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me in five years when i still don’t have my life together:

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i regret nothing

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I FORGOT I CHANGED CHERRY'S CATCHPHRASE TO THAT

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what the world looks like after a big cup of lemonade

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how write book?

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see him schmoove

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Hey bitches. Let’s fuck Monday hard

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throwback to 4 years ago when Rooney outed my younger sibling to me

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EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP SCIENTISTS AT THE SCHMIDT OCEAN INSTITUTE HAVE FOOTAGE OF A LIVE COLOSSAL SQUID FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑

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We all making grandpa cry btw

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i found a way better way to mix the backing track so now it sounds SO much better and i feel like a goofus cuz i already posted it but whatever. i can post it as many times as i want.

and you WILL listen to it again 0',:^] won't you?? cmon this is like the best song ive ever written it's got triple entendres and stuff

anyway, again, this is a song i wrote about uhh social change

lyrics below the cut

C Suite deceased, three to the back and the leg

Lead pieces to pierce like needles, eyes to rack up the dead

Passing through you like a breeze or maybe vengeance instead

It's just a shame you never saw the people pleased when you bled

To kill a Vulture is a population pleaser

Anti-advocates for social change in culture are the lames who mourn the geezer

There's a premium on petty cost increasers,

Best protect your neck, they're showing 3-D reruns just outside the Hilton theaters

Can you feel the terra shakin'?

The marchin' of the people most affected by the takin'.

Are you bringin' home the bacon?

The parchment sewn with seeds you chose to reap before you rake in.

To pull a common thread of decency,

The needs of many supersedes the bottom lines of regency,

To put it reasonably,

Proceed into a retreat, you shouldn't exist without a reason to be

Lets sick the wolves on wallstreet,

Little Red bookin it never looked so sweet,

We tear into the super-pacs to show the world it's a pigsty

It's my opinion currently they want us to all die

Yeah, well fat fuckin chance,

It's apparent to me that everybody's sick of this dance

So if you're curious on how to make a politician listen

It's a simple mission all ya gotta do is

Now put your hands in the air,

If you see the best of us bleeding and you just don't care

Yeah, we make a miserable pair,

Let em know that time is fleeting now, especially theirs

Put your hands in the air,

If you see the bougiest bleeding and you just don't care

Sorry, they said that life's not fair,

Let em know that time is fleeting now, especially theirs

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me when someone complains about something that's been genuinely bothering me too but i just brushed it off because i was worried that i was just bitchy/callous/sensitive but now I feel Vindicated

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My favorite jokes are about mispronouncing philosophers' names but I'm afraid it's a nietzsche subgenre

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man this year is gonna be the year i either die or become someone else i dont know which one maybe both

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what is THE worst thing you've ever drank. all liquids acceptable. please tell me what it was, bonus points for why