timmy-the-undead-cat

[timmy-the-undead-cat]

I feel like they should just print this out and hand it to any reporter dumb enough to ask about recovering bodies

[timmy-the-undead-cat]

hey what's up with the "!" in fandoms? i.e. "fat!" just curious thaxxx

I have asked this myself in the past and never gotten an answer.

Maybe today will be the day we are both finally enlightened.

[timmy-the-undead-cat]

We've been losing power due to winter storms lately so my partner 3D printed me a tealight "to fill in for tumblr when you're offline"

anyway this should be official merch imo

[timmy-the-undead-cat]

children outside screaming: annoying but ultimately for the greater good. children need Going Outside and Screaming Time for proper emotional development. an auditory burden I am willing to bear

neighbor with his car he made louder on purpose: jail for neighbor. jail for ten thousand years

[timmy-the-undead-cat]

House of Worth, c. 1893-95. Red silk velvet.

“Severe corsetting falling at the natural waist, a flaring skirt, and the return of gigot sleeves constituted a fin-de-siècle extremism. The engorgement of sleeves and skirt made this extreme constriction seem even more exaggerated in the context of the bulbous shapes surrounding the ideal, hard, narrow waist. The style was maintained well into the twentieth century as a flattering stage effect by actresses such as Sarah Bernhardt. “

via The Metropolitan Museum of Art

[timmy-the-undead-cat]

I’ve never been so taken out by a response

[timmy-the-undead-cat]

so if there’s one single trope i’m always down to fight it’s the animal bride (folklore motif 402??) which a lot of you are probably familiar with as the selkie - the fisherman either falls in love, steals her skin to trap her on land/gain power over her, or they fall in love and THEN he steals her skin to keep her from leaving, and either way she spends a lot of time gazing sadly out to sea and then she or her child finds the skin and never returns again. and that’s awful on a whole lot of levels - it’s not love, it’s control.

BUT. but the thing is. you how selkies/seal women was a pretty common variation of this? another really popular one was swans.

i just want you to think about that for a moment. swans. like…I get it, they’re pretty, graceful birds, certainly it’s easy to imagine them magically becoming pretty graceful ladies? but have you ever fought a swan. swans are awful. swans are the devil’s geese. imagine seeing a pretty magic lady and being absolutely enchanted by her, and stealing her magic feather cloak, and then you go up and say ‘hey i’m in love with you, let me make you my queen, it will be great, we’ll be so happy’ and she just looks at you for a moment and…

you know i was going to say maybe she just shouts for her sisters and suddenly you’re realizing you’ve made a terrible terrible mistake bc you’re surrounded by big fucking birds who are all hissing. but honestly if this swan lady is as aggressively down to brawl as any other generally unhappy swan, then she’d straight up fuck you up on her own. she’d just deck you roundhouse, honestly. you don’t fuck with swans. why does this trope exist

[timmy-the-undead-cat]

A mark on your forehead identifies the god you must worship to stay alive, usually by joining its local church or temple. Your mark is unknown, meaning an old, forgotten god sponsored you. To survive, you must either find an old temple to worship at, or do the arduous task of building a new one

[timmy-the-undead-cat]

it is past time we jettisoned the useless false dichotomy of introversion vs. extroversion and just accepted that everybody has a minimum amount of social interaction, failing which, they get really weird. and everybody has a maximum amount of social interaction, exceeding which, they get really weird. these levels are different for everyone, for a variety of reasons, and have no moral dimension. and that is all.

[timmy-the-undead-cat]

Old dude came in the shop and when I said "lemme know if you have any questions" he goes "what was the name of Alexander the Great's horse," thinking he was so funny. I told him Bucephalus, and he was so disappointed. Like his whole day was hanging on beating me at trivia. He says "you're only the second person who knew that" and I said "well, probably the third if you count Alexander the Great." He left without buying anything, and did not say goodbye. I think I honestly hurt his weird little feelings! Sorry I'm a bitch, old man!

