tlougayforellie

[tlougayforellie]

Letting go

Fem reader x Abby Anderson

AU- Your farm was frequented by Abigail Anderson far too often but you weren’t complaining. One month Abby disappeared and didnt come back until months later.

^not proof read lets get that out of the pic real quick^ Enjoy another Abby AU because i am on a kick rn^

4 days a week for 6 months. Thats how often she came around. At first you weren’t sure about the dirty blonde who wondered around your farm playing with the animals. But as she came around more and you started to speak to the mystery girl your mind was changed. You would soon eagerly await Abigail Andersons arrival to your farm. And before you knew it Abby was sitting at your table for dinner 4 days a week.

On the day that marked seven months of Abby stumbling upon your farm, you cooked a nice dinner for Abby. you even put on a nice clean outfit. You had planned to speak your true feelings to Abby. To allow her to shatter your heart.

But she never showed. And she wouldn’t show up again until 3 month’s later.

You didn’t see Abby much in person anymore, so you drew her not wanting to forget her face. When Abby had returned back to the community, to the farm. She was different. You didnt bother to push, you had heard the rumors floating around. So you let Abby be. You let yourself live how you had before you met her.

It was a quiet night, the wind whispered sweet secrets to the trees, the sheep’s bleated softly at each-other, and the crickets sung their songs into the crisp night air. You sat quietly on the swing bench Abby had helped you build. These days sleep was one of the hardest things, your mind always wandered into the deep woods of your brain. Often you found yourself listening to the sounds of the farm as you laid on the bench.

You weren’t sure when you had fallen asleep or what had awoken you from that sleep. You sat up quickly catching a glimpse of a figure in the moonlight. Your feet were on the damp wood before you could even process what was happening.

“Abigail?” You whispered for no reason other then the belief that you were dreaming.

“sorry to turn up this late.”

You could hear a shake in the strong bold voice of Abby. You rushed over to her and wrapped your arms tightly around her cold wet shoulders. She placed her hand gently on her lower back.

“You’re wet!” you noted while whipping the screen door open.

“it rained. you sleeping outside?” Abby asked as you pushed your house door open.

“oh no. just uhm watching the stars and fell asleep.”

You werent sure why you lied to Abby, you truly has no reason to. All you could do was focus on how Abby seemed off and how she was here. finally here.

“take a seat.” you pointed at your bed while shuffling through your closet.

You could hear Abby untying her shoelaces. You just stared at the closet looking for a shirt for Abby. You had so many questions but you were scared. scared that she would disappear again.

“Hows the farm?” Abbys voice was quiet. She wasnt her usual bubbly, bold girl you knew.

“Good.” You tossed a red shirt at Abby.

“Is this mine.” her voice said it was a joke but her face said she was faking it. There was no goofy upturned smile on her freckled face.

“yeah. you uh know where everything else is. I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”

You looked somberly at Abby, really trying to pick apart every feature. Every freckle, scar, and bruise. You needed to capture her face, your heart longed for you to never take your eyes off of her. scared that if you did take your eyes off of her, she would be gone again. her face slowly become a mist, her slowly becoming a ghost. But you had to look away, you had to.

You turned quickly and slammed the bedroom door, maybe a tad too hard. Every single step, breath, and look you took replayed over and over again in your head. was it you? had you scared her away? As your thoughts consumed every being you lost sight of what was real.

“I was looking for ya.”

Abbys voice was soft. You knew she had to be standing in the doorway because you hadn’t heard the soft sound of the air pushing the door into its rusted stop.

“Yeah sorry. just needed a breath of fresh air.”

It seemed as if the farm knew how important this was. The sheep, the wind, and the crickets had fell eerily silent. Abbys breathing was soft, you wondered if she could hear the hitch in your breathing. The door finally clicked into its place and the wood creaked as Abby’s footsteps made their way towards you.

“You’ve been okay?” She asked while the bench creaked from the weight of her sitting down.

You glanced over at Abby. The soft yellow light from the porch light illuminated Abby’s face and all you could do was stare. Stare because you were afraid. She reached for you but you fell back against your side of the bench.

“I know you didn’t come to the farm at this time to make small talk Abs. Why are you here? How long do I have to do this with you? are you going to leave again?”

You weren’t sure why but you had suddenly worked up the courage to word vomit every anxiety you had. You watched Abby’s fingers lace around the blanket you had left out. You eyes traveled along her arms taking in all the new scars and cuts.

“I know the locals have talked.”

“so what? those are rumors Abby. i want to hear it from you.”

Abby let out a deep sigh, her eyes locked with yours. For a moment you thought you could see Abby letting her guard down. The stone washed away and her face had emotion on it. But she pulled away just like she always did.

“No, you’re right. I- uh don’t know why I came here.”

She pressed her arm’s against her legs to push herself up. You quickly grabbed Abbys left arm into both of your poorly manicured hands.

“No! God Abigail. I-I don’t know what happened to you these past three months, I don’t know where you went or what you did. I do know that you’re in pain, and uh you think you have to live this life in this pain but you dont have to. Let whatever happened out there go. Tell me whag happened. i cant-“ you paused to read Abby’s facial expressions, soft, beautiful. “I cant lose you again.”

Abby loosened, every muscle relaxed against you. She took your hand in hers, you let your arm find its way around her back. With her free arm she placed the blanket over the both of your laps. Her breath tickled the hair on your neck but she didn’t mind.

“I love you.”

Your words seemed to be spoken into the night air. The trees rattled their leaves and the farmhouse creaked. You could feel Abby’s hair against your shoulder as she say up to face you.

“Thank god.” She mumbled while leaning towards you.

Her lips were soft, they were everything you had dreamed of. When she rested her forehead against yours you let out a deep laugh.

