tit-is-what-tit-is - Tumblr blog

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10/10, no notes

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TIL that in 1903 the New York Times predicted that building a flying machine would be possible in 1-10 Million years.

via ift.tt

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funniest screenshot from the entirety of the Alex Jones trials so far imo

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admittedly I don’t spend a lot of time on reddit in general so ymmv but the ftm fitness subreddit is literally that “bodybuilders responding to forum post by skinny dude” meme. like every reply is genuinely good advice and/or “you look amazing, king” 

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ඞ IT HAPPENED ඞ

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ඞ IT HAPPENED ඞ

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calling a male judge "your honor" when youre a guy is so gay like what you tryna honor?? his dick???🤨🤨

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Fun family story: when my aunt was marrying her wife everyone was really excited but also dreading it because my aunt is known for her insanely long speeches so everyone knew her vows would be like 9 hours long so when it came time for her to say her vows she had a shit ton of cue cards in her hands and even her wife started groaning and my aunt took a deep inhale and then unravelled all the cue cards which were taped together and they all just read ‘HOT DAMN’ in giant letters and those were my aunts vows.

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4 days until wet rat wednesday

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That guy who fell asleep during a 24 hour marathon playing majora’s mask will always be fucking hilarious

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do me a solid and just reblog this saying what time it is where you are and what you’re thinking about in the tags.

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like i’m ever going to let some absolute godless pervert see the bottom half of my face ever again. in a TARGET, no less

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If you are like me with the anxiety and the depression and the executive dysfunction

- DON'T say to yourself "I need to take a shower"

-showering is a long multistage process that requires you to be vulnerable (naked, wet, blots out sound, what if someone calls/rings the doorbell, etc)

-INSTEAD say to yourself "I'm just gonna go turn on the water right quick"

-small one step task checked off your list

-your anxiety brain is a dumb motherfucker and it will be none the wiser that you have tricked it into BEGINNING the shower process

-once the water is running you are already there in the bathroom with the water running so you might as well finish the job

NOTE that this trick works for like. Fucking everything.

-Don't "work on your WIP"-- just open the document

-don't "make the scary phone call" -- just pull up the number in your contacts

-don't "make lunch" -- just pull out a loaf of bread

-don't "do the dishes" -- just open the dishwasher. Literally just open it

Remember ur anxiety brain is a dumb motherfucker and that you CAN therefore TRICK it into being functional

also bonus tip: for those times when u just need to lie on the floor and be a worthless lump of anxiety-ridden garbage for a few hours, download Duolingo and pick a language. Are you going to be fluent in a week? No. But it's easy to focus on and that way when you've been down there for half a day and your shitty fukken brain is trying to convince you you're garbage because it KEPT you there, you can counter with "excuse you I just spent the last four hours TEACHING MYSELF A FOREIGN LANGUAGE you punk ass bitch."

Good luck out there kids I believe in u