[timmy-the-undead-cat]

[timmy-the-undead-cat]

So I was once actually collecting data in a frozen river, and another guy fell in, filled up his waders and everything. He was wearing cotton (we were floored), and I had the car keys so I was like “alright, I’ll walk you back to the car to make sure you’re okay. Then you can strip down in there and get the heat going. There’s a blanket to wrap up in.” And he looked at me like I was insane. He said, “what? I’m fine.” I informed him that actually, if he stayed outside in subzero temperatures, soaking wet, in cotton, he was Licherly going to Freeze To Death, and he was like, “it’s not the 1800s lmao.”

And then while the guy in charge Forced him to go back to the car and strip, I had to stand there in a frozen river absolutely bewildered by the implication that a Wildife Biologist thought hypothermia is like, an old timey disease that people stopped getting at some point.

[timmy-the-undead-cat]

Listen, buddy, the sooner you realize I can’t be killed with any weapon made upon this world, the sooner we can be friends :)

[timmy-the-undead-cat]

The urban fantasy show I actually want to see is a hospital drama with a dedicated wing for supernatural illnesses.

Vampirism. Lycanthropy. Cheap spells gone wrong. A woman brought in for her prenatal has to be told her baby is a lindworm. Someone is literally being followed by the anthropomorphic personification of the Black Death.

Someone somewhere out there is having their perception of the world irreparably shattered by the knowledge that magic is real, and at the other side is a team of doctors who have to roll their eyes and pull out Grimm’s Complete Fairy Tales because some high school kid tried to go Carrie with a cheap spellbook and turn all the kids at prom into frogs, and the doctors have to wrangle a couple dozen teenagers into admitting if they have a true love who can break the spell.

[timmy-the-undead-cat]

star wars headcanon time:

- so mon mothma (based on the ep3 deleted scenes) knew Padme pretty well. and consequently TOTALLY clocked that she was pregnant. she knew. a bunch of senators knew. they never said anything because they respected her privacy.

- however padme was good at keeping her Secret Affairs under wraps so mon mothma had no idea who the father was. she never guessed it might be anakin bcos everyone knows Jedi don’t do stuff like that.

- padme dies suddenly & mysteriously. shortly thereafter bail organa and his wife announce that they’ve adopted a baby girl. 

- at the time mon mothma does not think much of this BUT later as leia gets older she begins to resemble padme more and more in both looks & personality and mon mothma is like. hmmm.

- so she draws the natural conclusion.

- padme was having an affair with bail organa! and when she died in childbirth bail quietly ‘adopted’ the baby to avoid the scandal.

- mon mothma elects not to say anything about this because it’s not really her business and also the past is the past and padme has been. dead for several years at this point and she doesn’t feel like opening that wound back up.

- instead she just, takes leia under her wing.

- anyway! later when a kid w the last name Skywalker who says his dad was a jedi shows up to join the rebellion she’s like. hm.

- she didn’t know anakin well but at the very least she knew OF him and they like, probably met

- so she figures anakin must have fathered a child while he was travelling the galaxy during the clone wars. she never really liked anakin so she’s just like ‘hm guess he was a deadbeat dad. can’t say I’m surprised.’

- she is not aware however that Anakin became Darth Vader so she doesn’t really feel the need to say anything to luke about this. as far as she’s aware luke already knows the truth about his parentage. at most she might be like ‘hey I knew your dad a bit, he was a good jedi & a war hero’.

- so as far as mon mothma is concerned, anakin skywalker’s son and padme amidala’s daughter are both fighting for the rebellion. the fact that they’re the same age is just kind of a coincidence. tatooine uses a different calendar from most planets so she never notices that they literally have the same birthday.

- anyway later Leia is like ‘so guess what! luke is my long-lost brother. isn’t that wild?’

- and mon mothma is like

………………….’PADME WAS BANGING ANAKIN SKYWALKER????’

(leia: not what I expected you to take from that but. yeah I guess she was.)