“Thank god?” you laughed while Abby smiled back at you. You hadnt seen her beautiful smile in so long.

“What,” she laughed out.

“Thank god” you mocked her.

Your laughs and voices echoed into the early morning air. The farm didn’t feel as lonely anymore. You knew things weren’t perfect but she was here. You both were here at the farmhouse willing to work it out. Abby willing to let go of the life she had created in the hurt she had become so accustomed to.

[tlougayforellie]

Who You’ve become.

Abby x Reader

AU- where You and Abby have created a life together. Raised Lev as your guys son. But her anger and her vengeance against Ellie and Joel cause a divide.

—- sorry if this ass I wrote it quick because I had been thinking about daddy Abby—- not proof read cuz im lazy—-

*mean Abby* *fighting* *mentions of murder* *gay, very gay female reader*

“Abby!” Your voice echoed over the surrounding mountains. You were done with the silent game she was playing with you.

“I swear to fuck-“ you took a moment to think if you really wanted to do this- “I will take my ass back down this mountain and leave you here to wallow in your anger.”

Abby finally stoped, rocks crumbling beneath her feet as she turned to face you. Anger covered her freckled face, it was hard to believe that this was the same freckled face that made you lose your breath.

“Do it, Y/N. See if I give a shit.”

You weren’t sure if was the sudden icy air that stole your breath or Abbys use of your full name. A lump grew in your throat because you knew. You knew that Abby had another teenage girl on her mind.

“Give it up Abby!” Your shaky voice filled the silent mountain yow two stood atop.

Things had shifted between you guys since she found them. Abby had always had revenge on her mind but since killing Joel and breathing the same air as Ellie, she had changed. You wondered if Ellie Williams was doing the same thing to her family that Abby was doing to yours.

“I just- Why? Why!” You screamed at her in anger. Why let her talk? If she wanted to play the silent game then you would speak enough for the both of you.

“She did this!” Abby moved down closer to you, it scared you almost. The anger and swift movements towards you made you cower.

Anger melted into you now, but this anger was for your family not some stupid grudge that you couldnt get over. Abby always wanted to blame someone else, it was never her fault. That made boil over, why couldnt she admit she was the problem?

“Tore us apart? Tore your family apart? that was you Abby. Not Ellie, not Joel. You!”

You wiped away the hot tears that were streaming down your face. Everything revolved around Ellie Williams these days. Ever since that fateful day years ago. And then the fateful day that happened only months ago had refueled the fire you thought was burnt out. But clearly embers still smoldered inside of Abby all these years later.

“She kill-“ You cut Abby off before she could spit out her anger filled speech on the untimely death of her late father. Again she was trying to deflect the blame.

“Don’t. Do not blame this all on her. Your dad died and I’m so fucking sorry, Abigail. But this? This shit with us and Lev thats on you. I just don’t get it. You know you got your damn revenge. You murdered her father figure. Eye for an Eye. Now give it a rest. Why tear your family apart for her? Why can’t you just let her go?”

You stopped to take in Abby’s expression to see if any other emotion was present. You couldn’t see it if it was there. Not only could you feel Abbys tense presence but you could now feel Levs. He must have finally caught up.

Lev had been everything to Abby when you guys had first found him. He quickly and easily fit into the mold of the family you had begun creating with her. But as the months clicked on since the murder of Joel Miller at the hand of your lover, she had become distant. Slowly you and Lev were eating dinner together, slowly you were the only one teaching Lev survival skills and school lessons. Slowly but surely it became Lev, you, and the ghost of Abby.

“Abigail, I feel like you love the idea of Ellie being dead, more than you love Lev and I. And we’re going home now. So come if you want or don’t. we dont care anymore.”

You felt Lev’s small cold hand wrap around yours, something he hadnt done in a long time. His soft sniffles filled the silence between you and Abby. You knew this destroyed him as much as it did you. But you had to do what was best for your family, for him.

You so desperately wanted Abbys face to soften, for her to finally drop the tough girl act. For her to wrap her strong arms around Lev and you again. To feel like a family again. To go home with you guys. To stop being a stranger who lived alongside you and Lev.

“fine.” Her voice was stone cold.

You felt like a bullet had pierced through your heart. Like someone took a bat to your heart and just kept beating it until it was a million different pieces. This wasnt the answer you wanted. But it had been the one you expected. You knew Lev’s heart had shattered too by the way his fingers began to twitch in your hand.

Abby had already began heading back up the mountain. You felt the grip on your hand get tighter as Lev’s small frame tried to yank you in the other direction. Hot tears pooled down your face as you watched Abby walk away. God. You felt like your whole world had fell apart. 19 years old with a 13 year old kid you had chosen to raise with who you thought was your soulmate.

You stumbled back as Lev pulled on your arm. You couldnt let Abby have the last word, not this time. It wasnt about the anger you felt towards her or the pain she caused you hut the pain she caused your guys son.

“You’re just like her!” You yelled out despite the rock in your throat. Abby didn’t even stop, she just kept walking. You knew it stabbed Abby to hear that though. You used her deepest secret against her.

You finally gave into Lev’s tugging and turned back to head down the steep mountain side. You and Lev walked in a somber silence back down the mountain. You weren’t sure what to say to him. Abby and you had raised Lev like he was your own and truly he was your son. and now Abby was walking away. Leaving you as a single parent in this treacherous world.

“Do you think Abby will come back?” Lev’s voice was barely louder than a whisper.

“The only way she’s coming home is in a body bag or until Ellie Williams is dead.”

No other words needed to be spoken. Lev and you had an understanding of the silence you two shared. You had shared years with the family you had made with Abby and Lev. But today leaving the mountain your family divided.

“It’s just you and I again, bud.”

He gripped your hand tighter and you couldnt help but feel his pain too.