCK is going on in Russia

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Any info you can drop about the upcoming Progress fics? I think you called them Raindrops and Tide? Can you say the setting? Or who we hear the POV(s) of?

Raindrops the Children of Rain is not terribly plotty; it's set in Kaer Morhen and Vizima.

The Tide Is Turning is set mostly in Wolvenburg, and I fully anticipate Much Screaming when it is published.

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people who don't wear glasses are so weird like you just wake up and your eyes are pussy fresh??

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every time i ask people if they do any new years resolutions its all ooooo i dont like making them bc i fail or ohhhhh no i couldnt keep up wiht that and then when they ask me and i tell them about Pasta Quest (i am eating as many different pasta shapes as possible in the space of a year) or when i did Fruit Adventures (every time i saw a fruit i had never eaten before id get one and eat it and read the wikipedia article about it) theyre like hang on i forgot you can make Fun Ones i want a fun one

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the most disorienting thing thats ever happened to me was when a linguistics major stopped in the middle of our conversation, looked me in the eye, and said, "you have a very interesting vernacular. were you on tumblr in 2014?" and i had to just stand there and process that one for a good ten seconds

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I started using Head and Shoulders ten years ago for itchy scalp and dandruff, and then for ten years I have not had itchy scalp and dandruff, so I thought “why do I still buy shampoo to combat itchy scalp and dandruff when I do not have itchy scalp and dandruff,” so I stopped buying the shampoo for itchy scalp and dandruff and can you guess I have now? Can you predict what currently afflicts me? It’s alright if you can’t because apparently I fuckin couldn’t either

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i keep seeing soooo many ppl saying the canada post workers are selfish for striking right around christmas time and that they shouldve waited until january or whatever like omfg that is the point are you stupid!!!

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I love this picture so much! Post it whenever I come across it.

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How would you die in Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory?

this is a great question because it narrowed my soul! i would choke on regular chewing gum on the steps outside before even entering the factory. willy would make no attempt to perform the heimlich maneuver and would leave my corpse on the concrete

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Obsessed with these Latvian Murderbot covers by Andis Reinbergs